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So I'm on the dating market and meet a lot of strange people..

One of them was this guy and he would very clearly say i'm not this and im not that.. So I had to ask, if he had a clue to what he was then.. And so my question to you.


Do you know who you are?

And do you care if the person you date have a sense of who they are?
 

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Not really. On both questions. I'm into exploring if we want to work together or not.

The main cause I mostly get 1 meeting is down to me seeing a person who is afraid to seek mutual interest.

Another way of seeing my reasoning is I ask "what do you want?".
 
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You're always learning about yourself and about the rest of the people and about everything in general. That's the beauty of life.

I want people to not know themselves completely, but to be interested and willing to learn about it.
 

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So I'm on the dating market and meet a lot of strange people..
One of them was this guy and he would very clearly say i'm not this and im not that.. So I had to ask, if he had a clue to what he was then.. And so my question to you.
Sadly in the dating area... it is very, very easy to meet people who will try to frame you on a classic picture, or manipulators (that's what they are) trying to push your buttons to get answers, like you (Lovable) you judge people too much right? (just an example of what people do) and try to get you to answer answer answer... while they don't give any info at all but insist on making people give info. And sure some people just want to be liked.


Do you know who you are?
I was sure to know when I was X age, then years later thought "now I know" etc. I mean we all are growing, changing, etc, we are discovering ourselves. I know more about who I am now than a year ago.

First Stage. Several experiences and readings (and sure people I knew) teach me the difference between what I DO and what I am. Scatman (singer) said "I want to be a human being, not a human doing", the thing is, more and more "modern" life push people to do and keep doing, not being, having very, very little time to live, to be themselves or explore themselves. Grandpas have more time (usually) to explore this than young people who are so fucking busy at work, working more than they should and paying for stuff they don't need.

Second Stage. Relationships. Having my share of love relationships not only allowed me to get to know people, but also myself.

Third Stage. You could say this is where I am now, realizing the many big things and details that make my parents who they are and me. I've been talking about this in some threads and the usual response is "no not me", classic, well when you are old enough with long time friends (years) you start seeing the things they imitate from their parents, even if they deny it. Damn at this point even had Gfs going to theraphy because they hate their mothers only to discover (in theraphy) they are VERY ALIKE.

Depending your age and friends, you might be surprised by the amount of people who hate X and still they behave like that, and even so, they deny any similarities!!!! they don't have a clue on the difference between being themselves and imitating their parents. We humans imitate and simplify, that's why it is very easy to fall into that without noticing it. You know, repeating what your parents did, or being so affected you decide to be the opposite (exact opposite also means not being you, but the opposite reflection of someone).
 

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So I'm on the dating market and meet a lot of strange people..

One of them was this guy and he would very clearly say i'm not this and im not that.. So I had to ask, if he had a clue to what he was then.. And so my question to you.


Do you know who you are?

And do you care if the person you date have a sense of who they are?
I'm highly self aware but I'd be a fool to claim I know every little detail about myself.
If I didn't have a sense of who I was, then why would I expect it of my woman?
 

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Do you know who you are?
For the most part yes. Though I am constantly pushing and testing myself in different directions to various degrees.


And do you care if the person you date have a sense of who they are?
At least a sense. A meandering child who has no self conception is a chore to deal with. To the extent that I push myself to learn more about myself I would hope for the same from them as well.
 

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As far as potential relationships go there's nothing more dangerous then someone who thinks they knows who they are despite of reality, they have to have some flexibility and not be so preoccupied with a specific set of descriptions they've given themselves. and be able to consider and process conflicting information that doesn't fit with their self-image.

The other opposite extreme, someone who has little to no introspection and doesn't ask themselves questions about who they are and has no interest in exploring the question, is too vapid of a personality to take seriously.

The sweet spot is someone who is in a never ending process of trying to figure themselves out, but isn't dumb enough to think they already have.
 

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Beer Guardian
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A strong general sense of self is useful, but not absolutely required. :tongue:
 

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At this point in my life I know who I am and what I want, I have goals and aspirations. I have a clear understanding of my present self, but that doesn't mean it might change in time. We are always evolving, learning from mistakes, growing personally, mentally, emotionally, even physically; you don't stay young forever and can't say "this is how I want this to be forever", in the moment is fine but that forever becomes very stagnant. I know that today I have my mind prepared for a four year plan, I will then be 40, and my children will be 13 and 17, I know I have a sense of self and where I am headed. So to answer the question, yes, I know who I am...right now.
 

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At this point in my life I know who I am and what I want, I have goals and aspirations. I have a clear understanding of my present self, but that doesn't mean it might change in time. We are always evolving, learning from mistakes, growing personally, mentally, emotionally, even physically; you don't stay young forever and can't say "this is how I want this to be forever", in the moment is fine but that forever becomes very stagnant. I know that today I have my mind prepared for a four year plan, I will then be 40, and my children will be 13 and 17, I know I have a sense of self and where I am headed. So to answer the question, yes, I know who I am...right now. As for my partner, I would like to believe he has a sense of self, but discovering oneself is a matter of individualism.
 

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There’s a difference between having a narrow ego aka “that’s just who I am” defensiveness or closed mindedness and having a sense of self aka what you value, what you generally like, what you need, a decent and honest assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, etc. I think self awareness is important. I’d like to think I have self awareness, but like everyone, it’s always a work in progress and we aren’t static beings.

