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My boyfriend is an INTP and I've never met someone who lives so in his own head. I've never been responsible, never had much of a system in place when it comes to meeting deadlines, keeping things tidy, etc. In college, I would step up only when I had to or when I thought things weren't being done the right way. However, since we've begun living together, I find that if I don't step up when it comes to certain things, they won't get done. If I do ask him to do something, there's maybe a 30% chance he'll do it. So I'll just do it instead. I'm wondering, given it isn't really in my nature to get things done when it comes to practical day-to-day tasks, if anyone else has has a similar experience when living with an intuitive. Or maybe this is just tertiary Si becoming better developed as I get older?
 

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My wife is an ENFJ: I'd say she's a little bit closer to a sensor than I am but we don't bring it out of each other. Although when bouncing ideas off of each other we both can play the role of realist.
 

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My boyfriend is an INTP and I've never met someone who lives so in his own head. I've never been responsible, never had much of a system in place when it comes to meeting deadlines, keeping things tidy, etc. In college, I would step up only when I had to or when I thought things weren't being done the right way. However, since we've begun living together, I find that if I don't step up when it comes to certain things, they won't get done. If I do ask him to do something, there's maybe a 30% chance he'll do it. So I'll just do it instead. I'm wondering, given it isn't really in my nature to get things done when it comes to practical day-to-day tasks, if anyone else has has a similar experience when living with an intuitive. Or maybe this is just tertiary Si becoming better developed as I get older?
Hahaha YES, I totally get this... My mom is an ENFP and I always feel like I have to remind her about things and be the responsible/more grounded one. But now that I'm living with my ISFJ sister, I'm a full blown xNFP :laughing: (much to her annoyance).

But yeah, it could have a lot to do with maturity. From what I understand though, each person kind of brings out a different "you" if you know what I mean (it also greatly depends on mood and situation). And with a relationship on top of that, it might just be you trying to keep harmony and balance, and that's very INFP in my opinion. I bet your internal world is still the same :) you're just trying to keep the peace and avoid conflict. Any personality can act however they choose, but on the inside, I think we stay true even if we don't know it. (and THAT's why people argue about typing accuracy :p but I digress).
 

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Hahaha YES, I totally get this... My mom is an ENFP and I always feel like I have to remind her about things and be the responsible/more grounded one. But now that I'm living with my ISFJ sister, I'm a full blown xNFP :laughing: (much to her annoyance).

But yeah, it could have a lot to do with maturity. From what I understand though, each person kind of brings out a different "you" if you know what I mean (it also greatly depends on mood and situation). And with a relationship on top of that, it might just be you trying to keep harmony and balance, and that's very INFP in my opinion. I bet your internal world is still the same :) you're just trying to keep the peace and avoid conflict. Any personality can act however they choose, but on the inside, I think we stay true even if we don't know it. (and THAT's why people argue about typing accuracy :p but I digress).
YES! When I'm around my ESTJ sister, it's the same! I definitely agree that we present ourselves differently to different people (I have two close friends who are ISFJ and ESFJ, and when I'm around them, I'm pulled more outside of myself and focus a lot on the people around me). So glad you can relate!
 

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My INTJ husband and I both limp along in the practical aspects of grownup living. Sometimes, it is as if we are playing a game of chicken to see who will yield to dreaded tasks—I am the usual loser. Despite the reputation of INTJs as efficient achievers, my husband chooses to hoard his mental energies for his work and pet interests. Perhaps because I was raised by capable and practical ISFJ and ISTP parents, I possess the know-how and ability, though I struggle with motivation and attitude.

However, throughout our relationship, I cannot say that either of us has increased in our “sensor abilities." If anything, as a unit, we are less practical for we indulge (and get trapped) in each other’s abstractions and fantasies. A couple of weeks ago, our refrigerator stopped working. We called out a repair service, but the needed part would take a week to be delivered. We were bummed as we had just grocery shopped and had a stock of perishables. We tried to comfort ourselves by thinking that the animals and the soil will enjoy their unexpected bounty (we live in a heavily forested area). I spoke to my eighty-five-year-old great-aunt the next day and told her of our refrigeration trouble. She replied, “Why don’t you just get a cooler and ice?”

We attempt to keep our lifestyle as simple as possible and to accept our shortcomings with lightness and a sense of humor (sans comparison to our ESTJ/ISTJ neighbors).
 

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Exactly the opposite.
 

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In my experience this is true for all the letters (E/I S/N T/F J/P) - whoever is less strong than the other on a particular trait will end up appearing to 'polarize' to the opposite, this is partly an illusion just because of it being relative to the other person. I always see people talking about needing their opposite to help balance and stretch them, but honestly I find it more effective in getting me to 'grow' in my less favored areas when I'm with someone who is just as weak as me in those things.
 

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In my experience this is true for all the letters (E/I S/N T/F J/P) - whoever is less strong than the other on a particular trait will end up appearing to 'polarize' to the opposite, this is partly an illusion just because of it being relative to the other person. I always see people talking about needing their opposite to help balance and stretch them, but honestly I find it more effective in getting me to 'grow' in my less favored areas when I'm with someone who is just as weak as me in those things.
I agree with this, but I don't think it has to be a whole letter, so to speak, (and don't know if you meant it like that or not), but that one can divide it up to some extent. Like me and my partner are both introverts, so we take turns to play the more extroverted role, but in different areas that we can specialize in a little.
 

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I agree with this, but I don't think it has to be a whole letter, so to speak, (and don't know if you meant it like that or not), but that one can divide it up to some extent. Like me and my partner are both introverts, so we take turns to play the more extroverted role, but in different areas that we can specialize in a little.
yes exactly :)
 
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