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Do you think people appreciate efforts to be hospitable to others these days?

Do you think being hospitable is an important dimension to life, and if so why?
 

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In these days of paranoia and a healthy dose of mistrust, some forms of hospitality are put off on the wayside. Gone are the days when we would accept rides from strangers or keep our front door open so that people, friends or strangers, could walk in and say hi. That said, there are still plenty of nice things to do for others, and I think people still appreciate the gesture (e.g. paying the toll for the car behind you or even just opening the doors). I definitely agree that hospitality is an important dimension to life though, because extending your help to others in need is just one way to feel connected to people in general.
 

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I think being hospitable is a very important thing, but now a days, it seems like being nice or pleasant is unwelcome in some cases. A month ago, I was hanging out with one of my guy friends, and he opened a door for this lady. You know it's polite to do that. But the lady got all angry and said, "You're just doing that cuz I'm a woman! Stop that, and leave me alone. Stop being such a F***ing sexist". I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was she saying that she'd rather him close the door on her? he was just being polite. He opened the door for gentleman behind her, too. He wasn't just doing it cuz she was woman, and but even if it was for that... what's bad about a man being courteous to a woman? That's not sexist, that shows respect to woman...
 

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Auntie Duckie
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I'm very unwelcoming of strangers around my home. It's the one place where I drop all friendly tones and treat people with suspicion. I'm not a big fan of people walking around where I live and snooping or prying into my life.

Example... I was working outside earlier this summer and some random dude walks by and starts trying to engage me in a conversation. I was clearly working and not interested, and I kept watching him scanning the contents of my garage. I ended up being very blunt with him and asked him to leave.

Could he have been some neighbor that I haven't met yet and all he had was friendly intentions? Sure, it's possible, but I wasn't in the mood to take that chance. I tend to get defensive about my home.

If I invite someone over for dinner, that's a completely different scene. I go all out, using the best china plates & glasses, cooking a great meal, etc...

I have a tiny group of friends that could just show up at my doorstep and be treated with full hospitality.

Perhaps that's just my 9w8 side showing

:kitteh:



-ZDD
 

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I think being hospitable is a very important thing, but now a days, it seems like being nice or pleasant is unwelcome in some cases. A month ago, I was hanging out with one of my guy friends, and he opened a door for this lady. You know it's polite to do that. But the lady got all angry and said, "You're just doing that cuz I'm a woman! Stop that, and leave me alone. Stop being such a F***ing sexist". I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was she saying that she'd rather him close the door on her? he was just being polite. He opened the door for gentleman behind her, too. He wasn't just doing it cuz she was woman, and but even if it was for that... what's bad about a man being courteous to a woman? That's not sexist, that shows respect to woman...
Poor guy. I know this happens and that holding a door for a woman can now be a big risk to get your head ripped off, which makes me all the more happy when a man holds a door for me, and I always smile and thank him.
 
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Poor guy. I know this happens and that holding a door for a woman can now be a big risk to get your head ripped off, which makes me all the more happy when a man holds a door for me, and I always smile and thank him.
yeah :( me too. And my friend was raised and taught to be polite to women, so I felt rather bad that he had to be yelled at for something like that.
 

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Auntie Duckie
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Poor guy. I know this happens and that holding a door for a woman can now be a big risk to get your head ripped off, which makes me all the more happy when a man holds a door for me, and I always smile and thank him.
I always hold the door open. I guess I've been lucky enough to have never encountered someone upset by it.

-ZDD
 

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Confession: I adore the gentleman-ism & hospitality (male) ESFJ’s exhibit and am glad they’re still out there!!! Additionally; one of my closest friends is an ESFJ and even though sometimes I need to dig deep in order to find out what it is that HE wants (instead of always pleasing others); he’s one of the best things in my life! Never stop being yourselves ESFJ’s!
 

