[Pacifique]

when i meet other people my security really easily falls apart because i'm trying to hold onto certain emotions that are neccessary for my work and so on but i find people colouring my emotions or locus of control too easily.. usually families or people in similar groups or of same nationality or something.. i can't stand people for example when other people, without knowing me at all, really write out the rest of the scenarios about my life (this happens so often in korea) or really colouring my emotions in everything that they do or say mostly in negative manners! it feels like my individuality or sense of control keep being sucked out when i have to deal with people

when i am more confident i resist this internally more easily but when i am exhausted or when things are complicated i find myself more susceptible to being coloured by other people around me :-0 how do you effectively avoid that from happening without resisting it so much without compromising your emotional state at all?

 

[clem]

That's pretty amazing that you can absorb other people's feelings and emotions and allow them to affect you. I have the opposite problem. I have difficulty getting the general feel of the environment. I wish I could be able to become sensitive like you on the occasions that I need to, I would offend a lot less people that way.

 

[lavendersnow]

I don't know if I'm understanding you 100% - but yes I do absorb others emotions and yes I have to try and separate myself. Being very strict with my thought processing and ask myself, "Whose emotion is this? Is this mine or theirs? If it is theirs, throw it out."

This doesn't work if I've already absorbed it before I was able to catch it. It's like catching a smell. If someone tells you they're going to spray a perfume in the room, you can leave before they do it or at least be mentally prepared for the emotions it will make you experience. If they don't warn me, I will smell it first and feel I can't separate myself from the scent.

Feeling the emotions in any given room is pretty easy and involuntary to me - it is exhausting.

 

[odinthor]

I don't know if I'm understanding you 100% - but yes I do absorb others emotions and yes I have to try and separate myself. Being very strict with my thought processing and ask myself, "Whose emotion is this? Is this mine or theirs? If it is theirs, throw it out."

This doesn't work if I've already absorbed it before I was able to catch it. It's like catching a smell. If someone tells you they're going to spray a perfume in the room, you can leave before they do it or at least be mentally prepared for the emotions it will make you experience. If they don't warn me, I will smell it first and feel I can't separate myself from the scent.

Feeling the emotions in any given room is pretty easy and involuntary to me - it is exhausting.

Yes, definitely; but it can have the charm of going to a costume party and being all the guests. Just not too often please.

 

[atamagasuita]

Always remember this:

 

[atamagasuita]

Me, i can also see or empathize other people's emotions but i sometimes just ignore it and see it as a normal human tendencies

 

[lavendersnow]

Yes, definitely; but it can have the charm of going to a costume party and being all the guests. Just not too often please.

LOL I bloody wish I saw it that way.

 

[BigApplePi]

Sorry but I'm an INTP = Ti Ne Si Fe, not an INFJ = Ni Fe Ti Se. I find this a great question: do you ever sense your emotions being coloured by others?

I know what my own emotions are (Fi if they were conscious) but I tend to ignore them. I use my head over my heart (tell you why later ... maybe), but I am very aware of other's emotions and their implied judgments. It's just that although I'm aware I tend not to know what to do with them because of that Ti priority that is in me. I feel the other person's emotion ... the pressure but generally don't react to that. It makes a difference whether their feeling is directed toward me or someone/ something else. I certainly can be more objective if it's not toward me.

Just the other day I encountered someone I believe was an ISTP. Normally I don't interact with S people because I like to talk N possibilities, but in this case he was aiming at me. I was a little alarmed because at first ignoring him meant I was evading what he was saying. My Ti wanted to address his content but his manner (Fe) tended to be most tactless (if one is sensitive to this and I can tolerate a modest amount). I ignored this but feared calling him on this as it could cause trouble. I did take him on and after being as tactful as I could managed to say to him we were getting nowhere but didn't try hard to say why. My reason was because he was refusing stubbornly to go into any analysis of intuitive meanings. My Ti wanted to understand his position as he could have had a good point. My conclusion today is this S person (Se) just doesn't care to think broadly. They can prefer to love their own opinions. So be it.

I hope this is an example of the arousal of my emotions by others. Normally I wouldn't speak feelings at all except on an Fe thread.

 

[Snowflake Minuet]

Yes, I often find my own emotional state to be altered by those of the people I'm spending time. The closer I am to a person, the more true this is; I'm guessing that's because the more connected I feel to the person the less I'm even capable of putting up any sort of emotional barrier--with people I don't know so well, I can sometimes feel I do that to some degree. But even if I was independently having a wonderful day all around and then I spent time with someone who was a bit down, I would inevitably become more depressed myself.

