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When I think about respect I think about like grade school when I used to get picked on all the time and it seemed few of my peers in my grade really respected me because I was the quiet polite sensitive kid that was an easy target and didn't want to hurt anyone.

In high school it was a bit different. My fellow peers in my grade all had now gained respect of me because of my accomplishments, activities, and the teacher's sense of being proud for me -- in that they would make it known amongst my peers that they were happy and proud of me, so I think that made an impact by the time HS came about.
Though I still had respect issues with older peers because, well, it was high school and seniors and juniors always want to pick on freshman that are easy targets.
By the time I was a senior I had the respect of my peers and the underclassmen because they seemed to look to me as a role model.

In college, it seems I do but I don't. I've had a few guys I was seeing or dating that really did not seem to. Though I find it ironic that guys seem to have a deep inner desire for respect though they wouldn't do it for me. With some people I guess you just have to put them in their place and tell them to shut up in order to gain some respect (even though that's totally out of my natural character).


So have any other INFJs had trouble getting respect from others? How have you dealt with it? Do you still have those issues? Do you never have those issues?
 

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I was singled out and bullied throughout the entirety of elementary, middle and high school, and by the end of it I knew that nobody had any respect for me and, even worse, I had none for myself.

I continued getting picked on a bit in college, but one day flipped out on an ex-roommate who went too far - I was a hair's breadth away from murdering him on the spot, and he knew it - and since then I've not had any problems with being bullied, really. I feel intimidated by others sometimes, but I don't really show it, I just have an air of not caring. That I'm physically larger than 95% of people helps.

Though, starting in the beginning of college and continuing until now, I've really jut drowned myself in my studies, tweaked my personality (developed a decent sense of humor), etc. etc. People say that they respect me... the trouble is, I'll nod and say thank you and act humble, but deep down I don't believe it, I refuse to believe it. I can't separate myself from the school-time notion that everyone hates me.

Though, in my view, respect is something that is earned and, when you, your career, your state of mind etc. reach a certain state, is something that comes naturally, without you seeking it. Those who seek respect, that demand respect from others, do not deserve it.
 

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I suppose I should consider myself lucky that I wasn't bullied or treated differently like you two, thegirlcandance and zwanglos. I had a very strong foundational group of friends that I hung out with regularly all through my childhood and teens. We always supported and looked out for one another. Respect from my family, friends, and coworkers is something I'm luckily able to enjoy in my life.

In terms of acquaintances and other people I don't know too well? I'm not fawning for their attention or respect. If I have it, that's fine, if not, that's okay as well. I'm not saying it's pointless to have respect from these types of people, but I do think wasting energy worrying about what others think of you is a bit senseless.
 

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I share similar stories when it comes to respect throughout my years in school.

elementary not so good, same with middle school.
very much the target for bullies.
Ironically I have this theory that certain bullies want what we had as kids, even if they didn't know what that "want" entirly was, they desired us, and as mother always said, "they pick on you because they like you."

love is weird huh?

anyway.
I gained respect once I joined the high school theatre community. I found appreciation within an organization that I appreciated. I then received more respect as a senior in high school and having the recognition of younger students in the theatre community.

I still have somewhat that respect but if I don't feel involved and "respect the people around me" I won't receive respect back.
but for me it was always more about respecting the craft that the group of people respected and bonding through a common art-form or hobby. Later gaining respect by my unique mind and how I would express myself bringing something entirely new to the group.

unique humor and unique talent.
usually our creative expression is adored and seen as quite fascinating.
 

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i feel i actually have never had problems gaining respect. i have never been picked on or bullied and i am not big, imposing, dominant, mean-looking, or anything like that. i think there's always been a sense of results speaking for themselves with regard to my accomplishments, intellect, etc. i think people are also a little unsure or even uneasy around me because i am quiet and they aren't sure, at least initially, what to make of me. i think my extraverted feeling has also been a great help to me, and lets me intuitively know what sort of "masks" to put up with strangers to not be pushed around or taken advantage of (as i am extremely sensitive to being taken advantage of), without being dominant or domineering or otherwise far out of line with who i really am.
 

