I noticed that a recurring theme around this forum is the struggle of INFJs with loneliness and distance. Myself, my INFJ characteristics didn't become quite so pronounced as until the period after high school and during college when I realised that the 'friends' that I had kept during high school had little in common with me once high school was over and I felt quite estranged from the world as I had known it (before, during my senior year of high school and when I was consulting with the careers advisor, I was typing more as an ENFJ/INFJ).
So it got me wondering ...
Does loneliness make the INFJ?
Or, conversely, is it possible to be an INFJ without experiencing a (significant) period of loneliness (perceived or actual)?
Perhaps it is during this period of loneliness that we sink deeper within ourselves, trying to grasp for whatever it is that lies there to fill the emptiness, the void that the world outside could not fill? That this is when the insights come to us, when we are more receptive to and persistent on our quest for knowledge and meaning, making us introspective and what some people may call 'deep'.
Perhaps this solitude brings upon our feelings of disconnection from the rest of the world; with the social masquerades shredded and discarded and having nothing to hide behind but ourselves, we are forced to confront ourselves for who we truly are, becoming painfully aware of our difference, the strangeness that we can never seem to put our finger on. We begin to carry it like a mystery, an inscrutable cloak, the reason why people find us hard to read.
And perhaps it is this knowledge of what it feels like to be alone that makes us wary of others, and cautious when approaching new relationships, but when the right one strikes, we thrive and keep it close to our hearts like a flame struck in the dark?
I'm not saying that you have to be lonely to be an INFJ or loneliness with lead to INFJ-ness. Rather, I am proposing that it is during this loneliness that any innate or latent INFJ characteristics within a person are brought out to the fore and we become, or at least formally recognise ourselves as, INFJ's.
I will be interested to know if anyone has experienced anything similiar (or different) and what their thoughts are on this? Feel free to elaborate as you please.
For me, my loneliness matured me significantly as a person, and made me more self-aware, particularly of what is important and of my goals are in life. I realised that I enjoy my own company, that I love other people and treasure our moments spent together, but I don't need relationships to survive - I can exist happily with myself. It's not cold-hearted, just introspective. And I like being caught up in my head - it's so exciting what goes on up there! (And I swear I'm not insane ... )
I can't regret it (and wouldn't change my experience) because, for me, it has made, or at least unearthed, the INFJ that I am today.
So it got me wondering ...
Does loneliness make the INFJ?
Or, conversely, is it possible to be an INFJ without experiencing a (significant) period of loneliness (perceived or actual)?
Perhaps it is during this period of loneliness that we sink deeper within ourselves, trying to grasp for whatever it is that lies there to fill the emptiness, the void that the world outside could not fill? That this is when the insights come to us, when we are more receptive to and persistent on our quest for knowledge and meaning, making us introspective and what some people may call 'deep'.
Perhaps this solitude brings upon our feelings of disconnection from the rest of the world; with the social masquerades shredded and discarded and having nothing to hide behind but ourselves, we are forced to confront ourselves for who we truly are, becoming painfully aware of our difference, the strangeness that we can never seem to put our finger on. We begin to carry it like a mystery, an inscrutable cloak, the reason why people find us hard to read.
And perhaps it is this knowledge of what it feels like to be alone that makes us wary of others, and cautious when approaching new relationships, but when the right one strikes, we thrive and keep it close to our hearts like a flame struck in the dark?
I'm not saying that you have to be lonely to be an INFJ or loneliness with lead to INFJ-ness. Rather, I am proposing that it is during this loneliness that any innate or latent INFJ characteristics within a person are brought out to the fore and we become, or at least formally recognise ourselves as, INFJ's.
I will be interested to know if anyone has experienced anything similiar (or different) and what their thoughts are on this? Feel free to elaborate as you please.
For me, my loneliness matured me significantly as a person, and made me more self-aware, particularly of what is important and of my goals are in life. I realised that I enjoy my own company, that I love other people and treasure our moments spent together, but I don't need relationships to survive - I can exist happily with myself. It's not cold-hearted, just introspective. And I like being caught up in my head - it's so exciting what goes on up there! (And I swear I'm not insane ... )
I can't regret it (and wouldn't change my experience) because, for me, it has made, or at least unearthed, the INFJ that I am today.