Personality Cafe banner

1 - 16 of 16 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,610 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I've always been a very trusting person. I'm quite naive. Though I trust people easily, I have many times been taken advantage of, used, lied to, etc. I guess I don't want to give up on people just because I've had bad experiences with some of them. I know I should be at least a little more suspicious than I am, but my trusting nature is something I value.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,294 Posts
I give people a bit of trust when I first meet them. I rather give people the benefit of doubt before I brush them off ass user, potiencial liars and so fourth. Once they fuck up the wee bit of amount of trust I get, depending on how much I like them, I competely write them off...without a doubt.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,636 Posts
I don't relate to "trusting and naive" or "suspicious/worried". I know that seems confusing, but I view most people as "other". I am always analyzing for veracity, intentions, and intuiting what I think is really going on, and I'm hesitant to draw conclusions, but I don't feel I exagerate in either direction. I guess I believe I have "good judgement" if that makes sense, for the most part, anyways. And suspicious or paranoid has a 6 connotation to me-- I do not feel suspicious or paranoid because I do not depend on what others think. I may not believe someone, but I don't feel 'suspcious of them'; what they are saying or thinking, if they are lieing to me or trying to manipulate me, does not really matter, because they are separate to me. It is actually interesting catchign someone in the act. But I don't look for things that aren't there, either. I prefer not to make things i share worthless by giving them to someone who doesnt' value them, but doing so requires feeling they value me, not "trust"... I do not feel vulnerable enouhg to need trust. Does that make sense?
Or does that mean I am inherently trusting?
I am not sure.
As for trust-- I tend to reveal myself pretty easily to anyone I get to know, and when I withhold myself, it isn't a matter of "trust", but maybe something to do with "worth" and preferring to be valued or understood when I reveal myself.
I guess I am more interested in the truth of my perceptions than whether or not they are "good" or "bad" persons that I can "trust" or "not". The idea of this is hard for me to articulate, but trust with what? I don't give people much control over my actions. If someone has given me reason to think I should not tell something to them, or do something with them, I no longer wish to do so, and those I trust to tell something to, I do. I don't think I trust people all the way either, even those I trust in some area I recognize have certain boundaries in others. It has less to do with being "naive" or "jaded" in my mind than just aware of others.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
891 Posts
I am suspicious by nature. It is hard to gain my trust. Best way to earn it? The following ways:

-Don't deliberately lie to me. I despise deception
-Don't yell at me, swear at me, or call me names. I grew up in a house like that. :(
-Be transparent. I like people who show me their true colours, not some fancy illusion

The third one is most important for me (i.e. transparency). I don't have to know every single thing about someone, but I really need to know someone's opinion of me before I can open up completely.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
956 Posts
I am pretty indifferent at first until I get further proof or a 'feeling' for trust or distrust. I am, however, pretty skeptical that anyone could really gain my trust so I hardly really let it happen.. Maybe that's distrust, I don't know. I think it has more to do with my own openness. Suspicion sounds more negative, like seeing into something that is or isn't there but you're just probing for some flaw. I don't think I'm suspicious, I might be just unwilling to let myself see through anything overall. Trust issues.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
716 Posts
I also trust people too easily. At least, if those people themselves believe what they tell me and such. Like once I shared an apartment with a schizophrenic, which we didn't know at that time (living with him was a very frightening, nightmarish and nauseating experience), and he kept stealing my weed and every time he did it, he'd come clean about it afterwards and say that he'd never do it again, etc. Eventually I started locking in inside a closet.

He kept saying that he'd start getting better, pull himself together etc. and that it was all going in the right direction and I believed him. It wasn't until he started trashing the apartment out of rage (because he couldn't score some mescalin as he'd planned) that I kicked him out.

On that day everything turned around and even though it's almost a year ago, I hate him so much and I hate everything about him and deep down I kinda wish bad things will happen to him, even though I know in my mind that he's already been through hell, way more than I have while living with him.

I am also prone to be taken advantage of. When it happens, I don't realize it until afterwards. In a way, my internal judgments of the person who took advantage of me is all worth it; the knowledge that I've done something good while they've done something bad is soothing. In a couple of years they'll wake up and realize that they've been huge jerks, and they'll feel terrible.

Don't get me wrong, I don't do it deliberately; if I knew I was going to be taken advantage of, I wouldn't agree to do whatever it is they wanted me to do; my revengeful thinking is merely retrospective. Also, I don't let strangers take advantage of me, only "friends". I don't trust strangers at all; one single funny look at me is all it takes to convince me that they fantasize about raping me or something equally silly.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
557 Posts
Being trusting can be helpful when you know where to place your trust. There aren't many people that I trust. Whether this is a good or a bad quality, I don't know. It takes me a good while to build trust with people. And even some of the people I do end up trusting, I'm still suspicious of in some way. Not many people are present for very long. And sometimes I feel discouraged if I don't feel like they truly need my friendship. It may have something to do with the fact that 6 is in my tritype. I do feel very insecure in many ways, so naturally it does take more for me to put my trust in people. What I hate is that even being able to realize this in myself has never made it any easier. I can only ever go with the way that I feel about people and more often than not, my hunches about people prove to be right.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Steel Magnolia

·
Registered
Joined
·
799 Posts
While I'm reserved, I still give people my full trust rather quickly. Sometimes this leads me taken advantage of.

