But shouldn't it? Shouldn't being a good parent consist of unconditionally loving and supporting a child no matter what they do? Isn't that exactly what love is? Unconditional love and acceptance of another person and what they value? What is the purpose of bringing a being into this world if you aren't going to love and care for it the best way you know how? Why would you not want to support your child in all ways possible? That is inconceivable to me. I can't imagine procreating and not wanting the absolute best for the being and I can't imagine ever stifling it's identity by trying to force it to change into something that being simply is not. That's not love.
How you define love is not how other people define love. You think that love and support are intrinsically linked. That is your belief. Isn't unfair that you're pushing your beliefs regarding parenting onto your parents?
They are supporting you their way, not your way. What they think is best for you and what you think is the best for you is two different things. They are allowed to think whatever they want and so are you. It doesn't make them right. This is a simple conflict in belief systems. You want them to change their belief system and change who they are for you. Isn't that what INFPs complain about most, other people trying to change them?
I don't really think that's a difference, more then that I don't see how it's not really considered real or authentic support. I support friends all the time even though I may not personally agree with their actions. I will always try to understand them and try to make their lives better, even if I don't agree with the actions that they did. I may not personally feel sorry for them but I will try to make it better. I just don't understand why it is irreconcilable for some people to show others support, love and unconditional acceptance. It makes me feel like I am an alien because I consider these things apart of the very fiber of my being and shockingly it looks like other people don't.
You and I come from different philosophies as far as how relationships work. I never try to make my friends feel better because I can't. You can't make someone happy. The best you can do is distract someone from how unhappy they are. You can't make some make better decisions. You have a very specific definition of support, love and unconditional acceptance. Anyone who doesn't accept your definition of it is therefore unsupportive, doesn't love you and doesn't unconditionally accept you.
I don't think this is even really about values persay. It would be one thing if my mother didn't agree with my political beliefs or something extraneous as that. Quite another for my father to say that he doesn't believe in my spiritual beliefs, what I am talking about here is the responsibility that they (and others) have to other people who are either care givers/providers (parents), friends or other people who just show no appreciation for others. Why is the first course of action to tear someone down rather then build them up? Why do people find it so much easier to criticize and pick a person apart rather then construct something that can help a person in their time of need.
Beliefs are beliefs. They are subjective. They are right for you whether it's political beliefs or spiritual beliefs. There's a difference between not believing in someone's spiritual beliefs and not believing they have a right to have their own spiritual beliefs. You are allowed to have your own beliefs as long as those beliefs don't bring on negative consequences to your parents. It's not fair for your parents to pay the consequences of decisions that you make from your beliefs.
I guess so but that sounds easier said then done. I wouldn't want to completely stop interacting with my parents - they are my parents. I think I should be able to come to them with things and they should be able to help me. But that might not be possible. That's not a great thing to feel however. I certainly don't think it should be this way.
This is the reason I moved out at 19 and stopped talking to my parents for 5 years. They didn't meet my wife until after I was married. I got busy living my life and didn't have time to explain to them why I chose to do it my way and not their way. If you want to live your life, go live it.
That sounds an awful lot like absolving themselves of the situation instead of actually parenting, and trying to find a loophole to distance themselves from the child which if that is true creates quite a horrible light for all parents who think/feel this way.
There's so many different views on parenting and parenting styles so it's hard to define what parenting is. I tend to ask off the wall questions to get people out of their viewpoint.
Here's a different question, when are your parents allowed to die and take everything with them? Say your parents are suffering from this disease that causes them almost unbearable pain. Aliens have given them a phone and will take them away forever to cure them. The aliens have to wipe out all evidence of their existence, including all their assets before they take them. Everyone will think your parents are dead. Children will have to stay on Earth. So the question in this hypothetical, situation, when are your parents allowed to make that call?
Basically, at what point are parents allowed to be done parenting? At 5, at 18.
Here's how parenting is supposed to work. All decisions have consequences. At age 1, your decision to stick something in an electrical socket out of curiosity would have very bad consequences so your parents don't give you the option to make that decision. At age 5, if you make a decision to just eat sweets all the time, would lead to bad consequences so parents don't let you make that decision. Parents take responsibility by limiting the decisions you are allowed to make. As you grow older, they shift more and more responsibility to you and allow you to make more decisions and accept the consequences of your decision. They hold back letting you make decisions they consider extremely detrimental if you make what they consider the wrong decision. Parenting is the gradual handing over of responsibility so when they die, they know you are capable of being responsible for yourself.
Yes, you'd like your parents to hang around forever and take care of you and support you, but eventually that becomes selfish and all you're doing is thinking about yourself and what's best for you and not what's best for them. Just because they're your parents doesn't mean you get to monopolize their time, energy and resources for the rest of their lives.
So if you're parents were in complete and total agony and they want to be able to call those aliens to take them away, and you would have to start from scratch without your parents or their resources, could they make that call today? How long would you make them wait? After college? After you get a good job? After you get married?