[Raichan]

With the exception of my INTJ female best friend whose intuitive skills are apparently advanced (beyond the norm), I find that whenever I talk in creative metaphors/ imaginative depth, many INTJ's can't seem to understand/relate at some point (though sometimes they do)

I do get surprised every once in a while when I post certain threads on this other forum dominated by INTJ's, I made the mistake of assuming that they would easily understand certain points beyond the obvious, but it turns out to be untrue.

Do most INTJ's have trouble understanding INFP's when they engage in indirect but metaphorical communications?

Don't criticize me now please :crazy::crazy: Hahahahaah... ''feel'' your answers too, don't just get critical :crazy::crazy:

 

[perennialurker]

I don't have many interactions with INFPs specifically, but from my experience as an INTJ, I can say with confidence that we are quite capable of understanding/imagining the playful musings of anyone's N. I think the distinction may honestly be the result of a deliberate lack of even attempting to understand you (I have seen this thing happen with others.) Your INTJ friend in reality on the other hand, is actualy exercising their INTJ strength to comprehend your radnom musings. In short the INTJs who didn't get you probably weren't trying very hard, probably because INTJs do not care for many people; you should take this as a complement from your INTJ friends. Also I wouldn't neglect the miscommunications commonly found through online forums vs. real-life interaction. I hope this answers your question.

 

[L'Empereur]

It depends. . .

 

[Vaka]

INTJs are dominant intuitives while you're a dominant feeler. Really, their intuition works with their Te. What you may perceive as an inability to understand may be more of a 'what's the point?' kinda thing from the INTJ. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's what I see in my INTJ sister sometimes.

 

[jbking]

Well...

Maybe, maybe not. There is a chance that they may understand but don't want to convey that. Another thought here is that some metaphors can have multiple meanings that you may or may not know. For example, if I call someone a "dog" is that an insult or compliment? It totally depends on context as I've heard many times where it is an insult, there is even a "Fresh Prince" song called "A Dog is a Dog" if one wants a specific example, however there are other times where it goes the other way such as Randy Jackson on "American Idol" talking to contestants. This is without factoring in sarcasm and other elements that can make language tricky to some extent.

 

[TheStory]

The person I am closest to in this world happens to be a INFP. We understand one another quite a bit and where we don't it can get frustrating. Most of the time I find myself understanding her actually. More often then not she is misunderstanding me or stating she doesn't understand me.

For instance we may be deep into conversation and I may frustrate her because I wont be responding in a way she expects. She thinks I don't understand based off of my response because my feelings or thoughts differentiate from hers. It's not because I don't understand but because I am interjecting with my views instead of regurgitating hers.

This can be a folly with anyone. It's hard to take yourself out of your own shoes.

 

[Snowguard]

I may well understand what you say, but you'd have to try really hard for me not to lose interest. This isn't an attack on you, or how you think, but the fact that you're just one of many things competing for my attention. If I grunt and nod a little, consider yourself understood. If I'm still sitting nearby it may even mean I like you enough to continue being around you.

Not the deep introspective answer you were hoping for...?

 

[PyrLove]

What you may perceive as an inability to understand may be more of a 'what's the point?' kinda thing from the INTJ.

This is it exactly. Wordplay, metaphors, and analogies are my forte but they have to have a point. Listening to random verbal musings, even if i care deeply for that person, is not worth my time.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

It's because they're all entertainment references we don't give a shit about.

 

[Sweetish]

There needs to be an applicable, relevant connection between metaphor and reality, or else the Ni gets bored. Trust me, that cognitive process is always working, to the hilt, full tilt, looking for any possible connections, but if it still can't make use of what you're saying (not sense, but use)... that's a good indicator that perhaps you should rephrase your metaphor or try a completely different one that most directly corresponds with what you are attempting to communicate or demonstrate.

