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Discussion Starter #1
I told this guy his drunk driving friend was selfish after he was in an accident. I said that he was careless and endangering others on the road. This guy, and his friend (supposedly another INFJ) threatened to beat me up. Lol.

Do you have any similar experiences?

By the way, I'm aware that what I said was probably not timed right. I just have very little sympathy for drunk drivers. So I don't feel too bad about it.
 

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Discussion Starter #2
Oh and to anyone curious, the idea is that this guy isn't so important that his life means more than the larger public's lives.
 

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Volatile emotional reactions are common place among those who do not wish to take any personal responsibility for their actions.

That sadly is their only recourse as acceptance of fault is too painful for them.

I've had a few experiences like that even among family and friends. Nothing quite as violent since the nature of the relationship was more concrete but regardless it always devolved into either soft threats muttered under breath to blatant reluctance to accept any responsibility and then a projecting of fault and a change of topic to attempt and relay the focus on me for something completely unrelated.
 

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Oh and to anyone curious, the idea is that this guy isn't so important that his life means more than the larger public's lives.
I actually experienced a similar situation.
I learned that I should always keep my ideals to myself because some people don't like it. (Although my ideals are for the good and I always ask politely before I voice out my ideals.)
 

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Yes. Most don't like learning that there are ideals; they like it even less when people say they abide by them; and they like it least of all when told that they should abide by them. What you do considering such a state of things depends entirely on how you stack your priorities.
 

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I rarely express my values anyway but when I do, yes, I have a tendency to piss people off. Because once you ask me for my view, I am not going to give a PC or censored answer. That tends to rub people the wrong way, especially if they are very self-conscious or insecure. I am not, therefore I don't try to have popular opinions. Even if there is a room full of people who disagree with my point, if I've been prompted to give my view, I will not concede to the most popular viewpoint.

I only say what I believe to be true.
 

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Yes, frequently enough that I usually keep my opinions to myself. Those who can't understand the karmic consequences of selfish life decisions tend to be most offended. I'm also guarded around sanctimonious control freaks who will advocate for any cause that makes them appear compassionate. Their empathy is fake, and they get off on manipulating their perceived enemies, not by helping the needy. I'm most protective of my opinions around these types of charlatans because they are the highly vindictive and spiteful.
 

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I can't be bothered to explain myself to others, so I just keep my ideals, values and stuff to myself.
 

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This couldn't happen at my workplace. They cry about everything lol.

I often appear too much even though I am not expressing ideals. Just being myself. I try to be as humdrum as possible. I'm not exactly sure what kind of people I'm really around
 

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I agree that drunk driving is an extremely stupid and selfish act.

I've never driven drunk, but unfortunately it seems as though most people have at some point so you'll find quite a few people are empathetic towards others that have done that.
 

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I have gotten better at risk/benefit calculations recently. I don't always share my opinions when there is no chance that they will be heard or the information will be utilized, because then I am just wasting my breath. I like effect, and if I calculate that the person is unlikely to be able to unemotionally take in what I am saying, I don't spend my time on it anymore. I think being a medical provider has also helped me with this a little bit though - seeing when people are too spun up emotionally that they can't process things even if they are true or helpful. For example, if I have just told someone he or she has cancer, it is not a good time to give them all the details about support groups or treatment etc. They aren't going to process it, even though it is important they get this info sometime. I wait and give them only the necessary few details, and then follow-up with the pertinent details/discussion at a later time when they can process it.

If you want to actually get your point about drunk driving across, or decrease the likelihood that the person /friend will put people's lives in jeopardy in the future, you need to better time your comments. If you just want to lecture someone, timing doesn't matter, but you will have a negligible effect upon the outcome.

That said, I can't stop myself from talking or giving harsh/brutal facts and opinions when they are warranted. Like at work meetings, when my boss or healthcare CEO is there. If they are doing something wrong that is leading us down a path to destruction and I notice it and they don't I am going to tell them, probably in front of everyone because that is the only time they give us to talk. I am not good at timing or cushioning the truth. So - imperfect am I.
 

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Don't you know that we don't discuss ideals in polite society? Did you not get the memo? Ideals are like emotions--they're too be stifled, stuffed, repressed, and redacted at all costs. Should one somehow manage to escape into the world, it is to be mocked and picked at until it disintegrates like a desiccated hairball on an apartment rug.
 
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