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i feel i actually have never had problems gaining respect. i have never been picked on or bullied and i am not big, imposing, dominant, mean-looking, or anything like that. i think there's always been a sense of results speaking for themselves with regard to my accomplishments, intellect, etc. i think people are also a little unsure or even uneasy around me because i am quiet and they aren't sure, at least initially, what to make of me. i think my extraverted feeling has also been a great help to me, and lets me intuitively know what sort of "masks" to put up with strangers to not be pushed around or taken advantage of (as i am extremely sensitive to being taken advantage of), without being dominant or domineering or otherwise far out of line with who i really am.
I really appreciate this.
I think I am similar to this. especially when you mentioned the mask thing.
 

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I suppose I should consider myself lucky that I wasn't bullied or treated differently like you two, thegirlcandance and zwanglos. I had a very strong foundational group of friends that I hung out with regularly all through my childhood and teens. We always supported and looked out for one another. Respect from my family, friends, and coworkers is something I'm luckily able to enjoy in my life.

In terms of acquaintances and other people I don't know too well? I'm not fawning for their attention or respect. If I have it, that's fine, if not, that's okay as well. I'm not saying it's pointless to have respect from these types of people, but I do think wasting energy worrying about what others think of you is a bit senseless.
It's not necessarily that I'm worrying about what others think of me its just that there are moments where I just simply do not like how I'm being treated or talked to. Which, I guess is really the root of this thread that I started...

Recently I was hanging out with friends and this guy I was seeing a few months ago but not anymore was there because he's a friend of a closer friend of mine (so its not like I can really avoid). I'm pretty positive he's an ESTP by the way he acts and lives his life.
Its just that later today it really sunk in how much he truly disrespects me. Like, last night when we hung out he made some comments that almost kind of hit me to where I felt like that Jr High kid again getting her hair clips ripped out of her hair by some kid because he thought they didn't look right or something.

And I'm pretty sure he'd just be saying such stuff as a power trip for himself.... like, I'd ask for directions to some place and he'd talk to me like I was a total idiot with the attitude of "how the hell do you not know where that is?". I know there's been a few times where he made comments to me and I would immediately say "you don't talk to me that way" and he'd shut up with no further discussion, but I noticed some still slips through.

The part that makes me confirm that he's just on a power trip of disrespect over me is because I'll mention something and he'll have the attitude/response that it's totally stupid but then a few days later he'll bring up a similar topic himself in the same exact way.

So odd.... its sad that people still don't grow up after high school and still desire to have a power trip over people they date or were seeing or were friends with or whatever.... and its only because on some inner level they know that that person can get to them somehow, because why else would they do it?



i feel i actually have never had problems gaining respect. i have never been picked on or bullied and i am not big, imposing, dominant, mean-looking, or anything like that. i think there's always been a sense of results speaking for themselves with regard to my accomplishments, intellect, etc. i think people are also a little unsure or even uneasy around me because i am quiet and they aren't sure, at least initially, what to make of me. i think my extraverted feeling has also been a great help to me, and lets me intuitively know what sort of "masks" to put up with strangers to not be pushed around or taken advantage of (as i am extremely sensitive to being taken advantage of), without being dominant or domineering or otherwise far out of line with who i really am.
What do you mean by "masks"?? Guess I'm just a bit unsure about that one...



That all being said, I went to grade school and high school with a fellow INFJ and I don't recall her ever being picked on as much as I did during school and I have no idea why. Maybe I'm wrong and she did and I'm just not aware of it, but for some reason I would seem to get the criticism and crap while she would manage to avoid it somehow.
Maybe its because she was so into her books that she didn't have to deal with enough people to have issues....... :dry: I don't know.
 
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I think maybe I had not gone through a lot of trouble in grade school because I was practically a mute. It was only in the end of high school when I started to make more friends and talk more, that it began. People start to know who you are, what your grades are, etc.
My older brother was also popular, and so were some people who were my friends during childhood.. so maybe they gave me some good reputation I didn't know about. I never talked with them. The other thing is that I notice the people in my classes always got the highest marks and all were well-mannered, and I have them consistently in my classes except the first year. The classes were never labelled, they were just basic like everyone else's. It's in the yearbook I find how many other people were actually in my grade.

College is where the chaos picks up the pace for me. But I don't think it has anything to do with respect... I seriously feel like there is something wrong with other people. It's really suspicious, the way they act and seem to be completely unable to think. I've heard stories about people like these throughout the forums, but this is the first time I really meet them and they are everybody in my class, the teachers including (except maybe two or three).
I had a couple of students running around, telling people I don't speak with them.. It had maybe only been two weeks till this started. They were demanding attention. I didn't see it coming at all, and I don't get how they couldn't have just come up to me and say something. They took it like I was ignoring them, I did nothing to them. So in the end, I did push myself to have some small talk with them but by then, everybody was infected, including the second-year students and teachers, and everyone hated me (O_O). I couldn't really fight back, there were already too many and so aggressive. I still can't believe I had the strength to last through the whole program.

