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I almost always put my focus on other people. I want to understand them and help them as much as I possibly can but as soon as someone tries to fix me, provide me with advice or help me... I just cringe.

I CRINGE SO BADLY.

I almost take it as an insult that they would think I'm not smart enough or competent enough to help myself or dig myself out of a rut or tough situation. The only person who gets this about me is an ENFP friend of mine who saw me breakdown once, but she knew that all I wanted her to do was shut the hell up, be there and then drop it just as I did once I was through. I appreciated the fact that she didn't baby me or give me that concerned look that I just can't stand.

I also don't like when people come up to me and say "let me help you with that" when I'm carrying something heavy, or when I'm discussing business with a friend and someone says "let me tell you about some of the ideas I have." I stop them and immediately just say "I've got it. Don't worry."

Usually when people try to provide me with advice about anything, I already know it. I've heard it or read it before. I've already thought it through. And most of the time the advice is wrong or destructive. I don't need someone to tell me. It is just frustrating.

Are any other INTP's like this?
 

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if i'm interested in doing something, i would rather learn how to do it myself. after that i don't care if i'm helped
 

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Depends how they try to help. I can understand what you're getting at though.

I'm someone that freely asks people questions if I'm curious or want them to elaborate on some information, so sometimes I just throw away my "pride" and make them tell me all the details of something until my curiosity is satisfied. Or have them tell me things I don't fully understand.

It DOES bother me when I sense they're looking down on me though, and are constantly trying to teach me things because they see me as incompetent. Often they do give me advice on things I've read before I already thought about, so it annoys me that they assume I don't know. I feel babied.

So basically it depends on if the help is wanted, and how they're offering it. If I feel they're looking down on me and thus trying to teach me stuff because they think I'm stupid, it pisses me off. I have had that happen to me and I get very annoyed. If I am genuinely interested in learning something, or if they are genuinely sharing knowledge with me, then I will take all the help I am offered.
 

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I'm a very lazy person, so I'm generally glad with help. If it's something that requires little effort and that would only get more complicated with help I just politely decline the offer, or suggest something else the person could do.

If it's help with something I'm failing at, I might want to try to do it myself for a little while longer, or I admit that I need help so I can learn something.

If someone gives me advice I already know, I make it clear that I already know that advice, maybe demonstrating the level of knowledge I have about the subject so they can give me advice on my level. I don't get mad at someone if they have no way of knowing if I already heard the advice before.
 

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Yes, yes, yes. The worst is when people tell me sth I already know...
Yes, yes and yes again.
If I need advice, I have no problem with asking for it...
 

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I don't need help with anything, my problems are my problems. Now if only I had problems to complain about, no I don't because I solve them instead of asking for help. I actually do have a life problem right now but I'm procrastinating, these lousy tests and exams. I don't feel like finding a code from some paper that I lost.
 

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I'm surprised by these responses. I mean... if you need to get something done and you don't know how to do it then asking for help is the fasted way to get it done. Granted, you @mashedpotato were talking about slightly different scenarios. I can understand not wanting to have someone try to fix you or correct you, but if you are actually in need of help I think it's nice that people ask.
 

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Yes, especially if I didn't demand it.

I become more avoidant of the individual(s) who helped me, until I find it appropriate to loosen that restriction.

The main reason being that I think they're more likely to become more needy, because I suspect them of thinking that I owe them something in return.

I suspect them of exploiting that situation by expecting something in return.
 

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The majority of time I've been given help it's been assumed that I'm inclined to take advantage of it. Probably just due to an unwillingness for people to want to help to begin with. I'm ok with being given help, but since this is so prevalent, I would rather die than ask for help. It's actually probably one of my biggest problem areas. I don't know how to seek help when it's necessary, and I'm very unpracticed at knowing when I do need help.
 
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Usually when people try to provide me with advice about anything, I already know it. I've heard it or read it before. I've already thought it through. And most of the time the advice is wrong or destructive. I don't need someone to tell me. It is just frustrating.
This damn phenomenon annoys me to no end mostly because I know for a fact that I look like a jerk when telling them "I know this already" or "You're half right, it's actually like this". It's mostly the adults (SJs) I interact with that get angry when they get this response from me. They say I'm being a dick for refusing their help when I'm actually either not in need of it or constructively criticizing their recent view on something I know about already. Either this or they simply ignore any critique I give them.

Because clearly they are more experienced and thus smarter by simply being older and a 19 year old should always listen to his elders. /sarcasm

I'm doomed to be a besserwisser I guess.
 

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You demand help? You don't simply ask for it?
I assumed they were synonyms.

Now that I'm informed about the difference between both (contextually), I ask* for help.
 
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Yes. And I feel all the more inadequate for it. There are instances where I realize the virtue of receiving help. But it's almost like, in most cases, I don't know how to receive assistance.
 

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This damn phenomenon annoys me to no end mostly because I know for a fact that I look like a jerk when telling them "I know this already" or "You're half right, it's actually like this". It's mostly the adults (SJs) I interact with that get angry when they get this response from me. They say I'm being a dick for refusing their help when I'm actually either not in need of it or constructively criticizing their recent view on something I know about already. Either this or they simply ignore any critique I give them.

Because clearly they are more experienced and thus smarter by simply being older and a 19 year old should always listen to his elders. /sarcasm

I'm doomed to be a besserwisser I guess.
Ditto. It makes you look antisocial, even though you're not.
 

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Yesterday I was playing DOTA in the easy lane and this mid hero comes up the river and jumps the gun on the gank and gets mad that we couldn't secure the kill. I was all like, "No one asked for a gank, clown, the lane was pushed". smh.

I share this problem with asking for help and feeling uncomfortable receiving help and sometimes mad when help is offered without being solicited. I just tell people not to worry, I got it. Sometimes I don't got it.
 
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