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Do You have a preference for Fe users or Fi users😘

6K views 51 replies 23 participants last post by  WraithOfNightmare 
#1 · (Edited)
Hey there!🙂

𝗤𝟭: Do You have a preference for Fe users or Fi users?

𝗤𝟮:Which Type Connects with you better Fe user or Fi user?

Regards,
 
#3 ·
I like both too. Romantically, I seem to have a preference for Ti/Fe but I've never been with an Fi user romantically, so I'm just going based on trends in my own attraction. Friend wise, I like both equally. How good the connection is depends on a lot of other factors for me such as similar values and things like that which you don't have to share the same exact functions to have. My pattern is that I tend to be on the same wavelength with fellow INxx types if we have similar values.
 
#5 ·
I tend to prefer Fe users rather than Fi.
One of my long-term relationships was with an Fi dom, but it was always a struggle for me.

Many of my friendships are with the xNFJ types, there is an easy interaction with them.
I get along with the quiet confidence of ISFJ's, but I find ESFJ's are too 'forceful' for me.

I've also had friendships with low Fe users such as INTP and ESTP, so Fe at any level in the function stack can appeal to me.
It depends on the overall 'expression' of the person.
 
#6 ·
I’m an Fi user myself and I think some clashes between Fe and Fi come from not really understanding how it works for the other, but yet feelings are involved!

I feel like I can trust healthy Fi— in other words, once I determine this Fi is trustworthy then we are good to go. Once that Fi cares about me, it will pretty much always work to put itself into my shoes and want the best for me and vice-versa. Unless I breach some trust in some horrible way after trust is established, then I have someone I can depend on no matter the distance or how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other. They are going to be the same inside pretty much and so am I. Also, I can trust them to steadily follow their own values— Once these are understood and defined I can mold what I do fit them to easily show my love and make them happy. We allow each other and support each other to follow our own separate values. We can recognize what is important to the other and support their independent freedom.

Fe can be so comforting— some of the best support and comfort I’ve ever gotten has been from Fe users, but I think I’ve had some of my best Fe experiences with inferior Fe. Because I expect those feelings to always last and be there and maybe they won’t be with an Fe user. Basically the kind of inferior Fe that has decided just to work for me as a family member and can’t help but be compassionate for everything having to do with me, because I’m “in” but whose Ti has all the respect for independent thought and live/let live features ans has the consistency that I always look for. I believe TI has long-term features— at least it seems we Ps can be away for a long time and get together as if nothing has changed. I guess another way to look at what I’m saying is that “P” features are what I’m used to. I’m used to that consistent individual decision-making core.

I’m learning. We had one J in my family growing up— my brother— so one out of 6. I really only have one J in my immediate family right now and that is my ESFJ son and I adore him... but Fe just doesn’t act how I expect feelings to act so it’s a learning curve. I am often very confused why his feelings don’t behave like mine do for bonding, for individuality, the whole yards. And that can be the other way around too... Fe users confused by Fi because feelings in their world behave differently and have a different set of functions and responsibilities in the stack.

I hope to get over this confusion and really understand better and that has been something I’ve worked on intensely for years and always needs more work.
 
#7 ·
I’m an Fi user myself and I think some clashes between Fe and Fi come from not really understanding how it works for the other, but yet feelings are involved!

I feel like I can trust healthy Fi— in other words, once I determine this Fi is trustworthy then we are good to go. Once that Fi cares about me, it will pretty much always work to put itself into my shoes and want the best for me and vice-versa. Unless I breach some trust in some horrible way after trust is established, then I have someone I can depend on no matter the distance or how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other. They are going to be the same inside pretty much and so am I. Also, I can trust them to steadily follow their own values— Once these are understood and defined I can mold what I do fit them to easily show my love and make them happy. We allow each other and support each other to follow our own separate values. We can recognize what is important to the other and support their independent freedom.

