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Apparently I was told by one of my bosses today that I don't "interview well," as in job interviews (I still got hired for the position, as I had been working a different position at the same place for a few years and they know my work quality). I guess my discomfort shows in my body/facial language more than I expect it does, as I'm a bit reserved with people in professional settings and whom I don't know well personally. I thought my responses to the questions were quite thoughtful, detailed, and original... but I suppose I tend to pause/reflect when I speak and say "umm..." as I think of the best reply possible that I can give. I am not very good at spontaneous, in-the-moment responses and need a bit of space to gather my thoughts (I hate when I can't verbalize my ideas without misrepresenting them, so I'm always trying to find the "right words" to express my ideas as closely to as they appear in my head).

Also, I am quite young for the position (20 and female) and working in a leadership role with large groups of children and staff who I am in charge of... and another comment made to me today is that I need to work on my "leadership skills" and presenting myself as a confident, "in-command," and assertive person to the parents (since I will be responsible for their kids). I think this is partially due to the fact that I am young, female, and people often judge based on appearance and age... so I have to work extra hard at appearing assertive, mature, and in control. I am very capable and qualified for my job... I just need to learn to look and act the part. I think a lot of more introverted types must get overlooked for positions they would do very well at, just because others may be better at presenting themselves in these interview-type situations.

Have any of you guys had to deal with similar kinds of issues? in the workplace or otherwise? How does an INFP become more confident in their verbal and presence skills around others, as well as appear more assertive in a leadership role in a professional organization with a lot of responsibilities?

I have a lot to prove to them but I'm determined... I am sure that introverts can make great leaders and bosses!
 

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I've heard similar things.

My extroverted mother and sisters all think I sound nervous and underconfident when I work in the family shop, and they've said the same thing about my introverted father as well. I think the difference for us is that we're quieter and can't rattle off our little blurbs at 100 miles an hour. We ask more questions and listen to the answers before recommending something. It's a different approach and while I can see how some people might interpret that as not knowing what we're doing, I think most customers can see in the end that we're just trying to find the very best product for them, instead of assuming we already know what they need and then trying to convince them that we're right.

I've actually gotten better at job interviews! I'm still nervous and feel awkward, but I got the job after my last two so I can't have done too badly! I think speech and drama lessons as a kid helped; I can put on my performing mask and fool people into thinking I'm smart and confident with how well I enunciate my words. ;) And working in customer service, where I HAVE to interact with strangers all day, was another helpful thing for me. It's draining, but it made me realise that I CAN do it and I get to fine-tune my extravert mask. I'll never be bubbly or super-confident but at least I can smile, look the interviewer in the eye every so often, and tell them what they want to hear.
 
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I actually interview very well, although it took a bit of time and I was dreadfully awful at them when I was younger. I don't know, I think I just do a good job at reading the interviewer and gauging my attitude and what I say to what they want to hear. I also always inject some humor into my interviews and kind of avoid rehearsing answers and just think about ideas to touch upon in my interviews. But I was recently told that I had a great interview; before interviewing for an internship I was told that they probably didn't have anything available and that I should look into other options (had me very pessimistic) but following the interview, they were really interested in me and ended up hiring me. I think the best thing in interviews to do is to have key talking points, know how to read the person giving the interview, and make sure to be relaxed and treat it as a conversation rather than a bit of a Q&A type of thing. If you can do that and are able to speak with confidence about what you can bring to the place you're interviewing for, you should be able to have strong interviews. It's really all about marketing yourself and not only being someone with the skill-set they're looking for but being someone who will be a valuable member of the workplace in other ways.
 

