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Do you like to cuddle?

  • Yes

    Votes: 17 60.7%
  • No

    Votes: 1 3.6%
  • Sometimes: On/Off

    Votes: 7 25.0%
  • Only very briefly in sporadic intimate moments

    Votes: 3 10.7%
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was thinking about how black and white some of those cuddle questions were on that test for love languages.

Because I kept thinking well when faced between the priorities of choice and placement I ranked cuddling rather low compared to the other options.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 · (Edited)
Personally I both do and do not like cuddles.

I don鈥檛 like when it is in high demand and expected of me. Where I have to answer for, or my lack of cuddles is put into question to have a hidden meaning. Which I鈥檝e encountered in a few prior instances. Like that expectation and shit is super annoying because then I feel like it鈥檚 a chore.

But I don鈥檛 not like cuddling like ever. Like a warm embrace in the right moment is nice. Also I read many studies on attachment theory that correlated physical affection to sorta lay out the road map for this kinda thing. Even before I read much about attachment theory I鈥檇 known I needed to be more physically affectionate to my children than how I grew up. But sometimes it was still forced (not always) but sometimes.

I do believe in the importance of hugs and kisses etc in appropriation. As far as I think it does release endorphins etc and provides physical security etc.

Again I just don鈥檛 like it as a chore. Like it鈥檚 one thing to lay side to side and strum your hand along a lovers body. Vs playing big spoon and little spoon and then getting sweaty and having the awkward transition of pulling away when someone falls asleep on you and snores in your ear, lol. Or your limbs fall asleep etc.

I totally love sleeping with separate blankets. I can鈥檛 stand sharing a blanket. I also don鈥檛 like even sharing a queen bed. I sleep on a king bed just to myself. I like taking the blanket and wrapping myself up like a caterpillar.

I can鈥檛 stand when someone comes up and tries to randomly tickle or anything of the sort. I find unannounced tickling a physical violation. And have continually warned people you do it don鈥檛 blame me if I swing and hit ya outta reflex.

But it鈥檚 not like I don鈥檛 like any affection. I鈥檓 way more of a side to side rather than overtly spooning kinda person (that shit is suffocating).

I really don鈥檛 even see a problem with sleeping in separate beds or rooms. Especially if someone snores. Lol why do physical people view that as being unloved. Why the hell should I have to try to sleep through snoring to prove love to someone. Is it love to make me suffer through snoring 馃ぃ.

Anyways I vote only very briefly in sporadic intimate moments. Or like I said just sitting side to side with maybe hand on other person or arm around etc. leaning in. As far as my kids go, I always give them a kiss on cheek and a hug when either going to bed, or saying bye. And if they are upset or sick will go and embrace them and usually rub their head. I do try give them hugs sporadically too. I couldn鈥檛 even handle the damn cat constantly trying to be up in my shit. I mean I wasn鈥檛 mean to it. But I was just like omfg why do you need so much attention lol.

I absolutely do not like hugging acquaintances in greetings. Or shaking strangers hands. I鈥檓 a germaphobe when I鈥檓 outside my personal home environment. Shaking hands to me was gross way before Covid lol.

I remember once this weirdo at a bar tried to touch mine and my friends cheeks. I instantly snapped. And was like get your dick beater off our faces. We have no fucken clue if you washed your hands or not and we are not in a relationship with you. Aside from physical space violations I found it absolutely disgusting he鈥檇 think it ok to touch a woman鈥檚 face unannounced who he wasn鈥檛 with (that is so fucken gross 馃あ).
 

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Context drives, especially with whom. Presuming this is in relation to romantic partners, not in public. Quick hugs, hand holding, an arm across the shoulder/waist, light touch on the back or elbow, are fine. But cuddling can be nice in private and is a necessity in particular situations.
 

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I haven't been in a relationship or had sex or cuddled with anyone for over a decade so I can't really remember.

I do like cuddling, but I also get hot easily, and so I also like having my own space.

I think it's like an on/off thing--sometimes it's nice and I have preferences. I prefer to be the little spoon I think. I think it's just something you play by ear.

I had trouble with the 5 love language test I think...because if I was to like choose between someone touching me or getting a gift, I would think that the gift took more time--it would mean that the person thought of me when I wasn't around (which is important to me because that's how I treat romance too and it's part of why I think I wouldn't cheat...because I'm thinking of the person when they aren't around too)...it gave me gifts as my main love language, which is just not true. I do value gifts but I mean if I was to choose a relationship with no cuddling or no gifts, I'd choose no gifts.

I value my comfort and the comfort of th eother person--so sometimes that means being physically apart (like when it's hot) and sometimes it means cuddling?
 

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Cuddling is the most I've done tbh. But it was very nice.
 
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I was thinking about how black and white some of those cuddle questions were on that test for love languages.

Because I kept thinking well when faced between the priorities of choice and placement I ranked cuddling rather low compared to the other options.
I remember a time when I didn't, but then I was with a sensor who loved to touch me for 20 years. She got me used to it. When she was gone, I missed it.
 
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I've always had this recurring fantasy in which I lay on a couch with a romantic partner, and watch a movie while being held.

I have no idea why this has been so persistent, but in my mind it's never happened. And I also can't imagine that it actually hasn't, because I've been in relationships that lasted years and had cuddling etc. I am fairly certain that the scenario has actually happened, and yet whatever part of my mind that comes up with it sometimes insists that it's never happened before and poor me, because everyone else has done it but me.

I think maybe it's just I've seen it in films? Or tv shows? I mean...okay...well, maybe I haven't had a couch much of my life--so perhaps it hasn't happened because not everyone has couches.

It's just such a weirdly persistent fantasy. But I suppose that's considered cuddling.

edit: it is also not because I am fat. I was relatively tiny most of my dating life--though now when I think about it, perhaps I wouldn't be able to do this because I am fat. lol Even if I ever do date again.
 

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I was thinking about how black and white some of those cuddle questions were on that test for love languages.

Because I kept thinking well when faced between the priorities of choice and placement I ranked cuddling rather low compared to the other options.
No becuase I know that physical contact is suggestive and so being touched fills me with absolute panic.
 

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I've always had this recurring fantasy in which I lay on a couch with a romantic partner, and watch a movie while being held.

I have no idea why this has been so persistent, but in my mind it's never happened. And I also can't imagine that it actually hasn't, because I've been in relationships that lasted years and had cuddling etc. I am fairly certain that the scenario has actually happened, and yet whatever part of my mind that comes up with it sometimes insists that it's never happened before and poor me, because everyone else has done it but me.

I think maybe it's just I've seen it in films? Or tv shows? I mean...okay...well, maybe I haven't had a couch much of my life--so perhaps it hasn't happened because not everyone has couches.

It's just such a weirdly persistent fantasy. But I suppose that's considered cuddling.

edit: it is also not because I am fat. I was relatively tiny most of my dating life--though now when I think about it, perhaps I wouldn't be able to do this because I am fat. lol Even if I ever do date again.
Totally done this with several partners.
 

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They're nice from time to time.
 
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It's especially nice in the morning (into the afternoon, ideally). Lying and cuddling in bed throughout the day, forgetting the outside world exists can be one of the most wonderful times in life.
At night I do like it, until I get too hot and uncomfortable.
 
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