To their face? Yes. Unless I can come up with a rational, understandable reason for not speaking to them.
I have a lot of texts and emails that go ignored, however. A part of me hates that, but if I'm ignoring someone, it's usually because they became overbearing and I didn't have anything left to say to them. I hate speaking for the sake of speaking, and I can't bring myself to do it over text. I wish I could bring myself to be an at least halfway-decent person and tactfully let them know that I'm just not interested in conversing, but I'm not there yet.
I find it difficult to say no to anybody in trouble. However, lately, due to the severity of recent events (the extent to which other helping others with their issues led to very important aspects of my life breaking down) I've become a lot less willing. That is to say, if it's in person, or if it seems serious, I still can't say no, but I find myself ignoring messages or avoiding people to prevent (or rather, simply delay) the confrontation. I want to help and listends, but sometimes I have to realize what's going on in my life matters too.
Oh shit, please don't talk to me.. unless I talk to you first. (And I still have a problem approaching people, unless I can clearly see they want someone to talk to)
I find it easy to stop talking to people who are clearly out to unload their negativity for humanity or to get something from you but the people who just want to talk to ease their mind I can get stuck with for an hour... to a day.
Haha I think this might be one of these typical INFJ-things. Never certain where your boundaries are, and if you're certain it's counter intuitive to say 'no' to someone :th_woot: guilt trips, taking on too much responsibility for someone else, not knowing what is 'normal', etc.
yes yes yes. and I have the dual problem of having a hard time opening up to others and asking for help. would love to know if anyone can relate and has any practical tips for managing it better. it's gotten to the point where I avoid most relationships because I fear being overwhelmed by them, taking on a bunch of the other person's problems and getting no emotional support back. :th_blush:
I would like to say "no" because things are better lately, but I think they are better lately simply because I'm much more picky about who I spend time with, and perhaps I have a more "aloof" attitude than when I was younger. But if there is somebody self-centered who just doesn't have any sense of boundaries, I can have trouble making it clear. I try to change topic, or show disinterest non-verbally, or I can say I have to go.
I've already faced so many over-the-top offended reactions when I was honest that now I choose carefully where to waste energy. It's just too much stress dealing with aggressive or passive aggressive criticism of self-centered people with who I have to set boundaries over and over again. I simply do my best to avoid them in future and not to show interest or friendliness.
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