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Discussion Starter #1
Sometimes I feel like I might be too compassionate and/or forgiving towards people. I'm generally very accepting and loving of others. I find it hard to see genuine flaws in people unless they personally attack my values or beliefs. I feel like people really are good at heart, but they might have been through hardships and pain that have morphed them into the person that they are. I can only count a few that I really believe are "mean" or "bad," and those are the people who have personally attacked me or my friends.

Do you guys do this too?
 

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I can think people are the worst ever in the heat of emotion, but usually if someone I know well shows a flaw I owe it to a mood, and think, "Well, I could easily make a mistake like that in the right mood."

I also tend to think of it in a sort of yin/yang thing sometimes, like this: "Well sure, they have that flaw, but they make up for it with their social skills/logical thinking/organisation/recognition of opportunities." So all the stuff I supposedly lack. That's a little jealous of me. ^^

I tend to think much worse of more extraverted people in a mixed group situation since I often only end up seeing the side of them that's looking hard for appreciation from others and avoiding me.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I can think people are the worst ever in the heat of emotion, but usually if someone I know well shows a flaw I owe it to a mood, and think, "Well, I could easily make a mistake like that in the right mood."
Exactly. It's like empathy comes so naturally that it's hard to condemn people because you're like "If I were in their position, I would probably feel that way and act that way, too."
 

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I do this for sure. I had a fairly close friend in high school whom everyone told me was no good. I just saw the good in him...Well he ended up shooting somebody during an armed robbery when he was a senior in high school. The funny thing is, I still see the good in everyone, but since then have viewed it as kind of a weakness.
 

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I'm actually pretty critical, noone is good enough :D But, yeah, I'm definately too empathetic...I'd rather harm myself than other people. I'm not really forgiving though. In fact, if someone hurts me I tend to totally dismiss the person.....
 
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Interesting. I'm usually also quite understanding of other people's actions, but that makes me suspecting. I usually open, but distrustful towards strangers until they made it undeniable that I can trust them. You ISFPs are way too sweet for this world. ^^
 

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I still see goodness in everyone, but now I am a little bit wary of people I don't know; I've been burned too many times to leave myself so vulnerable all the time. So, now, when I meet someone they start out being respected, and they either work their way up or down in my esteem and respect. Even in those who have worked hard to to dismiss any respect I might have had, I see the good. I just get frustrated that they keep blocking it.
 

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Sometimes I feel like I might be too compassionate and/or forgiving towards people. I'm generally very accepting and loving of others. I find it hard to see genuine flaws in people unless they personally attack my values or beliefs. I feel like people really are good at heart, but they might have been through hardships and pain that have morphed them into the person that they are. I can only count a few that I really believe are "mean" or "bad," and those are the people who have personally attacked me or my friends.

Do you guys do this too?
I do this a lot. I on't know, it might have to do with strong Fi? I think that we empathize with others a lot so we use the "in their shoes" thinking. Your thoughts?
 

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I'm actually pretty critical, noone is good enough :D But, yeah, I'm definately too empathetic...I'd rather harm myself than other people. I'm not really forgiving though. In fact, if someone hurts me I tend to totally dismiss the person.....
I'm the same. I can be very stubborn when I've been wronged. I am highly empathetic though and if someone gives me a good reason, I do forgive.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I do this a lot. I on't know, it might have to do with strong Fi? I think that we empathize with others a lot so we use the "in their shoes" thinking. Your thoughts?
I think it has a lot to do with empathy. When someone lashes out at me, of course it hurts. I don't automatically forgive people, but it's hard to say, "I'm not going to forgive you," when you know that you probably would have done the same thing if you were in their position and had been what they had been through.
 

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I think it has a lot to do with empathy. When someone lashes out at me, of course it hurts. I don't automatically forgive people, but it's hard to say, "I'm not going to forgive you," when you know that you probably would have done the same thing if you were in their position and had been what they had been through.
Yeah, you're right. Fi is strong.
 

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I do think ISFP see the good in people, although one thing i have noticed about my ISFP bestie. She is often underestimated. Big mistake, she isn't someone to mess with ;) She may come off as sweet and innocent although if you cross her, look out .
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I do think ISFP see the good in people, although one thing i have noticed about my ISFP bestie. She is often underestimated. Big mistake, she isn't someone to mess with ;) She may come off as sweet and innocent although if you cross her, look out .
YES! THANK YOU! This is exactly how I feel sometimes!
 

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To avoid confusion I just want to clear out the definitions as I use them. Empathy = Absorb self to what the other is feeling. Sympathy = Intellectually put yourself in someones position and relate through yourself in their position rather than direct emotional absorption.

I find this thread very interesting as I have little to no empathy for adults in general, but find it for children and animals. I do have sympathy for adults in general, and that with guilt makes me synthesize empathy I think, but it can be awkward when someone you love cries on your shoulder as I don't feel anything. But on the other hand I think some have found comfort in that I can listen yet remain calm for them. I find it a bit weird to be able to intensely feel sorry for someone, yet may have a very hard time feeling anything when someone is crying.

So to answer your question, no, I don't see good in everyone. I guess that I can sympathize for most part, but I also find myself thinking stuff like "Breivik is nothing but a waste of space, and when he dies I will celebrate"
 

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Ahh, yes! I find it so difficult to hate people that it seems all my friends hate, or have negative opinions on them. For example, almost everyone I know hates this one maths teacher at my school. I mean, he isn't the best teacher, but maths is a really difficult subject in general, and his reputation has been passed down from student to student. Most people can't stand him, they think he's horrid, and just continually disrespect him. And all the while I was in his class, I help terrible for the guy. I couldn't see anything he was doing wrong! I got grades no different with him than with the maths teacher I had the previous year that almost everybody loved. When I friends used to complain about him, I would just say "oh, I don't know. I think he's alright". Or something along those lines. I think eventually they just stopped talking to me about teachers. |D;;

Unless someone's really hurt me, which are few and far between, I just can't help but see the good in them. If only my friends got that.. :'D
 

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Discussion Starter #16
To avoid confusion I just want to clear out the definitions as I use them. Empathy = Absorb self to what the other is feeling. Sympathy = Intellectually put yourself in someones position and relate through yourself in their position rather than direct emotional absorption.
That's what I meant. It's like I can feel what they feel, so it's hard for me to judge them. I can separate myself when necessary. Everyone knows of that one person who cries hysterically over the slightest little comment. But other than that, I feel like it comes far too easily for me to feel exactly as the other one feels. It's like the event they are upset over happened directly to me.
 

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Yeah I'm the same. I see the good in most people. I see the good intentions behind things, even if it seems like it wasn't so, if you know what i mean.

If someone i'm with points out flaws and says bad things about people, or if someone does something seemingly off i usualy spin it around and say that theres gotta be some good or genuine intention behind it, Or "they might just be having a bad day" upon someone saying that so and so is an **** for speaking like that... you get the idea...

I basically just look at things from the "victims" perspective...i'm very subjective lol...

EDIT:

I would like to add taht

I find it difficult to hate people that most of my friends and peers hate as well! I've never gone with the "mutual hate" thing. I empathize soooo much with people that I find it very very hard to judge others, or to hate them unless I have real grounds to do it on.

At the same time, I have the uncanny ability to tell the scumbags from the first `meeting`
 

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Once a friend got pissed at me because I didn't dislike/wasn't annoyed by as many people as he was. Also I noticed at work I tend to get along with everyone while everyone complains about someone else to me. If there are people I don't care for....I just avoid them.
 

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I was very trusting, now I'm not so much :( Been hurt too many times by people.
 
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