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I was visiting my friends in a monastery this spring. (Yep, many of my friends are monks.) After a silent dinner I got talking with one of them, an xSFJ. While we we talking a senior brother came over and reprimanded us (mostly him) for socializing instead of cleaning up. (Sort of like the classic Martha and Mary story, right?) My friend conceded then, but the next time I saw him he had something he just had to tell me: he had confronted that brother and told him that I was a lady and that he should have said what he said to him privately, not to me, and that I was a guest and that it's as important to make guests feel welcome as to clean up. My friend felt so good about confronting his brother and for standing up for me, and so happy to tell me about it. And I did, too. Honestly, not many guys I've ever been friends with have done that sort of thing. I'm glad I'm finally getting to know some of the good ones. And to respond to the original question, yes, I very much appreciated my friend's effort to be hospitable that day.
 
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Confession: I adore the gentleman-ism & hospitality (male) ESFJ’s exhibit and am glad they’re still out there!!! Additionally; one of my closest friends is an ESFJ and even though sometimes I need to dig deep in order to find out what it is that HE wants (instead of always pleasing others); he’s one of the best things in my life! Never stop being yourselves ESFJ’s!
I so wholeheartedly agree! The same goes for an ENFJ guy I'm friends with.
 

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That has always intrigued me. Do they make their own beer? (just curious).


-ZDD
No beer, unfortunately. But that particular monastery is located in Burgundy, France, surrounded by vineyards, and they do receive donations from their wine-producing neighbors. And who are they, of course, to refuse the providence of God? ;)

They have wine only on Sundays and feast days, and they all drink only very modest portions, and some don't take any at all. But they are happy to serve their guests!
 
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Auntie Duckie
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I've made my own beer before. It's a fun process. My very first was a Belgium Tripel: Trappist beer - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia brewed much like they would have in a monastery.

I even used the leftover wort at the end of the bottling process to make bread, but apparently it still had too high of an alcohol content because I never could get the yeast to proof in it. I ended up with unleavened hard dough balls that were good for bird food and nothing else.


:cool:


-ZDD
 

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I've made my own beer before. It's a fun process. My very first was a Belgium Tripel: Trappist beer - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia brewed much like they would have in a monastery.

I even used the leftover wort at the end of the bottling process to make bread, but apparently it still had too high of an alcohol content because I never could get the yeast to proof in it. I ended up with unleavened hard dough balls that were good for bird food and nothing else.


:cool:


-ZDD
Mmm, that sounds good. I confess most of the time I prefer beer to wine. That will be my monastic sacrifice when I join this community: to have to drink wine. Clearly, I'm on my way to sainthood here. ;)

How high was your alcohol content, do you know? Some monastic beers I had in France were, like, 7 and 9%.
 
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In these days of paranoia and a healthy dose of mistrust, some forms of hospitality are put off on the wayside. Gone are the days when we would accept rides from strangers or keep our front door open so that people, friends or strangers, could walk in and say hi.
I found this most noticeable when a gust of wind slammed the front door shut, locking with me out for 4 hours in the process about 2 years ago now: 1 neighbour felt I was 'being inconsiderate' asking for basic kindness on a cold damp day, a 'friend' revealed themselves as disinterested and a landlords agent wished to not help... versus village-small town life where people would invite people in for a tea without being asked.
 

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Confession: I adore the gentleman-ism & hospitality (male) ESFJ’s exhibit and am glad they’re still out there!!! Additionally; one of my closest friends is an ESFJ and even though sometimes I need to dig deep in order to find out what it is that HE wants (instead of always pleasing others); he’s one of the best things in my life! Never stop being yourselves ESFJ’s!
I so wholeheartedly agree! The same goes for an ENFJ guy I'm friends with.
This. This a thousand times. I cannot count the times where I've found this and even if it's in a quiet way, I'll still notice and it does mean a lot. It's always so difficult to find words (well for me, because I get overwhelmed and it is difficult for me to express -- imagine that!) and lovely things to show that you notice and you're very thankful for them. It's tough because they like to see you happy and forget about themselves to such a level that you know they need something, even if they won't say it.

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that we notice and we love you for it.
 
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