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I suck at this so badly. Even with friends, if there's more than, say, 4 people, I cannot for the life of me seem to break into the conversation. I always feel so awkward, people talk over me, and when I do try to get a word in I feel like I'm interrupting. It seems so effortless for everyone else, but I can't seem to get the timing right. Other people pick up on it and the whole thing is just pitiful.

Anyone else have this problem?
 

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oh, god, yes. i have huge problems on this. timing in large groups is an art i just can't do. it's like when i finally got something to say i never get the chance to say it, or when i do it comes off as too abrupt and fails horribly. mostly the only things i can think of is adding to the conversation with facts, but even that is hard to do for me. usually it's like they are talking about some trivial subject like photos, and then i say something like "hey, polaroids are back in style again i heard". then they're like "yeah, umm", then they continue their conversation and i'm thinking "fuck this then".
 

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YES.

But then again I like to observe, so when everyone forgets where they stashed the weed, I point it out to them, expressionless.
 

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"hey, polaroids are back in style again i heard". then they're like "yeah, umm", then they continue their conversation and i'm thinking "fuck this then".
sounds familiar. group socializing is definitely a power of the extrovert. They are basically just using their natural functions (Te, Fe,etc) to communicate meaningfully and naturally. It's funny when you can get some of these people who seem so sharp in a group down to 1-1, you notice their thoughts are just not moving so quickly.
 

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It is rare for me when the topic is interesting in large groups. Usually I have zero interest in the subject and get bored. I will not feign interest for group speak purposes. I sometimes have made exception for the sexy or the interesting.


"i 'yams whats i ams and that's all that i 'yams" - Popeye
 

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Depends. If they are talking about a subject that interests me, I can add to the conversation quite well.

If it's X Factor or some shit like that I stay out of it. Time for another drink.:laughing: I work with 3 extroverts, so I get daily practice in "getting myself heard".
 
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To the OP, I answer yes to your question. I deal with groups constantly in the military and I have face the exact problems that you described.

If it's an important topic, I quietly speak my advice to a someone sitting right next to me not engaged in the conversation. Granted he/she is an extravert, he/she will likely act as my spokesperson and spread my idea across the table if the person sees it as legitimate. Alternatively, I just wait for the period of, "do you have any questions?", and use that opportunity to express my thoughts to everyone.

In unprofessional settings, I discovered that it's helpful to use hand gestures when you're ready to speak. For introverts, actions like these can grab attention. So, follow through like this. When the conversation enters "pause" mode, start with the gesture and then freely speak. Additionally, when you speak, speak boldly. You do not have to necessarily speak loudly. Boldness is more attractive to the listeners for bold speech naturally contains the air of respect in it.

It's not going be easy at first. Just practice these tips when you encounter group scenarios and it will feel natural for you over time.
 

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But then again I like to observe, so when everyone forgets where they stashed the weed, I point it out to them, expressionless.
That's like me. Minus the weed.
When someone asks a question about the current conversation, they are probably going to get mowed over and ignored. That's where I come in. When someone has a question, I'm the one who fills them in quietly on the side.
I'm not necessarily in the conversation, but I'm holding it together.
 

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I just don't even bother talking and play video games or something. Or wonder if there is any easy ways to create muons and, therefore, make cold fusion (in the form of muon catalyzed fusion) possible, which in turn opens the door into the era of space travel.

Not like anyone will listen to me/care or anything, so why share it with others? Thank god for the internet.
 

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I'm generally the person sitting in the back, picking actual data out of their talking and stringing it into sentences. The average is 10 sentences/hour. However, when I try to break in, everyone seems to be talking at once and I have to talk over someone else, which makes me feel very awkward. If it's just me and someone else, it's generally punctuated by silences (usually awkward on my companion's part, and liberating for me), but if there are two people prior to my inclusion, I begin to feel overwhelmed. Groups of three are my limit.
 

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I just happened to glance upon this thread right before I venture out for a hiking trip tomorrow with 16 other people :dry:
I'll just plug my ipod into my brain and immerse myself in nature, that's probably the best way to go about it.
If I close my eyes I might start moving in slow motion though....
 

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1-3 people in a calm environment is my preference. As more and more people form a larger group, I become quieter, observe, become bored with the topic, daydream, leave the group and engage with another person.
 

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This is an introvert problem. It's chaos and rapidly draining. Last time I said fuck it and put my head down. (Say you're really tired and most won't care) Small group, like minds, similar theory and life is good. Approval oriented volume centered societal chaos is far from ideal.
 

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Essentially, anything more than 0 is too much.

I suck at talking with even one person (more Social Phobia than Iness), so this is just fun fun fun for me. Before I took my official 5-month break from giving a crap about socializing, I would sit nervously, failing to ever say anything, usually because I can't seem to find a way to get into the conversation.

Now, I still sit nervously, but I tell myself 'fuck them, I'm doing alright', and I can sometimes say something.

My nervousness goes up exponentially as you add people. (It goes up only incrementally for people who are not in the conversation, but still in earshot/sight.)
 
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I always have the problem that by the time I grab focus, or there's a natural break where I can interject, the conversation has passed the topic on which I want to comment. In the meantime, I'm stuck wondering whether I should keep the thought fresh in my mind for when I get a chance to speak or just let it go and find a new opportunity to speak.
 

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I still have problems with these, even just sitting at home talking with my family. Like many people have said, usually when I want to say something the topic has already moved on. In large groups I hardly ever talk, I sit and observe. People usually don't notice, which is fine by me. Usually when I have something to say I'll raise my hand and wait for someone to notice me. That's the only way I've found I can interject into conversations. I prefer one-on-one, because even with three people including me, the other two will go off on a tangent, and I'll be stuck listening to whatever boring drivel comes spilling out of their mouths.

(wow, I used the word usually a lot.)
 

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I usually suck at the timing...a lot of times I'll do what others said and wait too long until the subject has changed. I also do the whole thing where I tell my idea quietly to an extrovert and they usually then present it to the group. I just started a "group discussion" class in college so maybe I'll learn something from that...though it looks like my group is made up of 5 introverts and one extrovert so there may just be a lot of awkward silences.
 
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