I'm pretty sure the main culprits were psychopaths based on what I've read about them, but I'm not even really angry at them, it's how everybody else reacted.. Anyway I learned a lot about myself those years because of so much stress, and I am glad where it has taken me. I am pretty sure I'll retire this year :p
 

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And I'm pretty sure he'd just be saying such stuff as a power trip for himself.... like, I'd ask for directions to some place and he'd talk to me like I was a total idiot with the attitude of "how the hell do you not know where that is?". I know there's been a few times where he made comments to me and I would immediately say "you don't talk to me that way" and he'd shut up with no further discussion, but I noticed some still slips through.

The part that makes me confirm that he's just on a power trip of disrespect over me is because I'll mention something and he'll have the attitude/response that it's totally stupid but then a few days later he'll bring up a similar topic himself in the same exact way.
Actually you described it this way that I believe I had a similar situation going with an older guy (well 10 years older). At the end I figured he was feeling threatened by me. There was an incident where he proposed a project but it wasn't very realistic and fell through. And a month later I had an idea and a more realistic proposal and that was what we ended up adopting. After that it was like he was living for the moments that he could put me down somehow. I was surprised at first and let it get to me, but we INFJs try to seek motivation to all people's behavior so since his put-downs started around same mark (he was actually relatively nice to me before albeit a bit condescending) I assumed he didn't like that his project didn't work and mine did. After realizing that I relaxed and just thought it was really immature of him, tbh I even had a chuckle to myself. Are you interacting with this guy at work/school or informally?

Personally I would not interact with people like that but if you have to, well, the guy that was doing it to me finally stopped, after like 9 months of it. In my case he just wanted to tip me out of balance with his comments as a sort of a power play. I acted cold like I was disinterested in his comments, tried to display no emotion, and a couple of times countered him but in a very polite way (anger is an emotion after all). He lost interest in this over time. But imho the more cold approach like you don't really care is best. In my case he was hoping for a reaction, so no reaction or cold reaction made it less interesting for him. Of course it might be something else too with your guy.
 

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Ohh I was just talking about this very subject with my Mother the other day.
I do feel that i have a hard time getting anyone to respect me or take me seriously in certain areas of my life.
I was trying to work out the reasons for this in a brainstorming session with my mom.
I have not been bullied, although my kind and polite nature is routinely taken advantage of, but I've found that school, and work were'nt the places I had problems with. Its my relationships with people where I feel not listened to, and not heard.
My family seem to think of me as the eternal 'baby' of the family.. although im 40 now.
My mom and I came to the conclusion that because ive never been married, or lived with anyone, or had children, that peoples traditional views see me as still somewhat of a child myself. That I havent really went through the rites of passage, 'marriage' and 'children' to become a true 'adult' and therefore not worthy of respect or listening to.
This may be sort of unconscious on the part of others,.. but it definately does happen to me.
Its the same for relationships.
Unless you've had a few disasters, been married, had a few live in relationships, had kids, been divorced or broke up from a LTR, I've found men dont take me seriously either. Theres a serious lack of respect in how they have treated me. Its like unless I become totally hard ass with them, they will push and push until I snap and set some real hard boundaries, which usually result in them choosing to leave, with a few choice words which they fling at me over their back as they disappear into the sunset. It baffles me how I cant seem to get the normal everday amount of respect afforded to my age similar women peers in this respect. I honestly dont know why this happens to me. I'm obviously helping to set up that dynamic,although how, is a mystery, because Im pretty sure I dont act 'soft' or compliant'. Its something they obviously sense in me,.. a weakness, that they feel i have. A weakness to be exploited. Maybe its Fe they can see, and choose to exploit that every time. Again, its like until these 'been married, had kids' adult 'rites of passage' have happened, you are not worthy of serious consideration as a partner. Anything that looks like relationship naivety, or idealism, will not be taken seriously by the more jaded types. As most guys have been there, done that, I can only imagine that I must look like a bit of charmingly naive fluff, something which they may while away a few moments with, but not worthy of 'serious relationship' status.
This has caused me the most problems. It serously pisses me off, leading to me becoming irritated, and seemingly confirming their suspicions that Im some sort of child/woman. Its a self fulfilling prophecy, a catch 22,something in which i cant bloody win.
I do feel like Ive been invisible , and not listened to for most of my life, and Im just starting to find my voice now. Sometimes, I overdo the assertiveness now, because I'm new to trying to speak up for myself, and I can overdo it, I'm still trying to find the balance.
Strangely though, in an emotional crisis or real emergency, people rely on me and hang on my every word, so I suppose in some things, I am taken seriously.
G. x
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I think maybe I had not gone through a lot of trouble in grade school because I was practically a mute. It was only in the end of high school when I started to make more friends and talk more, that it began. People start to know who you are, what your grades are, etc.
My older brother was also popular, and so were some people who were my friends during childhood.. so maybe they gave me some good reputation I didn't know about. I never talked with them. The other thing is that I notice the people in my classes always got the highest marks and all were well-mannered, and I have them consistently in my classes except the first year. The classes were never labelled, they were just basic like everyone else's. It's in the yearbook I find how many other people were actually in my grade.

