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Usually I have no problem being charming and personable, and I don't intentionally try to come off as dominant. In fact, quite the opposite, I do my best to be laid back so as not to overwhelm people.

Over the years, though, I've been told I can be intimidating, which surprises me every time. I also sometimes get the impression that I'm difficult to trust. Most of my friends trust me, but every once in a blue moon, when drama arises that has nothing to do with me, people assume I was a catalyst. While I admit I'll stir the pot when it comes to banter or harmless rhetoric, I don't think I get enough credit for how neutral I play it when things get serious.

Anyone else experience this?
 

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I don't know if I'm intimidating to others, but I'm very trust worthy. People come to me all the time with their problems and gossip, and they know that they can tell me anything without me saying word to anyone else. I don't really know why I feel so strongly about keeping my friends trust but I think it has to do with the fact that I don't want them to have a reason to talk about me... or the fact that I want them to trust me (x
 

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I am 5ft, so I wouldn't THINK so. But I notice a lot of people seem wary of me when we first meet, and I know my default expression is pretty flat and emotionless, so maybe?
 

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If I don't know you too well chances are I don't intimidate you, because here I am on the left:
http://disneyobsessedtheatergeek.tumblr.com/image/33922677759
Not too intimidating. I'm also a towering five foot two.

However, my friends understand that if I threaten to do something I will, and that I'm really not afraid to say no to something. I think it's the whole intelligence+confidence=intimidation thing.
 

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I get it sometimes, not all the time. Mostly intimidation manifests itself as me being 'difficult to approach'.

I've found that in conversation it is very easy to get a read on the other person or persons to calibrate myself on how intense or outlandish I should be. Most of the time however, I find it hard to care if someone is even intimidated of me in the first place since usually it means they are wrestling with something in themselves. I'm open and friendly with everyone pretty naturally, and I would say that includes when I say things to 'stir the pot' as you put it. When people are done being angry or realize it was a joke, they usually calm down and I'm on to the next thing.

In most heated arguments, or when things get serious as you say. I'm most often criticized of never taking a side if the problem has nothing to do with me, or always pointing out the reasons why both sides are wrong. If the argument does involve me, or if I am being blamed for a problem (which probably only happens with my parents saying I am a terrible role model for my siblings), you can pretty much take it however you'd like. You can diffuse the problem, say they are wrong and explain what the problem really is. You can agree with them, and ask them what their point is. Or, you can ignore it.

I find that if I know that I am coming from a good place looking to have fun, without hurting anyone, anyone who has a problem with me really just has a problem with themselves and it isn't my job to cater to that problem. Other then that, they are welcome to join in on any and all things I do.
 

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Pic is pure epicness. The one on the right I'm assuming has to be your sister, but the little mermaid kind of looks like all of you as well.
Thank you! The Little Mermaid has always been my favorite movie so being compared to her is just wonderful.
The girl on the right is actually a friend of mine, though we have been told we look alike :proud:
 

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I think I'm too low key to intimidate people. At my summer job, however, my department's management team has a bit of a reputation for being intimidating, so I've had people who don't know me literally jump out of my way and look at me with fear and awe in their eyes when they see the department management shirt. That's fun. People who know me, though, know I'm not like that. I protect my people from the rest of the management. They know they can count on me to take it for them if I need to and make sure problems get fixed before the real scary guys get involved and that's how I earn their respect. I don't need to intimidate them.
 
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I relate a lot to what you said in the OP, Lawyer's.
 
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The more I try to open up, be tactful and humble the more sceptical and intimidated people seem to be. They just dont buy it. So now I go with what some others already said: its better to be who you are and face for most the good or sometimes bad consequences. I always try to be friendly and honest but for some people my bluntness and challenge of the norm will always be difficult to handle.
 

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I have never thought of myself as intimidating, but I think when I am in my get stuff done mode I can be. For example if I am in a store, and if I am in a store I am almost always in get stuff done mode, people who are noticeably older than me (and not employees) start calling me sir. I think it's kind of funny.
 

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Yes. I’m very tall but not outwardly primitive, so it’s not my appearance. In fact women tell me that my voice and presence is very “soothing” and that they like my “mischievous smile”.

But I have some clues, from people’s remarks over the years. My perceived self-confidence is intimidating, as is my relentless stand on principles, like the rule of law and fairness. It happens mostly in the US and not in EU, so it’s also a cultural thing. Also sensors live in a material context whereas in live in an abstraction, so that puts a distance. And feelers’ life is full of drama, which I don’t have, so that’s probably intimidating.
 

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@E_N_T_P You sure you're an ENTP? You sound like you have Te/Fi, Not an auxillary Ti.
 

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My dad is an ENTP and the audio director at his work and he has struggled with that at work a lot. I've personally been intimidated by him as well, but that could also be because he is my dad.
 

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My dad is an ENTP and the audio director at his work and he has struggled with that at work a lot. I've personally been intimidated by him as well, but that could also be because he is my dad.
I would have thought that INTJs would make the scarier kind but i recognize this too. My Dad is more feared than admired at work i think, and he's an ENTP too.
 
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