Fe can be so comforting— some of the best support and comfort I’ve ever gotten has been from Fe users, but I think I’ve had some of my best Fe experiences with inferior Fe. Because I expect those feelings to always last and be there and maybe they won’t be with an Fe user. Basically the kind of inferior Fe that has decided just to work for me as a family member and can’t help but be compassionate for everything having to do with me, because I’m “in” but whose Ti has all the respect for independent thought and live/let live features ans has the consistency that I always look for. I believe TI has long-term features— at least it seems we Ps can be away for a long time and get together as if nothing has changed. I guess another way to look at what I’m saying is that “P” features are what I’m used to. I’m used to that consistent individual decision-making core.

I’m learning. We had one J in my family growing up— my brother— so one out of 6. I really only have one J in my immediate family right now and that is my ESFJ son and I adore him... but Fe just doesn’t act how I expect feelings to act so it’s a learning curve. I am often very confused why his feelings don’t behave like mine do for bonding, for individuality, the whole yards. And that can be the other way around too... Fe users confused by Fi because feelings in their world behave differently and have a different set of functions and responsibilities in the stack.

I hope to get over this confusion and really understand better and that has been something I’ve worked on intensely for years and always needs more work.
🤍Fe: keeps track of how people feel about various topics and how they respond to various ideas. People who use Fe may be unable to express their own feelings if they believe they may clash with the majority's feelings. Fe isn't always compassionate, and it doesn't always transform the consumer into a pushover.

💜Fi:keeps track of how they feel when they communicate with others. It collects data from the outside world and converts it into reactions and emotions. Fi users can seem self-absorbed, but their emotional independence can also be used to console others and provide a direct look into a contentious viewpoint. Fi isn't always shallow, and it doesn't always make the consumer insensitive to what's going on around them.

Fe users are usually cheerful, but when they aren't, they can be dangerous. We always see optimistic Fe users as a stereotype. They have a natural ability to read people and use it to comfort them. Pessimistic Fe users can hide their emotions or use their emotional foresight to avoid communication.They are more likely to use deception than optimists, but they are still more likely to take pride in their therapeutic skills than pessimists now the Fi users innocently ASSUME the Fe users direct expression of emotion as "You're completely sure about how you feel," when their simply expressing a possibility and figuring out the best possible response. They can't feel fi in their mind without showing it in any way outside of themself (writing, speech, etc) until that external validation from the tribe comes. When they try fi, their thoughts get jumbled and incomprehensible.

On the one hand, Immature Fi/Te's very difficult for me to deal with. My ISTJ father is one of them; he is fi and wants me to know exactly how he feels and gets upset when I don't interact with him, despite the fact that he never even tries to connect. Fi users can struggle to understand the feelings of people who have different cognitive/emotional processes or are in different situations. Pessimistic Fi users are prone to ignoring other people's feelings and dwelling on their own.
 
#8 ·
Fe<Fi conflict in brutal honesty

🤍Fe
:Your way of life is unusual, and you should think about changing it.

💜Fi:I don't give a damn what you think about what I did because it was legal.

🤍Fe:This person over here is upset and you should be sad like the rest of the group.

💜Fi:F***k you, don't tell me what I should be feeling. I don't feel like making him happy.

🤍Fe:Well you need to get out of your self-absorbed bubble, where you believe your reality is the only true reality.

💜Fi:and you needs to let go of the idea that there is an objective morality that must be followed and instead let people make their own decisions as long it's legal not harming another being.

🤍Fe:I am responsible for keeping people together in harmony.

💜Fi:and I'm responsible for my own values

💜Fi>Fe🤍
 
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#11 ·
Fi>Fe
 
#12 ·
Also I just want add...

🔧Te:if It works and then we're happy🤍
🤍Fe:If your happy then it works🔧
 
#13 · (Edited)
Hmm... Tough choice!!

I find that Fi are hit and or miss for me. I get along really well with them, but I heavily clash with some of them.

For Fe, it's more consistent. I haven't clashed with any Fe in my life. I communicate well with them but the bond that I formed I with them isn't as deep as the ones I formed with the Fi (ENTJ, ENFP, etc).

Ironically, I have trouble getting along with IxFPs! 😅
 
#15 ·
I prefer Fi users because I'm an Fi myself, and I find we just "get" each other intuitively which makes communication easier. Having said this, I could definitely be open to an Fe user if I felt that emotional connection or bond with them!
 
