Personality Cafe banner
1 - 20 of 46 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,309 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I would think that this would be a primarily "thinker" behavior/habit, and yet I'm this way. Whenever I feel the need to cry in public (or in front of anyone), I feel as though I need to hide it at all costs - and I'm not sure why. I have yet to ever feel comfortable crying in front of someone. Even if someone tells me that they want me to open up, I can't do it.

Are you like this? If so, why do you think that is?
 

·
Registered
INTJ 5w4 Sx/Sp
Joined
·
2,387 Posts
I am, and I think it's the Fi. :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wild

·
Banned
Joined
·
7,396 Posts
I'd think anyone who actually likes to cry in front of others is being manipulative, but that's just my perception... o_o

Yeah, I absolutely loathe it and will avoid doing that in public at all costs. I hate anything that could be construed as personal vulnerability, and displaying such personal weakness is humiliating and disgraceful (to me).

But I don't judge people who do it that harshly; then I just want to make them feel better or something. I don't know why I have different standards.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,309 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I'd think anyone who actually likes to cry in front of others is being manipulative, but that's just my perception... o_o

Yeah, I absolutely loathe it and will avoid doing that in public at all costs. I hate anything that could be construed as personal vulnerability, and displaying such personal weakness is humiliating and disgraceful (to me).

But I don't judge people who do it that harshly; then I just want to make them feel better or something. I don't know why I have different standards.
I wasn't suggesting that anyone does, though I do know women who cry to gain sympathy.

I've met quite a few people who cry openly in front of friends, or at least aren't totally uncomfortable with it. It always baffles me when someone is that way. Personally, I go into borderline panic attack mode whenever I feel it coming on.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
7,396 Posts
I wasn't suggesting that anyone does, though I do know women who cry to gain sympathy.

I've met quite a few people who cry openly in front of friends, or at least aren't totally uncomfortable with it. It always baffles me when someone is that way. Personally, I go into borderline panic attack mode whenever I feel it coming on.
Oh, okay. I read that as a like-dislike dichotomy, because it seems natural to me that nobody should actually like doing it in front of others.

And yeah, I'm the same way. I'll make an excuse to leave, or start apologizing profusely (because I'm so embarrassed), or generally try to hide myself and ask people to leave me alone. Even if it's friends/family. Something to do with not wanting to feel out of control (over-emotionality) or vulnerable (well, that's almost the same thing).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,530 Posts
I hate crying in front of ppl. It's showing weakness, an inability to have emotion under control. If I must shed tears, it has to be strategic and serves a purpose to further a cause.

However I don't mind it during weddings and funeral (for ppl that are not directly related to me). I find the occasion very moving. Since there will be others shedding tears I would not feel embarrassed to do so.

I won't see certain movies with ppl because I know I'd weep. I hate that, too. It's letting others see my emotional buttons being pushed.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Du Toit

·
Registered
ISFP
Joined
·
480 Posts
I am also uncomfortable crying in front of others. It is rare that I get the inclination to do so, although once I do it can admittedly be hard to control. I remember a particular instance a few months ago where my friends and I were discussing a bittersweet event that had recently happened in our lives. It was a very feely, sentimental atmosphere, but I resisted the urge to get emotional right up until one of my friends make a particular comment about our situation that moved me to tears in an instant. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. I had never felt tears come so swiftly, and perhaps save for early childhood, I honestly think it was the first time I'd ever gotten truly "bury-my-face-into-my-hands" emotional in public. I am lucky my friends are the comforting type as they would never have handled it as awkwardly as I would have.

I don't necessarily think of crying in public as showing a weakness, although I guess it could depend on what compelled the crying. Especially in my situation, it was more of a bittersweet moment as I mentioned, and I'd say we were more happy than not. I don't really have any major qualms against crying in public; it's just awkward for me more than anything else.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
17,350 Posts
I don't think I welcome it but if it's that kind of moment I suppose I could let it flow, but getting teary isn't something that comes all too often so it's not much of an issue for me.
Maybe if the other person was crying and why they were crying was significant to me in someway i'd be more likely, but outside of that I doubt it'd happen.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
680 Posts
I think it's an Fi thing too, because I know a lot of Fi users who dislike crying in front of other people.

I hate crying in front of other people. I hate when people try to comfort me when I'm crying. I hate when people make a big deal out of it when it's not. I just want to be left alone if I'm crying and when you cry in front of other people that doesn't happen.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,085 Posts
Yes, unless it's like a Halocaust class or TFIOS and we're like expected to cry. Then I'm totally okay with it, and my bawls are by far the loudest.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,309 Posts
Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I was going to tell you "Come with me if you want to live" but fuck ya now, you can die. Ain't protecting you from shit with that attitude.
I read that in a scottish accent.

"BUT FUCK YE NAO, YE CAN DIE."
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
4,124 Posts
To answer the title question: immensely.

I'll sooner distract myself from the need to cry if I think I can't either get somewhere private or it will go unnoticed. I have managed to silent-cry with another person in the room with their back to me. But I avoid letting anyone see me actually cry.

There's something about it that's private, in a way that almost makes it dirty. I read some essay recently that explained how there's apparently a long history of comparing tears to other kinds of excrement - such view is less common today, but I think I can understand where it might come from.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wild
1 - 20 of 46 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top