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I'm curious to see if other Type 1s hold any kind of regret for who they were in the past. I know that we're perfectionists and are often hard on ourselves, and I'm curious to see if that self-scrutiny is still in play when we look at our own pasts.

For a while, I loathed my 15-year-old self for her self-loathing (which is ironic in hindsight) and insecurity, but I've come to accept that my depression shaped who I was back then.
 
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I have always tended to hate my past selves. But I try to think of it like a ladder. You cannot get to the place you are now without the "lower" wrungs.

Or, another way to think of it is as if you have to cross a large body of water. Does it do you any good to look back at the stepping stones behind you with disdain?
 

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I'm curious to see if other Type 1s hold any kind of regret for who they were in the past. I know that we're perfectionists and are often hard on ourselves, and I'm curious to see if that self-scrutiny is still in play when we look at our own pasts.

For a while, I loathed my 15-year-old self for her self-loathing (which is ironic in hindsight) and insecurity, but I've come to accept that my depression shaped who I was back then.
I've pretty much come to your same conclusion, that if I wasn't the way I were back then and I didn't make those mistakes in the past I wouldn't have improved and become better. I do at times look back and scrutinize my past self, but I interrupt my super-ego whenever it does this as Its very counterproductive. I suggest for this scrutiny to be done not out of a position of hate, but rather a position of seeking understanding. This way you build wisdom.
 
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Regret, sometimes yes, sometimes no. When yes is applicable, I sometimes get into the soul of this song:


There have been times that a single memory of my past self could make me feel like the ground underneath me would become a liquid mass of concrete. But those times are over :3 As sung in this song, my past self wouldn't forgive myself. The current & future me always will.
 

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Yes! This is exactly what makes me wonder whether I am a 1 or a 4 at my core. I feel like until I was about 16 I was very 4-ish. Creative, sensitive, and thoughtful, but also overly inward-looking and unproductive. After 16 or 17 I became much more obsessed with morality, more serious, more logical, and more productive, but also more rigid and impatient, and at times can feel that what's driving me to do good in the world is an attempt to justify my existence or feel worthy.

I am 28 now and I like myself much more now. When I think about my younger self, I just want to roll my eyes and yell "snap out of it" back in time. I don't really know whether I became my true self when I became more 1-ish as an adult or if I just turned into a healthy 4.
 
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