 

[TalNFJ]

I've been told it's in INFJ trait but I haven't been feeling it very strongly, well if anything most of the people I meet seem to be more outgoing and fun than me so I absorb that kind of attitude which is great

 

[Pottsy]

yes , I get very angry at what I and others perceive to be injustice

 

[Crimson Ash]

Yes, I often find my own emotional state to be altered by those of the people I'm spending time. The closer I am to a person, the more true this is; I'm guessing that's because the more connected I feel to the person the less I'm even capable of putting up any sort of emotional barrier--with people I don't know so well, I can sometimes feel I do that to some degree. But even if I was independently having a wonderful day all around and then I spent time with someone who was a bit down, I would inevitably become more depressed myself.

^This

I've had the unfortunate experience of having to re-erect my emotional barriers around certain people I was close to just because they don't seek self development in a broader personality sense and consistently are plagued with neuroticism that cripples me if I were to have my guard down around them.

 

[BenjiMac]

Based on what i've read, and what I've experienced - INFJ are the lesser of the two more empathic types. And I can accept that analysis - I've never been one to 'absorb' another's feeling. I can be disturbed by another's emotions - which is to say I don't feel what they feel, but the fact they are unhappy/angry prevents me from relaxing.

Michael Pierce covered the topic pretty well in his types revisted videos. Here's an excerpt from his analysis that may strike a chord with some here :-

"The INFP seeks to empathize by "modeling" the feelings of another person for themselves (a reversal of what Jung called "sympathetic parallelism"). They are actually trying to feel and value as the other feels and values. The INFJ, however, sympathizes by modeling (via Ti) the circumstances or necessities that they perceive (via Ni) would generate the other person's feelings, and then apply those circumstances to themselves. The INFP is built to understand intimately what another actually feels, while the INFJ is built to understand deeply and intricately why another feels that way. The INFP personality is thus more naturally empathic, acting as a personal therapist, while the INFJ personality is more removed, acting as a personal psychologist, but both still feel very deeply for other people. It's just that the INFJ's method is to dispassionately understand people; their passion generally comes more into play as a sense of injustice against those who created such horrible circumstances for the sufferer, and a desire for things to be set right by their Ti system."

 

[Jeffrei]

Not an INFJ (at least I'm pretty sure I'm not (nothing is for sure anymore)), but heck yeah! There are plenty of times where I have a conversation that I've had before with another person and I realize that the emotions I'm feeling are different. It seems like I display the emotion that I think they are expecting me to feel. It's really weird. Not sure what to think about it.

 

[clem]

I don't know if I'm understanding you 100% - but yes I do absorb others emotions and yes I have to try and separate myself. Being very strict with my thought processing and ask myself, "Whose emotion is this? Is this mine or theirs? If it is theirs, throw it out."

This doesn't work if I've already absorbed it before I was able to catch it. It's like catching a smell. If someone tells you they're going to spray a perfume in the room, you can leave before they do it or at least be mentally prepared for the emotions it will make you experience. If they don't warn me, I will smell it first and feel I can't separate myself from the scent.

Feeling the emotions in any given room is pretty easy and involuntary to me - it is exhausting.

Just have to say that is pretty amazing what you all have. I'm not sure if it is a blessing or curse. I have been fascinated by that capability ever since I was in high school. I sometimes try to feel what other's are feeling, and be empathic. It helps when I am calm, relaxed and thinking about the wonderful warmth of my empathic friends. Then sometimes it turns on for about 5-20 seconds and its like wow, magical, like esp mind reading. Feeling deep love between people like strangers has made me a kinder more loving person. So thanks for sharing. I think its really amazing what you have. I really cherish having that experience once every few years for a few seconds. But if it never turns off, what if you get overloaded? Can you do something that shuts it off? Maybe go to sleep?

 

[L P]

How the f**k do INFjs literally catch other peoples emotions like some kind of contagious contaminant in the air? It is so strange to me it's fascinating. I'd like to feel the phenomenon at least once. I think it might match how my Fi gets punched in the gut when someone else gets hurt, but how does your Fe do that? I ask with a mixture of envy and curiosity of this super power-like ability.

