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Despite being alone during most of my free time outside of school and work, I've noticed I have a habit of wandering aimlessly into meaningless friendships all the time. Over the past 3 years of high school alone I can't even count how many acquaintances I've accumulated but I almost always lose interest and the friendship fizzles out rather quickly. This usually happens when the other person pushes towards hanging out when I have no desire to whatsoever. As messed up as this sounds, oftentimes I just view these people as mild forms of entertainment in class to keep from being completely isolated all year. Granted some of them are fun to talk to for a good laugh now and then, but I've never made a true connection with anybody, and in which case I did I'm certain I would put more effort into preserving the friendship.

I'm always anxious about hanging out with new people I don't know very well, especially when there are strangers present. I typically acquire the role of "new guy" and it feels more like an interview in an attempt to test my worthiness. I always have to observe my environment thoroughly before participating in whatever is happening, which tends to make poor first impressions. For instance if I'm used to talking to person X one on one everyday I can usually build a certain verbal chemistry with them. However if you throw me into a social setting with person X and new person Y, it sometimes completely throws off the bond I had with person X, and I seem like a different person which can probably be really confusing.

Unless someone comes along and completely sweeps me off my feet, I don't see anything changing in the future which can honestly be a little depressing. However it kind of gives me a sense of freedom by never being tied down by too many social obligations.

Do any of you feel as if you never truly fit in, or as if you were on the outside looking in? It's not exactly that I long for a meaningful relationship, it's just sometimes I would enjoy the challenge of comparing intellects with someone I actually found interesting. Even if I don't build any type of relationship with the person, sometimes it can just be fun figuring the other person out. I feel like a lot of INTP's are probably lone wolves to some extent, however the older and more mature ones probably have more fulfilling relationships.
 

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I've felt his way most of my younger life. I think having a social job that forced interaction really helped this a lot, and now I'm moving to push myself even further from my comfort zone. Force yourself to get out there sometimes, you won't regret it later in life!
 

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I always have some roles for people to play in my life.

The friend and the girl. It's not important who's playing these roles. What is important is that I need one good friend and a romantic interest. As the years goes by new people will play these roles.

Yes, I'm a lone wolf. I spend my time alone. I don't really care about people and I've lost all of my "friends" after I was done in school. I go to college and no one there knows my name and I'm not part of any clique. I don't even talk to them. I have my good friend and see him twice in a month or something like that and I have "my" girl. We have a weird and complicated relationship, but that's how it is.

I can't see my life any different than this scenario.
 

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However if you throw me into a social setting with person X and new person Y, it sometimes completely throws off the bond I had with person X, and I seem like a different person which can probably be really confusing.

Yeah, I hate new stimuli such a new person put into the mix. It's like what are you doing? My friend and I were enjoying eachother's company and you came along and disturbed the social dynamics. For now on, the very least someone can do is send a messenger a fortnight prior to their arrival as a warning of their future presence with the nature of your business/intent written on a scroll. I don't trust that said person will skip social pleasantries or be compatible to the current gathering.

Ex)
Scroll by New Guy

Dear Lord mcstuart17 and Lord Friend of the West Cafe Sector,

I am New Guy I, son of Mr. New Guy, East of the Rine. I come to inform thee of my arrival. I shall reach your campus lunch table by campus shuttle bus and human slave piggyback in one fortnight. Never fear, for I have the most modest intentions of skipping shallow discourse and squabble. I shall not discuss my past consumption of wine and whores as a petty attempt to establish my alpha presence within this gathering unless said stories are amusing or pertain to the current topic of discussion. Any debate that shall occur will be of civilized objectivity. No emotional outburst shall see the dawn of day. Nor shall I break words during moments of silence for the sake of noise. That is all.

, New Guy I

Me or Friend Response:

"I see our potential guest is of like mind. I approve thy presence"
"I concur"
"It is settled! Messenger, please pull out thy quill and begin writing as follows"
*Messenger pulls out scroll and quill*

Dear New Guy I,
We have received your message and believe you to be a good addition to our lunch gathering. You are more than welcome to join us.
, Lord mcstuart17
, Lord Friend
//Example

I understand that this can be seen as evidence of my mass ego and narcissism to refer to myself and friends as lords and require approved mandated letters before entering our circle. I just thought it was funny. I guess I watched too much Game of Thrones and Spartacus.