College is where the chaos picks up the pace for me. But I don't think it has anything to do with respect... I seriously feel like there is something wrong with other people. It's really suspicious, the way they act and seem to be completely unable to think. I've heard stories about people like these throughout the forums, but this is the first time I really meet them and they are everybody in my class, the teachers including (except maybe two or three).
I had a couple of students running around, telling people I don't speak with them.. It had maybe only been two weeks till this started. They were demanding attention. I didn't see it coming at all, and I don't get how they couldn't have just come up to me and say something. They took it like I was ignoring them, I did nothing to them. So in the end, I did push myself to have some small talk with them but by then, everybody was infected, including the second-year students and teachers, and everyone hated me (O_O). I couldn't really fight back, there were already too many and so aggressive. I still can't believe I had the strength to last through the whole program.

I'm pretty sure the main culprits were psychopaths based on what I've read about them, but I'm not even really angry at them, it's how everybody else reacted.. Anyway I learned a lot about myself those years because of so much stress, and I am glad where it has taken me. I am pretty sure I'll retire this year :p
This kind of sounds like what I dealt with in college when I was in a sorority (which I would never recommend for an INFJ ever).

Basically the executive board would criticize the way I did things for my chair position and then always be trying to tell me how I had to make more friends within the sorority. Coincidentally, the semester that I was being heavily picked on was the same semester that another girl who tested INFJ was also being picked on a lot (though I can't confirm that she is INFJ cause it was just a short test... but I'm sure she's not far off -- just a more outgoing INFJ, perhaps)

It just really sucks having an officer position when the president is an ESFJ who needed to be in control of everything that went on and then would freak out all stressed about it (and that's not to say all ESFJ's are like that, but this one was).


Oh, and I've hardly ever had a problem with a teacher disrespecting me... I'd have peers that did not but the teachers always did, whether I got the good grade or not.
I can maybe think of one that did not but she was a PE teacher so it didn't make much difference... she was just one of those people that like the trouble maker kids more and would give the "goody-two-shoes" kids a hard time.
 
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What do you mean by "masks"?? Guess I'm just a bit unsure about that one...
by masks i mean ways to conceal what i feel were (and are) vulnerabilities that, if picked up on by the wrong sort of person, might leave me open to being hurt in some way. with most people i almost instinctively know that there is a limit to what i can reveal about myself to them, or what sides of myself i can show to them. i guess in some respects that makes me a little misleading but i don't usually act in ways that are out of line with who i am -- it is just that the connection in most of my relationships can't ever really be that deep because in these i never feel that sense of safety that lets me know it is ok to express ALL of who i am.
 

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So have any other INFJs had trouble getting respect from others? How have you dealt with it? Do you still have those issues? Do you never have those issues?
I was harassed in grade school and junior high - you know, "boy code" versus male INFJ stuff. As I learned to hide that away only for those close to me, that gradually slowed to a stop.

For the last dozen years, however, I've worked in a fairly stressful industry as an IT guy. The majority of people in the industry are ESxx types, and have a hard time with me (or anyone) being an INxx type. They want to communicate immediately at nearly any time about any perceived issue, or take 10 minutes to ramble about what they want to do without a clear way to get there. They then get frustrated because I need to sit and think on things for awhile before I give my answer - especially when it involves changes to multiple processes and systems. I also don't socialize enough with them (pot lucks, "team building exercises," mass drinks after work, etc.), so I catch flak for that as well. I've also found out the hard way that any personal details I care to share are immediately spread throughout the company, so I don't "just talk" with people there as much as I used to.