I need to learn how to behave like a bitch.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
350 Posts
I tend to trust people too easily as well, not necessarily in terms that they like me but that their intentions are good aka. that they are good people (which would go for a stranger for example).
I distrust some people though when you just get that feeling about them that something is wrong.
I think that I often fail to realize that people can have mean and selfish intentions.
I tend to see only the good in others; or like the great things that I dont have; how fourish ;)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
232 Posts
I'm open to people for the most part, but that doesn't mean I trust them. I just don't give a damn. If you trust people implicitly, I can only say that is a great trait to have. Yet there are psychopaths out there who feed off of people and their trusting ways, so I think it's best to stay on guard a bit and perceptive.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,697 Posts
Neither. I generally stick to my intuition. I don't always *listen* to it, but I can usually tell right away whether I WANT to trust someone.
Trust has many levels to it, with me. I wouldn't trust just anyone with anything, but I am not necessarily distrustful about everything.

If that makes sense.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
114 Posts
i trust my gut completely. one of the best things about being a 4 is being able to see people for who they are. i don't judge them, but i sure as shit won't let them get close to me.

i would also never invite a stranger into my personal life. it just wouldn't occur to me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
67 Posts
Hmm... I feel like I do not really even consider trust when I analyze my relationships--just something that is not even on my radar. I am more concerned with the quality of the relationship as I define it: "Do I feel accepted?", "Does this person make me feel good?", "Does this person really understand what I mean when I say... [whatever I might be trying to express at any given moment]?", "Is this person interesting?", "Is this person funny?" are questions whose answers have a much greater impact on the relationship itself. When it is revealed that someone who I have become attached to (for better or worse) has lied to me (or is a liar, in general), it unfortunately does not have an impact on my desire to spend time with them. However, it might, depending on the nature and severity of the lie, cause a dip in the quality of the relationship, cause me to question the "perpetrator" more, make me more weary of being open, make me think less of them, so on and so forth. If someone's lying and I care enough about them, I'd like to know why they think they cannot tell me the truth, what past experiences have made them decide they have no other choice, but this only applies to relationships I value. So to answer the original question: neither. I do relate to often feeling taken advantage of--or did relate, not so much anymore. However, this might have more to do with disintegration to unhealthy two and the perceptions that come with that than actually being taken advantage of. If I am being honest (easily done in retrospect), I am probably taking advantage of others as much as they do me. I mean, it would be easy for me to deny that because I am using them for emotional support, mental stimulation, adequate mirroring, i.e., things that can hardly be quantified, but that does not mean that I am not, in fact, using them as means to an end. I'm getting off topic like always, so I will stop here.
 

·
MOTM Dec 2011
Joined
·
8,651 Posts
I error on the side of naiveté & being trusting also. Some "NF traits" I've always related to is a tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt, maybe when they don't even deserve it, and a tendency to judge people based on potential over their manifested attributes. I also have a curiosity about people & the potential I see between us that can override "red flags".

A 4ish aspect of this is always fantasizing about people "saving" me, which tends to put them in a rather flattering, but inaccurate light. This bubble bursts pretty fast though.

I am guarded, however, but it's not out of suspicion towards others. I think I fear being "found out" - that if people get close to me & see the real me in all its flawed glory, that they will reject me, so it's safer to keep people at arm's length & just fantasize about connections.

Sometimes I go the other way & put my vulnerabilities & quirks on display (often in that e4 elitist way), like I want people to reject me or misunderstand me to justify this idea of me being too different, weird, etc, to be loved & accepted by others & functional in life.

Acceptance (from others) is definitely more of an issue for me than trust. I don't feel like I have trust issues. If I sense someone will accept me as I am, then I'll probably trust them much more quickly than it may be wise to do.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,676 Posts
OrangeAppled said:
I am guarded, however, but it's not out of suspicion towards others. I think I fear being "found out" - that if people get close to me & see the real me in all its flawed glory, that they will reject me, so it's safer to keep people at arm's length & just fantasize about connections.
I can relate so much to this part.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
875 Posts
...i'm more suspicious than most people...i have a head 6w4 after 4w5...and my sister got raped by our brother and i absorbed many of her feelings of distrust...i generally avoid people and withdraw when they try to be with me...but when they talk to me and if they are nice i'm easily fooled and taken...but afterwards i imagine all the great things we could do together ...and all the bad things that could happen too...but i then tend to ignore it and err on the idealistic side...
 
1 - 16 of 16 Posts
Top