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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Does anyone else feel invisible in social settings? Like you'll say something and no one even acknowledges your presence. It really bums me out because this happens to me constantly. It makes me feel like it wouldn't matter if I was there or not. It seems like I'm constantly getting overthrown and drowned out of the conversation. People will talk over me and interrupt me everytime I say something. Honestly I've dreaded social events altogether because of this. I don't know it's just frustrating to listen to so many people and not being listened to in return.

Does this happen to anyone else? How do you cope with it? What was your experience?
 

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I feel your pain, really. I feel better nowadays, with the people I know today. But I really know that feeling. Don't let it scar you, it will be better, there are other people out there, who will be able to get you, I promise! :)
Look out for xNFJ's and IxFP's. :)
 

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This is my first post, I've lurked here before - but on this occasion found this thread hunting for answers to the very same question, as yes, I often feel invisible in social settings. Sometimes it's just a feeling - but today I was out with an organised group, I had to check my phone, and when I looked up the group had all gone, nobody thought to check I was tagging along or not, hmmm...

When I get to go one to one I amaze and endear people with my listening skills! But in a group, I just feel more and more drained trying to listen to everyone and trying to chip in with my ideas about subjects that the rest of the group seems to have long moved on from! I just feel out of synch with everything around me if I am in a social setting. On the other hand, give me the group facilitator badge and I'm very skilful indeed, unless I get a real loudmouth to deal with!
 

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This does happen to me. I like to listen and usually by the time I'm ready to contribute to whatever conversation is happening, I've already overthought it, and everyone is now on a new topic...it's frustrating sometimes.

What's even more frustrating is when people talk over me in a one-on-one situation. I have a few close friends who do this. They interrupt me right as I'm about to say something. It makes me feel like what I was about to say is unimportant and they don't really care. Often I'm discouraged from finishing my thought.
 

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I feel this too. People talk over me and never acknowledge what I say. This makes me hide in my own shell. I stop trying to talk and I usually walk away. I am done trying to get attention from people who don't want to see or hear me.
 

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Yes, and no. I get interrupted a lot, but I am capable of speaking up when I need to. However, I do get ignored a lot, people just seem to not be capable of acknowledging my positive traits.
 

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I'm the same as well- except for when I'm with my close friends. I was in the same class as someone for all my subjects and only 10 weeks later she realised...honestly! No one listens to my opinion or even acknowledges it and it frustrates me. Just because I'm quiet and all doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I generally hate the kids in my school.

I'm definitely introverted but I like to voice my opinion. The thing is, you don't need to care about them because they don't care about you. That quote helps me deal with it <3
 

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This does happen to me. I like to listen and usually by the time I'm ready to contribute to whatever conversation is happening, I've already overthought it, and everyone is now on a new topic...it's frustrating sometimes.

What's even more frustrating is when people talk over me in a one-on-one situation. I have a few close friends who do this. They interrupt me right as I'm about to say something. It makes me feel like what I was about to say is unimportant and they don't really care. Often I'm discouraged from finishing my thought.
Yes, some people do this indeed, and it's hard not to take it personal, probably they just can't listen and like to talk about themselves, but it's always an "awch''
Like your picture btw, you look like a very nice person. :)
 

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omg yes this is my life.

at risk of being self-indulgent i feel like no one appreciates me as much as they do other people. it's not even about being nice- other people's niceness can be acknowledged and fawned over but yours can't. and at the same time, that probably means you're that one guy who has a lot of good friends who come to you when they have problems but has no constant best friend that's gonna be there for you :(
 

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People do ignore others in public a lot, and talk over quieter ones. But it doesn't really bother me to be invisible to most people. I think it bothers me more when someone who I think should be able to see me, can't. Or if I have something important to contribute that no one else has thought of, I want to have that idea acknowledged for itself.

With the idea, I have learned to just command attention. And if it's important enough, I'll just repeat myself. But this happens more in meetings and classes and not casual social settings. I don't want to have to concern myself with talking over others for fun, which is why I like to talk to people individually, rather than in a group, usually.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I feel your pain, really. I feel better nowadays, with the people I know today. But I really know that feeling. Don't let it scar you, it will be better, there are other people out there, who will be able to get you, I promise! :)
Look out for xNFJ's and IxFP's. :)

Thanks for responding! :) I just need to speak up more.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
People do ignore others in public a lot, and talk over quieter ones. But it doesn't really bother me to be invisible to most people. I think it bothers me more when someone who I think should be able to see me, can't. Or if I have something important to contribute that no one else has thought of, I want to have that idea acknowledged for itself.

