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Discussion Starter #1
Hello, people.

The thing is: I think porn is better than sex. I can't get much satisfaction from actual sex. I don't find it all that pleasurable and sex comes with all that socialization thing that I hate and expectations.

Fantasy on the other hand is perfect. You can have anything you want with porn. You are into some weird fetish? The internet will give you the material you want. You want X? Look for X and you'll find it. You want Y? Go for it! Infinite supply at any time. You can have porn anytime and anywhere you can't have sex.


Masturbation has been much more interesting and satisfactory to me than actual sex. Sex is just boring. Porn is beautiful. Does anyone else here think this way or at least went through a period of your life that was like that? I guess I also have to say that I "suffer" from schizoid personality disorder and that plays a major role on the way I think, but I was wondering if anyone else with a perfect mental health would agree with me.

Thanks anyway.
 

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Beer Guardian
ENTP 5w6 So/Sx 584 ILE Honorary INTJ
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The dopamine reward one gets from masturbating to porn is usually easier and far more consistently achievable than actual sex, so in that instance, you can make that statement.

Rule 34

However, the actual intimacy generated by having sex with another human being is exponentially greater than fapping to porn by at least 10 orders of magnitude.


Masturbation is essentially a selfish act that satisfies the physical needs of one's body, but it doesn't really generate anything more than that. Sex is a generative act. Beyond reproduction, sex puts the needs of another before our own. It promotes even more personal growth than anything one might do alone.

Check this out:

Your Brain on Porn: Evolution has not prepared your brain for today's Internet porn

 

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Addiction makes other things seem not as good, plain and simple. Try going for a week without porn or masturbation and I'd wager you would get withdrawal symptoms.
 

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QUEEN PEEN
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Masturbation might be at times... but porn? No, not porn directly. If porn is better, I would imagine it is either because someone is insecure or someone's ideals are too high...
 

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Hmmm.

You not being a virgin have both perspectives, but lots of people who make heavy use of porn being virgins.

l didn't really get porn before having sex, but, perhaps that is more common among women than men.

lt wasn't that l didn't understand what they were doing, but l just wasn't connecting with it in the way l was after having experienced it. And even then, more so after having regular sex for the first time.

Maybe some people won't really get into it and others will wrongly 'learn' sex that way and become obsessed.

lt can serve the purpose of fantasy more effectively, but it's a different ...thing for me.
 

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MOTM Sept 2014
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I've never understood the appeal of porn. It doesn't do anything for me, at all. I actually find it actively turns me off.

Its just so far removed from what sex really is and I think too many people these days get so carried away with instant gratification and expectations that it takes all the joy out of real intimacy. You can't expect sex to be like porn, because it isn't. People who expect that aren't having sex, they're using someone else's body for masturbation. Masturbation is fine for a quick sexual release but it doesn't really satisfy one's need or desire for intimacy or passion. Having sex once will satisfy me for ten times longer than masturbating, even if my orgasm is technically better by myself.

I dunno. No judgement or anything, but if porn is making real sex seem less pleasurable maybe you should take a break and try to rediscover sex. The novelty of porn is going to wear off sooner or later.
 

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Porn isn't real, any more than anything featuring actors is, and thus things that can happen during real sex with real people are absent from porn, so I suppose there will be people who think it's better. I don't even find the vast majority of porn interesting, yet alone better than real sex (uninteresting at best, repulsive at worst), but that's just me.
 

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The No More Hero
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I'm a virgin with very unsatisfying sexual experiences thus far and I see porn for to laugh at how bad it is, sometimes I can't help but to be turned out, but quite honestly, usually when I masturbate to porn is the most frustrating thing ever. It isn't half as good when I take my sweet time with myself or let someone I love do it for me or help me.
The intensity of kissing someone and almost eating him/her up while doing so because you're so full with desire is something no porn can replace.
 

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Porn is NEVER better than actual sex. I don't understand this at all. Sex is the thing you are pretending you are doing while you watch porn so how can it be actually better...
 

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Porn is a tool…as such it can enhance one’s sex life, but shouldn’t encompass one’s sex life!

I think anyone who finds porn better than the real thing is either sleeping with the wrong person/people or has become so influenced by it that they don’t realize what normal sex is…sad either way!
 

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Porn is only better to those who have no experienced sex,
And those who have not done it properly.

I'm sorry for what I am about to say,
But most people I know who preferred pron,
Did not prefer it because it was 'better',
But because they were too lazy to put in the work needed to have a physical relationship with someone,
And therefore tried to unsuccessfully convince themselves that porn was better.

Porn in moderation is healthy and great,
But when it begins to replace real intimacy because you begin to delude yourself as to how porn 'should be',
It becomes an issue.

Let alone the precedent most porn movies set with their violence and abject objectification of people(Unwillingly many times).
 

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I think for people who get addicted to porn, it can come to replace real sex, because it is a more reliable way to have orgasms exactly how one wants, when one wants, while thinking about exactly what one wants. I don't think that is a good habit to get into. If one has a fetish, it is possible to develop a tolerance where one requires more extreme forms of that fetish in order to get excited, which can be dangerous depending on which fetish it is. Also, I see it as being similar to exclusively eating fruit flavored candy instead of actual fruit, to get just the essence of the sweetness and none of the actual nutrients. You're cheating yourself out of the parts of the sexual experience that would cause lasting emotional fulfillment. If you ever do manage to fall in love, a dependence on porn will probably have a negative impact on your relationship.

...and that's not even getting into whether it is ethical to purchase pornography, which can be problematic for other reasons. How certain are you that the people acting in your porn are not being exploited, have not been trafficked, and have not been coerced into creating it? How certain are you that they aren't on drugs that make them incapable of giving meaningful consent with their fellow participants? Do you know the background information about why s/he got into that industry, so you can be certain you aren't paying someone to take advantage of someone who has chosen that career path because s/he has been psychologically damaged in some manner? How certain are you that the actor(s)/actress(es) had safe, sanitary working conditions or was(were) treated well? With so many awful things potentially happening in that industry, and with a higher than average suicide rate among those who work in it, you might consider whether you want to contribute to that.

https://www.shelleylubben.com/
 

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Discussion Starter #18
However, the actual intimacy generated by having sex with another human being is exponentially greater than fapping to porn by at least 10 orders of magnitude.

Yes, and that is one of the reasons why I don't like sex all that much. I wish my partners were like robots. I could have sex with them and then turn them off. Make them disappear. I hate all the talk, intimacy, social awkwardness etc. That makes me look like one of those guys who likes prostitutes, but I don't. I like knowing the person I'm having sex with really wants me and not my money and she's not just pretending, so hookers aren't my thing. However, I wish real people were more like hookers. I could just bang them and they would shut up and go away.

As you said, porn is selfish. That's why it is so good. I don't need any other person to satisfy my needs. I can do it myself in anyway I want with porn. It is independent sex satisfaction.

Porn is only better to those who have no experienced sex,
And those who have not done it properly.
I have experienced sex and I have done it properly to the point I've always received compliments from the people I was having sex with. The problem is that to me sex comes with anhedonia. I just can't get the pleasure I get from porn when I'm having sex. It feels just boring and sometimes I can't even finish. It feels artificial to me. Like I had to put on an act. Pretend that I'm having fun, that I'm enjoying the act when I'm actually not. Porn is easy and gives me pleasure. Sex makes me feel empty.
 

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Cafe Legend and MOTM Jan 2011
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I wonder if it might be a case of a dismissive-avoidant attachment style.
 
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