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Do you have regrets?

  • No. I live life with no regrets. No use dwelling on the past.

    Votes: 6 11.5%
  • Yes, if I could go back, there are quite a few things I would change.

    Votes: 26 50.0%
  • I can think of a couple things I regret, but I wouldn't go back to change them.

    Votes: 15 28.8%
  • Other, I'll explain.

    Votes: 5 9.6%
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I have many regrets, I would try and make them better if I could but I would be careful with any reprocussions. The butterfly effect is a bit tricky and certainly not easy to keep track of.

But I think I would have taken the Eleven Plus exam which is a significant exam yet totally optional in my country. It's easy to say I would have passed but then it's equally as assumptive to say I wouldn't have (I never even gave it a chance.) I refused simply on the grounds that someone else I didn't get on with in my class was taking it and I would have been sent to the same grammar school as him had I passed. I betrayed a life of potentially greater academics and fruitful education that day and all for the sake of a childish issue. Instead I traded it for a standard state school I wasn't popular in and hated by many.

But what if my regrets and mistakes were induced by my laid back nature, my fear and uncertainity. Would it have been much better the second time? This life is unfulfilling and empty but I've received opportunities to learn from my mistakes. There would have been nothing to grow from had it all been perfect.
 

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I wish I was a good at learning from my mistakes as I am at making them.

In a typical Rpg game I will reload and redo it more times then I care to remember, to get it just right.
Wish I could do that irL >_>
 

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Sure, there are things I have done in the past that I wish I had not, or would do differently now.

However, can I really regret what I've done? I was not the same person then as I am now. What I have done in the past was necessary to make me into the person who I am today. There are things that were painful, moreso than I would ever want to experience, but that is okay. I did the best I could with the limits imposed on me, and the limits I had imposed on myself. I can't regret any of it.

Of course I think of all the what-ifs, but dwelling too much on "what I could have done if I knew then what I know now" is really only harmful and stops me from growing. It's a constant challenge, stopping myself from thinking that way.
 

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I regret not telling this one singer I had a thing for her. Generally though, what's the use of living in the past? Dwell too much on it and the next thing you know, you've got moire regrets in the present.

Silly way to live. We become who we are by making mistakes and taking risks.
 

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I can think of a couple things I regret, but I wouldn't go back and change them. As mucha s it pains me, I wouldn't follow through with changing them of my own accord. They helped shape me, and changing them is like trying to get a whole number out of a prime number, dividing by zero, or inserting your own text into a literary work that is completely of a different person's origins and such. It's like messing with pure creation to me, and I don't do it.
 
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Very few, I do acknowledge that bad things happen, but you grow from them. However, sometimes that growth isn't worth the priced paid.

One situation was when I was around 7 or so, I had just skipped a grade. I received lots of praise at school and even from my often belligerent mom. Everything was great, I was on Cloud 9 and I thought the absolute world of myself, a wild swing from what I was before. One day while I was walking home I noticed 2 men in a vehicle following me very closely, I still remember the fixation in their eyes. I was smart enough to recognize the threat and I figured "these guys are waiting for me to get into an isolated place." So I did the very thing they wanted, I -pretended- to walk down the steps to an underground parkade. As soon as I did this they hit the gas and raced down to greet me. That confirmed my original suspicion of what was happening and I spied on them for a bit before I left. As I walked away I patted myself on the back thinking I was brilliant, someone at my age easily outsmarting 2 much older guys. Ha, I felt like the kid on Home Alone. The problem? I never told anyone about it and later that day a nearby local girl was abducted.

While I never actually knew the girl, I gathered all my friends and constantly went around town asking around and looking for her. It made the news (naturally) and cops were filtering throughout the city looking as well. Since my mom was a single nurse, she often worked at night. I was gone for about 3 days or so, all night, constantly looking while I rode around on my bike. The types of people I spoke to, the places I went... all shady areas and I could have easily just been another casualty.

I never found out what happened to that girl, but I never forget it either. I learned a lot through that experience and specifically learned to never let myself get carried away with my own hubris. I also think it was one of my greatest inspirations to go into policing.

In the end, while I weathered most of that immense level of mental turmoil, I ultimately gained so much more strength from it in return. With that said, I would give up everything I am today, even cease to exist, if that girl would have never went through that experience.
 

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I have one major regret, turning my back on my second ex. Other than that, who doesn't have regrets? I can't change the past, but with regrets come the greatest lessons. I am who I am now, might as well make the best of it.
 

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No, I wouldn't change a thing about my past life. This is probably weird since I went through tons of depression and just told my wife who I've been with for 7 years (married for 3) that I wanted a divorce a few days ago.

But I feel that everything happens for a reason, otherwise there is just no point to life. I'm so much more confident now than I've ever been since I could even remember. Just yesterday I was able to banter back and forth with a neighbor who I've barely spoken to because for a year and a half because I was too nervous and shy before. I might not ever be a Type A person, but I'm starting to come out of my shell much more.