With the idea, I have learned to just command attention. And if it's important enough, I'll just repeat myself. But this happens more in meetings and classes and not casual social settings. I don't want to have to concern myself with talking over others for fun, which is why I like to talk to people individually, rather than in a group, usually

Yes I know what you mean. It is frustrating when close friends and even family do it. I do agree that talking individually is a lot better. I like doing that too! :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I'm the same as well- except for when I'm with my close friends. I was in the same class as someone for all my subjects and only 10 weeks later she realised...honestly! No one listens to my opinion or even acknowledges it and it frustrates me. Just because I'm quiet and all doesn't mean I don't have feelings. I generally hate the kids in my school.

I'm definitely introverted but I like to voice my opinion. The thing is, you don't need to care about them because they don't care about you. That quote helps me deal with it <3
Thanks for commenting. I know I didn't socialize with many people in school either. That quote does help a little. I hope that one day it will get better, and we'll actually be heard.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
This is my first post, I've lurked here before - but on this occasion found this thread hunting for answers to the very same question, as yes, I often feel invisible in social settings. Sometimes it's just a feeling - but today I was out with an organised group, I had to check my phone, and when I looked up the group had all gone, nobody thought to check I was tagging along or not, hmmm...

When I get to go one to one I amaze and endear people with my listening skills! But in a group, I just feel more and more drained trying to listen to everyone and trying to chip in with my ideas about subjects that the rest of the group seems to have long moved on from! I just feel out of synch with everything around me if I am in a social setting. On the other hand, give me the group facilitator badge and I'm very skilful indeed, unless I get a real loudmouth to deal with!
Yes, exactly in group setting I feel so drained it's overwhelming listening and chiming into conversations. It takes me awhile to think of something to say so by the time I've gathered my thought the conversation is on another topic lol. Us INFPs are good at facilitating groups. :)
 

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Yes. Growing up, I was talked over a lot, so I learned to talk over others if necessary. It's not a skill I'm proud of, but I can command attention now if it's a must. I'm also more comfortable with myself and will contribute more readily to conversations, but it depends on the who and what of the conversation. Whether it is appreciated or tolerated, I do not always know. People seem to think poorly of me when silent too (ie unfriendly), so might as well interject when I feel comfortable to do so.

I still am easily forgotten. I dont feel prioritized by anyone, as far as a friend they must speak to or spend time with. In larger social groups, I dont feel sought out and can easily sit on the sidelines, unnoticed. If I reach out to others, I dont feel like I am someone they really want to reach out to them, and so they are only receptive if there is no other option. I get a sense of burdening people with my presence, so I will just hang back instead. The differences in how people receive me from others is what fuels this perception. It is a notable difference, and sometimes it is better to keep your obscurity than to force people to notice you and receive confirmation of their indifference or even distaste.
 

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Yes. Growing up, I was talked over a lot, so I learned to talk over others if necessary. It's not a skill I'm proud of, but I can command attention now if it's a must. I'm also more comfortable with myself and will contribute more readily to conversations, but it depends on the who and what of the conversation. Whether it is appreciated or tolerated, I do not always know. People seem to think poorly of me when silent too (ie unfriendly), so might as well interject when I feel comfortable to do so.

I still am easily forgotten. I dont feel prioritized by anyone, as far as a friend they must speak to or spend time with. In larger social groups, I dont feel sought out and can easily sit on the sidelines, unnoticed. If I reach out to others, I dont feel like I am someone they really want to reach out to them, and so they are only receptive if there is no other option. I get a sense of burdening people with my presence, so I will just hang back instead. The differences in how people receive me from others is what fuels this perception. It is a notable difference, and sometimes it is better to keep your obscurity than to force people to notice you and receive confirmation of their indifference or even distaste.
How do you exactly "command attention"? When I am offended and irritated enough by others talking over me and not acknowledging me when I attempt to talk with them or ask something. I take advantage of it for my enjoyment by playing a prank or doing something that causes a sudden disruption to their order and make them go like "Woah WTF?!". Sometimes they don't even notice until the prank gets them which I laugh/chuckle hysterically at and attempt to hide it.
 
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