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Discussion Starter #1
Does anyone call you "Saint", "Goody-Two Shoes" or something similar?

I find that a lot of people perceive me as a goody-two shoes who can do no wrong. This is either, a) a stranger's first impression of me, or b) a remark made by someone who knows me well and isn't the nicest of people. Like my sister. Growing up, she *always* called me things like "nun" or "saint" because I was a good little Catholic girl for the longest time (well, she was Catholic, too, but I didn't slap those labels onto her). I can't stand names like that. I feel like people think that I am trying to place myself on a pedestal when they toss labels like that my way. Even though Type 1s are referred to as "The Perfectionist", we are anything but perfect (we just chose to strive for an impossible to reach ideal). We are humans, and we make mistakes. I, for one, have made some serious mistakes over the course of my lifetime. So not only are labels like "nun", "saint" and "goody-two shoes" annoying, they're downright false.

Anyone else here been accused of similar?
 

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I've been called "uptight," "hitler," "nazi," "my name + another nazi reference," "demon," "killer," "princess," "psycho," "crazy," and once (by a delusional four) as "perfect."

Most of those were earned in the work field. I don't allow people to turn in shoddy work and waste my time, and was known to fist fight/threaten people who persisted in handing in crap. I even set a guy's paper on fire after he dared hand it in without applying the notes I'd given him.

The "uptight" one came from family, though.

So no, I never earned the nickname of "saint" or "goody two shoes." Not now, not ever.
 
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I've been called "uptight," "hitler," "nazi," "my name + another nazi reference," "demon," "killer," "princess," "psycho," "crazy," and once (by a delusional four) as "perfect."

Most of those were earned in the work field. I don't allow people to turn in shoddy work and waste my time, and was known to fist fight/threaten people who persisted in handing in crap. I even set a guy's paper on fire after he dared hand it in without applying the notes I'd given him.



The "uptight" one came from family, though.

So no, I never earned the nickname of "saint" or "goody two shoes." Not now, not ever.
Thanks for the honest reply.

You set someone's paper on fire? That's...not a very 1-ish thing to do.:laughing:
 

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Thanks for the honest reply.

You set someone's paper on fire? That's...not a very 1-ish thing to do.:laughing:
Yeah...I then proceeded to drop it on the carpet floor and watch as the guy tried to stamp it out with his sandal before the floor caught fire. Needless to say, he was pissed afterwards.

I can get carried away when I'm angry.

Couldn't that count as righteous indignation in it's full glory? ;)

EDIT: Actually, now that I think about it, I do stuff like that on a regular basis. A few weeks ago, I grabbed a pot of hot tea in a restaurant and threatened to pour it on a coworker if he didn't shut up. He shut up.

I threatened to chew out my boss if he didn't apologize to another assistant he'd unfairly blamed for my mistake. He apologized.

I threatened to open a car door full way on a freeway (we were going 80 mph) if a person didn't turn off the AC. She turned off the AC.

More often then not, I don't have to carry through with my threats. People get the message and do what I want before it hits the fan. Those few who do push me into action don't forget it.
 
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Yeah...I then proceeded to drop it on the carpet floor and watch as the guy tried to stamp it out with his sandal before the floor caught fire. Needless to say, he was pissed afterwards.

I can get carried away when I'm angry.

Couldn't that count as righteous indignation in it's full glory? ;)

EDIT: Actually, now that I think about it, I do stuff like that on a regular basis. A few weeks ago, I grabbed a pot of hot tea in a restaurant and threatened to pour it on a coworker if he didn't shut up. He shut up.

I threatened to chew out my boss if he didn't apologize to another assistant he'd unfairly blamed for my mistake. He apologized.

I threatened to open a car door full way on a freeway (we were going 80 mph) if a person didn't turn off the AC. She turned off the AC.

More often then not, I don't have to carry through with my threats. People get the message and do what I want before it hits the fan. Those few who do push me into action don't forget it.
I'll make sure to avoid making you mad, then.

You sure you're not an 8?
 

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I'll make sure to avoid making you mad, then.

You sure you're not an 8?
::sigh:: I have no idea. Why can't enneagram workshop classes be free?