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I don't do interviews :) I've done two in my life and I got both jobs in spite of saying things like "I'm a loner, not a teamplayer" and "I do best when left alone". Then I figured out I do best when I don't need to interact at all and became a freelancer :)
 

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I think the best thing in interviews to do is to have key talking points, know how to read the person giving the interview, and make sure to be relaxed and treat it as a conversation rather than a bit of a Q&A type of thing. If you can do that and are able to speak with confidence about what you can bring to the place you're interviewing for, you should be able to have strong interviews. It's really all about marketing yourself and not only being someone with the skill-set they're looking for but being someone who will be a valuable member of the workplace in other ways.
Actually that's a really good point, and I do a similar kind of thing. If you do a bit of research beforehand about the company and the job role, you should have a pretty good idea of what kind of person they would want to fill that role. Then you play up the attributes that you do own, while playing down the ones that you don't have. That way it isn't lying, but you're still giving them the impression that you'll be good in that job. Then it's just a matter of being able to connect with them. Especially if they're going to be working alongside you, they want to know how you're going to treat them as a person, not as an interviewer. If they can see that you're kind and respectful even when you're a bit relaxed, they'll think more of you than if you're polite and respectful but just rattling off answers that you've clearly memorised beforehand.

The problem is, that takes a certain amount of comfort. I think it's definitely worth practising though.
 
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What a coincidence that I saw this because I just finished a video conference interview half hour ago.

:sighs:

I think phone and video interviews are the worst lol and it's more challenging when you don't do them in your native language.

No matter how much I prepare myself I still get very nervous. I do my best to present myself well and act friendly but is difficult to hide my nervousness . If they don't like me what the hell then it's a sign that it's not the place for me.

I really don't know whats the trick to get a job these days. The (in person) interviews that I have done in my country have been pretty easy but getting employed in the U.S while you live someplace else is a challenge doesn't matter if you have the qualifications/credentials/experience they require. There is too much competition.


oh well going to keep my fingers crossed and pray but I am not going to have my expectations too high because I get too optimistic and when I find out I didn't got the job I get very upset with myself.

After the interview I keep overanalyzing and thinking what I did wrong and whatever but this time I will try not to.
 

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Ah, interviews. Honestly, I'm not sure whether I interview well or not. I think I actually interview quite well nowadays, although a good few years ago when I was just first breaking into the labour market I was quite terrible, mostly owing to my inexperience and inability to truly comprehend what a business is looking for in a candidate. (Although not as bad as some: I remember a very pleasant 50-year-old woman who was once sitting with me in a communal area prior to being called for interview and she was so nervous she almost was having a panic attack, whereas I felt totally calm and in control even though I had no real experience to bring to the company.)

I just look at it this way. Rightly or wrongly, your sole purpose in a job is to bring value to that company. You are there to earn them money, and you do so by doing your job, and doing it well. In interview, your purpose is to convince the people employing you that you understand their requirements and are the best candidate for the job. Right?

One thing that definitely worked in my favour is to play to your strengths, and while I understand that the present state of the economy doesn't always allow you a lot of liberties, apply for areas you're comfortable in, passionate about, or at least experienced in. I applied for a lot of administrative positions before, because most of the technical jobs seemed to want people with Computer Science degrees or a minimum of a few years' work experience. Constantly I would make it to the final stage, but would be dropped at the last minute. (I swear that they could smell my INFP-ness. "You couldn't organise your way out of a paper bag! Get outta here, you faker!" lol :p) Excuses varied. Once I applied to become a photocopier servicing engineer and the directors dropped me at the final interview because, I shit you not, my profile was 'too academic'.

On the other hand, I've been interviewed for... 5 IT-related positions, I think? Out of those, I landed 4 roles. So I must be doing something right. In my defense, the interviewer in the one I didn't land was so impassive as to be a practical brick wall, which made me incredibly nervous as I couldn't read him. Plus, I'm still only applying for relatively entry-level positions like 1st/2nd line or application support. I'm sure if they wanted an infrastructure consultant, or a network administrator, or a software developer or something then I'd be meeting with a lot less success.

Basically, they want to know you can do the job well, and they want to know you'll fit in the team, right? So I just go in and act... totally naturally. I talk to them as if I'm talking to a friend, just about business and in a specific context. One of the problems I had at first was that I was way too nervous and anxious, and I thought I had to be a lot more "professional" than people actually expect you to be, but it came off as being fake and contrived I think. A good key is in knowing that you will be prepared for basically any question you'll be asked, but that you will have internalised your answers and speak from a genuine place as opposed to having memorised a script.

