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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Even before I figured out that I am ISFP it was hard, but now when I know more about myself it is even harder to deal with constant desire for affirmation from others.

Well, the more I know about myself, the more I embrace my emotions and feelings, which results in me freeing constant desire for affirmation from others even more.

Also, my life would be so much good if I don't have that desire in the background of my every social experience and I wonder, if you have it, how do you deal with that desire?
 

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I have it! Don't know how to deal with it though...
Anyone else? I'm all ears :p
 

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I find myself with the strong urge to ask about the tiniest decisions if I feel like someone else knows more than me, and I usually feel that way.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I have it! Don't know how to deal with it though...
Anyone else? I'm all ears :p
Actually, simply accepting that desire has "rearranged" emotions inside of me and I have been set free from that desire.

However, I don't think that simply accepting that desire will set you free from it, since you have said "I have it!" and then, second later, asked for advices regarding it.

Well, it has worked for me because I literally trust my emotions with my whole being. I have made super-risky decisions just because my emotions told me to.

Also, my emotions have never failed me and I don't think they will ever fail me. Well, since I am not really controlling them and they still manage to guide me, they must have some super-wisdom incorporated into them - my life has proven me this numerous times already.

More, since accepting that desire hasn't worked for you, maybe the system I have made, and that I will most likely never stop mentioning, will help you?
 

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By "affirmation", I mean that I constantly desire to get confirmation that I have done right from others.
I suspect, it's simply your inferior Te function that does that. As we get older, and it develops and we mature, this tends to go away--but not always for everything. :)

On the other hand, I suspect we may also have a tendency to be over-confident in some areas, thanks to our weak Te. But that's another issue entirely. :)
 

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Myes, it's very common that I get stuck in my work (creatively) when it's for an assignment if I don't get reassurance or confirmation that I'm on the right track. Lack of positive feedback (or even constructive criticism) has me second-guessing myself quite often in regards of activities where I haven't received enough feedback to know what I'm supposed to be doing to be doing it right.

In personal projects I might ask for opinions, but it's not intended as a way to seek affirmation like I would for a university assignment.

I'm more cooperative than competitive, and without proper feedback in a group I might almost come to a halt in production since I'm not always sure what I should be doing or if I'm even doing things right. It does however go without saying that the more experience you have of something the less you ought to second-guess yourself.
 

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Yes. But this is also common in EFP, maybe even cause others to call you EFP (despite the awesome number of ISFP performers, musicians, dancers, actors, lovers)... I think it has something to do with Se needing external impact, David Keirseys son MET ME and seemed to think me normal (all Artisans want impact)... haters and extreme introverts might call you names. Like histrionic. Or narcissist. ...but honestly, even within the realm of psychology, there are other traits of these things. SP types may be histrionic, rare to be narcissistic. We are too kind and giving to be narcissistic. We are kind in the most substantial, human way, not in a theoretical way, like we will give you the shirt off our back after we cuss you out.
 

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By "affirmation", I mean that I constantly desire to get confirmation that I have done right from others.
I think I mean something different from you actually. I desire that kind of Te affirmation cos I'm never sure if I'm doing it right; that doesn't necessarily bother me a lot. It's more that I desire social affirmation - like I'm never quite sure if I'm accepted as a part of the group -- I actually think its an Ni paranoia thing.
 
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I think I mean something different from you actually. I desire that kind of Te affirmation cos I'm never sure if I'm doing it right; that doesn't necessarily bother me a lot. It's more that I desire social affirmation - like I'm never quite sure if I'm accepted as a part of the group -- I actually think its an Ni paranoia thing.
Yes, now when you have said it, it is more like social affirmation for me too, I was confusing it with doing right, because if I have done right, I thought they would then accept me.
 

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In short, yes.

I put it down to a lack of decisiveness (inferior Te etc). It's like I'm often thinking - did I do the right thing? And judging internally. Even over silly things. Engaging Se probably helps shut up that part of my brain
 

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Not sure the desire for affirmation is inherently related to the functions. It sounds more related to the Enneagram. For instance, Enneagram 3 might seek out affirmation that they are important and not a failure. Enneagram 6 might seek affirmation that they made the best decision in a given situation. Enneagram 9 might seek affirmation that they are nice/good or that they haven't hurt someone's feelings or messed up the harmony or good feelings in a situation.

However, the functions may interact with these motivations. For an ISFP 9, Fi might dwell on all the times the ISFP might have hurt someone's feelings or disturbed the peace, which in turn causes the ISFP a lot of emotional pain and a desire to seek out affirmation. Or the ISFP 9 might notice a sudden negative change in a person's facial expression (with Se) when he/she made a comment, and might then feel bad and worry (with Fi) that he/she offended the other person. The ISFP 9 might obsess over (with Ni) what he/she did to upset the other person.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
However, the functions may interact with these motivations. For an ISFP 9, Fi might dwell on all the times the ISFP might have hurt someone's feelings or disturbed the peace, which in turn causes the ISFP a lot of emotional pain and a desire to seek out affirmation. Or the ISFP 9 might notice a sudden negative change in a person's facial expression (with Se) when he/she made a comment, and might then feel bad and worry (with Fi) that he/she offended the other person. The ISFP 9 might obsess over (with Ni) what he/she did to upset the other person.
This is exactly me.
 

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Actually, no. Not at all. Not even a little bit.
For me, if I'm really close with someone, then their opinion matters. But I don't care to please people.
But I really...just don't care what people think of me. I care what I think about me. I am who I am, I can't change that, and if people give me a hard time about it...tough, I guess.

Somehow, I always thought desire toward affirmation was an Fe-thing. But it could also be human nature; there's a lot of variation within each personality type.
 
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