 

[Kirjuri]

How the f**k do INFjs literally catch other peoples emotions like some kind of contagious contaminant in the air? It is so strange to me it's fascinating. I'd like to feel the phenomenon at least once. I think it might match how my Fi gets punched in the gut when someone else gets hurt, but how does your Fe do that? I ask with a mixture of envy and curiosity of this super power-like ability.

Ni is very sensitive to changes in the environment. It automatically generates a ripple through the whole mind when something is different than usual. The mind goes into a state of alertness, the intensity varying with how much things are perceived to be off. When it's coupled with Fe, it feels changes in the environment, in people. It is instantaneous and comes before conscious knowledge.

 

[L P]

Based on what i've read, and what I've experienced - INFJ are the lesser of the two more empathic types. And I can accept that analysis - I've never been one to 'absorb' another's feeling. I can be disturbed by another's emotions - which is to say I don't feel what they feel, but the fact they are unhappy/angry prevents me from relaxing.

Michael Pierce covered the topic pretty well in his types revisted videos. Here's an excerpt from his analysis that may strike a chord with some here :-

"The INFP seeks to empathize by "modeling" the feelings of another person for themselves (a reversal of what Jung called "sympathetic parallelism"). They are actually trying to feel and value as the other feels and values. The INFJ, however, sympathizes by modeling (via Ti) the circumstances or necessities that they perceive (via Ni) would generate the other person's feelings, and then apply those circumstances to themselves. The INFP is built to understand intimately what another actually feels, while the INFJ is built to understand deeply and intricately why another feels that way. The INFP personality is thus more naturally empathic, acting as a personal therapist, while the INFJ personality is more removed, acting as a personal psychologist, but both still feel very deeply for other people. It's just that the INFJ's method is to dispassionately understand people; their passion generally comes more into play as a sense of injustice against those who created such horrible circumstances for the sufferer, and a desire for things to be set right by their Ti system."

Ok this answered my question, even about my own process. Yes as an INFP I think " If I cared about that, that would hurt/delight me" So my Ne leaves room for me to think about the possibility if I was this person and cared about this certain thing and how it would affect me, then I feel the emotion, and it may not be their exact emotion, it's more like my own hurt or joy for that person.

 

[L P]

Ni is very sensitive to changes in the environment. It automatically generates a ripple through the whole mind when something is different than usual. The mind goes into a state of alertness, the intensity varying with how much things are perceived to be off. When it's coupled with Fe, it feels changes in the environment, in people. It is instantaneous and comes before conscious knowledge.

I actually understand this, I think Fi and Ne work similar.

Ne predicts a pattern:

I say joke > Person laughs

so if this pattern turns out different Ne picks up on it:

I say joke > Person doesn't laugh - (Ne questions what broke the pattern)

Ne goes into multiple choice mode with a few answers to choose to explain the reason the pattern turned out differently

Either:

A. Person didn't find joke funny

B. Person doesn't like jokes

C. Person is offended

In order to choose an answer body language is taken into consideration so we examine and see if:

A. Person looks confused

B. Person looks unammused

C. Person looks angry/uncomfortable

Based on this answer we apply our choices to the pattern.

I say joke > Person doesn't laugh> Person looks angry/uncomfortable > Person is offended

Once we have come to explain why the patterne yielded the result it did we search through a library of emotions we have felt before in our life and assign the emotion that is associated with the result.

Emotions associated with being offended:

hurt from being misunderstood, anger from oversimplifying matters you are passionate about, etc

and now the pattern has given us an emotional result:

I say joke> Person didn't laugh> Person looks angry/uncomfortable> Person is offended> Person feels hurt and anger

And the only way to get that emotional result is the feel the emotions ourselves, and so now we feel hurt/angry on top of guilt for causing this person to feel hurt and anger.

And all this happens at rapid speed under the surface without any conscious effort.

And it isn't always 100% accurate since it's a matter of assumption but it does have a high accuracy rate.

I hope this was as fun to read as it was to write lol.

 

[Kirjuri]

I say joke> Person didn't laugh> Person looks angry/uncomfortable> Person is offended> Person feels hurt and anger

For me that might be...

I say joke > Person feels hurt and anger > Wait how the hell do I know that > Do I know that > He looked like it for like 1 second but now he's got his cool face on > Fascinating how people hide their reactions > Okay I've finished the joke and they aren't laughing > Was my joke bad or are they just inferior plebs?