#20 · (Edited)
I could have come across ENFPs without knowing it, but to date my limited experience with other Fi users as an INFP has mostly been with ESFPs, and women. If I’m correct this isn’t a rare type among women.

It’s one of those cases where at first I seem to have come across someone that shares at least some or even a number of similar ways of looking at the world, someone who’s just as individualistic and concerned with personal values as I am, but over time I come to realize how different we actually are when it comes to how we wish to live, and they really start getting on my nerves because I simply see so many things they can’t see (including their potential mistakes) while they’re completely engrossed and happy in the world of five senses and physical things. As I mentioned in another post here it’s ultimately their lack of insight, foresight and hindsight into their own lives as well as the world in general (abstract / philosophical side is the one they lack) that makes me grow in frustration after a while. I end up not really feeling understood and unable to share most of my deeper musings with them because they simply don’t care, while I feel like they don’t appreciate what I try to tell them about their bad decisions (superficiality and image comes at a price) and keep going down that path.

By the time it reaches that point, the fun and charming person that I envy for their ability to live in the moment and better appreciate life as it is becomes an emotional burden.

Note I’m a guy and most of these weren’t romantic connections save for my ex. She was very smart and very much a rebel spirit like me, but ultimately pro-establishment in ways that disturbed me and we wanted different lifestyles. She kept telling my secrets and embarrassing things to others too.

NF type Fe users on the other hand, are awesome when healthy. An INFJ / ENFJ has the ability to cheer me up while giving a different, more “objective” / “universal” perspective on values and morality but retains the ability to converse on more abstract topics and sharing that idealism with me. We sometimes don’t see eye to eye due to Fi vs Fe and from their perspective I’m being insensitive / ignorant to more “universal” perspectives, but they do such a better job of understanding and accommodating me than I could ever imagine myself accommodating a value system with notable differences (we’re more alike for the most part though). My long-time INFJ friend tells me I have an inner strength (especially in this current mess of a situation) in ways he thinks he doesn’t have. I personally don’t always feel that way.

One of my best friends is ENTP so he’s an Fe user too though lower in the bracket. He’s clearly a more logical person than I am when I get into emotional tirades but we share a love for freedom and deeper thought and get along very well. In some ways he’s even more fun-loving and free-spirited than I am.
 
#21 ·
It’s more effortless for me to connect with other fi users - I enjoy conversing with the type . I feel like fi users understands who I am and when stressed /down I’m more comforted by fi users

All in general I connect and prefer Fi users

if entp count as Fe then I guess it’s the only fe type that gets me but it could be due to the fact that the entps in my life are ( my father , son , and my bff of nearly 25 years )


with all that said - I enjoy the Fe users in my life just it’s a hit or miss on the connection, we either connect deeply or not at all.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
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#22 · (Edited)
The Se of xNFJs sometimes manifests as wanting more out of their physical environment / their need for external stimuli can be a bit exhausting for me to keep up with even though it’s in the 3rd or 4th position. For example my INFJ friend sometimes asks me to describe an experience all the way down to the details but I’m not always able to describe it accurately / just don’t feel like it and thus leads to misunderstandings. However it’s more bearable than the dominant / auxiliary Se of xSFPs where they live and breathe the physical world.

I must also disagree with many descriptions of Fi as a non-interventionist, “do whatever you feel like” function. While I rarely call someone out for acting in a way that goes against what I feel is right, deep down I always know when what they do doesn’t match with what I feel is right and will adjust my treatment towards them subtly. If backed into a corner I will let them know what exactly they did that’s not palatable to me. Even then I’m rarely rude about it but I will get my point across.

Not saying Fe can’t have strongly held personal beliefs (xNFJs very much can and do) but I associate “I don’t agree with what you said / do but I will defend your right to say it / do it” more with Fe than Fi, because it’s an inclination towards a more objective / universal belief without always needing it to align exactly with your own beliefs and preferences, more like a broad governing code for societal relations.
 