EDIT: I wouldn't worry about making me mad. You'd have to be incredibly stupid to push me there, and you don't seem like the type to do it. ;)
 

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Discussion Starter #8
::sigh:: I have no idea. Why can't enneagram workshop classes be free?

EDIT: I wouldn't worry about making me mad. You'd have to be incredibly stupid to push me there, and you don't seem like the type to do it. ;)
I don't think you need an Enneagram workshop to figure out who you are. I can see some instructors being really rigid about typing, etc (then again, some may not). Read books on the Enneagram. Look up online descriptions of each type. Basically, what many people here have already done.

IMO, you seem more like an 8 than a 1, if you're trying to decide between those two.

I wouldn't try to make you mad. I actually try to avoid conflict when possible.
 

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My friends at work just consider me to not be outgoing and serious about controlling the rate I drink when at the bar. If they push me to drink when I've already said no then I may end up getting pissed off at them and ruining the mood. When it comes to being a good employee, given I'm on good terms with management, I maybe perceived as a goody two shoes because I exceed expectations but they never say that out loud. I think it is perceived as overly serious instead of goody two shoes.

No, I never get called either of those things, but people know I put a great amount of emphasis on discipline.
 

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Oh- and the principal of my high school called me "The Perfectionist Who is Her Own Worst Critic". This was at my graduation ceremony. One of the first things my mother said to me afterwards was, "Your principal is right- you are your own worst critic." Interesting remark, coming from the enabler to my abusive dad.
 

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Yeah...I then proceeded to drop it on the carpet floor and watch as the guy tried to stamp it out with his sandal before the floor caught fire. Needless to say, he was pissed afterwards.

I can get carried away when I'm angry.

Couldn't that count as righteous indignation in it's full glory? ;)

EDIT: Actually, now that I think about it, I do stuff like that on a regular basis. A few weeks ago, I grabbed a pot of hot tea in a restaurant and threatened to pour it on a coworker if he didn't shut up. He shut up.

I threatened to chew out my boss if he didn't apologize to another assistant he'd unfairly blamed for my mistake. He apologized.

I threatened to open a car door full way on a freeway (we were going 80 mph) if a person didn't turn off the AC. She turned off the AC.

More often then not, I don't have to carry through with my threats. People get the message and do what I want before it hits the fan. Those few who do push me into action don't forget it.
Just out of curiosity, how are all these events examples of "righteous indignation"? Besides anger, what is your motivation when you threaten- or carry out a threat against- individuals who have made you upset?
 

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Oh- and my sister has called me "Jesus" before. I have a feeling that she has projected her own issues onto me in the past (can't say what the case is now, as my family and I don't speak).
Was Jesus ENFJ or ESFJ? I personally think ENFJ because he spoke in parables? But what do you think?
 

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Just out of curiosity, how are all these events examples of "righteous indignation"? Besides anger, what is your motivation when you threaten- or carry out a threat against- individuals who have made you upset?
They didn't do what they were told to do. That's probably not righteous anger, to be honest, but I don't necessarily see it as wrong either.

My motivation is to get them to get them to do what I want. Unless someone fronts me with a good explanation as to why my way will not help/benefit a situation, I see no reason for them not to comply. I don't ask people to do something without reason.

To use a previous example:

The guy I threatened to pour hot tea on was a producer I was working with on a film. The director, his AD, the producer, and I were holed up in a Japanese restaurant at 1 AM the morning before our shoot trying to work out the last few kinks in the script. We had been up all week working on it with no sleep. For some reason, the producer thought this would be a good time to mention he hadn't read the script at all.

RULE # 1 FOR ANY PRODUCER: Read the FUCKING script.

That's not my rule. That's a rule for film. To learn the producer had not even done his basic duty the morning of our shoot was BULLSHIT. I handed him my copy (which I had nearly memorized, being the writer) and told him to read it. He proceeded to do so and make snide comments every other few seconds (mind you, these comments were not helpful for the stressed director, AD, and I-- they were just flat out asinine).