As far as respect, they seem to respect my knowledge, but not my boundaries as a person, if that makes sense.
 

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In school I can remember 3 bullies of mine and they were during middle school (2) and high school (1). It always seems to end with a clash with them or with other bullies hurting someone else that I stood up for; I don’t know why talking to them or reasoning with them never works and I end up having to defend myself. But with them it was not about disrespect exactly they were lashing out at me for problems of their own and I was the very quiet type (also small in size so perceived as an easy pick).

During university and work I never had bullies I got along well with everybody of my peers or bosses and never felt disrespected even though I knew they thought I was very reserved and aloof.

The only incident I can remember where I was disrespected by peers were two girls I was hanging out with made fun of me for caring about my family and not just thinking about myself regardless of how it affects my family. At that moment in time I wondered “what the heck am I doing with these people?” It hit me to the core because they asked me to be selfish and belittled me for not doing the same they did. I answered I would never disregard my family that way and was answered it was my loss. :dry:

I noticed I have been more vocal about any criticism I get (ones that just put you down or a complaint type) I almost always have an answer to give back if it wasn’t constructive criticism which I can take. I did it today with my brother and sister who were criticizing my behavior of reading too much on the internet and I heard them so I called out “are you talking about ME?!” They were like “umm yeah” and remained quiet and didn’t answer me when I asked them to elaborate. I can’t take such criticism anymore and just give some back.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
by masks i mean ways to conceal what i feel were (and are) vulnerabilities that, if picked up on by the wrong sort of person, might leave me open to being hurt in some way. with most people i almost instinctively know that there is a limit to what i can reveal about myself to them, or what sides of myself i can show to them. i guess in some respects that makes me a little misleading but i don't usually act in ways that are out of line with who i am -- it is just that the connection in most of my relationships can't ever really be that deep because in these i never feel that sense of safety that lets me know it is ok to express ALL of who i am.
Well yeah I get that -- "act like you don't care about what they say, and they'll leave you alone" it doesn't always seem to work for me though. Certain people it does and then others its like they just keep it up even if I ignore it.... maybe because they figure it can still give them a sense of superiority if I don't flat out tell them to shut up.

And a lot of times I can sense what is okay to say to others, but I guess sometimes I give the person the benefit of a doubt and hope they'll be more accepting than they really are. Guess that kind of links to this idea that I keep developing with age to not be as judgmental of people. Its a bit challenging because in one regard you can know and understand the person's "knapsack" but that doesn't mean they'll appreciate you.
 
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This kind of sounds like what I dealt with in college when I was in a sorority (which I would never recommend for an INFJ ever).

Basically the executive board would criticize the way I did things for my chair position and then always be trying to tell me how I had to make more friends within the sorority. Coincidentally, the semester that I was being heavily picked on was the same semester that another girl who tested INFJ was also being picked on a lot (though I can't confirm that she is INFJ cause it was just a short test... but I'm sure she's not far off -- just a more outgoing INFJ, perhaps)

It just really sucks having an officer position when the president is an ESFJ who needed to be in control of everything that went on and then would freak out all stressed about it (and that's not to say all ESFJ's are like that, but this one was).


Oh, and I've hardly ever had a problem with a teacher disrespecting me... I'd have peers that did not but the teachers always did, whether I got the good grade or not.
I can maybe think of one that did not but she was a PE teacher so it didn't make much difference... she was just one of those people that like the trouble maker kids more and would give the "goody-two-shoes" kids a hard time.
yeah :laughing: I was basically in a sorority. Same faces all the time, and me as the only non-female

I was thinking it must be harder to mature, for ESxJ or ESxP.. They aren't really introspective, so it makes me think how can they move forward or make sensible decisions. They don't take the time to analyze or even have the patience for it, and their views are already set. And not only that, but they're so quick to anger. I think especially in working with people, it's important to remain flexible in thinking, and able to see and imagine possibilities..A slower approach is probably better. I know these types can't all be this bad because I haven't met all of them to know, but I wouldn't be surprised if most of them are like this. How can there be a 'healthy SJ' when a huge flaw is built right into the personality.