I, for one, thoroughly enjoy the abstract and metaphor; it's a pretty common thing that most INTJ, in general, do innately like to some degree. If the INTJ can't relate to what you're saying then stop talking from your point of view and consider how to make what you're saying more relate-able to the personal experiences of the INTJ with whom you are speaking. Objective examples which apply in common, every day, life regardless of a person's personality (traffic, physics, common errors made when exhausted, red clothing item that turns the white laundry pink, etc, things which mostly ANYONE can relate to) come in quite handy for such a purpose when you are not sure how to tailor fit a metaphor or abstract topic to the listener. If the metaphor isn't working, just try out another one until you see the INTJ's face light up. Form questions to verify that the INTJ listener is following you if you're not getting head nods or verbal affirmations of understanding; if they say they're not sure what it is that you're getting at, just give yourself some comfortable seconds to think through another example. The INTJ might even take the opportunity to clarify where they think you might be going with what you're saying.

 

[Flora]

Two levels here. My experience:

Basic, everyday level, I think INTJs can get very impatient with an INPF that is not communicating as "effectively" as they need at a particular moment. The INTJ wants the information as factual and clear as possible and INPF can sometimes be too vague or confuse matters when they introduce too many metaphors as they might not be interpreted as the INPF wants or the meanings might be too loose etc.

On a completely different level, I personally share a world of fantasy and images with an INTJ that is sometimes hilarious, sometimes damm right cute and sometimes almost like a different language we share. No one else would understand it as it's very personal and that perhaps is the point of it. I have never known any sensors that shared the richness of my imagination..or at least played along like the INTJ. It also appeals to me because I think sometimes things can be said in a very indirect way that suits me.

I might be wrong here but I think he likes the INPF way of conjuring up images as much as he hates it sometimes. It's the way I speak, I can't help it, it just comes out that way out of my head. I don't say you were "unkind" I say, you are "being a cactus again (prickly and hard to talk to and guarded)" and for me that is so much more expressive and richer...

 

[lirulin]

No problem with metaphors and abstractions. Patterns and verbal witchery are easy.

Severe problems with implicit, referential, and evocative language that relies, for understanding, on the hearer having the same preconceptions/assumptions. Rarely do I share that many assumptions with most INFPs. I've had situations when they are trying to hint at or imply something and I would have to share their suspicion/dislike/anxiety to get that, and I do not. Or I do not share certain reference points. I find Fi can be really self-absorbed/self-referential and doesn't realise how different others' reference points are. Ni can do the same, in different ways, of course, though Te pushes one outside more than Ne, in a way.

I also tend to be annoyed at people who like to hint and expect me to read their mind instead of taking the responsibility to communicate. So, as the other posters mentioned, I do not bother trying to guess. I do not intend to take upon myself the entire responsibility for effective communication. In a sense, sometimes I am almost training people into talking effectively by not responding even when I could guess. To communicate abstractly is one thing, to replace communication with passive-aggressive hinting is something I will not go along with.

 

[Jomama]

"I also tend to be annoyed at people who like to hint and expect me to read their mind instead of taking the responsibility to communicate. So, as the other posters mentioned, I do not bother trying to guess. I do not intend to take upon myself the entire responsibility for effective communication. In a sense, sometimes I am almost training people into talking effectively by not responding even when I could guess. To communicate abstractly is one thing, to replace communication with passive-aggressive hinting is something I will not go along with."

Qft.

 

[Staryu]

With the exception of my INTJ female best friend whose intuitive skills are apparently advanced (beyond the norm), I find that whenever I talk in creative metaphors/ imaginative depth, many INTJ's can't seem to understand/relate at some point (though sometimes they do)

I do get surprised every once in a while when I post certain threads on this other forum dominated by INTJ's, I made the mistake of assuming that they would easily understand certain points beyond the obvious, but it turns out to be untrue.

Do most INTJ's have trouble understanding INFP's when they engage in indirect but metaphorical communications?

Don't criticize me now please :crazy::crazy: Hahahahaah... ''feel'' your answers too, don't just get critical :crazy::crazy:

yes. i take things as they are said, and i expect others to say what they mean. i hate idioms, social graces like "not to hurt your feelings or anything, but.." and metaphors, except when it's stated that the purpose of saying X is to be metaphorical or stating upfront that X has a metaphorical meaning. in that case, i will tolerate it. otherwise, please don't talk metaphorically to me. i want to know what you are saying, not how it's delivered. oh, and please stick to the point. i don't like to have to put in the extra work of trying to look for hidden meanings, it pisses me off to no end.
i say exactly what i think and it makes it easier when other people do the same.