It really depends. Now and then I can come off as hyper-sensitive, but that isn't so.... for most people or situations I am lenient to the point of letting everything slide, only certain persons and situations (things they misunderstood) really set off that need.
It also depends on how I'm "misunderstood".
For example--- someoone tells me I am "really nice" or "bitchy", "shy" or "crazy and outgoing". These are all traits that someone have seen in me, although they are conflcting statements, and I have been told all of these, by separate people, or the same people at separate times. It's just a matter of seeing me in different situations or with different people. For example, I am radically different with those I am 'close' to or have ties with than even aquaintances I see every day. It's a total 180. But anyways, so I don't think of myself as "really nice" or as "bitchy", or as shy or crazy and outgoing, I see myself in terms of why these traits may be manifested. So when somoene tells me these things, I will not be offended, because I understand that is there perception of me. I am not an extrovert. my traits are not manifested for all to see; I do not constantly project who I am. And I'd be uncomfortable if people DID know everything about me or how I see myself unless I chose to expose it with them. So it doesn't really matter what they think the "sum" of my personality is when I know it is only part of the whole.
What would offend me is when someone contradicts my authority on myself. For example, I got unusually upset at a friend when she told me that I am always analytical and never easy-going and I told her, "Oh, that's not true, there's different sides to everyone". And she told me, "I think you'd like to think that". I got really defensive and angry/hurt over that. I didn't care so much that she said she thought I was never easy-going, but the part where she contradicted that I havew self authority, that made it seem like she had ultimate perception of me and I didn't, really made me angry. It invalidated all other aspects of myself and most importantly, my self-understanding. Which is my identity. So when she said that, it frightened me in the way I suppose an 'attack' does. Whereas other people's statements on their perceptions of me don't really feel like attacks.
It's a weird difference, I guess. Because if someone said, "You are bitchy", I probably wouldn't say, "Oh, I don't think so, there's other sides to me." But with my friend I felt I had space to defend myself and that she should better know the differents ides of me, so I did that. With soemone I didn't really know who called me bitchy, if I corrected them and they said, "oh sure think what you like", that would also offend me greatly, but I never press the issue and let them go their way and me go mine... I don't know why that is not the preferable choice of action for a friend. It saves conflict. I suppose I didn't expect a friend to respond so to me!
Similarly my dad offends me all the time by telling me what I'm thinking or feeling. I think he can't read what's going on with me, Fi is his very last function, and a lot of time i find it preferabble to leave things unsaid, especially negative impressions I'm having or even my own, private happy thoughts, but this makes him uncomfortable and he'll like, paste words over the silence. "Now, I know you're mad at me...", "That's stupid, adverseaffects is thinkign", "I know you don't want to hear this because you need to feel superior but blah blah blah". It's just that he's always wrong about what I am thinkinga nd why. He can tell if something is bothering me, but he can't understand the legitimacy of the reasons or the thought-process behind it, and if I try to explain he can't understand it and thus it is considered not valid or real, so he goes on projecting reasons onto me. Thus I don't talk, and he feels the need to project reasons onto that too.
And yes, this offends me. I don't like when people speak for me or act like they know my motivations. If they do know them and say soemthing accurately, I won't mind, but if they're wrong I get worked up in a flurry.