It’s definitely a key thing I look for in someone because I’m past the experimental stage of dating. It’s also a good indicator of emotional maturity as that takes awareness and emotional honesty with yourself. Granted, some people stop at awareness and don't mature...they continue to be stuck in an egotistical defensiveness.
 

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Since ultimately everyone is everyone else, the question is only deceptively relevant, playing on ego and delusions to arrive at meaning via those errors.

Still, preferences are moral in some sense, reason guarantees that. This is mostly true because reason integrated with wisdom demands that you select for wisdom in a partner, in companions, and in all relationships really.

But this does not excuse or deny a proactive role, that is connecting with someone less mature, less wise, and working with them to earn wisdom from living (suffering). Of course there are mountains of cop-out suggestions from expert sources demanding that you do not ask someone to change (heaven forbid). But I believe that challenging expectations have a proper role in all walks of life, integrating extroverted anger (part of love) back into the you you put forward.

Knowing yourself becomes synonymous with knowing others and then also knowing ... God ... or wisdom, whatever you wish to call the purpose of life, maturity, understanding, internal, external, and temporal harmony. If you become sufficiently wise or harmonious, you can flow with anyone and everyone.

A very large danger, a function of the ego, is to dwell on distinctions, 'Who are you?', 'Who am I?' rather than integrate those fallacy seeking aims with unity as an equivalent virtue.

"I’d flip through catalogs and wonder, ‘what kind of dining set defines me as a person?’" - Jack



"I look like you want to look, I fuck like you want to fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not." - Tyler Durden


 

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There is no fixate answer; and it is certaintly not satisfaction/stagnancy, but that is my current state that thrives through distinct types of stimuli, at 32, I may have no desire for this distinct types of nonsense, at 45, I have no desire for frequent coitus, at 66, I no longer crave certain types of humanoids that once appealed in the proximate, at 73, I no longer expect an older face - to age backwards when I turn over - or when a front a mirror. At 82, I only wish for silence and comfort because I have no capacity to do otherwise (e.g., ponder who I am / escaped the 'insanity' of never-ending self-fixations) - Observing the elderly, I often here visitors struggling with their feisty or now changed elders go "S/he's always been that way, but never realized it," or vice versa - (&) while attempting to communicate with the patient(s) of dementia when I visit nursing homes, for those specimen(s) not on (anti-psychotics for neurological degenerative diseases & other victims of deteriorating cognitive states), are surely eye-opening that "finding oneself," is a repetitious, progressive obsession, that never dissolves until the specimen realizes there is no 'permanent self to be discovered'. The "self"-avatar exists / fluctates / adapts to external stimuli in which inhabits. I will be contradicting (X)-desires / wants until I lack the capacity to make such errors - or at least discern them anymore... and perhaps, at one point, sick of such screwed-up contradiction(s); I may "settle" or not, for the smoothest screw in the wood.

The next time such a humanoid says: "Do you know who you are?"

A prosporous long-term proposal is responding with:

As trite and cliche as it is, "Let's find out....," (not that there is anything "to find," consider: developmental allergies with time progression to 'strawberries' not once present), the phrase suffices enough as a cluster of postulates tilting the ball down the hill for the romantics to create illusions of a journey to be travelled - (which some humanoids thrive best within) - fair enough, try regurgitating the question at 82; to hear the same genre, consisting of different songs, and see if the answer has become any less arbitrary / more coherent.

_____________

I can certainly answer what I can handle; what I cannot tolerate (and the certain type(s) of humanoids that either exceed or do not meet my needs), in the same way we can 'identify' (sleep / when a drug-user is under the influence - or when a humanoid is suffering from severe hallucinations/delusion(s)) - and that is quite enough to form a good bond/relationship with something - or someone, as demonstrated (re: history) - In the meantime, most humans (have taken the 'romantics') route for coping ghastly fact - and the anxiety stemming from it; utilizing ones 'stupidity / insanities' productively. :1892:
 

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Who I am is represented in what I became of where I was, what I become of where I am, and what I do with each moment. And what I choose to make of all that in reflection & paving life.

I guess I think I have a solid view of being in touch with myself. I do think always learning to try and find balance or insight for personal growth is to accept you can't have all the answers or even have any guarantees but you can use experience as a tool to always learn more.

Shrugs it's sorta yucky when people sound really lost and hollow but it is also equally yucky when people are too possibly egotistical in their self (out of touch). Learning to understand it's good to honor yourself whether it is with doubt or no answer or no guarantee or with certainty regardless either way I think is at least for me most ideal.

I don't have to know everything about myself all the time. But I do require myself to give personal assessments and consider various perspectives in hindsight. Hey dude ESTP unfortunately I learn in hind sight or in the moment. I guess I trust myself to do whatever crazy shit I am going to do and roll with the punches.

Eh what cliche box I fit into depends on the day and how I roll outta bed.

Eh politics, and social issues (beliefs) are not me. They are simply opinion based matters. Never have defined myself by views like that. I really do not actually define others by their view usually either. It's more so how they execute the view itself.
 

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I know exactly who I am in all ways, and if my significant other struggled to know what type of person they were, even though i could silently observe who they were from their actions and words, id still be very happy being with them through life
 

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Your are... Lovable!! :toast:
ok... who am i? i actually don't fully know who i am because i'm constantly changing. but wtf if someone tells me i'm not this and that i'd cut them out of my life because i don't need that type of negativity..
 
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