Personality Cafe banner

1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
56 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I have noticed I do this sometimes, particularly with my extroverted/outgoing friends.

If I am around a close friend who is extroverted, I will become quite extroverted like them and I will even have enough courage to randomly talk to people I don't know. This is usually in a fun, loud way rather than in a serious way. I can think of at least two friends I've had in the past few years who brought extroversion out of me when I was around them.

I am wondering if this is typical of an INFP? Or is it just me? XD

In a similar way, if I'm around lots of reeeeally quiet shy people I get very shy myself. I don't have enough courage to try and get a shy person to have a conversation with me. But if I have an extroverted friend with me, I can do it - it's not so scary because even if the shy person doesn't respond well, I still have the extroverted friend to socially affirm me. Hope that makes sense.. !
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
616 Posts
-----Perhaps with an extrovert, you feel safe enough to talk?
-----With other introverts, there's no one to initiate--everyone wants to respond. But there's nothing to respond to if no one initiates. And an introvert would have to venture out of his/her comfort zone in order to initiate. An extrovert, on the other hand, is within his/her comfort zone when s/he initiates.
-----Conversations with extroverts can be delightful--so long as they are talking with you and not through you. Now it's me who hopes that makes sense!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
656 Posts
They say you're the average of the five ppeople you're around the most. I would agree! That's why its really important to surround yourself with the right people.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,684 Posts
I do that all the time. It's usually fine, but when I was turning into the person I was seeing while simultaneously being forcibly pushed away by them it really did a number on me. Overall, though, I think it just makes it easier to bond with those around you. It's almost like letting others see themselves in you and since self-preservation is a basic instinct it's what allows friendships and close bonds to form.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
616 Posts
Can you elaborate on this? I'm not quite sure I grasp what you mean.
-----Oh, sure, I'll try to explain! All I mean is that some extroverts just talk to hear themselves talk--they just need an audience (you) to use as an excuse to go into a monologue. They want you to stand there and goad them on as they deliver a speech--in other words, it's not really a conversation. Such people do not provide the "interactive" conversations I enjoy. I like it when each person contributes approximately equally--sharing, contributing, responding, and so on. The kind of extrovert that introverts like are genuinely interested in the other person--and in drawing out that rich inner self. Talking with = interactive conversation. Talking through = monologue.
-----Hope that clarifies what I meant. Sometimes I find my explanations end up muddling rather than clarifying. Hopefully that's not the case here! : )
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,521 Posts
I used to try to mirror other people's behavior. Then I went the opposite way, I WANTED them to see a huge clash in behavior, like I was provoking them to say something about it & they often did. I just got tired of hiding my individuality & disrespecting myself. I don't give it much thought anymore though. One thing I still do; I pick up their accents. I'm not even aware of it. It takes time but if I'm talking with someone with a different accent than mine, my own accent slightly shifts to theirs. From moving around over the years my accent has changed a few times & I only know that from people telling me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
56 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
They say you're the average of the five ppeople you're around the most. I would agree! That's why its really important to surround yourself with the right people.
Wow! I'd not heard this before, but it makes sense. A couple of years ago I became really good friends with an extremely broken woman - she was an alcoholic, a drug abuser, shoplifter, prostitute etc.. I really loved her and cared for her but the broken parts of her ended up hurting me. She lied a lot and did things for her own advantage without caring how they affected me. As a result I became a bit swayed by her opinions and behaviours (I have struggled with drinking in the past, and I started to drink a lot more when I was around her) - I generally became more obnoxious than I naturally am and I actually damaged another friendship because of the type of person I became around this particular woman. Not good!! I have since ended that friendship which was hard because I really wanted to be there for her and I feel as though I abandoned her in a way, but I am a much better person because of it. I had to learn that I couldn't help her if she wouldn't accept my help (and she was constantly pushing me away and lying to me). Very painful but it taught me a lot about myself and my friendships.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
56 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
-----Oh, sure, I'll try to explain! All I mean is that some extroverts just talk to hear themselves talk--they just need an audience (you) to use as an excuse to go into a monologue. They want you to stand there and goad them on as they deliver a speech--in other words, it's not really a conversation. Such people do not provide the "interactive" conversations I enjoy. I like it when each person contributes approximately equally--sharing, contributing, responding, and so on. The kind of extrovert that introverts like are genuinely interested in the other person--and in drawing out that rich inner self. Talking with = interactive conversation. Talking through = monologue.
-----Hope that clarifies what I meant. Sometimes I find my explanations end up muddling rather than clarifying. Hopefully that's not the case here! : )
Thank you! Reading you loud and clear now. Hehe :) Yes, I know some extroverts who do that. In fact, I know one woman who will ask you a question and then before you get the chance to answer will already start talking about something different. OR she will just start talking to someone else. So frustrating.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
56 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
One thing I still do; I pick up their accents. I'm not even aware of it. It takes time but if I'm talking with someone with a different accent than mine, my own accent slightly shifts to theirs. From moving around over the years my accent has changed a few times & I only know that from people telling me.
I have noticed myself doing something similar in the past. Not with all people, just a few that I can think of. I don't mimic their accent, but I will start to pick up their general style of speaking. This has only ever happened with other women, and it just tends to be when I'm explaining something serious. Lol. I'm not sure why! I have noticed I start sounding like my sister-in-law when I'm around her too.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,282 Posts
I do this sometimes. Around more talkative or outgoing people I feel more comfortable being that way myself because I feel it's accepted or expected. Furthermore, since it's almost always the other person who takes the initiative, sets the bar so to speak, I'm more comfortable slotting into that. But it has to be the right kind of outgoing, if they're too forceful then I'll just recoil. Around people who are more withdrawn I don't want to feel as though I am coming off as obnoxious or that I am boring them, because some people are difficult to read. I never change my accent or my diction, though, just my demeanour. I also tend to unconsciously pick up catchphrases from friends. I'm trying to work on becoming more centred within myself so I can interact more on my own terms, without giving too much power to the expectations of others. While I recognise this is a natural part of being human, I don't like how extremely anxious I sometimes feel because of it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Geoffrey

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,818 Posts
Yes, I am a dirty rotten function switching personality slut.

Ne---> dom is the most common switch for me, and pretty standard congnitively.
Ni also rubs off on me in a big way around INTJs for some reason, and other types given to be scientific.
Weirdly, Fe also rubs off on me a bit.
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top