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MOTM January 2013
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I dunno, but I feel like I come accross a bit of a bad ass sometimes or certainly with a level of streetwiseness about me. Its so hard to show vunerability yet at the same time showing myself to be alpha female doesn't sit well either, I don't wanna be pushed over and I don't want to give an air of aggression off. Its like sitting in the middle of 2 identities. Strange huh?! Anybody else relate? FWIW, I am a huge pile of mush, its just that im scared of showing it.
 

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Lol. I know EXACTLY what you mean.

I have two identities as well. Its not even like Im trying to have two either. I think that is what confuses people. It takes people a while to realize that both of them are me. Usually, I come off very intimidating to other people (im sure my height has something to do with it as well), but I'm pretty playful when I warm up to them. I can also alternate between being very intense/ranting about something, and joking around in the next instance. I probably look bipolar or something to people, lol. Im not. I promise.

I would say the only time Im "mush" with someone is if I am involved with them romantically. I turn into the biggest marshmellow, but only with that person. Only they can bring it out. Though, I've never been with someone I could let all my walls down with, so it would be interesting to see what happens if I do meet someone I can be "vulnerable" with. I just feel like no one can ever really handle or understand what I really feel and who I really am (Lol, I sound like a 4).
 

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Not really. I'm soft on the outside and have a tough inside. I look harmless to be honest and seem nice even if I may come off a bit cold, distant and sometimes "stuck up".

Meh ok, can't really tell....I just switch so fast between hot and cold. I can seem tough, unmovable and highly willful, commanding when the situation calls for it, but that is because in that moment I amm all those things.
 

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I dunno, but I feel like I come accross a bit of a bad ass sometimes or certainly with a level of streetwiseness about me. Its so hard to show vunerability yet at the same time showing myself to be alpha female doesn't sit well either, I don't wanna be pushed over and I don't want to give an air of aggression off. Its like sitting in the middle of 2 identities. Strange huh?! Anybody else relate? FWIW, I am a huge pile of mush, its just that im scared of showing it.
Me to a T haha!
 

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I'm not a 6, but yes.
on the outside, I am cold, aloof, strong, even standoff-ish. on the inside, I'm still strong, but, to those I truly let in, I am warm, supportive and extremely affectionate. at the end of the day, I just wanna snuggle


 

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MOTM January 2013
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Discussion Starter #6
Sure. Cheers for your replies :) Trouble is, it all goes back to core trust stuff. Takes awhile to let those barriers down.
 

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Not really. I'm soft on the outside and have a tough inside. I look harmless to be honest and seem nice even if I may come off a bit cold, distant and sometimes "stuck up".

Meh ok, can't really tell....I just switch so fast between hot and cold. I can seem tough, unmovable and highly willful, commanding when the situation calls for it, but that is because in that moment I amm all those things.
This for me as well. That's also exactly what my mother told me today... that I look so sweet, nice, and tender and that I act the exact opposite of what I look like. ...and that I should act more the way I look. :angry:
Well... I can also act the way I look. But mostly I don't feel comfortable doing that.

And that's also one of the biggest problems of my life... that people don't take me seriously when I "try" to be assertive...then I'm either considered cute or annoying. It's a LOT easier if you also LOOK assertive. :dry: So be glad you people who look tougher than you really are!:unsure:
 
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For me, it really varies. There's some people that think I 'm soft on the outside, but cold on the inside, and there's others (admittedly the majority) that think I'm very tough on the outside, but then it stops there because they can't get past the tough spots enough to try and figure out what I am on the inside ^^. I actually know a few people who are very afraid of me, and yes, sometimes I give in to the hilarious temptation to scare them on purpose (usually with my death-stares). I guess on the inside, I'm a mix of both hard and soft. I have different aspects of myself and are very aware of them and usually only share them with certain people. Some people I'll share the harder side, some the softer more vulnerable side.
 

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Yeah,
Some people told me that i intimidate them, and between friends i act more like a badass maybe xd

But one time, somebbody told me what a "teddy bear" and "sweet" i was... I was like... WTF? o_O ( Actually more than once )
I feel more comfortable looking aggresive ( im a little sometimes), but doesn't last too long, mainly because im more empathetic (empathy is overrated) that i would like to be.
Im xNFP and 6w5 too, so maybe is something there.
 

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And that's also one of the biggest problems of my life... that people don't take me seriously when I "try" to be assertive...then I'm either considered cute or annoying. It's a LOT easier if you also LOOK assertive. :dry: So be glad you people who look tougher than you really are!:unsure:
Yeah exactly! IDK how to look tougher all the time but I sure can be a scary bastard sometimes. I guess its my face. Its very innocent looking :unsure:...damn genes. I'm engeneered by nature to look "harmless and pleaseant".
 

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I'm versatile. It depends on the settings. I work with the elderly, sick, handicapped, and I'm very polite. I pour on the old school charm and mainly am just blunt with them. I mean they will call b.s. because they have nobody to impress. They like that I understand (to an extent) what they are going through.