#24 ·
The Se of xNFJs sometimes manifests as wanting more out of their physical environment / their need for external stimuli can be a bit exhausting for me to keep up with even though it’s in the 3rd or 4th position. For example my INFJ friend sometimes asks me to describe an experience all the way down to the details but I’m not always able to describe it accurately / just don’t feel like it and thus leads to misunderstandings. However it’s more bearable than the dominant / auxiliary Se of xSFPs where they live and breathe the physical world.

I must also disagree with many descriptions of Fi as a non-interventionist, “do whatever you feel like” function. While I rarely call someone out for acting in a way that goes against what I feel is right, deep down I always know when what they do doesn’t match with what I feel is right and will adjust my treatment towards them subtly. If backed into a corner I will let them know what exactly they did that’s not palatable to me. Even then I’m rarely rude about it but I will get my point across.

Not saying Fe can’t have strongly held personal beliefs (xNFJs very much can and do) but I associate “I don’t agree with what you said / do but I will defend your right to say it / do it” more with Fe than Fi, because it’s an inclination towards a more objective / universal belief without always needing it to align exactly with your own beliefs and preferences, more like a broad governing code for societal relations.
I have seen a few people who feel like you, but it seems to be the minority of Fi users. I think what you’re talking about or maybe have a higher bar for is “crossing that Fi”. Maybe more things people do seriously cross with your Fi.

I think for many people someone else crossing an Fi line balances with ideals of personal freedom, agency, and the idea of someone following their own conscience and beat to their own drummer. But... it could be just all how we decide to frame how we process our Fi. I mean, I definitely don’t trust everyone.. but do I feel like telling them what to do? Not usually.. because in my mind THAT would be an infringement or invasion of their rights. I said usually, but what if they are hurting someone else or themselves? If there is a victim then it means there has been a bigger invasion. I might feel the need to intervene to follow my conscience to protect someone’s freedom/rights. So some of this might be framing, some of it might be how seriously you see your beliefs as imperially correct rather than just rules for you yourself due to personal freedom. I would think even with taking personal beliefs/ideals to a place where you think they should apply to others then it would really depend on which beliefs we are talking about and the degree to which that behavior affects others. I would think. What do you think?

Can Fi be vigilant and/or preacher? I do see this, usually in people who are so darn sure of themselves in just a few particular ways, usually. I usually think more information-gathering is the key. But that’s my conclusion/observation. What about you?
 
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#23 · (Edited)
ISFJ / ESFJ’s Fe is the least bearable for me. The combination of Si and Fe can be a surprisingly potent one in the sense that they expect you to conform to commonly accepted standards of thinking and behavior and will definitely keep score if you don’t. The best way to convince them to adopt a new idea and utilize their Ne is when other people around them are doing it / if it becomes socially acceptable. They need to be led when it comes to their intuition, either by a person but more likely by shifting social trends as a whole.
However that can be a double edged sword as well. When their Ne finally works together with their Si and Fe but that set of new ideas is widely accepted but not necessarily good to have, it can lead to mistaken / misguided obedience.

Fi: I am the only right one and will stick to it at all costs, everyone else is blind.

Fe: If more people are doing it, it must be right and shouldn’t be challenged or else I’ll be the only one who hasn’t seen the light.

These are the extreme versions.
 
#25 ·
To clarify, I generally don’t directly tell people what to do and I try be as accommodating as possible with regards to the way they do things as long as 1. It doesn’t infringe on what I feel is right and wrong and 2. It doesn’t directly affect me or then negatively. When it comes to #2, even then I have a hard time just getting up and telling them what to do even if I know what they should probably do.

I normally don’t come off as preachy / vigilant, instead I’m more likely to state in a casual way what I feel is right, but with the intent of being taken seriously and maybe deep down I do hope the other person feels the same way as I do. You can definitely see me light up when they indeed feel the same way as I do.

With regards to other people’s personal beliefs, it depends on how much I share in common with them overall. If we have mostly the same broad ideas and hopes and just disagree on some stuff here and there, I generally respect their right to what they believe. However, if I find them to be a generally disagreeable person where we don’t share much in common and maybe only a few things here and there in common, I still can’t help but start to doubt their character even though I will rarely let them know unless really pushed. I don’t try to “change” them but I will disassociate myself from them I realize who they are.

