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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So, I love being me. I see so much that many of my peers miss. I wouldn't change my personality if I could. However, I can't help but feel like, as a ENFP, and more particularly as an ENFP type 8, I am going to have a hard time as I face adulthood. I feel like my personality limits me, in school, at home, and with friends. I know a lot of people feel like this, but I guess I just need some support.

this post sounded a lot better in my mind, but now it just feels gushy, and I'm still cutting myself off from going further.
 

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The only way we can hold ourselves back is if we "hold ourselves". We ENFPs have limitless potential and you have to remember that. You have more potential than you realize. You just have to see it.
 

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I'm an ENFP with ADD. Yeah, that's a recipe for disaster. I quit school after I finished high school because college was too much for me and now I'm poor and can't find a job. Life is ridiculously hard for us. But I think we're going to end up more fulfilled. I love the way I see the world. I wish others would love it too, even if they don't understand.
 

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Honestly, every type has their setbacks in life. We're lucky because we get to see so much beauty in the world and in people and find meaning in things others pass by! However, it's true, sometimes I want to change my personality. I get frustrated with my lack of being able to follow up and inability to feel neutrally toward anything. I am especially frustrated by the lack of being able to formulate my thoughts well inside my head. It seems silly to have to talk to think! But you know what? There's no right or wrong personality, it's just the way you handle it. I think I saw another poster on here saw that we should focus on our strengths and manage our weaknesses. For me that means writing down my comments instead of always vocalizing them. It also means learning to walk away from a situation without allowing myself the opportunity to analyze whether my actions made a person like me! If they were kindly meant, then they were kindly meant.

The best thing for when you are feeling disadvantaged and upset is to start making lists of what you do have and what you're grateful for. It has helped me IMMENSELY, especially when I was going through a break up period and found it difficult to trust God for my future. My list includes things from a good conversation with my mother to watching a friend be healed from her emotional wounds to the sunset to a particular song coming on the radio!

@The King Of Dreams is so right, you have infinite potential! It may take a little extra time and effort to learn the best way to manage your weaknesses (alerts on the phone calender, anyone?), but you're unstoppable if you let yourself be!
 

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I think everyone faces limits in terms of the degree to which the goals you have require being someone you aren't. There are times we all have to fake it to get by, but if, for example, your goal is to be a big corporate mover and shaker the same way an ESTJ would, you will find yourself faking it more and more the further up the ladder you climb. I don't think our limits lie in our abilities, but in the extent to which we can stand not being ourselves. So for any goal you have, you need to make sure the way you're getting there is the ENFP way or you'll be really unhappy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
The only limits you have are the ones you place on yourself. Real talk ;)
Honestly, every type has their setbacks in life. We're lucky because we get to see so much beauty in the world and in people and find meaning in things others pass by! However, it's true, sometimes I want to change my personality. I get frustrated with my lack of being able to follow up and inability to feel neutrally toward anything. I am especially frustrated by the lack of being able to formulate my thoughts well inside my head. It seems silly to have to talk to think! But you know what? There's no right or wrong personality, it's just the way you handle it. I think I saw another poster on here saw that we should focus on our strengths and manage our weaknesses. For me that means writing down my comments instead of always vocalizing them. It also means learning to walk away from a situation without allowing myself the opportunity to analyze whether my actions made a person like me! If they were kindly meant, then they were kindly meant.

The best thing for when you are feeling disadvantaged and upset is to start making lists of what you do have and what you're grateful for. It has helped me IMMENSELY, especially when I was going through a break up period and found it difficult to trust God for my future. My list includes things from a good conversation with my mother to watching a friend be healed from her emotional wounds to the sunset to a particular song coming on the radio!

@The King Of Dreams is so right, you have infinite potential! It may take a little extra time and effort to learn the best way to manage your weaknesses (alerts on the phone calender, anyone?), but you're unstoppable if you let yourself be!
What I'm trying to say is that I'm my own worst enemy, and I really wish it was easier to get along in this society, because I won't get anything I want if I don't act like someone else entirely. What @My Sweet Stalin said was really helpful for clarifying my thoughts.