I have a professional front. I do that initially and then I ease my employer/coworkers into my more blunt, laid back, and semi-sweet side. In my one on one relationships (significant others) I am very giving but brutally honest. My boyfriend says he likes it, because it's motivating. He says I can get him to do things and there is no second thought about it, on his part, because I'm tricky like that. I grew up with 10 siblings in the ghetto. And did paper routes when I was 8 in the ghetto-est part of the city at 2 or 3 am on the weekends. So, I learned to deal with it. So, I guess strange men I don't know (or do...) of the opposite sex I'm kind of tough with.

But, other than that I'm pretty nice and all. And I'm even nervous to myself. But, I still take a deep breath and deal with most stuff. And I'm surprised at how tough I am with some stuff. Like manual labor or dirt biking or random stuff. Anyways, I don't think I have a mean front but I do definitely have a barrier that I don't let most people cross. But, I don't think I appear tough. Usually, just really giving, courteous, thoughtful, and for real.
 

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I consider myself feminine on the outside, although i make my boundaries clear making me appear a bit cold/standoffish. With people i know well i'm quite affectionate, i think this confuses people who i don't know so well as when they think they can warm up to me on that level then seeing how i become guarded and intense. I look right thought people as if i'm studying them and told i have a really serious side when observing. People can take me the wrong way because they don't know how to read me.

I smile a lot leaving people thinking its o.k to get close. If i feel they are getting too close i'll become intense, my body language shows this making people back off. I can't say for sure if this causes people to be afraid of me, although it certainly causes them to rethink their position becoming cautious as to how close they can get. Some people think i'm in a bad mood when i'm actually deep in thought, probably thinking about their motives. This makes them feel uneasy i can sense that. Once i let people in , i make everyone feel comfortable. I take vibes with people seriously, if i don't get a good vibe, i won't let you get close. If in dynamics that require cooperation, regardless if i connect or not, i can still make people comfortable.

I do have a gooey inside , not many people see that side of me. I guard myself and only let people i know well see my core.
 

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Type 1 here but, it depends the atmosphere. I suppose with me it is an on/off switch from 7 integration to 1 seriousness. 7 friendly and upbeat attitude comes out during play time, and serious 1 ways mode kicks on when I am goal oriented or become aggressive.
 

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Yeah exactly! IDK how to look tougher all the time but I sure can be a scary bastard sometimes. I guess its my face. Its very innocent looking :unsure:...damn genes. I'm engeneered by nature to look "harmless and pleaseant".
Don't worry, I feel your pain. My lord, do I feel your pain.
 
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People don't know me describe me as "scary", while my friends call me a "teddy bear". *shrugs* :tongue:.
 

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I come across as quiet, straightforward and very straight-laced; bossy even. As someone who is very hardworking.
Really though, I am a conflicted, searching individual who worries about doing my work but never does it; someone who loves talking to friends (only the ones I like though); one who wants to be accepted; one who wants to learn and make a change; one who has far too many feelings.
 

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I very much do.

But once people actually initiate contact or I reach out, it's easily seen that I'm not actually that tough at all (until someone pushes me and that only happens when they trample on one of my values). Therefore, I've been used plenty of times since that tough exterior proved to be nothing.

I guess it's partly the reason why I tend to not get close to people now. Small talk is good. Hanging out from time-to-time is good. But when it's prolonged, I lose myself. So now I value my solitude so much more, and I'm glad my tough exterior (and now my lone wolf behavior backing it up) keeps many people at bay.
 

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Alright now, let me describe my two sides.

From outside, I'm basically tom-boyish and I even intimidate some guys out there. I'm funny, 'emotionless' (that's how others think of me) and at the same time serious. I'm moody and a little hard-core. My attitude is basically like 'you pester me again, and I'm going to teach you the definition of the word 'fuck', so back off bitches. '
But from within, I'm typically ENFPish. Ie.-

But this trait is only visible to my closed ones, others will probably be shocked to see that even this side exists in me. [btw, I didn't put this picture to prove that I love hugs, it was just there to prove that I'm sweet and cuddly and I just love being playful]. But it's true that I'm moody, sometimes I shut off even in front of my closed ones. I'm not only gooey but also sensitive( damn Fi)
 
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I'm one of those people who is actually quite soft and gooey on the outside. ^_^ But I search for and hope I have a tough inside. I think my family sees that potential within me. I can see it sometimes too. But honestly, I feel like I'm a bit too soft n' gooey for my own good, sometimes. I wonder if it's a defense mechanism. A "Don't hurt me, I'm a cute puppy!" sort of thing.
 

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I'm one of those people who is actually quite soft and gooey on the outside. ^_^ But I search for and hope I have a tough inside. I think my family sees that potential within me. I can see it sometimes too. But honestly, I feel like I'm a bit too soft n' gooey for my own good, sometimes. I wonder if it's a defense mechanism. A "Don't hurt me, I'm a cute puppy!" sort of thing.
Seems to be a 6w7 thing... as far as I can tell all the 6w5s in here report being tough on the outside while all the 6w7s report being "gooey" on the outside. It's funny how there can be such a big difference between w5 and w7 of the same core type.
 
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