[heartturnedtoporcelain]

... and of how others perceive you? (the question was too long for the title lol)

I always assumed I knew all my faults and all my good points (hint: the first category was huge while the latter was filled with tumble weeds and western music) and I assumed that I could pick up on exactly how people perceived me. Lately, however, I've really started to doubt that I really have that degree of objective analysis. Maybe I'm completely biased and misled --- but, but, my understanding of myself always seemed so clear.

This also dovetails into the question: do you really think that we INFPs see things through rose coloured glasses?

I mean, before MBTI, I never thought that I did - I thought I was seeing the world as it is. Even though I'm now aware that I'm ridiculously idealistic at heart (covered with a blanket of cynicism), I still can't really believe it on a visceral level. I just can't match up what I'm being told and what I know intellectually with what I feel I really perceive.

I mean, how can you survive if you doubt your perceptions that much?

 

[infpblog]

I have a realistic understanding of how people perceive me and how I am because I pay attention to what I DO, not what I THINK about myself.

How does one person know another person? It's from what they do, not what they say. We don't believe the 35 year old with the get rich quick scheme who had to move back to his parents when he says he has it altogether. We don't believe the girl who says she strong and independent but has the abusive boyfriend. People's actions tell us who they are.

It's the same with us. We know ourselves from the actions we take. We can tell ourselves whatever we want. We all have this idealized version of ourselves. It doesn't matter how much you tell yourself that who you are now isn't really who you are. We believe our actions, not whatever self-talk we tell ourselves to get through the day.

That's why INFPs respond to lead by example. We already know talk is crap because we've been talking crap to ourselves for years and we still haven't managed to do anything.

 

[heartturnedtoporcelain]

I have a realistic understanding of how people perceive me and how I am because I pay attention to what I DO, not what I THINK about myself.

How does one person know another person, it's from what they do not what they say. We don't believe the 35 year old with the get rich quick scheme who had to move back to his parents when he says he has it altogether. We don't believe the girl who says she strong and independent but has the abusive boyfriend. People's actions tell us who they are.

It's the same with us. We know ourselves from the actions we take. We can tell ourselves whatever we want. We all have this idealized version of ourselves. It doesn't matter how much you tell yourself that who you are now isn't really who you are. We believe our actions, not whatever self-talk we tell ourselves to get through the day.

That's why INFPs respond to lead by example. We already know talk is crap because we've been talking crap to ourselves for years and we still haven't managed to do anything.

That's an interesting attitude. I think one my huge turning points in how I saw myself was when I actually had concrete proof that I'm a decent human (I did something big that could only be interpreted as good) which contradicted my general assumption that I wasn't.

It's definitely a more healthy way of existing than always making assumptions. The problem is that your way is not natural for people with a decent amount of Ne - we are always making intuitive leaps and creating patterns based on very little evidence. I have to consciously reexamine my thought processes and where I derived my ideas from in order not fall into the Ne trap. We would have to train ourselves to truly focus on actions (I mean big, very hard not to misinterpret actions).

 

[MilkyLatte]

I do tend to look through the rose colored glasses. I can talk to someone and feel that the other person is nice, considerate and respectful to me and then later someone who observed the conversation would tell me that the person I was talking to was talking to me like I was a child.

About a year ago, I was constantly having the feeling that my friends hated me and did what they could to avoid me, and worse, that they had united in the practice of avoiding me. I automatically started working with myself, because I was convinced that it was just paranoia on my account.

It got better with time, but recently I just got confirmed by one of my friends that my "paranoia" wasn't actually far from the truth (the friend who told me was the only one who refused to take part in avoiding me).

The reason I gradually felt better wasn't that I had mastered my paranoia but that my friends had simply realized that what they did was wrong. I've never confronted them with it and they don't know that I know it, but they're my friends - I love my friends and they mean a lot to me - I've given them a second chance without them even knowing..

But generally, when it comes to deciding whether a person is "evil" to me or not, I'm prone to ignore even the most overwhelming evidence just because I automatically want to assume that the person is good.

 

[infpblog]

It's definitely a more healthy way of existing than always making assumptions. The problem is that your way is not natural for people with a decent amount of Ne - we are always making intuitive leaps and creating patterns based on very little evidence. I have to consciously reexamine my thought processes and where I derived my ideas from in order not fall into the Ne trap. We would have to train ourselves to truly focus on actions (I mean big, very hard not to misinterpret actions).

Our own actions are Fi not Ne. Every action we take our brain compares it to our values to make sure if it feels right or wrong.

Ne kicks in when we observe other people's actions. Is this person really this nice to me or does this person want something from me?

There's no such thing as misinterpreting our own actions. Either we feel that our actions are getting us closer to our Ideal Self or they aren't. We may not know why we do something. But our Fi will always tell us if we are being true to ourselves even if what we do turns out to be a mistake.

 

[Rogue Eagle]

myself? yes.

Others perceiving me? hell no.

 

[HannahDanielle]

Short answer: Not at all. I'm never good enough.

 

[heartturnedtoporcelain]

Our own actions are Fi not Ne. Every action we take our brain compares it to our values to make sure if it feels right or wrong.

Ne kicks in when we observe other people's actions. Is this person really this nice to me or does this person want something from me?

There's no such thing as misinterpreting our own actions. Either we feel that our actions are getting us closer to our Ideal Self or they aren't. We may not know why we do something. But our Fi will always tell us if we are being true to ourselves even if what we do turns out to be a mistake.

That's true - I guess I didn't make myself clear. That last paragraph was talking about external things/other people while the first was talking about myself.

Also, I don't think Fi is as stable and absolutely clear cut as that. There are grey areas - actions that cannot be easily classified as relating to how true we are being to ourselves.

