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Do you view the world & yourself through the eyes of others?

1452 Views 18 Replies 14 Participants Last post by  DaEvil1
I – like most of you I believe – have a strong sensitivity to the opinions and feelings others hold, but I'm especially sensitive to the ones I feel they hold about me.

As a result, I strive, occasionally to my disadvantage, to maintain a positive image in the eyes of others - often viewing myself through their eyes. Though I’ve learned to recognize when I do this and thus have some degree of control over it, I still can't help this tendency. Most often it works as something positive. However, sometimes it is also a source of great irritation; there are times when I just want to see the world through my eyes not theirs. But, alas, I must also see through the eyes of others'.

Do any of you also find you do this often?
If so, how do you feel about it?
Have you learned to recognize it?
Have you learned anything from it?

I’m curious to see if this is common among INFPs.

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Looking through others' eyes always helps me greatly in understanding them. In fact, it's probably the one method that works best for me when trying to understand people.

I don't think I've ever looked at myself, though, through others' eyes. I guess I don't really care what people think of me.
That's what you think. ;) Man is a social animal. And unless you live alone in the desert - you care about what others think of you. Otherwise you'd be in a fight pretty much every time you'd meet another person.

I hate when people write statements like these because they are a lie.

I probably put to much emphasis on the very last part of your post. Anyway it had to be said.

Regarding the original question. Yes kinda. I just recently found a way to do what I feel is right compared to do what the commonly accepted ISTJ response would be. (follow the rules) Because following the rules means you don't have to care about others just about the rules. And when they are violated somebody else (court, police, etc.) is there to care and take care of a violation. Basically deferring responsibility.
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I suppose I could reply to this post with a statement like, "No, I really don't care. Why do you think I'm lying?", but then that would be me caring, right?
If you really did not care you would not bother to respond ;) You are an INFP after all aren't you?

Maybe lying is too strong of a word. I'd say delusion would be better. A defensive mechanism. The people that really don't care in my opinion are not the ones saying I don't care but maybe the opposite. But that is painting things in black and white. All I want to say is I don't care just means I care but I think I'm gonna get hurt if I show it. And that I'd say is bad for an INFP because I think our power and strength comes from caring!
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