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When I'm in a relationship I don't look at other men in a sexual or romantic way, whether in my partner's presence or not. I take my commitments very seriously. I suspect that most people don't think there's anything wrong with checking out other people, as long as it doesn't go beyond looking, but I can't help but find it completely hypocritical. Do INTP's tend to take their commitments more seriously than other types?
 

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When I'm in a relationship I don't look at other men in a sexual or romantic way, whether in my partner's presence or not. I take my commitments very seriously. I suspect that most people don't think there's anything wrong with checking out other people, as long as it doesn't go beyond looking, but I can't help but find it completely hypocritical. Do INTP's tend to take their commitments more seriously than other types?
weirdly i am exactly the same as you, if i am single, i am checking people out, love admiring beauty. But if i have a girlfriend, then i see it as she is the only person i will look at, i honestly don't even have a reason why.

It just seems wrong, i am with that person and i respect and want to be with them, there is no actual need to check anyone else out. because i am already in a relationship. so i don't
 

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黐線 ~Chiseen~
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If the world was a buffet, INTP's usually aim for one kind of food even though there's a bazillion varieties of dishes available.

It's only IF the dish chosen tastes like crap will the INTP move on to another food. but usually stick with the primary 'want'...

*everyone wants king crab legs. you gotta fight for them, dammit! you gotta be FAST too!*
 

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iNtp sp/sx x84
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No.

I take such commitments strongly but then the perception of how strong my commitment is often leaves those flighty nitwits of love believing its no such commitment at all. But that's true enough... why stop at two when you can lower the cost of rent by three or more.

Why pretend that I wouldn't look at another just to make you feel more secure... if you're that insecure then chances are you would doubt me anyway... it's a rather frivolous game isn't it? Rather a bit more hypocritical, wouldn't you say?
 

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Well, with my limited experience, . . not really.

But what I did notice is that when looking at an attractive women when I was in a serious relationship, the potential arousal was transferred at a point. Let me try to explain it more clearly.
I'd start looking at an attractive woman, got aroused to an extent, then my thought-process switched to the one I was in love with, and the arousal was transferred to her.

Maybe it's some kind of weird (generalisation/linking) Ne-thing?
 

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I don't actively scan the room for attractive people or anything, but sometimes they just jump out at me, and my brain is like, "Damn, he's hot." Regardless of my relationship status, I notice attractive people.
I do the same-- but just because I think they are physically attractive, doesn't mean that I have any desire to be with them.
 

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iNtp sp/sx x84
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why not take all this a step further...

do you still engage in solo, alone, masturbation when you're involved in a relationship?

And if so, does that also include additional stimuli, such as looking at porn or having fantasies...

if you do watch porn or have fantasies... is it always of your partner?

And if the fantasies are about your partner... is it a realistic representation of them or a more idealized version?

(Sure we could add the same with the porn... but it's remains unlikely that your partner would provide you with porn of themselves to masturbate to... those lovey dovey types tend to be prudes.)
 

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黐線 ~Chiseen~
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if you do watch porn or have fantasies... is it always of your partner?
~ The internet is for porn ~ The internet is for porn ~ grab your dick and double click for porn, porn, porn ~

 

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I don't know if it's anything to do with my type but I take my relationship commitments pretty seriously. I usually don't see other men as attractive, and if I do, I tell my SO immediately and just hope he'll be the type to joke it off with me. I also try not to be jealous if he finds another girl attractive - as long as he tells me and doesn't flirt with her, I don't really care about it.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
why not take all this a step further...

do you still engage in solo, alone, masturbation when you're involved in a relationship?

And if so, does that also include additional stimuli, such as looking at porn or having fantasies...

if you do watch porn or have fantasies... is it always of your partner?

And if the fantasies are about your partner... is it a realistic representation of them or a more idealized version?

(Sure we could add the same with the porn... but it's remains unlikely that your partner would provide you with porn of themselves to masturbate to... those lovey dovey types tend to be prudes.)
I only have romantic thoughts about my partner. If I chose to have romantic or sexual thoughts about other people, I wouldn't pretend to be in a monogamous relationship. I don't see the point.
 

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So monogamy means directing all of your energy toward one person? All of it, all the time?

No wonder most marriages end in divorce. And the sex sucks. I'd be upset if my partner wasn't attracted to other people at times. That would be creepy...

No one person will ever fulfill all of your needs, nor would any one person even want to (that would be too draining, and too much to ask of any one person). Any relationship that's so hermetically sealed is codependent and it's unhealthy.
 

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My experience is that my eyes will still wander, but I do feel a need to contain myself. I generally do not let my thoughts go any farther than looking itself. It is more of a habit so I can't really get out of it. But yes, if I am in a relationship, randomly staring at a girls ass for a long period of time would irk me a bit (aside from the repercussions of getting caught).
 

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iNtp sp/sx x84
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I only have romantic thoughts about my partner. If I chose to have romantic or sexual thoughts about other people, I wouldn't pretend to be in a monogamous relationship. I don't see the point.
If you chose to have romantic or sexual thoughts.... kind of saps the air out of that whole love mystique... so, wouldn't it all be a bit redundant anyway?

And do you think its realistic to expect your partner to do the same? Or would you prefer they lie to you instead?
 

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I don't really actively think about sex at all. Even when I'm single. I find girls attractive, but I just don't really take my thoughts any further usually unless there's some other kind of connection.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
I don't actively scan the room for attractive people or anything, but sometimes they just jump out at me, and my brain is like, "Damn, he's hot." Regardless of my relationship status, I notice attractive people.
I am still able to state when someone is good looking (I am not blind), but for me there is zero romantic or sexual interest.
 

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And do you think its realistic to expect your partner to do the same? Or would you prefer they lie to you instead?
A lot of women are exceptional at deluding themselves on this front. They castrate themselves for a purity ideal, expect the guy to do the same, but he doesn't (of course), then the sex sucks, thus the guy is even more driven to seek out other people. And so on as the relationship approaches the event horizon...

"Players" have radar for women like this... they seek them out because they can exploit them so easily. Ever seen a guy pull a successful pump and dump on a woman who didn't have a naive set of ideals regarding monogamy? I haven't...
 

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Discussion Starter #20
If you chose to have romantic or sexual thoughts.... kind of saps the air out of that whole love mystique... so, wouldn't it all be a bit redundant anyway?
Not really. I'm Ti dominant, quite intentional with my thoughts, feelings, and actions.
 
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