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Do you make excuses for everything you say and do?

1143 Views 8 Replies 9 Participants Last post by  sarek
Whenever I do something, anything really... I tend to launch into a small explanation about why I did it. And people have told me to stop saying sorry for everything I do and say, but I just keep doing it. I guess it's just the fact that a lot of things I do could easily be misinterpreted and I have a problem with people thinking something that I didn't intend them to think about me. I'd love to say I don't care about what people think, but it's just not true. I'm pretty sensitive to it.

Especially with people I don't talk to regularly, I don't like leaving them and feeling like they don't understand my intentions. Even just walking up to someone I used to work with, I'll say something awkward like, "Oh, I just saw you over there and I wasn't sure if it was you and then I realized it was and I figured I'd say something because..."
Yeah. It's pretty embarrassing.

Why do we do this and beat ourselves up about it? It's kind of funny, but completely ridiculous. Thank goodness for being able to laugh at myself, though.
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I can do this too.My real problem is apologizing when it just isnt necessary. I dont do it all the time, but sometimes ill get in a mood and I start to say "sorry" to pretty much everything. I do it to the point where people will start telling me to stop apologizing. I'm trying to stop, but its a hard habit to break.
My friends say that I do this too xD. I don't eve realize I'm doing it though
I really try not to, but sometimes I do. Depends on who I'm talking to.
I definitely do this - it's really annoying! I think it's because we assume everyone is trying to figure us out the way we instinctively figure other people out so we want them to be clear and to have all the information ... you know. But half the time they were just taking us at face value anyway (or not even really interested) so then they just listen to our ramblings with a look on their face of 'oh my god, the girl's a nut!' and we get embarrassed and behave even more nutty. Damn it!
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I just want to say this sounds exactly like me. Everything just sounds so perfect in your head until you try to spit it out to someone else, and then suddenly you are a bumbling, awkward mess. I am often way overconcerned with what others think of me and feel the need to justify my actions. Problem is that what makes sense in your head just doesn't make sense in words.

Likewise, with saying "sorry". I way overdue this as well. The habit just can't be broken, but often seems very submissive. But I have this ideal to be nice which conflicts with not saying sorry. The dellima. Although, at the same time I feel far more people in society need to learn to say sorry.
The worst is when you're halfway through a fumbled, clumsy, stuttering explanation of whatever nonsensical embarassing thing you just did, but you finally just give up and say "Uh...never mind..."
...but they don't take that for an answer, and INSIST on knowing whatever the hell you were doing. And you just don't know how to explain yourself in words other humans can understand...
i tend to start thinking "why the hell am i apologizing/explaining?" halfway through, while im doing it :p
No, I find I don't do that at all. For me sorry is really the hardest word. Its not pride per se, I think its a form of social anxiety.
And besides, with ADD screw ups are so common anyway that its often preferable to grow a thick skin and learn to weather the storms instead. Otherwise you'll end up seriously depressed.

My gf does a lot of apologising and I am trying to get her to do that less often. If you say sorry too often, you end up believing that you are a sorry person and that is definitely harmful for you.
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