I sometimes do that. where all the signs show its never go happpen but i try holding on to the one thread of hope even though i also tell myself it wont happen

Yes

I`m guilty of this. I`m not sure if this is "INFJ" thing. If you are an idealist, your view will always clash with reality, right? So, I have enough of those clashes to serve me until last breath. From one side, it`s bad experience, a disappointment again and again, feeling useless and separated from the world. From another, I seemingly can come back from each such setback a little faster, and little stronger than before. What motivated me to those idealistic follies still remain, in my core, so to speak. I just hope I can use it better and in more efficient manner.

I cannot keep my hopes up because I'm so limited in the way my life goes. But there is always hope that leaps out whenever the "possibility" of something exciting happening comes up. I have to manage my disappointment.

This is perhaps were my logical side comes out. I like to focus more on creating energy and events in my life than having them "happen". For me, the good stuff usually happens to someone else around me, never to me. So I've learned to accept it.

Yes, I identify with this a lot, I'm usually let down by raised hope.

Mellitus said:

I`m guilty of this. I`m not sure if this is "INFJ" thing. If you are an idealist, your view will always clash with reality, right? So, I have enough of those clashes to serve me until last breath. From one side, it`s bad experience, a disappointment again and again, feeling useless and separated from the world. From another, I seemingly can come back from each such setback a little faster, and little stronger than before. What motivated me to those idealistic follies still remain, in my core, so to speak. I just hope I can use it better and in more efficient manner.

Click to expand...

Sadly, all the time. I hate the part where afterwards my anticipations doesn't happen!

No. When something seems unlikely I rule it out as a possibility.

I think that at some level, I'm always open to things going differently than I expect them to go. I believe it may be a P-dom thing, always open to the current information being different/new/unexpected. This does yield hope, among other things.

Edited to add: However I'm also an enneagram 6, so this is not to be confused with optimism in my case.

I think the reason I have this problem of getting my hopes up over things is because I seem to so often think that I'm the reason better things don't happen, that I'm responsible for this, and if only I get out of my own way. So in a way I have to keep believing in things because I can't find any other explanation for why I have painful experiences and disappointments, except that I'm causing it somehow. (I know it's not right, but that's how I often think.)

I think there is some irony to be found here because there's a sense in which it really is me bringing about things I don't want, it's just not quite for the reasons I understand or recognize. This has always been a difficulty for me. I always respond somehow taking too much responsibility for the way things go. In defense of idealists, I don't think this is a problem is a matter of being idealistic. I think for me it's a self-esteem or self-identity issue, but then there I go thinking I am the one responsible.

Ultimately I'm at a loss. I can't think my way through it and just left to find some comfort in what it really feels like being this person. I can't really make sense of this experience so I just have to try to enjoy myself and always try to find reasons to be happy and make light of things.

Mellitus said:

I`m guilty of this. I`m not sure if this is "INFJ" thing. If you are an idealist, your view will always clash with reality, right? So, I have enough of those clashes to serve me until last breath. From one side, it`s bad experience, a disappointment again and again, feeling useless and separated from the world. From another, I seemingly can come back from each such setback a little faster, and little stronger than before. What motivated me to those idealistic follies still remain, in my core, so to speak. I just hope I can use it better and in more efficient manner.

Click to expand...

Yes it is kind of like what Delilah and Aquarian are saying for me. I've "taught" myself to keep open a roster of possibilities to remain engaged and not miss out on information because of my own limitations. But I do tend to make a decision stick with it and not bother with anything else most of the time. Because of natural intuition I'm rarely wrong. But it is good practice to be open to ideas!

It's so funny people think I'm being "negative" but by the time they've started thinking about an issue I have already mulled over it for days and sought advice from my intuitive friends, researched etc to come up with a series of best possibilities. Plus my own hunch, people assume I'm limited because they don't see the thoughts I've gone through. Some people aren't too structured or decisive. Do you all find yourselves to be good analyzers and decisive?