And I think that without the experience and insight I've gained, even on my worst days, that I might be in a totally different place in life right now. That place might be better or worse, but I have no regrets. All of that stuff contributed to where I am today. I have a good foundation to start making all the changes I want in my life. I can't worry about what could have been, only what can be with the time I have in front of me. I wonder had I not gone through everything I did at such an accelerated and devastating pace that I wouldn't have gone seeking the answers I was looking for until much later in life, when I'd have even less time to identify how I want to live and then act on it. So in an odd way, I'm appreciative of all the weird or depressing experiences when looking upon them after the fact.

I have a ways to go to get to my ideal life, but I'm learning to stop worrying about the end product and am just enjoying the journey.
 

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Very few, I do acknowledge that bad things happen, but you grow from them. However, sometimes that growth isn't worth the priced paid.

One situation was when I was around 7 or so, I had just skipped a grade. I received lots of praise at school and even from my often belligerent mom. Everything was great, I was on Cloud 9 and I thought the absolute world of myself, a wild swing from what I was before. One day while I was walking home I noticed 2 men in a vehicle following me very closely, I still remember the fixation in their eyes. I was smart enough to recognize the threat and I figured "these guys are waiting for me to get into an isolated place." So I did the very thing they wanted, I -pretended- to walk down the steps to an underground parkade. As soon as I did this they hit the gas and raced down to greet me. That confirmed my original suspicion of what was happening and I spied on them for a bit before I left. As I walked away I patted myself on the back thinking I was brilliant, someone at my age easily outsmarting 2 much older guys. Ha, I felt like the kid on Home Alone. The problem? I never told anyone about it and later that day a nearby local girl was abducted.

While I never actually knew the girl, I gathered all my friends and constantly went around town asking around and looking for her. It made the news (naturally) and cops were filtering throughout the city looking as well. Since my mom was a single nurse, she often worked at night. I was gone for about 3 days or so, all night, constantly looking while I rode around on my bike. The types of people I spoke to, the places I went... all shady areas and I could have easily just been another casualty.

I never found out what happened to that girl, but I never forget it either. I learned a lot through that experience and specifically learned to never let myself get carried away with my own hubris. I also think it was one of my greatest inspirations to go into policing.

In the end, while I weathered most of that immense level of mental turmoil, I ultimately gained so much more strength from it in return. With that said, I would give up everything I am today, even cease to exist, if that girl would have never went through that experience.

Wow.. Richard, I honestly envy you for having so much mental endurance until today. If it were me in your shoes, I would've gone insane.

I am sorry for the girl. :sad:
 

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i'e made mistakes but they made me how i am, i'm fine with this life
 

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There have been a few times when I couldn't be there for people that I now know needed somebody, and I always feel pain and regret when that happens.

I also regret never telling my first love how I really felt, even though she would have undoubtedly rejected me outright, breaking my 12 year old heart and possibly driving me to suicide. The not knowing what would have happened was just a slow death making me sicker every day even after she and I drifted away from each other.

I regret not killing my biological father when I was 4 and instead waiting for him to contract cancer and die off that way. He lived too long, hurt too many people too much. It would have been just RIGHT to kill him, for everyone's sake. (Is that a Fi or Fe thing to say? Or a mix of both?) I was only 4, even if they knew I had killed him, the punishment wouldn't have been TOO bad. It would be worth it, my adult self now realizes.

I regret not insisting on homeschooling sooner, for my brother's sake and mine, but especially, yeah, my brother. He would like learning now, maybe, if the school hadn't have made him feel so dumb, the way they treated him.

I regret that when I was young coming back every other weekend from my visitation that I took out all my confusion, anger, despair, etc., on my brother and my mom. I just felt like it was safe to do, because I knew they would love me anyway, but also I was mad at them for not protecting me.

I regret deceiving first psychotherapist so much. I should've just swapped her out right away for someone I could feel more comfortable with. I also did that a lot with school counselors. They couldn't help me as much that way, as much as I needed.

I regret the times my sensitivity/sympathy fail me, the times I lose control, the times I get a bit manic, etc.
 

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I picked "Other." There are a few things I would go back to change, but I am not sure if I truly "regret" them. One would be to make sure my grandfather took his blood-pressure pills so he wouldn't have died from a heart attack. Another would have probably been taking college more seriously during my first year, I wasted a lot of time during that period (even by my standards). I would go back to my childhood and better managed my weight/body from then on. Other than that, not really anything without being nit-picky.
 

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It's amazing reading these posts of regrets. So emotionally honest, I am not replled, but definitely awed in a way that I can't explain.
 

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Sure, I regret a few things, but they've made me who I am today.
 

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I have few regrets. I have been through hard times but they were caused by other people. All the decisions I have made up to this point has gotten me to a pretty good life and career. I just wish I had known how easy it was to remove negative people or people that wanted to use me out my life sooner. It took the first 25 years of my life to learn that. Now that I have learned that lesson I have a pretty good life.
 
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