Generally the closer someone is to me, the higher I hold the bar when it comes to sharing my Fi ideals and beliefs, and thus greater the disappointment when it doesn’t work out. Over the years I’ve become a lot more cautious when it comes to trusting people, but so far I’m glad to say the few people I have deeper connections with generally share the same ideas and values as I do, with differences here and there of course but the big picture fits well and we generally understand each other. I really like someone who’s curious about the world, liberal and free-spirited but not “progressive” in every way.

So yeah to sum it up I rarely get preachy unless I really feel like I have to, whether asserting my own choices or when I’m flat out annoyed / worried / frustrated at the totally avoidable consequences that came out of someone else’s bad decision making, but whether it’s the good or bad I internalize it somehow and use it for my own reference. That’s where the Si comes in.

I guess a better way for what my Fi feels like is: “Do whatever you feel like, but if I don’t like it I’ll actively avoid it and please don’t bring it up in front of me. And if I was in a position of power I wouldn’t hurt you directly but I wouldn’t favor you and your lifestyle / ideas.”
 
#26 ·
Maybe this is inferior Te at work but in practice while there are times where I do wish to see things more “logically” or maybe give some more logical advice to someone but I always end up with this clash of heart and head because deep down I’m asking myself whether I’m going too far / how much sense I really have. So I’m actually a lot more hesitant than I appear when telling someone what I feel they should do because I don’t want to sound as if I’m telling them who to become. However, if they clearly violate something I feel is morally wrong then it becomes a different story. I will refuse to acknowledge them anymore.
 
#27 ·
Sounds like classic Fi to me. Normal, imo. It’s always like that. Do I tell them and invade their right to act how they do? Do I keep quiet and allow people to cross my values? It’s why we are so particular about friendships.
 
#29 ·
Interesting, now when I look back, I can conclude I like Fi-people WAY much more than Fe-users, probably since I just use Fi myself, I guess that it is because different birds actually do flock together, if being Sx like me.

I see people who use Fe as being too much pleasing and too easily being doormats (DISCLAIMER this is not mean to be any insult, I objective know you are awesome to "tie the room together" so speaking...)

Reason that I do not like dom/aux Fe-users is due to Fe is my own PoRL and I will probably never understand it... Please, do not cuddle me, those hugs are my kryptonite, OMG, leave me be runs like hell >w>
 
#30 ·
I prefer to interact with Fi. The non-impossible kind. The authentic Fi, but not the unrealistic Fi. Some have it, some don't. I already have Fe. Don't need another one. It's hit and miss with Fi so you could get a gem or you could get a turd.
 
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#31 ·
I’m not sure, they’re both fine, however I really, genuinely don’t understand Fi doms, and even tho I have many acquaintances, we never connected on a deeper level. Neither have I connected deeply with an Fe dom…
HOWEVER, I prefer dealing with Fi users most of the time, to be specific, INTJs and ENTJs, and occasionally ESFPs
 
#33 · (Edited)
Fi, but inferior Fe is also nice. Edit: Actually inferior Fi and inferior Fe are the best. 😸 Inferior Fe seems that doesn't follow your feelings, while in reality absorbs everything (seems cold and distant but the opposite), and inferior Fi "needs" your Fe for themselves, because they are a bit out of touch with it.
 
#36 ·
If you mean me, I was having in mind 1 INTP and 2 ISTP colleagues, who mostly do their own thing, no awkward F-F interactions, and then they surprise me with some notion of thoughtfulness, like they absorb everything about me and know me very well. So inferior Fe is actually very aware of the surrounding feelings, just on a different time-scale, which I find very nice and thoughtful in the long run (which is what you usually want out of a friendship).

Inferior Fi is my preference with partners, because I like not knowing "what is going on" and practice my Fe.

Dominant Fi-s sometimes get awkward with my tertiary Fe. Is this what you had in mind?
 
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