[thegirlcandance]

Do you guys hate it when people ask you what your hobbies are?? As a female INFJ, I have guys that are apparently interesting casually ask me this and for some reason I always find it as a quick turn-off.... why?? Because what they are thinking of as "hobbies" just scream "S type" to me.

Plus... I never even know how to respond. They'll be like "I like football" or "I'm into drinking and racing" and I'll be like... umm yeah I like to watch sports sometimes but I don't follow it and I watch TV on a very rare occasion when bored but my life certainly does not evolve around any of such material things I have mentioned.

Um yeah I don't even know what I'm saying... but any INFJs get what I mean?

 

[curious0610]

I TOTALLY know what you mean. I have things i like to do, but when people ask me that question like that i dont know how to respond!

 

[Daveman]

I don't mind that.

I just don't like it when people ask me what I do for a living, because I don't have a job. :crazy:

 

[Susanna]

I don't like it either because I have so many and a lot are fun for me though I doubt they would be fun to others.

 

[thegirlcandance]

I TOTALLY know what you mean. I have things i like to do, but when people ask me that question like that i dont know how to respond!

Yeah... once I think about it, I think part of it is because what they are asking for is materialistic things and the reality is that none of those things really make me who I am.

The other night I had one ask me if I was more of a "girly girl" or "tomboy" and I was like... umm well I don't like to go shopping for fun so I wouldn't say girly girl. Yet, its not like I'm always all into 4-wheeling to make me a tomboy.

Its truly all just a way of stereotyping... which is limiting and kind of closed-minded when you think about it.

 

[suicidal_orange]

People ask specifically about hobbies?! I really need to meet some new people who aren't wasted, seems I've forgotten how socialising works

I guess this induces the same response I have to the never ending question "what did you do last night / at the weekend" which I usually struggle to answer. Obviously I did stuff, but I almost feel what does it matter? It's nothing they could offer to join in with so at best they could try and work me out based on it but it wouldn't be accurate. Yet the same people still ask again the next time they see me. Irritating...

 

[PaulH]

It rarely happens to me that people ask about specific hobbies - what I don't like is the assumption that as a man I must somehow like sport. The recent soccer world cup is a prime example - people look at you wierd if you say you didn't watch the match (I have nothing against football - a lot of people get pleasure from it and that's great but for me I would rather watch paint dry). "But it's England! how can you not watch it?" they cry. I tend to avoid the obvious response of "because I have a brain and I am not a sheep"

I mess about on the guitar (play would be too strong a word) - that is far enough away from sport but is not that wierd. I don't tend to mention the building a working model steam engine in a garage workshop or spending my time in a cloud of solder fumes on a guitar effects pedal.

Perhaps you should just lie and come up with a really wierd hobby that would really stop them in their tracks - "I really like spending my evenings dissecting pigs hearts" or something like that :wink:

 

[penchant]

Do you guys hate it when people ask you what your hobbies are?? As a female INFJ, I have guys that are apparently interesting casually ask me this and for some reason I always find it as a quick turn-off.... why?? Because what they are thinking of as "hobbies" just scream "S type" to me.

Plus... I never even know how to respond. They'll be like "I like football" or "I'm into drinking and racing" and I'll be like... umm yeah I like to watch sports sometimes but I don't follow it and I watch TV on a very rare occasion when bored but my life certainly does not evolve around any of such material things I have mentioned.

Um yeah I don't even know what I'm saying... but any INFJs get what I mean?

I wouldn't know what to answer either. I tend to get interested in a lot of different things, and change focus often. I think it is the challenge of learning new things that i like, more than actually working on something to perfection... Then there are of course some things that don't change about me either. Like listening to music, reading, hiking, and so on, but i wouldn't consider them "hobbies". So it might be just the word that is troubling me, as you already commented... I guess i wouldn't be as bothered if someone asked me what i like doing in my free time... Hmmm...

I don't mind that.

I just don't like it when people ask me what I do for a living, because I don't have a job. :crazy:

And this question is absolutely equally problematic. Not because I don't have a job, just that i don't want to be fit into a stereotype based on my job. I mean, my job description is not who I am...

 

[Angel1412kaitou]

Oh dear. Now I'm worrying! >.< Sorry, all INFJ's I've forced to respond to that question!
Yes, but what would be better for a conversation starter? I'm a socially-awkward and really shy INFP, and I want to befriend an INFJ, but I'm too nervous, so I end up saying boring and pointless things.

 

[penchant]

Oh dear. Now I'm worrying! >.< Sorry, all INFJ's I've forced to respond to that question!
Yes, but what would be better for a conversation starter? I'm a socially-awkward and really shy INFP, and I want to befriend an INFJ, but I'm too nervous, so I end up saying boring and pointless things.

Now that's a perfect starter for a new thread here... "How do you pick up a conversation with an INFJ?"... :happy:

 

[thegirlcandance]

Now that's a perfect starter for a new thread here... "How do you pick up a conversation with an INFJ?"... :happy:

Make a meaningful or intriguing comment. I've noticed that NT types do well at this to grab my attention. Whether it is through quirky humor or simple comment regarding how they see so many "blind" people in the world.

 

[Angel1412kaitou]

Now that's a perfect starter for a new thread here... "How do you pick up a conversation with an INFJ?"... :happy:

Lol, yes, I think I may create that thread.