I told him to shut up and read the script to himself. His comments were only making the situation more stressful. He continued to make comments, further aggravating the situation, so I finally grabbed the tea, held it out over him, and told him if he opened his mouth again and said something unhelpful I would pour it on him and personally throw him out of the restaurant. He got the message and shut up, giving the director, AD, and I the silence needed to focus on getting the script detailed hammered out.

The producer had no good reason not to have read the script. He had no good reason for his blatant stupidity/incompetence. He also had no damn good reason to try and further upset an already stressful situation.

I remedied the situation nicely the first time (by giving him my script). When he persisted in being a nuisance, I stepped up my response until he finally did what I wanted. My actions, in my light, were perfectly right and acceptable. They were the actions needed to resolve a situation that did not need to happen.

My anger, to me, seems righteously deserved in such a situation. While the producer might not think so (and honestly, fuck him for being such a moron), I don't really care. There are things you do and things you don't do-- he crossed the line and needed to be put in his place. I don't mind being the one to do it-- it just needs to be done.

This probably sounds aggressive as hell, and I apologize if it does. I am still somewhat pissed at that producer for his behavior.

EDIT: I'm not sure I answered your last question with my pseudo-rant. It's not anger that motivates me, per se. Anger is more a natural byproduct that occurs when situations are complicated by incompetent assholes.

My motivation is more to show that there are consequences for stupidity. It's also a good way of showing where the line is drawn-- if you back down on certain things, you subconsciously tell the person it's okay to pull shit like that again. If you step up to situations the first time, you let people know what they can and cannot get away with.

Actually, I went camping this weekend and had my companion try and manipulate me into doing something for her (she's a self-typed, through and through 3w2). I've told her before I do not tolerate that, and will not tolerate it if she tries (she's very manipulative with other people). So when she did, my reaction was strong-- I took half the items she'd asked me to handle and tossed them into the bonfire. The other half (non burnable items) I left as they were and let her deal with herself. Needless to say, she will not pull shit like that on me again for some time.

Did I feel bad later? Of course. I don't like to burn people's belongings and I certainly don't like having to be an asshole to a good friend. But there are boundaries and lines that have to be maintained.

Look at it this way-- if I had brushed her behavior off and chosen to acknowledge her request, I would have sent her a sign that it was okay for her to manipulate me like that. That, in my opinion, is a lot more damaging to a long term friendship (because it sets up false expectations of what I'm willing to do on her side) than a night of dealing with her being pissed off.

As Robert Frost's poem says, "good fences make good neighbors."

EDIT: And I apologize for the language of this piece.

EDIT: It might be interesting to know that I wrestled with my Christian principles in this case. I probably should have "turned the other cheek," so to speak, in this situation. Looking back, my response was out of line with my beliefs. But I felt it was absolutely necessary to lay out boundaries.

I'm actually somewhat conflicted on points like that at times. There's the Christian thing to do-- and then there's what I think I should do. UGH. I need to spend more time with the Bible.
 
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Discussion Starter #18
@JuliaRhys

Thanks again for the honest reply. A lot of interesting points in there. A few things stood out for me, such as the following statement:

My motivation is to get them to get them to do what I want. Unless someone fronts me with a good explanation as to why my way will not help/benefit a situation, I see no reason for them not to comply. I don't ask people to do something without reason.
It's good that you know what your motivation is when you deal with people that frustrate you. That's actually an important part to figuring out your true self, in my opinion.

Would you say that you've always had a need to have others comply with what you ask, or would you say that this is a more recent motivator for you? For instance, a lot of the people you seem to get upset with are in your line of work. And from your posts, I can tell that you have a very strong passion for what you do. Would you say that you display your anger mostly in your line of work, or is it something you do in other areas of your life as well? For instance, the example with your friend. Is the encounter you had with her a typical one that you would have with other friends? Or just a select few who are manipulators?
 

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@JuliaRhys
It's good that you know what your motivation is when you deal with people that frustrate you. That's actually an important part to figuring out your true self, in my opinion.
If it gives you any insight on my type, I'd love to hear it (although provide it in a PM so as not to derail this thread). As for me, I don't think it clarifies anything.

