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So when your partner does something that makes you upset, do you tell him what made you mad upfront and clearly explain why it hurt you and what your expectations are at that point? Or... Do you sit on it. steam over it for a little wile. Then when you confront him get even more pissed off because he didn't catch your very subtle hints hat something was wrong, and then become even more angry when he becomes defensive, because he didn't know anything was wrong?

My SO has been pissed with me for over a week because of something that I said in a txt...

Long story short...(and for added drama... I'm a male INFP and she is an ENTJ...(fireworks.. all the time...:tongue:)) I didn't know she was upset for over 2 hours after I said it... and even then she didn't say she was angry over it, just that she was thinking about what I had said that morning. When I asked what it was that she was thinking over, she gave me a "WHATEVER!!" and moved on with her conversation. When we talked at lunch that day I asked her what was wrong about what I said. which she replied with a "Really??? your going to play stupid like you don't get it?!?" I honestly didn't know she was upset until I received the "WHATEVER" , and didn't know the full magnitude of how upset she was until later that night. her anger started to layer with thinking that I knew she was angry from the beginning, and became more angry when I denied that I knew... after finally learning how what I said upset her, I sincerely apologized, and owned what I said and how it was wrong.
In the days following... she remains angry, and distant, and nothing I say or do seems to be right. When I ask what is wrong, I get a "I can't believe you have to ask me!!" I get told that I'm doing nothing to fix our relationship and that I act like I don't care... Note: before this... Things were going great between us...

I finally find out tonight, after seven days, that she is still upset because we never settled the argument over when I realized she was mad at me.... So we have this argument about who said what when and who's version of the events is accurate, and at what moment I new something was wrong.... Seriously??

I even fear this might be a relationship ender between us... :sad:

Please.... if something pisses you off... SAY SOMETHING... and get it over with...

sorry, my questions turned into a little bit of a vent...:crazy: Thanks for listening:wink:.
 

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Solution 1: Try to work it out
Solution 2: Tell the crazy bitch to take a chill pill
Solution 3: Bend over and swallow your pride and apologise for something that seems to be simple misscommunication
 

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My SO has been pissed with me for over a week because of something that I said in a txt...
I've never understood the point of getting pissed off with someone and dragging it out for days or weeks. It just seems like a massive waste of time, especially over such insignificant things. She sounds like a major drama queen.
 

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I've been the girl in this situation and I know that all I wanted was the other person to beg me to forgive them. Its immature and I know that now:crazy:. I think you should stand up for yourself. You shouldn't have to apologize (more than once!) for a silly small comment you made. If she can't suck it up and move on or can't take you standing up for yourself then you need to move on. You deserve someone more mature hun!!
 

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Are you sure that she is an ENTJ? I despise those sorts of games. I never play them. ENTJ females are more likely to come out and tell you to your face what they are upset about and demand an apology so that it doesn't drag on (that sort of "forward" behavior has its own issues, of course). What you have been experiencing is a complete waste of time and energy. That is just not how we ENTJ ladies roll, mature or not.

Maybe she is an ESTJ?
 

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You'd be surprised of people do's and don'ts spite typology.
 

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She's being incredibly immature.

Yes, if I'm upset, whoever did it is going to know. They apologize, I go back to whatever it was I was doing, and thats the end of it. It takes a lot to upset me in the first place too. I'm just not very melodramatic.

Personally, I agree with the comment about standing up for yourself. You did something wrong that was probably pretty minor in the scope of things, you apologized, and its time for her to move on. Don't keep kissing her ass and letting her rehash the argument. If the relationship ends, its probably for the best. She has some growing up to do. Either that or she really needs to see a therapist to learn to deal with anger and get affirmation in ways that aren't destructive to relationships.
 

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Maybe she told you before and you reacted in a way she disliked? just a thought.

But I do tell him. I wish I was able to tell my parents and friends though.. those I have problems telling.
 

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I don't really need to tell him as I'm pretty obvious when I'm mad. Not that I start yelling and screaming or anything, but usually say something like "are you serious?" in my annoyed voice. This doesn't happen much either as most things couples fight over I don't find worth it.
 

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You know OP, I get the feeling that theres more to this than one silly throwaway comment that you apologised over.
Reading your post, it seems to me that you have a classic form of a typically male disease, although some females deliberately cultivate it too,.. its 'Im pretending to be clueless-itis'
I think you knew earlier that you'd upset her,.. despite protesting that you did not,.. and then, her point about having to trawl through what you said, why it was wrong, etc etc.. seems to me like shes had to do this more than once with you.
This isnt just one isolated incident,.you have Fi, and thats a bitch to get through, and even an ENTJ will eventually just sigh, and give up, rather tha banging their heads against a brick wall.
You mentioned fireworks all the way..uhuh, doesnt sound like a promising foundatuon.. and you seem to be have no clue as to when you've upset her? Why is that do you think? Really, think about why you can upset someone and not even know you did it. its either that you're insensitive, or shes too sensitive, either way, you two dont sound compatible..if its hard fecking work to communicate, like it seems to be for you two, then maybe its not worth the bother, for either of you.
G. x
 
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