Personality Cafe banner

1 - 17 of 17 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,949 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
So, I've been noticing that if someone were to vouch for my character, many of them would say vastly different things.

My employer would say I am extremely friendly to my customers and I'm always doing what I can to better the atmosphere around me. --They would also, probably, peg me as an extrovert over introvert.

My semi-friends would say I'm not very social and don't hang out much.

My friends would say I am the funny guy in the group--I'm strangely and randomly deep when one-on-one, and I'm very quiet when in groups.

Fathers/Male Adults (I deal with a lot of adults because I tend to have to drive their kids around to church and events, or I see many at my younger siblings events and so on) would say I'm very responsible.

Mothers/Female Adults would say I'm oddly very nice for a teenagers.

My online friends tend to differ as much as real life, depending on the relationship. Some would say all I do is make jokes; some would say all I do is speak about "deep" things; some would say I'm only serious, some would say they think I'm not very social at all in the real world, but social online; some would say I'm very passionate; and some would give a mix.

Many range from strictly negative, to strictly positive, to a mix. I used to think it was normal, but then I started thinking about how everyone else "seems" to have one personality trait with everyone. I know there is that usual difference between family and friends, but for me, it goes even beyond that.

Would you say you are similar, or do you tend to have one personality trait that's always on? Does your mask change with different people? If so, do you force the mask you wear?

For me, I don't really think about it--it just happens. And I don't think of it as masks, but more of a spectrum with diverting branches along the way.

Would you say this is an INFJ? Just a me thing? Or and I being delusional and everyone is like this?
 
  • Like
Reactions: HAL 9000

·
Registered
Joined
·
26 Posts
It sounds to me like you're describing human nature, sensitive unsure of themselves human nature, but human nature nonetheless. I'e had a similar experience, particularly in high school and as an undergrad in college. I think everyone has some ever-changing mixture of archetypes in their overall personality. My advice: find the "you" that you use when no one else is around and tailor all your "masks" around that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
29 Posts
I don't think all types do this.

My estp friend is pretty static no matter what the situation.

My intp friend often says I'm being "influenced" by him and others, "variables and circumstance change your actions making it impossible to calculate your true nature." This kind of bothers me, because it makes my personality sound so contrived. doesn't this logic apply to life in general?

I don't think wearing a mask is un-authentic or deceitful.
All the different facets of my personality are part of a whole. None of them go against my core beliefs and feelings.
If I act a certain way for the comfort of others then cool! I don't think it's lame to think of other people before yourself.
But really I like acting sometimes. Why be one boring person, when you could be them all??:wink:

So yeah. In answer to your question- I think we infjs are just adaptable like that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
585 Posts
I really doubt it's an INFJ-specific thing, just that certain types (INFJ included) are perhaps more likely to act/appear differently to different people. This is all assuming that you act differently on purpose, though. Sometimes people just perceive the same thing/person/mask differently, or only see facets of you.

My teacher once said people are like diamonds. People have many faces and parts, and oftentimes we only get to see a few, and we tend to only judge people based on what we've seen.

^I need a Thesaurus lol


edit: to answer the OP's question, I do appear different to different people (somebody get me some synonyms aahh). I generally approach everyone with the same open-mindedness and underlying warmth, but I sometimes consciously adjust my outward behavior (without betraying my principles) to better suit and get along with whoever I'm talking to. I don't do it to hide myself or something. I do it for the benefit of both parties; everyone enjoys themselves more, gains new friends, and is happy. Win-win.
 
  • Like
Reactions: HAL 9000

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,362 Posts
I don't know if it's an INFJ thing or not, but I was quite amused to see myself described (in glowing terms no less) as this amazingly friendly people-person by some people I worked with. It made sense for the professional needs and role required in that job. And the energy I brought to that work wasn't a mask, but it also didn't bring anything close to all of myself into the interaction.

Someone has to be really close to me to see closer to the core. Again, in my case not so much about masks as about barriers around the core, if that makes sense (meaning, what matters isn't what IS visible externally, but what is NOT).
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,722 Posts
I wear this one a lot. Trying to break the habit, but it's hard :unsure:




It's usually cause i love whoever i'm talking to, but don't want to hurt them with my disinterest. It happens a lot. I mean...I AM interested...because it's them...but not in what they're actually saying and I tend to feel pretty terrible about that >.<.


Aside from that, I'd say my presentation morphs a lot, but that's it's always me. I can't seem to be something else purposefully :(. Even the smiling mask...that is still me though I don't want it to be me since it doesn't match up with what I'm feeling...