It's funny because at the last semester, I finally wrote a letter to the head of the department (I tried to tell her in person, but I couldn't stop sobbing LOL). My whole letter was pretty much in N language :crazy: Figurative, have to read between the lines.. I was thinking at the time that I would like them to see their mistakes in how they managed the students, that they would connect what I was saying.. but that was definitely a fail. I didn't know MBTI then. If I had anyone on my side, it would be my ENFJ teacher and I remember she also speaks in that language, she was always hinting things while she was teaching.. If I could go back, I'd tell her her other students probably don't get it.
 

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yeah :laughing: I was basically in a sorority. Same faces all the time, and me as the only non-female

I was thinking it must be harder to mature, for ESxJ or ESxP.. They aren't really introspective, so it makes me think how can they move forward or make sensible decisions. They don't take the time to analyze or even have the patience for it, and their views are already set. And not only that, but they're so quick to anger. I think especially in working with people, it's important to remain flexible in thinking, and able to see and imagine possibilities..A slower approach is probably better. I know these types can't all be this bad because I haven't met all of them to know, but I wouldn't be surprised if most of them are like this. How can there be a 'healthy SJ' when a huge flaw is built right into the personality.

It's funny because at the last semester, I finally wrote a letter to the head of the department (I tried to tell her in person, but I couldn't stop sobbing LOL). My whole letter was pretty much in N language :crazy: Figurative, have to read between the lines.. I was thinking at the time that I would like them to see their mistakes in how they managed the students, that they would connect what I was saying.. but that was definitely a fail. I didn't know MBTI then. If I had anyone on my side, it would be my ENFJ teacher and I remember she also speaks in that language, she was always hinting things while she was teaching.. If I could go back, I'd tell her her other students probably don't get it.

It was always a big headache because an issue would come up and I'd have the perfect idea in order to "hurdle the obstacle" rather than completely change plans, but they'd come up and tell me its too unrealistic. Then I'd argue that the idea their taking doesn't make any logical sense when you look at the big picture.
Then they'd go off and do things regarding my position without telling me about it.... or I'd call one to ask for their opinion and they'd tell me one thing and then during the meeting they'd have a completely different view. Definitely wasn't respected at all because they wouldn't even think of considering my idea, instead they'd just ignore it and take control of it themselves. So close minded, aghh.

It was all just a bunch of BS really... I don't even like to remember it.

But yeah, I'd bet money that if I had all the girls in that sorority at that time take the MBTI like 90% of them would be SJs with maybe a couple SPs and then the two lone INFJs that'd get crapped on because the SJs would figure "we weren't doing our jobs or wanted our jobs" when we were truly trying to work our asses off.
 
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As an ENTP I can relate to this. During middle and high school, I was really shy but always wanted to be a part of the popular crowd. Being shy and running around with a bunch of alpha fe/males, my opinions were never taken into consideration and I would be the butt of somebody's joke a lot of the time. In college, my weird and big picture thinking came to being my advantage as I majored in engineering and later on in business. Learning about Myers-Briggs and other areas ofself-improvement psychology has definitely helped me in finding my strengths and helping me voice my strengths to others. At 26 years old I definitely hold a "command presence" and when someone doesn't listen to my opinion, they are someone who doesn't know me, and end up being corrected by someone that does know me.

I believe that if you tell people your interest in areas such as self improvement, and explain to them your strengths and back it up with research, they will listen to you more.

I also team up with people who are strong in my weaknesses and I strong in their weaknesses. Two people debating an issue together give a whole lot more insight and are much more convincing than just one. Always seek alliances. Always.

I also saw someone post that their coworkers got upset that it takes too long for them to respond for an opinion. Try not to let anyone rush your thought process. Instead, say something similar to the following: "I understand that you want an answer right away but I feel this needs more thought, not because of its complexity but because I value your input. I want to give you sound advice that you can rely upon. Now if you want something for just right now, I can give you an immediate hunch, but you'll definitely get a more informative opinion if you come back later."
This is how you display your introspection as a strength and something to be valued by those around you. Don't be afraid to use it.:wink:
 

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Interesting thread. I didn't really get bullied much in school, but in my adult life I think that sometimes I haven't gotten respect simply because I'm overly cautious about offending anyone by speaking my opinion - too 'nice'. I think we infjs also don't go out of our way to draw attention to ourselves, and there is a kind of invisibility we carry around in large communities. It is one of my pet peeves - I'll see someone at an event that I've met several times and when I talk with them they get the 'deer in the headlights' look, as if they've never seen me before. ARRGGGH!
 
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