Joking aside, my point is that I like to have time to react to a different social situation. This provides me time to think and dictate whether or not I would like to participate with new folk and situations that are potentially energy draining and uncomfortable. I prefer small circles with people I know well or one on one with a stranger. I don't like to divide my attention among a big group of people.
 

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Even though I have many acquaintances and have no problems meeting ppl or making friends, I stil consider myself to be a lone wolf.

Often times, ppl will get attached to me and want to hang out and or spend time together. The problem I have is that they have bonded to me but I'm not emotionally invested in the relationship. Many times when I first meet someone I'm using my Ne to relate to them becoming a mirror reflecting themselves onto themselves. This is a typical INTP response to unfamiliar social situations.

So yea. I'm a loner.
 

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//in denial about the fact that I pretty much have no close friends anymore
//thank you school system for isolating me further and pushing me more into myself

I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure that I need friends to function and rant at and to feel like I'm not all alone and to not have an existential crisis.
My life only consists of school, the Internet, and talking about trivial TV shows and pretending to have lots of feelings so that I can relate to people that also watch the show right now, and it sucks.
(To have people yell at you about how meaningless your life is also sucks. Like, no kidding, I had no idea that everything that I do is trivial and meaningless! Thank you for bringing that back up again! I understand that they mean it to be motivating in their weird way, but it's obviously not working because it's just feeding into my negative feedback loop of demotivation. Is that even a word? I don't care. I really don't care because it seems to work.)

I'm in the process of starting a club at my school so that I may talk to more people about TV shows and books and maybe raise money for charity in the process. I wonder if this disqualifies me from lone wolf-dom, but who cares? Other lone wolves are probably the least likely to care.

I need to get some sleep. My lack of it has obviously increased my levels of self-doubt and self-deprecation and anxiety. I will probably deny having ever written anything like this in the morning. I bid you all good night.
 

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Yep. At the end of the day, when all is said and done, the only one I'll have to rely on is myself, and if I can't do that what kind of man am I? Most everyone I have ever met and the majority of whom I will ever meet me will forget who I am in a over a year's time, given we are very close. It is inevitable, so I drift through the crowds and social graces of others with a deep impact and resonating change at the moment, but no lasting effect. In turn, I forget and am forgotten, but such is the way of things. I'll move on and so will they, as tragic as it is.
 

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Don't take yourself too seriously. You are always going to feel like the odd man out. I'm in my 30s and it never gets easier but if you try to stay friendly with your acquaintances it'll help a lot when you DO want to spend time with another person. Once you get a job in a field of work that interests you, you'll meet others who you like and when its time to go happy hour genuine friendships can form. We live in a highly social world, unfortunately, and its true what they say that it's not what you know its who you know.
 

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I do consider myself a lone wolf. At one point I felt I would never fit in and that I would always be lonely. As I've grown up and handled my issues, I am less lonely every year. I have a pack now, and if you are open to new people and experiences you probably will too.

I just tell my friends/family that if they don't hear from me its because I am busy being a mage/archer in Skyrim or writing or planning world domination or learning a new language or whatever thing it is I am obsessed with at the moment. I tell them I love them and that I am so proud to have them as friends/family. They know I care, but they know I am a loner and they leave it that way.

Communication, do it!
 
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Yeah, I do consider myself a lone wolf (see avatar), although I do have a few close friends and I'm in a relationship with someone right now. I don't really see said people and I as having that bond that a lot of other people claim they have though. I mean, we are close, but to me it doesn't feel close. They have a tendency of seeing me as emotionally distant, which is pretty much true.
 

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Yeah, I've found very few people who are like me in personality, even other INTP's. It's really frustrating.

When I do, it's usually just a few traits in common, but when I (inevitably) bond very closely to the person (because I have become so desperate for someone I can at least somewhat relate to), it often is not returned in the same way. Even if we eventually become friends, they tend not to see as much of themselves in me as I see in them. (I guess I don't either, but I think it's a bigger deal to find someone a little like me, so I value the relationship more highly.)
 
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