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I've always looked up to genuinely selfless people. People who listen instead of talk and people who give instead of take. And they do it willingly, without expecting anything in return. I have always looked up to, but also envied this kind of people. I've always wished I was more like that. I wish I was completely selfless, and that it'd come naturally. I wish I was a better listener, without ever having to force it. I wish could see greatness in absolutely everyone.

But I never feel like I'm as good as I want to be. :( However, I do feel better about that than I did a few years ago. I've become better. But I want to become even better!

Sometimes I fear that I can never become like that. So I want to make up for it by doing selfless acts that speak for themselves. A while ago I donated blood. It made me feel great for a while. Now I'm thinking of becoming a bone marrow transplant. Maybe I feel like I'll never be good enough unless I sacrifice myself for the sake of others.

...Is this normal?

Sorry about the thread creating frenzy btw. I'm on fire! Ahem...
well when I'm the most "good" one around and I'm doing good things while everyone else isn't, I feel pretty good. But there are those times when there's people around who are even more good than I am. Then I feel annoyed that they're taking my spot. Now what am I supposed to do? Be "sort of" good? I think you want to be a saint or be really good so that you can have something you're identified as. your niche. But if you keep donating your body you won't have anything left. T_T It's good to do selfless acts but you still have to make sure self is taken care of. Besides, those selfless people you see, how do you know for sure they are what you think? they could seem selfless but in other ways are lacking. Don't get obsessed with a fantasy way of being because you'll never be good enough. If you really like helping others try doing constructive things like volunteering in other countries (if you can) or just in local places. Maybe gear your career towards something humanitarian so you can help others everyday. ^_^
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