Just out of curiosity, how are all these events examples of "righteous indignation"? Besides anger, what is your motivation when you threaten- or carry out a threat against- individuals who have made you upset?
They didn't do what they were told to do. That's probably not righteous anger, to be honest, but I don't necessarily see it as wrong either.
My motivation is to get them to get them to do what I want. Unless someone fronts me with a good explanation as to why my way will not help/benefit a situation, I see no reason for them not to comply. I don't ask people to do something without reason.
To use a previous example:
The guy I threatened to pour hot tea on was a producer I was working with on a film. The director, his AD, the producer, and I were holed up in a Japanese restaurant at 1 AM the morning before our shoot trying to work out the last few kinks in the script. We had been up all week working on it with no sleep. For some reason, the producer thought this would be a good time to mention he hadn't read the script at all.
RULE # 1 FOR ANY PRODUCER: Read the FUCKING script.
That's not my rule. That's a rule for film. To learn the producer had not even done his basic duty the morning of our shoot was BULLSHIT. I handed him my copy (which I had nearly memorized, being the writer) and told him to read it. He proceeded to do so and make snide comments every other few seconds (mind you, these comments were not helpful for the stressed director, AD, and I-- they were just flat out asinine).
I told him to shut up and read the script to himself. His comments were only making the situation more stressful. He continued to make comments, further aggravating the situation, so I finally grabbed the tea, held it out over him, and told him if he opened his mouth again and said something unhelpful I would pour it on him and personally throw him out of the restaurant. He got the message and shut up, giving the director, AD, and I the silence needed to focus on getting the script detailed hammered out.
The producer had no good reason not to have read the script. He had no good reason for his blatant stupidity/incompetence. He also had no damn good reason to try and further upset an already stressful situation.
I remedied the situation nicely the first time (by giving him my script). When he persisted in being a nuisance, I stepped up my response until he finally did what I wanted. My actions, in my light, were perfectly right and acceptable. They were the actions needed to resolve a situation that did not need to happen.
My anger, to me, seems righteously deserved in such a situation. While the producer might not think so (and honestly, fuck him for being such a moron), I don't really care. There are things you do and things you don't do-- he crossed the line and needed to be put in his place. I don't mind being the one to do it-- it just needs to be done.
This probably sounds aggressive as hell, and I apologize if it does. I am still somewhat pissed at that producer for his behavior.
EDIT: I'm not sure I answered your last question with my pseudo-rant. It's not anger that motivates me, per se. Anger is more a natural byproduct that occurs when situations are complicated by incompetent assholes.
My motivation is more to show that there are consequences for stupidity. It's also a good way of showing where the line is drawn-- if you back down on certain things, you subconsciously tell the person it's okay to pull shit like that again. If you step up to situations the first time, you let people know what they can and cannot get away with.
Actually, I went camping this weekend and had my companion try and manipulate me into doing something for her (she's a self-typed, through and through 3w2). I've told her before I do not tolerate that, and will not tolerate it if she tries (she's very manipulative with other people). So when she did, my reaction was strong-- I took half the items she'd asked me to handle and tossed them into the bonfire. The other half (non burnable items) I left as they were and let her deal with herself. Needless to say, she will not pull shit like that on me again for some time.
Did I feel bad later? Of course. I don't like to burn people's belongings and I certainly don't like having to be an asshole to a good friend. But there are boundaries and lines that have to be maintained.
Look at it this way-- if I had brushed her behavior off and chosen to acknowledge her request, I would have sent her a sign that it was okay for her to manipulate me like that. That, in my opinion, is a lot more damaging to a long term friendship (because it sets up false expectations of what I'm willing to do on her side) than a night of dealing with her being pissed off.
As Robert Frost's poem says, "good fences make good neighbors."
EDIT: And I apologize for the language of this piece.
EDIT: It might be interesting to know that I wrestled with my Christian principles in this case. I probably should have "turned the other cheek," so to speak, in this situation. Looking back, my response was out of line with my beliefs. But I felt it was absolutely necessary to lay out boundaries.
I'm actually somewhat conflicted on points like that at times. There's the Christian thing to do-- and then there's what I think I should do. UGH. I need to spend more time with the Bible.
