I never thought about it before, but now that I do, I realize I am alot like a counselor. I always am drawn to people who are hurt, embittered or unloved and I try to heal them, listen to them, love them.
I love people...as in I want to help everyone.
With people who open up to me, I have been like a counselor. I also understand being drawn to people that are hurt, even as a kid I was drawn to someone I felt like was hurting or needed someone to talk to.
I do. Counseling is just a part of who I am. It's natural for me to want to get people in a state they can deal. Like, I physically HAVE to otherwise I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I can't feel all their negative energy and not do anything.
I've only seen "the protectors" a few places, but that really fits too. I'm always trying to protect people or defend them or what have you... even in little things. From people bitching about someone who doesn't deserve it to physically feeling like I need to protect someone at a given time.
Which can backfire on me. My stepdad calls me a flypaper for freaks.
But half the time I'm convinced I'm one too. Why discriminate.
This is particularly funny because my mother tends to joke that my friends and close acquaintances need to make appointments with me!
Counseling is absolutely an essence thing, a part of myself and a part of my inner language. I tend to do my best thinking and express my future-oriented, humanist aspects when advising someone else, even if their grievances are small or they need someone to run their thoughts and feelings by. My mind tunes into a different channel and I'm right there with the other person! I too have my days where I feel sluggish and insignificant but for some reason, being able to sit with someone and meander all the different points of their lives through conversation and find those moments to illuminate them based on one's keen interest in the unseen, it really makes for an energizing experience.
It's eerie how much I identify with counseling that I actually am unsure how I would feel making it a career when I find it to be both a calling and art form. Does one learn of human connection and its manifestations through a book? This is the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Counseling requires wisdom and wisdom is knowledge without words, a felt knowledge in action. So, in a sense one simply needs to open themselves up to another person to experience what it is like. It is different for everyone, but it leaves such an imprint on both your life and the other person's!
Anyone can have these experiences! They're very rewarding and allow one to challenge their own beliefs because they are being sought out by another as well as verbalized. However, for this INFJ, it is something I've had for a long time; it simply cannot be lost for that would mean that I am as well.
I've typed my academic advisor as an INFJ because she has the ability to say the perfect thing that magically fixes my life in two seconds. She's better than 98% of the various professional therapists I've had over the years.
Yes I can completely relate. I feel like it's my natural calling and the only thing I would gladly do for free because I love it so much. I also get impatient with my ES-type friends because, as much as I love them, their conversation just bores me to tears most of the time and I have to struggle to relate to what they are talking about. I do though, because they are good people in their own way and I appreciate them too. Eventually I will be a life coach - I just don't have the heart to charge people for it so I have to figure out a business model that works. One has to eat. LOL.
yeah i do relate to the status 'counselor', often people will just came up to me and asking for advice. :frustrating:
my mom, my sisters, i cant count how much they ask for an answer for their problems, or just ears to listen.
but sometimes being a counselor sucks, cause people tend to undermine me in some cases. maybe its because i didn't give a boundary between the person im counseling and my self. so they feel 'above' or somethin? i dont know, but i think most of the time i am under appreciated. like nothing i did is enough
I definately feel like my name. All the friends I have had, would come to me for their problems like I was their counselor. I always end up (no matter how hard I try not to) with friends that have some sort of problem.
I used to be! A handful of years ago I would be described as the de facto counselor at school and amongst people I knew. Now, I am as others have said, a confidant. More of a listener than one who actively tries to remedy things. I realized at some point that I was spending all my time and energy thinking and watching other peoples' lives rather than thinking and doing things in my own.
I still have that empathizing, compassionate core though. That will never change.
Like a lot of people here, I also tend to attract friends who need some counseling, and I like trying to help them, though it can be draining at times. I also can see a bit of the protector in me as well, even as far back as age 9 or 10. I remember at the end of third grade hearing a bunch of girls complain about this girl that was going to be in our fourth grade class the next year. Naturally, I was curious to find out what they hated so much about this girl. When I finally met her, I discovered that the other girls hated her because she had a speech impediment (shallow, right?). I took the time to get to know this girl, and she was one of my best friends until I moved the next year. In fact, she was kind of that awkward first girlfriend you have in grade school. I remember picking dandelions for her at recess and giving them as presents. That was what I did instead of, you know, playing like all the other kids. Yes, I was a very strange child.
Well, the point is that, looking back on this, I can see the desire to help and protect someone which seems to be so natural to INFJs. It's really interesting, though, how long it took me to notice this. I actually thought I was an INTJ for the longest time.
Yes I am like this as well. I feel an intense need to be there for someone, but more so in that I want to see them depend on themselves. I guess I see myself as more of a liberator than anything else. I like to get to the root of issues and try to point them out. I used to do this blatantly, but people have adverse reactions, thinking you're only pointing out problems they have, so I try to learn now, and guide someone to where I think they want to be. In the end, it's always their choice, but I've tried to help give that push if it's needed.
I believe so; but having people expect me to confide in them is a bit of a discomforting task. However, I had noticed many of my friends and family choose to come to me as a person to basically confide in. I love to help others. Usually I spend my time playing the listener when I feel that's all the person requires; but of course there is the occasion I will throw in objective input about how I feel about the person's said dilemma (particularly if I feel comfortable saying such things to said person if I'm close).