Would you say that you've always had a need to have others comply with what you ask, or would you say that this is a more recent motivator for you?
This is hard to answer. I would say regarding important things, it's a need. If I'm asking someone to do something, it's usually because I can't do it myself.

It's definitely not a recent thing. I was told I could be pushy as a kid (and I was).

For instance, a lot of the people you seem to get upset with are in your line of work. And from your posts, I can tell that you have a very strong passion for what you do. Would you say that you display your anger mostly in your line of work, or is it something you do in other areas of your life as well?
Surprisingly, most of my coworkers think of me as sweet, nice, and generally laid back. Most openly laugh at the idea that I could every get angry over something. Then again, I have a high stupidity tolerance at work (ie. professionalism) and can ignore most things. But when things do happen that hit me at the wrong angle, I go "through the roof" so to speak, no matter who the person. The producer being a case in point.

I'm more likely to get angry with friends and family. People I care about.

In general, I react to a lack of efficiency or general stupidity that will hurt/negatively impact myself or those I care about.

For example, I had a friend who hung out with a very negative fellow. He would purposely insult her in front of his other friends or embarrass her for his own entertainment. After describing all the things he'd done to her, she asked for my advice. I told her to drop him. She continued to hang out with him. A month later, things got worse and she came back to me for advice. I again told her to drop him, although this time my response was a little more emphatic. Again, she ignored my advice.

A few more months passed and things got even worse. She came to me a third time. At this, I exploded and told her either to take me to the guy's house so I could end the friendship myself or to take my advice and be done with it. Her response was to tell me she would never hand over the guy's home address for fear I would drive over and threaten the guy into ending the friendship.

Would I have driven over? Yes. Would I have threatened the guy? Potentially. Would I have enjoyed it? No. But I care about my friends and am willing to fight on their behalf even when they make stupid decisions.

For instance, the example with your friend. Is the encounter you had with her a typical one that you would have with other friends? Or just a select few who are manipulators?
I generally just refuse to play ball when people try to manipulate me by outright calling their ploy.

This particular reaction occured because she knowingly broke through friendship boundaries we'd already established earlier in our relationship (I'd told her before this I would not tolerate her manipulative behavior). My hard push back was a solid reminder that those boundaries were still in place.

In general, though, I don't burn people's stuff or anything. That's a very last-resort sort of thing (literally, all the situations I've described have been last-resort-- the result of having my nice requests rebuffed without reason).
 

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I don't think you need an Enneagram workshop to figure out who you are. I can see some instructors being really rigid about typing, etc (then again, some may not). Read books on the Enneagram. Look up online descriptions of each type. Basically, what many people here have already done.

IMO, you seem more like an 8 than a 1, if you're trying to decide between those two.

I wouldn't try to make you mad. I actually try to avoid conflict when possible.
Sx/so ones can seem more eight-like:
Sexual/Social

The instinctual energy of this subtype is the most at odds with their dominant Oneness. This subtype is the most intense. They are looking for perfection in everyone they are close to, not just their spouses. They can be very charismatic and engaging. They can also be very persuasive, like the social/sexual. If they have an opinion you are going to hear about it. It’s very important for them to be understood. They are outwardly competitive. Like the social/sexual, they too may be mistyped as other enneatypes. The anger that is under the surface with the other instinctual variants of type One is much more likely to be apparent with this subtype. You always know where you stand with them. They can mimic type Eight's energy in this regard. On the high side, this type is warm and engaging, but on the down side this same energy can bring with it the full brunt of the One's anger and the need to be right.
I guess I have a one fix and I'm a sexual dom and I am... intense. As a kid I punched my friend in the stomach for stepping on a grasshopper. Once I chewed out this chick for making a derogatory statement about a hispanic woman in the middle of an elevator of new year's eve party goers. I'm talking yelled at her in front of her friends, almost started a fight. When people do cruel things against my values I want to beat them up (not that I do now that I'm older.) I've had to stop playing tennis because I would throw my racket and bash it on the ground and yell at everyone when I screwed up, hit myself in the head. I think one combined with sexual energy makes it come out in a more visceral, physical, argumentative way. We have a harder time holding it in, which can make it seem eight-ish, but it comes from a very different motivation.
 
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