...Yo! Hmmm... why did you want to find me?
I just wanted to talk to someone I knew I could trust:) I'll pm you
 

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What I'm trying to say is that I'm my own worst enemy, and I really wish it was easier to get along in this society, because I won't get anything I want if I don't act like someone else entirely. What @My Sweet Stalin said was really helpful for clarifying my thoughts.
Wow, glad I could help. I think it's also good to keep in mind that the ENFP way of doing anything, once you figure out what it actually is, is going to be totally badass and really sweet.

Now I just need to take my own advice. That's the hard part!
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 · (Edited)
Wow, glad I could help. I think it's also good to keep in mind that the ENFP way of doing anything, once you figure out what it actually is, is going to be totally badass and really sweet.

Now I just need to take my own advice. That's the hard part!
True shit. I don't listen to myself; see above 'I'm my own worst enemy'
 

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I don't really relate to this at all... ENFPs are one of the blessed personality types that usually have the capability of being good at anything if they try hard enough. Literally. It obviously can be seen as a curse, as well, since you end up great at lots of things but not a total master of anything-- but nonetheless, it's really something that can put you at a huge advantage in comparison to others. Especially in the job market.

Long story short, I don't feel limited and no ENFP should.
 

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I can sort of see where you coming from, it's not like soceity is structured for ENFPs, of any of the NFs for that matter. But that doesn't mean we aren't intelligent people who are better than some at certain things and maybe disadvantaged at other things. Find what you're good at, find what you enjoy and fuck everything else. You'll probably do just fine so why bother worrying about it?
 

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I can sort of see where you coming from, it's not like soceity is structured for ENFPs, of any of the NFs for that matter...
You made the point I was thinking about, how the whole concept of structure in general isn't usually an ENFPs first thought... So while life may appear easier for other types that might enjoy structure and rules, you can definitely find your niche somewhere in the cracks of all that rigidity...

I usually am too abstract in my initial thoughts, so I always try to force myself to give a concrete example:
I do software programming and am no super expert in any specific field (e.g. physics, controls, device drivers, interfaces, etc...) but I have dabbled in all of those areas. So my strength is in developing quick functioning prototypes by hooking together existing software written by other specialists (likely NTs and SJs) in a novel way to create something useful to a real human end user... So my niche is straddling the line between hardware and software by doing systems integration... So generalists have a place in the world because you can see enough of everything all at once to know how it might fit together...

A book that made me feel appreciated and understood with regard to how I fit into "the real world" is the Teenage Liberation Handbook by Grace Llewellyn. It really feels like the idea of Unschooling applies very well with NF types. The chapter on "The Glorious Generalist" really boosted my confidence and helped me feel like there really is a place in society where I can contribute and feel good about it at the same time...

All that said, I'm sort of in-between careers right now and chasing more rainbows!!!
 
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I feel limited because I can only be one person with one life and a limited set of experiences and viewpoints, but that has no -- well, actually, I guess that has EVERYTHING to do with being an ENFP. :tongue:
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
And you quoted me for what reason? X)
Accident
I don't really relate to this at all... ENFPs are one of the blessed personality types that usually have the capability of being good at anything if they try hard enough. Literally. It obviously can be seen as a curse, as well, since you end up great at lots of things but not a total master of anything-- but nonetheless, it's really something that can put you at a huge advantage in comparison to others. Especially in the job market.

Long story short, I don't feel limited and no ENFP should.
I'm not saying that being a jack of all trades is a limit, I'm saying that I have to fight against myself all the time, clearly more than anyone else because I always lose. Maybe that's not because I'm an ENFP, but I wanted to see if anyone else could sympathize.
I can sort of see where you coming from, it's not like soceity is structured for ENFPs, of any of the NFs for that matter. But that doesn't mean we aren't intelligent people who are better than some at certain things and maybe disadvantaged at other things. Find what you're good at, find what you enjoy and fuck everything else. You'll probably do just fine so why bother worrying about it?
That kind of thinking is just my excuse for everything, and I want to move past that.
 
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