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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
ISTPs here have noted a great many traits in themselves that make them hard to read.

Being introverted and coldly logical can give the wrong impression to others.

So this has a lot in common with my type, the INTP.

But I am conscious of the way I come across to others. I put in the effort to express my emotions to my spouse.
When at work, I consciously decide to speak my mind, so that others don't think I am being snobby or uninterested when I'm not. I'm aware that my natural tendencies can be confusing, so I make an effort to portray myself as appreciative, friendly, or inlove, when I really am.

I try to improve myself by making efforts to be clear to others. I don't just say, I'm introverted and logical so I'm just going to be that way and let others get the wrong impression of me.


Do you guys make an effort to show people how you really feel and what you're really thinking, or do you not bother being aware of how you come across to others?
 

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Just kidding!

I dunno man, it really depends on the person I'm interacting with.

If I feel like I have something to gain by laying it on smooth, then I will.

If not, you really aren't getting much from me.
 

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ISTPs here have noted a great many traits in themselves that make them hard to read.

Being introverted and coldly logical can give the wrong impression to others.

So this has a lot in common with my type, the INTP.

But I am conscious of the way I come across to others. I put in the effort to express my emotions to my spouse.
When at work, I consciously decide to speak my mind, so that others don't think I am being snobby or uninterested when I'm not. I'm aware that my natural tendencies can be confusing, so I make an effort to portray myself as appreciative, friendly, or inlove, when I really am.

I try to improve myself by making efforts to be clear to others. I don't just say, I'm introverted and logical so I'm just going to be that way and let others get the wrong impression of me.


Do you guys make an effort to show people how you really feel and what you're really thinking, or do you not bother being aware of how you come across to others?
I think not making an effort (no matter the area) is to be shooting yourself in the foot. The only way to make a difference in one's life is to do the difficult stuff along with the things that come easy.
 

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I think INTPs and ISTPs are very similar but ISTPs tend to be a bit more likely to step on toes and put their foot in their mouth than an INTP.

Anyways, I tend to be considerate of these things. In my mind at least. I am probably still perceived as very frank and direct though. I think direct is the key world. I am always direct in my communications and if something is bothering me it wont take much for me to outright say it.

When it boils down to it:
I make an effort if i'm in a good mood.
I make some effort if an average mood.

I make no effort when in a below average mood.
 

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Um I remember making a tremendous amount of effort actually when I was I younger adult to maintain my relationships with close family, friends, work relationships. What I mean by that was going above what was necessary in many regards putting forth the effort to reach out and maintain. I placed phone calls. I made or bought many thoughtful gifts. I helped many loved ones.

Honestly I think my Fe in terms of feathering situations and people is quite developed. Its in combustion of anger from those I feel scorned from where its not developed.

But I do test extrovert as well. And am far more ambiverted. Which I consider has a lot to do with my enneagram.

Anyways tho I actually put a certain level of duty into my relationships that I considered mattered up until a few years ago. Prior to then I felt compelled to give my best effort and not use others actions to measure my own.

Anyways a couple of years ago I really got faced with a realty that has sense left me much more bitter towards most of my loved ones. Among my leaving an abusive spouse who gave me black eyes and chipped my tooth and verbally demonized me daily leaving him with all the assets as it was his home and I stayed at home per his request, my dad dying, my mom kicking me out (because I threatened to kill my little brother my moms baby boy because my daughter said he hung her upside down and pulled her pants down "as a joke" excuse me if I didn't see the humor) so got kicked out of my moms for threatening to kill my lil brother and calling him a fucker she literally locked me out when I stormed out to have a cigarette and wouldn't let me grab my stuff. And then I was homeless for a couple weeks with my kids, until I moved into an apartments that burnt to the ground. As well as having a job where I worked 50-60 hours managing which I often brought my kids to work with me as I didn't have a sitter. You know that analogy on you see peoples true colors when you hit rock bottom, well theres only a few people I respect 1 friend and 1 family member after all of that playing out. I look at some grown women who have their mother their holding their hand at a general doctors appointment for a check up, I was at a fire victim fundraiser alone with no one, the only person without a single loved one.

I am faded. This coming from a very passionate spirit that is pretty fucking hard to break. I hardly see the reason to fucking bother with anyone anymore like I used to. I mean outside common courtesy. I have had a lot of loved ones blow up my phone this last year I let it go to voicemail.

Probably why I vent here so much too, I got asked before why I come here so much.

People in general can fuck off!
 

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Not really. I do make an effort to appear more friendly to people I don't know very well since I've had a lot of people tell me they got the wrong impression of me at first, but, uh, I can't say it's all that successful. Too much work for something I don't care much about.
 

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I make as litte initial effort as possible, low expectations, easier to impress.

If it's people I know I'll show effort, mostly by doing.
 

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Personally, i only make an effort if there is personal gain. I also put forth effort for people that i care about or interested in otherwise i tend to not care. i have also recently been trying to appear more approachable (hence the smiley/friendly looking picture) so i guess that counts as "effort".
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I only know 1 ISTP and it seems like she's unaware of herself, or just thinks "this is the way I am, so deal with it."

But it causes her spouse to cheat on her, maybe due to thinking she doesn't care.

Nobody wants to feel that way from their significant other.
 

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I'm apathetic in general. Those who I count amongst my bestest of friends are the ones that know that I'm super apathetic. It's not that I don't like people or go through phases of just being busy with projects and life. They know by now that I don't go through a phase where I *hate* them or was offended by something they said.

There's no misunderstanding there.

I generally talk to people like I did the last time I left them. If I left you on bad terms, we're on bad terms (former INFP friend). You choose to pursue that, the first words out of your mouth better be an apology. If not, I don't have time for you and won't lose sleep over you, won't even spare you a thought. If I left you on great terms, we're on great terms.

I tell them that flat out too. "Don't take offense if I don't talk to you for awhile, throw me a random text and I'll answer." < communicating this to people is a huge thing I find for my relationships.

So that's what my friends do. :happy: I stay in mostly for financial reasons, but seriously, if I had a the money and some more time. I would be 100% able to hang out with a different group of friends every weekend. My family for the most part knows that they have to badger me if I want/need help with something.

So I don't make much of an effort, but I try to develop relationships with people or befriend people that don't require "work".
 

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I began making an effort when I realized that I was indirectly hurting friends and family by, almost literally, not giving a crap.
I actually spent a good while trying to improve my socializing; improving eye contact, general appearance, smiling more. Developing inferior Fe if you will, in Jungian terms.
Now, it comes a bit more naturally.
 
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