 

[MissNobody]

...I'm the one usually asking this question!! Mostly because I'm not good at conversation so I will either say "So what music are you into?" or "What movies do you like?" and..."What are your interests? Any hobbies?"

lol. I don't mind answering because I have a lot to say so I am quite happy to ramble on about how I like to write, draw, listen to music, watch movies, read...:crazy:

 

[MissNobody]

People ask specifically about hobbies?! I really need to meet some new people who aren't wasted, seems I've forgotten how socialising works

I guess this induces the same response I have to the never ending question "what did you do last night / at the weekend" which I usually struggle to answer. Obviously I did stuff, but I almost feel what does it matter? It's nothing they could offer to join in with so at best they could try and work me out based on it but it wouldn't be accurate. Yet the same people still ask again the next time they see me. Irritating...

Yep those are questions I ask and get asked all the time! And I'm like errm, I did, errm, I can't remember...oh yeah I read, went on the internet...errm

"So do you have any plans for the weekend?"
Me: "Not yet..."

Although I have to say that now I'm at University my life has never been busier so I can pretty much give an answer to these questions!

 

[Linus]

lol me too!!^ :crazy: I always like to ask this question, but not always like this.. More like "what do you do?" or what kind of things are you into. And at school I always ask what's your major, what do you want to be when you're finished
and I also find it flattering when people ask me about myself

But I would be too embarrassed to actually answer this question honestly...
Because my interests are kind of girly or weird in general XD ...

I don't mind that.

I just don't like it when people ask me what I do for a living, because I don't have a job. :crazy:

This is the only one that bothers me ~_~
Even when I had a job I wasn't really happy saying what it was. There are other things that matter more to me
I just had a priest ask me this last night. He always asks me when he sees me. "What are you doing here? Are you on vacation?" ...

 

[eyerin]

I can't say that I like it but it gives me a feeling that they want to know about me.Thought I usually dont know how to respond, 'cause I do a lot of stuff.Usually im like ummmm... ... drawing, singing, photography, you know, the usual stuff.That kind of stuff that everybody does.Then they'll be like Ok, cool. and then there comes a big akward silence... So yeah, I think its a turn off xD

 

[vel]

The hobbies question is just something people ask as per social protocol that you can't dive into personal questions right away. Probably indicates a sensor but hey, there are some really cute xSTPs around. It takes more effort to get on same wavelength with them, but I am so much N that I see how S's complement me. Especially ISTPs seem to have this magical ability to bring me out of my shell.

I am much more comfortable with people asking "what are your interests" instead of "what are your hobbies" because my hobbies are really more on mental level, not physical activities. And even if it is a physical activity I do not stick with it too long. It engage in it a few times, figure out how it works, and it starts to really bore me. I don't understand why I have to repeat it over and over again and don't desire to obtain mastery in it. And without frequent repetition I don't feel like it is a "hobby" of mine. I've taken pottery classes, I've taken martial arts classes, I had an opportunity to do some kayaking back in college and rock climbing and sand volleyball and diving. But it was all just like I did it a few times and it didn't really stick with me. I'm usually up to anything that sounds remotely fun and interesting.

With mental sort of hobbies there is usually just 1 or 2 things I am trying to figure out and I get in a lot of depth, meaning I'll spend months if not years researching same one thing and I feel like it is really boring to other people. So my definition of hobbies doesn't really overlap most other people's definition of it. And so then when I get asked this question "what are you hobbies" I feel the discrepancy, like I have to re-adjust and say things that aren't entirely true or they won't really understand me.

 

[curious0610]

The hobbies question is just something people ask as per social protocol that you can't dive into personal questions right away. Probably indicates a sensor but hey, there are some really cute xSTPs around. It takes more effort to get on same wavelength with them, but I am so much N that I see how S's complement me. Especially ISTPs seem to have this magical ability to bring me out of my shell.

I am much more comfortable with people asking "what are your interests" instead of "what are your hobbies" because my hobbies are really more on mental level, not physical activities. And even if it is a physical activity I do not stick with it too long. It engage in it a few times, figure out how it works, and it starts to really bore me. I don't understand why I have to repeat it over and over again and don't desire to obtain mastery in it. And without frequent repetition I don't feel like it is a "hobby" of mine. I've taken pottery classes, I've taken martial arts classes, I had an opportunity to do some kayaking back in college and rock climbing and sand volleyball and diving. But it was all just like I did it a few times and it didn't really stick with me. I'm usually up to anything that sounds remotely fun and interesting.

With mental sort of hobbies there is usually just 1 or 2 things I am trying to figure out and I get in a lot of depth, meaning I'll spend months if not years researching same one thing and I feel like it is really boring to other people. So my definition of hobbies doesn't really overlap most other people's definition of it. And so then when I get asked this question "what are you hobbies" I feel the discrepancy, like I have to re-adjust and say things that aren't entirely true or they won't really understand me.

can you get out of my mind?!:crazy:

 

[vel]

can you get out of my mind?!:crazy:

hehe no it's too late now :tongue:

this is why I like this forum - I get so much better understanding of myself reading posts of other people and then figuring "hey, that's me too!"

edit: and actually thinking about this thread just made me figure out what goes wrong in relationships of INFJs and ENTPs and it does lie in lack of S

 

[Cantarella]

Lmfao god yes I hate this. But I'm so used to the empty socializing due to work... People literally don't believe that I basically never listen to music or whatever, not even those close to me. And if I have a hobby, you can bet I'm not telling anyone about it. It's MY hobby not something we're going to do together anytime soon. *defensive lol*