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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
seriously, nothing personal, but lately ive been having days where i just want to be left alone. I don't want to BE alone, I just want to be LEFT alone (paraphrasing Hepburn here). I'll spend some time alone but i'll also spend time exploring, walking around where crowds of people are. Whether it's alone or in a crowd, I'm just super hostile to any type of attempt to engage me in any type of interaction. NOTHING personal, but I can tell I'm very hostile to ANY attempt at communicating to me. I think this happens when i'm very stressed out, working on something important, or have a huge decision hanging over my head. I just need to be left the fuck alone. Maybe it's my way of trying to draw lines so I can make the decisions I need to , without letting others influence me? Even if it's around people I like, it takes SO much effort to be civil. Yes, CIVIL. that's how hostile I feel at any type of communication.

Please tell me you guys also relate to this or have these phases once in a while.
 

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seriously, nothing personal, but lately ive been having days where i just want to be left alone. I don't want to BE alone, I just want to be LEFT alone (paraphrasing Hepburn here).
Please tell me you guys also relate to this or have these phases once in a while.
I know exactly how you feel. Especially when I feel like I have too much on my plate, I can be sensitive and need lots of alone time to sort things out. Most people who know me understand and don't take it personal. And I try and recognize when i am feeling that way and communicate how I'm feeling to my coworkers and family so they understand that it is nothing against them but merely me dealing with stress.
 
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Don't worry, I've had these moments also.

The worst is when they get offended. I need you to just shut up, back off, and let me make my own decisions at my own pace.

That kind of negative/irritable behavior happens when I have a critical decision to make, I make up my mind after spending so much time contemplating and weighing my options, and I get bombarded with criticism and 'advice'. They cloud my judgement and make me second guess myself, something that CANNOT happen sometimes. I overthink anyway; your input is not appreciated. /rant

Anyway, just tell them to back off, that you really need your space right now. If they get upset, deal with them after you've calmed down and sorted things out; when you're feeling better. Usually if I try and deal with their emotions then and there, I get impatient, frustrated, and end up doing more harm than good.

I went on a tangent with that one, so I dunno if what I posted is relevant to your situation. If it's not, feel free to ignore this. :happy:
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Your tangent is still relevant to this discussion. Someone today got really offended by my mood and probably took it personally. I was kind of pissed off at her anyway. She flaked on me for like the 4th time ever, and gave me some stupid long excuse, very similar to the ones i've heard before. even before she gave her excuse, in my mind iwas like 'Yeah yeah, and what now". Its insulting. I'd rather she have said "sorry. i was tied up and meant to call, but didn't get a chance to... until A WEEK LATER?!" she couldve shot me a really quick email or text.... anyway, i treated everyone equally distantly. this person usually seems to anticipate some kind of babying behavior (and for me to kind of mother her or something), but today i felt too tired to accomodate her.
 

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Luckily my friends realize that they need to be tender and not pushy when I signal to them - in subtle or not so subtle ways - that I need to be alone.

But hey - look at it from the bright side: If your mood stays that way for a long time, you might make a brilliant career working in the customer complaints department :laughing:
Managers just love employees that can make the complaining customer feel like a pile of shit :crazy:
 

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seriously, nothing personal, but lately ive been having days where i just want to be left alone. I don't want to BE alone, I just want to be LEFT alone (paraphrasing Hepburn here). I'll spend some time alone but i'll also spend time exploring, walking around where crowds of people are. Whether it's alone or in a crowd, I'm just super hostile to any type of attempt to engage me in any type of interaction. NOTHING personal, but I can tell I'm very hostile to ANY attempt at communicating to me. I think this happens when i'm very stressed out, working on something important, or have a huge decision hanging over my head. I just need to be left the fuck alone. Maybe it's my way of trying to draw lines so I can make the decisions I need to , without letting others influence me? Even if it's around people I like, it takes SO much effort to be civil. Yes, CIVIL. that's how hostile I feel at any type of communication.

Please tell me you guys also relate to this or have these phases once in a while.
I can feel out of balance at times, and depending on which side I've been overemphasizing, I would need to balance that out. So if I have been taking in too many new impressions without having the time to process things properly - constantly taking in new input emotionally, verbally, intellectually - I would end up needing time to make sense of everything, without being distracted by even more communication. So, yeah, sometimes I just need to be left alone, to find my inner peace again. Any new sensory input in this phase would need to be on my terms, and not forced upon me. Given that, I could still find the best place to do my inner processing to be in a busy place, as long as I choose to be there. It is probably very much a way of reclaiming control of my own life again.
 

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I have days like that. I still try to remain polite, especially if I am in a work/professional environement, but if I have to converse with anyone or answer a question I will keep it short. One of my school tutors noticed that I tend to be very quiet and withdrawn when I'm upset about something.

Unfortunately my family are often the ones that have to put up with me in this mood. I generally won't say when I have a problem it just shows in my behaviour instead...
 

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I have days like that ALL the time. It's mostly after I'm with a lot of people, I just feel like I try so hard to be social when I am with people, and it wears me out. I just need a lot of time alone to "recharge".
 

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I think my INFJ ex frequently had days like this.

If he really wanted to, he had an icy, dry, occasionally volcanic layer underneath his seemingly over accomodating front.
 

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I have days like that. I still try to remain polite, especially if I am in a work/professional environement, but if I have to converse with anyone or answer a question I will keep it short. One of my school tutors noticed that I tend to be very quiet and withdrawn when I'm upset about something.

Unfortunately my family are often the ones that have to put up with me in this mood. I generally won't say when I have a problem it just shows in my behaviour instead...
Yes i do this. If i am upset i don't want to speak to people and what makes it worse is people try to make me talk. i stay civil until that they badger me too long. My mother does this all the time my entire life. It's worse when the person that upset you is the one trying to talk to you. If i am upset or hurt i need time to just go through it all by myself or just a close friend if i feel up to it. if i want to talk about stuff i will talk to people. I normally do eventually after i figure out how i feel and what i should do about the feelings. i will do what i am required and eat but don't expect my to be talking to people or being seen. If i am hurt everyone else should give me space. I fulfill my commitments and needs but don't expect anything more.
 

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I do get what you mean. Unfortunately, whenever I want to be alone, there's always people around. Then, when I need a hug or something, no one's there. It's so lame!:crying:
 
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I'm sorry to say this, but I feel this way more often than I'd like to admit, hence my desire to move to the woods. Seriously.
 
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