In my opinion, write out a bunch of common interview questions. "What are your greatest strengths/weaknesses, how did you display evidence of X competency in your last role, how do you see your career path developing, what do you want from the company and what can you bring us", that kind of thing. Think about past achievements that you're proud of (or if you lack self-esteem then at least ones others praised you for!) whether it be in education, your personal life, or in your last job role, and explain how you came to the conclusions you did and why you made the decisions you did. You'll get the hang of it with practice and once you get a feeling of how to think, imo.

But just to address your questions directly:
slytherin360 said:
How does an INFP become more confident in their verbal and presence skills around others
Focus on the things you have done, and have confidence in your ability to do the job. Be personable, but it doesn't have to be personal if you know what I mean. Don't try to be something you're not or put up too much of a front, though. Be honest, but selectively honest.

slytherin360 said:
as well as appear more assertive in a leadership role in a professional organization with a lot of responsibilities?
Afraid you're on your own here, though. I haven't worked in management or leadership roles, personally. I don't want the responsibility of managing other people and find office politics incredibly tiresome. I'd rather deal with the technical aspects of the job, or with customers and (sometimes...) end users.
 

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My last boss told me that when he interviewed me, I seemed like I'd be fun to work with. (I am.)

I also did another interview for a different job and was told that I came off very professional/well-spoken. When I got to the second interview (for the same job), it was done over the phone, and the only feedback I got back was that I did not come off very confident because I started sentences with phrases like "I think" or "I feel" too often, rather than just stating my beliefs as facts. (This was bizarre to me, but I keep it in mind for the future.)

It should be noted that the phone interview I did was with Talent+, and they supposedly have a highly scientific method of scoring open-ended questions. I don't know exactly how it works, but I BOMBED that thing. They rate you on various traits related to the job you're interviewing for, and I pretty much got 0/5 on everything. To an untrained interviewer, I think I come off much better. I usually am good at coming up with examples, and I have an opinion on everything. As long as you're friendly and speak up, you should come out ahead.
 

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i interview very well, oddly. i'm also a good public speaker. my friends and family are always so shocked at my ability to pretend i'm professional and outgoing. it might just be because i like acting hehehehe.
i speak well under pressure, i think it's that whole spontaneous improv trait that helps me out there. but on the inside i'm always hardcore freaking out.
 

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The trait of regularly having a stick up my butt helps. Meaning I can have the appearance of being professional and clear-thinking.
 

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How does an INFP become more confident in their verbal and presence skills around others, as well as appear more assertive in a leadership role in a professional organization with a lot of responsibilities?
I interview quite well. I've been offered a job every time I've gone for a face-to-face interview, and only lost one when it was a phone interview... possibly because I couldn't get a better read on the interviewer and the guy they chose had very specific experience pertaining to the role.

I think I do well because I'm great at research. This likely pertains more to be being enneagram 5 versus INFP, but once I delve into something I can become knowledgeable on it quickly. When I understand something it's easy for me to talk about it with confidence, and since interviews are for a specific purpose rather than unguided interaction, I sometimes think they're far easier than striking up conversation with a stranger. You can prepare for interviews but not impromptu stuff, you know?

When you go into an interview try to have a few scripted answers for the basic questions most employers ask - why do you want this position, what's your greatest strength/weakness, tell me about a time where you diffused a tough situation. This stuff you can just memorize so you won't be caught offguard.

Then learn all you can about the company so you can show them that you took the time to understand what they do and what they need. It shows your interest and that you're more prepared than other candidates. Again, when you do this there's less chance of feeling like you're on shaky ground because you can start speaking to them like a peer rather than a confused newbie.

It's kind of like asking someone on a date... you literally have nothing to lose. If you don't get hired you're right back where you started, no worse for the wear. If you get it, great, you've just gained a job.
 

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i am actually really good at interviews. i get told so often. very professional and well-worded. although, i never feel like i am being myself. :/
 

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I guess I don't interview so badly cause I got the job :yay:

It's a matter of luck really. Sometimes you do awesome in an interview. You express yourself clearly and answer every question without losing confidence and still don't get the job.

Other times you don't do that well or that is what you think and you get the job.

It's a matter of getting lucky finding a company who is desperate to hire someone like you and perhaps look jobs in places where there isn't a lot of competition.
 
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