 

[ivorynightgown]

Understand myself realistically : QUITE (esp after learning MBTI)

Others perception on me: NO at all. But always tend to think people r judging me & ppl's ignorance on me is bcoz of personal reason (rather than them being busy or hooked up to something else )

 

[rebornintheglory]

I probably don't. I probably think I think I am better than I am in some places, and think I think I am worse than I am in others, but I really don't know. I mean if I am deluded about myself, how can I know I am? I am rather convinced I can not trust my judgement, but whether this means I am unaware that I am a 'good' or 'bad' person I just don't know. Going from most other people who I think are 'bad', I am probably pretty much the same, but if I were somehow a closet paragon of humanity I really don't think I would have any way of knowing.

Nope. No realism here.

 

[GrimmTeather]

The only thing we can do is question why we've perceived something a certain way. For example - If I feel a certain emotion, is this due to something happening in the moment or due to a memory that's triggered the emotion?
If we only see 'good', does this stem from guilt due to thinking bad of someone or something? comparing ourselves to a perceived 'bad'? sometimes for me.

Going off track a bit... Do I think that I have a realistic understanding of myself?
Yes but not all the time. Once I leave my own world and meet with others, my mind isn't as in control and is driven a lot by doubt.
Your question isn't as easy to answer as I first thought...

 

[Tommy]

I can think that I know exactly how I am perceived by others, but I am 100% sure that I can never know the full picture. Others might act when around you, they might be nicer than they actually feel towards you. However, I can put myself outside and watch myself and perceive myself a my own way, but another person will most likely perceive me very differently..

 

[lopare232]

I really have no idea how others perceive me. As for how I perceive myself...Well, I certainly know myself, but I don't know if my overall perception is accurate. I know when I was younger it was wayyy off until I realized that people meant the good things they said about me. The way I see myself is probably more accurate now, but I'm certain it's not objective in the same way I can see someone else.

I think infpblog is absolutely onto something with actions. It's so simple, but so genius. That's probably gonna take me a while to learn, though.

 

[Ectoplasm]

I don't really know much about how others perceive me (if low self-esteem is removed from the equation.) I've heard many things, a person I work with asked if my brain was a monkey crashing two cymbals together (I laughed at that one) but I've been called random, intelligent, stupid, odd amongst many.

I like to think I understand myself and that I understand my own inner workings like a giant complex spider web where I know where each of the strings and threads lead to and see how they contribute to the whole. However I don't know what I want for myself and my future, that is what I want from life, passions, a dream, a reason to exist amongst other things. I tend to know what I don't want for myself and the process of elimination should be easy, but its not. I'm trying to learn to trust my gut feelings to get the elusive understanding but its hard when you don't trust yourself.

I also agree that infpblog has the right idea regarding actions too.

 

[Azura Nova]

I think I'm pretty pessimistic in both. I tend to only see my faults..

I also think that everyone finds me annoying/boring/too shy/lazy and etc. I have my good days where I can see that I'm an awesome and nice person but I tend to think people don't see me that way :dry:

So basically, my understanding is more paranoid than anything else.

 

[KiloBravo]

I think I'm pretty pessimistic in both. I tend to only see my faults..

I also think that everyone finds me annoying/boring/too shy/lazy and etc. I have my good days where I can see that I'm an awesome and nice person but I tend to think people don't see me that way :dry:

So basically, my understanding is more paranoid than anything else.

"I also think that everyone finds me annoying/boring/too shy/lazy and etc."

I guess this is something that alot of us have to work on (including me). Might I suggest a book try reading The Highly Sensitive person. Even though you may not be HSP alot of the information applies to just this type of thing.

 

[Azura Nova]

"I also think that everyone finds me annoying/boring/too shy/lazy and etc."

I guess this is something that alot of us have to work on (including me). Might I suggest a book try reading The Highly Sensitive person. Even though you may not be HSP alot of the information applies to just this type of thing.

Thanks ^_^ , looks interesting. Yeah, I really need to work on this

 

[lirulin]

That's an interesting attitude. I think one my huge turning points in how I saw myself was when I actually had concrete proof that I'm a decent human (I did something big that could only be interpreted as good) which contradicted my general assumption that I wasn't.

It's definitely a more healthy way of existing than always making assumptions. The problem is that your way is not natural for people with a decent amount of Ne - we are always making intuitive leaps and creating patterns based on very little evidence. I have to consciously reexamine my thought processes and where I derived my ideas from in order not fall into the Ne trap. We would have to train ourselves to truly focus on actions (I mean big, very hard not to misinterpret actions).

I find it hilarious that it took one big thing instead of you noticing the endless little things you do consistently that are nice. Even now, you don't give yourself enough credit.

 

[heartturnedtoporcelain]

I find it hilarious that it took one big thing instead of you noticing the endless little things you do consistently that are nice. Even now, you don't give yourself enough credit.

erm ... yes. It's just so hard to see the good things. But that's like definitive proof - the rest of it is totally over shadowed by my unrealistic understanding of myself.

 

[lirulin]

erm ... yes. It's just so hard to see the good things. But that's like definitive proof - the rest of it is totally over shadowed by my unrealistic understanding of myself.

you're cute...
also intelligent, careful, you care about the possibility of upsetting people rather than finding it hilarious (even when you also know there is hilarity), you never treat anyone like you're judging them, no matter what you think of them, you let people randomly live in your house at need and feel guilty that you're not doing enough for them even though they're living off of your kindness, you have a killer sense of humour an amazing sense of the ridiculous, creativity, excellent taste in books, music, and videos, a strong analytical ability, intellectual curiosity and a completely rational and honourable obsession with cats and hockey!
Maybe having less psychotic friends these days will make it as obvious to you as it is to us.