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Ok, so, I'm not really clear on my type, I am definitely in the withdrawn variety, so I could be a 4...

I want to know do 4 people feel fake? I personally feel like all my emotions are not real, like I'm an actress or something, I feel sad a lot, but there's also this 'feeling' or , I don't know, a voice, in my head (not to be taken literally) that's saying 'c'mon, you're not that deep, you think you're special, unique? you're just a shitty poseur'

Also, about art. I sometimes want to be a writer, sometimes a dancer. But it's more like, an image of me, when I actually need to write something, and I start doing it-it's like 'what are you doing? you're such a fake. there are real artists in the world, people with genuine talent, deep emotions and beautiful souls, don't waste your time on this, do something useful for a change, go wash the dishes or something, that's what you're really good at'.

Is this something you experience, or do you know someone who thinks like this, someone of another type maybe (I'm not saying I'm a four)? I still don't have a clue on my type. I try on all types for a while, but they just don't fit.
 

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Personally, this sounds very 3w4/4w3 to me. I don't exactly experience what you have articulated in the OP, but I have seen a Tom Condon video (I think!?.. yup, found it) about how people in the image triad lose their emotional genuineness. You stop feeling anything yourself, and you feel instead what others feel or a dislocated feeling derived from your role/image.

 

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yes, an emotional disconnect is caused on a semi-regular basis due to my high level of awareness, idealism, and stifling of my thoughts and opinions to cater to the surrounding mood - it creates a weigh on my chest that needs to be discharged - likely to put me in a depressive state.
 

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Yes, but even these depressive states that 'weigh' on you, as you say, is there a part of you that thinks that you're full of shit, it's just an excuse to not get up early in the morning, not being able to find a job, even though you're highly qualified etc...
 

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Personally, this sounds very 3w4/4w3 to me. I don't exactly experience what you have articulated in the OP, but I have seen a Tom Condon video (I think!?.. yup, found it) about how people in the image triad lose their emotional genuineness. You stop feeling anything yourself, and you feel instead what others feel or a dislocated feeling derived from your role/image.

YouTube - The Dynamic Enneagram - Tom Condon on Twos, Threes, Fours
Oh wow. I've seen this video today, and this guy is describing me. I remember being on one those roallercosters where everybody' screaming, yelling, laughing histerically, and I would be analyzing my fear, the fact that I'm not screaming and how proud my dad would be if he could see me being so in control.

Thanks a lot for posting this. At least now I know I'm not a 9, and definitely feel like my basic issues are with self-image.
 
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