There are all just sides of me depending on who I'm with and what's going on. quiet, nervous, wild, angry, listener, conversation-hogger, moody, optimistic-to-a-fault, brave, scared...
The list just goes and goes, but I think that's human nature. I'm not sure I could pick a single person that I know who didn't fluctuate with the internal tides.

*edit* It's the overall picture that makes the person. Showing different sides at different times only -truly- bothers me when I feel a person is only getting one negative layer, over and over, so that this un-truth forms about me in their heads. :/
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,949 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
I wear this one a lot. Trying to break the habit, but it's hard :unsure:




It's usually cause i love whoever i'm talking to, but don't want to hurt them with my disinterest. It happens a lot. I mean...I AM interested...because it's them...but not in what they're actually saying and I tend to feel pretty terrible about that >.<.
Sucks being intuitive sometimes :D Nothing like having a very pleasant conversation or debate with someone, and halfway into their time to talk, you have something to say off of what they were saying, and now you're tuning out of their words in order to go into your head and organize the words you want to say. Yeah, then you feel egotistical and horrible for even thinking it, so you try to push back into focus with their words, but it never works. xD
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,722 Posts
Sucks being intuitive sometimes :D Nothing like having a very pleasant conversation or debate with someone, and halfway into their time to talk, you have something to say off of what they were saying, and now you're tuning out of their words in order to go into your head and organize the words you want to say. Yeah, then you feel egotistical and horrible for even thinking it, so you try to push back into focus with their words, but it never works. xD
:shocked:
The person in my gif and the person in your signature aren't the same person, are they?!


What really gets me is that this happens with the people who I consider really intelligent as well. I do the tuning out thing to think, but i also just totally zone out without realizing it. It's as if I constantly have to tear my focus back in to what they're saying. I would hate learning that somebody I loved was doing that/had to do that with me :unsure:.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,949 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
:shocked:
The person in my gif and the person in your signature aren't the same person, are they?!


What really gets me is that this happens with the people who I consider really intelligent as well. I do the tuning out thing to think, but i also just totally zone out without realizing it. It's as if I constantly have to tear my focus back in to what they're saying. I would hate learning that somebody I loved was doing that/had to do that with me :unsure:.
I don't know, your picture is someone in a costume xD My signature is a youtuber iJustine--I just found that quote to be hilarious.

And I agree--I'd feel horrible if someone did that to me. But sometimes I try to just think of it as Pre-thinking xD
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,722 Posts
I don't know, your picture is someone in a costume xD My signature is a youtuber iJustine--I just found that quote to be hilarious.

And I agree--I'd feel horrible if someone did that to me. But sometimes I try to just think of it as Pre-thinking xD
I dunno o_O o_O. Same eyebrows, same cheek bones, very similar lips and nose. Only differences are color, hair, and eyelashes :bored:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,949 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
I dunno o_O o_O. Same eyebrows, same cheek bones, very similar lips and nose. Only differences are color, hair, and eyelashes :bored:
Haha are we talking about your avatar in the Seahorse costume?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,949 Posts
Discussion Starter #14
LOLOL no xD. Talking about the gal in the gif I used for the smiling mask illustration LOLOL
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh xD that makes things much clearer haha! Still, the girl's face in your picture is much rounder. :p
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sedem

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,722 Posts
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh xD that makes things much clearer haha! Still, the girl's face in your picture is much rounder. :p
Found a key difference! The smiley gal has less natural space between her eye and her eyebrow.

solved :cool:


Ok. Now the thread can continue as it was xD. crisis averted.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,873 Posts


My intp friend often says I'm being "influenced" by him and others, "variables and circumstance change your actions making it impossible to calculate your true nature." This kind of bothers me, because it makes my personality sound so contrived. doesn't this logic apply to life in general?
In regard to "true nature"we cannot be defined, only observed.The complexity of the human being is such that a change in stimulus, however small, is capable of generating a difference in response.Body language is more expressive than spoken. For an example, shrugs for two different stimuli can be, usually are, different. So the statement, "when I told him/her, he/she shrugged" does not define the reaction. Words can trigger memories, good, bad, nostalgic - and not related to the spoken subject at all.

Variability is an evolutionary defense against preditors. Variablilty is good!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,774 Posts
To call it a mask would not be doing justice to the complexities of your personality,
Rather see it as an advantage that you have so many different views of yourself,
So many nooks and crannies people can explore and find out about :)

I don't think this is an INFJ thing,
It's more related to the persons want and ability to express themselves in a certain environment,
Their perceived ideas on what those around them would seek,
Or prefer,
It's the adaptation of one to the situation,
And in itself the adaptation of ones core personality to fit the need at the time!

It's better to be different with every other person,
Than to have one solid definition of who you are!
 
1 - 17 of 17 Posts
Top