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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I prefer more superficial relationships because whenever I get really close to someone tons of problems begin to happen and we both end up hurting each other (be it a friendship or a romantic relationship). I have actually accepted the fact that I will probably never be able to have a family because of that. Or close friends.

I don't think it's an ENTJ thing. I'm just low on Fe and social IQ.

How are relationships for you?
 

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I prefer more superficial relationships because whenever I get really close to someone tons of problems begin to happen and we both end up hurting each other (be it a friendship or a romantic relationship). I have actually accepted the fact that I will probably never be able to have a family because of that. Or close friends.

I don't think it's an ENTJ thing. I'm just low on Fe and social IQ.

How are relationships for you?
How old are you?
 

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What form would this take? P vs J, E vs I?
So you say you have the "tough love" syndrom? :D

My first advice is trying to use MBTI as a framework to help you anticipate/identify/correct possible frictions between you and others.
 
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How old are you?
Why would that matter? Actual age doesn't accurately reflect psychological maturity, nor does it correlate with relationship choices. The fact that OP is at least aware of her short-comings show her ability to response appropriately to her problem.

To the OP:


Is this an issue you are seeking to overcome? Or are you looking for commiseration?
 

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Why would that matter? Actual age doesn't accurately reflect psychological maturity, nor does it correlate with relationship choices. The fact that OP is at least aware of her short-comings show her ability to response appropriately to her problem.

To the OP:


Is this an issue you are seeking to overcome? Or are you looking for commiseration?
Of course age reflects maturity. It's scientifically proven. Don't make things up just because it's been said before or it sounds sound.
 

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Of course age reflects maturity. It's scientifically proven. Don't make things up just because it's been said before or it sounds sound.
Did I smell the lovely fragrance of sarcasm there? hmmm I ll go with it!
 

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Dude just become you're got burn doesn't mean you don't move on!

Love like you have never been hurt before!

Take it from a guy who waited two years for his gf to return, then she covered up she had a bf, and accidentally watch them have phone sex! Happen recently as well, still dealing with the shit and trying to clear things up and return her to the 'friends' zone without been vindictive or revengeful or saying offensive hurting stuff to her! Breaking up is hard, but breaking up in a noble way is harder!

I found that writing things down clearing up misunderstanding, forgive them for their wrongs, forgive yourself for your mistakes help! Attack the problem head on, don't shove it away, cause it will come back and haunt you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
What form would this take? P vs J, E vs I?
So you say you have the "tough love" syndrom? :D

My first advice is trying to use MBTI as a framework to help you anticipate/identify/correct possible frictions between you and others.
Yep. Tough love. The more I care about someone the tougher I am. The less I care the more polite and "typically sweet" I am.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Why would that matter? Actual age doesn't accurately reflect psychological maturity, nor does it correlate with relationship choices. The fact that OP is at least aware of her short-comings show her ability to response appropriately to her problem.

To the OP:


Is this an issue you are seeking to overcome? Or are you looking for commiseration?
I'm in the process of overcoming it with some relapses along the way.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Really? Because I have an ENTJ who is being especially hard on me lately and I’m not sure why. Like… why are you guys hard on the people you care about?
Well that depends. If I don't care or even dislike aomeone I'm not the one who will trash talk them. I just ignore/resolve the situation by taking action or at least make a plan of action. When I am teasing someone or purposely annoy them it's because I am bored and I want your attention because you intrigue me. If I am yelling at you to beat it and fuck off and give you a number of reasons why then I probably dislike you and you've been so ridiculously annoying that it came to that. It really depends on various factors. How does the entj give you a hard time, in what relations are you with the entj, how developed the entj is, how old.

I am 21 and although I have areas where I am more mature than most any F(social) zones are just area 51 to me.
 

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Really? Because I have an ENTJ who is being especially hard on me lately and I’m not sure why. Like… why are you guys hard on the people you care about?
It's because they care about you! They might have other motives as well, e.g. want to get into your pants, or want to date you :)

It's a just a test to see how you respond, remember ENTJ are all soft and sweet inside once you break through the shell :)
 

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It's because they care about you! They might have other motives as well, e.g. want to get into your pants, or want to date you :)

It's a just a test to see how you respond, remember ENTJ are all soft and sweet inside once you break through the shell :)
Yeah... I think he just wants to get into my pants. *shrugs* Even though he did say that he wouldn't feed into the physical attraction anymore if that meant we could stay friends. Like I don't want friends! :th_sur:

After a long period of not talking to each other he called me yesterday and was "feeling sorry for himself" because he had to stay home instead of go to work because he had a fever. I felt really bad I just wanted to be there for him... but my INTP self was saying "Don't fall for his shit!" :blushed:

I swear to god it's so hard falling for ENTJ men. I think I'll just keep away from him. I don't think the things he does has anything to do with being an ENTJ but just an immature ass... and he's 36 years old :dry: like why can't you just.... but that's not my business :frustrating:
 

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I've never been able to stay in a relationship for more than 3 months, I always end up getting tired of their crap and slam the brakes. My relationships have never been superficial though, it's just like getting enlightened as the ordeal goes on that we're just not meant to be together. I'm not sure how I can determine for sure, but I am always right. (I thought back at all of them sometimes, when I want to be 'enlightened' and acknowledge that if we had stayed together for longer, it would have been a waste of time for us both, unless one of us changes personality - and I don't want that to happen)
Most of those relationships were pre-19 btw, so... Either way, I consider myself to be someone with quite high EQ (me choosing to disregard it doesn't count =p), and perhaps what people say is true, that you accept the love you think you deserve.

So what I find hard in relationships is how to become completely accepting of the other or how to disregard their 'bad sides' and see them for their 'good sides'. To be completely honest though, I just think that i've had back luck when it comes to relationships and dating the right people for me/I was too immature.
 

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Yep. Tough love. The more I care about someone the tougher I am. The less I care the more polite and "typically sweet" I am.
I can relate to this. I am careful with others because I know people are generally more fragile than I am. But when I get close to someone I tend to open the floodgates, which doesn't always work out well. I get rougher and more outspoken, which has caused me to hurt quite a few people's feelings.
 

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Of course age reflects maturity. It's scientifically proven. Don't make things up just because it's been said before or it sounds sound.
Please create this debatable thread in the Debates subforum and see how wrong you are.
 
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I would not say there is a Direct correlation of maturity with age. There is a somewhat strong indirect link. But that link exists because the number of life experiences should increase as you age. However someone who is maybe 25 years old has 100 life experiences on X topic, someone who is 45 years old maybe only has 15 comparable life experiences on x topic. But generally you would expect # of experiences on X topic to accumulate over time. This rate may be so low that the above scenario may occur. It would leave you with comparable data saying: I have 3 experiences on X topic, by 25 I would have 75, therefore by 50 I would have 150. where 3 is the average rate per year however some people exceed that so they would reach 150 sooner.

Anyway.
Back to topic.

I don't think that it has an unequivocal correlation to experiences.

I think it depends on your health level. If you're not accepting or receptive to relationships, then that sorta comes from within... the Fi. How in touch are you and how self-confident are you in expressing emotion? are you healthy enough to say I will let myself be vulnerable knowing I may fail and may have to rebuild myself? Am I strong enough to endure that?? Am I willing to do that? Is this person worth the risk?

The fact is no relationship is guaranteed. Its a risk matrix pros/cons thing. That's at least what I do. I know I am not very good at assessing qualitative things. So I quantify relationship things and assign values and go through a formalized Risk evaluation thing. (like I would do for a project). This helps me determine my next step forward in such relationship.
I am not sure if that helps.
 
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