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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Please share your thoughts. I have to admit I think I like people better when/after I know their mbti. I'm aware how silly it is, but it's true. Can anyone relate?

For example, if I know someone to be a (random pick here) INFP, which I like the ideal type/image I have of them (which is impossible to apply to all infp's simply because not one fits into cookie cutters) I find myself more inclined to get to know this person and/or I like them for it. I hate it. Before mbti I would never think this way. It clouds my judgement. And to make matters worse, I don't believe mbti to be an accurate tool for personality (in a scientific sense), yet I allow it to have so much control over how I see others.

At first I thought maybe I was understanding people better. But how mbti doesn't always understand people in an accurate way itself and you can't deny there's more to people than their mbti type.
 

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MBTI is an interesting framework but the principle you must believe in is that every person is unique and the exceptions to the rule are manifold and baffling. I know you already believe this or you would only need to meet 16 people.

I find I make decisions about who I like and who I do not more accurately since delving into personality psychology as a whole. A big part of it is that I know so much more about myself and being a more refined version of myself allows me to identify more strongly with what I do and do not like. It really helps me find my voice and rise out of passivity and become someone who decides what kind of relationships I am going to have with people throughout the day instead of exclusive observation and reactionism.

So it has improved my experience of others if not my view of them.
 

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I would say that it's the opposite before I learned MBTI. A case of intuition usually sorted out the people that I felt would be annoyances and the people I could hang around without being too self conscious over everything.

After finding out, it's a better tool of how I classify people into types then make my move as opposed to 'diving in blind'. While making friends or acquaintances only off of something like MBTI is not really advised, as it can be misleading due to people having different experiences in life, it's something to take in to account when a person is blathering on and on about superficial things or in the corner watching / doing their own thing.

'Is he / she an XXXX or an XXXX?'
'Does this person have any innate characteristics that make them prone to act a certain way?'

I treat MTBI as a simple blueprint of sorts. Nothing more. Nothing less.
 

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I don't base whether I like someone or not off of MBTI, though I am wary or INFPs, now, for certain reasons. I think it allows me to better interact with people when I can pinpoint their type. It gives me a basic premise from which to work. That was I can change how I set something forth or explain something to someone. I still have trouble with Feelers since my feeling is bordering on nonexistent.
 

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though I am wary or INFPs, now, for certain reasons. ... I still have trouble with Feelers since my feeling is bordering on nonexistent.
Why do you avoid INFPs specifically? I ask because I have a "problem" relationship with a particular INFP, where avoidance is not an option. Trying to understand the dynamics of INTP/INFP relationships (not romantic) so I can make the best of it, lol.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I don't base whether I like someone or not off of MBTI, though I am wary or INFPs, now, for certain reasons. I think it allows me to better interact with people when I can pinpoint their type. It gives me a basic premise from which to work. That was I can change how I set something forth or explain something to someone. I still have trouble with Feelers since my feeling is bordering on nonexistent.
I'm curious by what you mean when you say you still have trouble with Feelers and that your feeling is bordering on nonexistent? One of the aspects of MBTI I find annoying is that it does come with a lot of generalising and so when you say "feelers" like that it sounds like that is all there is to them. I guess what I'm saying is that we all have T & F in us and that maybe what you see as feeling and thinking isn't what it is and that you're more capable of what truly is feeling than you know? Here I found a quote from another member who basically said what I'm failing horrible at trying to say:


... I feel I must point out, a preference of F over T does not imply one prefers to "feel" over "think", i.e. to give an emotional response instead of a rational one; all types think, and can think deeply; having a feeling preference does not imply a person is more emotional or feels any deeper, it just means their interests are geared toward ethics/morality. Likewise, T does not imply a person thinks more or less, it's just a preference of logic/knowledge. Feelers can still have a very developed T, and Thinkers can still have a very developed F. :happy:
 

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MBTI allows you to understand people better.

Whether or not you like a person depends on a lot more factors than just how well you understand each other, but it's still better than not understanding.
 

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I'm curious by what you mean when you say you still have trouble with Feelers and that your feeling is bordering on nonexistent? One of the aspects of MBTI I find annoying is that it does come with a lot of generalising and so when you say "feelers" like that it sounds like that is all there is to them. I guess what I'm saying is that we all have T & F in us and that maybe what you see as feeling and thinking isn't what it is and that you're more capable of what truly is feeling than you know? Here I found a quote from another member who basically said what I'm failing horrible at trying to say:
For starters, I'm an aspie and have severe problems with empathy and I don't deal well with emotions. You may wish to read this, which I wrote earlier.

From my limited experience, I don't socialize much, with feelers is they are emotional and irrational. I've known some who were obsessed with morals and ethics, with which I could care less as I see the foundation of such things as nothing more than fallacious emotional attachments. Maybe I've just never come into contact with one who was putting forth his/her thinking side. I probably have but, like I said, I'm not in a social setting all that often. I'm wary of feelers, and I know this is irrational, but I had an extremely horrific experience with one that has scared my being. Now, I'm just trying to get back to normal, whatever that's supposed to be.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
MBTI helps me to understand why I don't like some people.
Yes, I guess it works both ways (why you like or don't like people). Do you find the MBTI stereotypes influence how you will see someone, therefore affecting if you'll like them or not?
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
For starters, I'm an aspie and have severe problems with empathy and I don't deal well with emotions. You may wish to read this, which I wrote earlier.

From my limited experience, I don't socialize much, with feelers is they are emotional and irrational. I've known some who were obsessed with morals and ethics, with which I could care less as I see the foundation of such things as nothing more than fallacious emotional attachments. Maybe I've just never come into contact with one who was putting forth his/her thinking side. I probably have but, like I said, I'm not in a social setting all that often. I'm wary of feelers, and I know this is irrational, but I had an extremely horrific experience with one that has scared my being. Now, I'm just trying to get back to normal, whatever that's supposed to be.
If you don't mind me asking, how well do you deal with your own emotions? Also, are you letting one bad experience with one "Feeler" project onto others? For me I believe the whole Thinking/Feeling spectrum is fluid, not solid and immovable. Therefore, not everyone deemed a "Feeler" may be basing their actions/thoughts/options/behaviours on emotions, even though that's the whole idea of what makes one a feeler.

One more question: Do you feel like there is any emotion in what you have just been explaining to me? If so, what specifics? Like for example do you feel frustrated for being wary of feelers?
 

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I categorize everything in my mind so now I brilliantly have 16 categories for people who I can expect to act in a similar manner. It has helped a lot although I use it more as a framework than as the absolute truth about a person. Hasn't changed my opinion on people in general - I've just been able to analyze why I do or don't get along with some.
 

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no but it does help to understand them
being INTJ = unemotional and never understanding emotional people
now i understand it is not through free will but being pre programmed
that that are more expressive then non rationals
 

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Yes, I guess it works both ways (why you like or don't like people). Do you find the MBTI stereotypes influence how you will see someone, therefore affecting if you'll like them or not?
I don't immediately think of MBTI when I see someone for the first time.
 

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If you don't mind me asking, how well do you deal with your own emotions? Also, are you letting one bad experience with one "Feeler" project onto others? For me I believe the whole Thinking/Feeling spectrum is fluid, not solid and immovable. Therefore, not everyone deemed a "Feeler" may be basing their actions/thoughts/options/behaviours on emotions, even though that's the whole idea of what makes one a feeler.

One more question: Do you feel like there is any emotion in what you have just been explaining to me? If so, what specifics? Like for example do you feel frustrated for being wary of feelers?
I don't deal well with my emotions; they are highly intellectualized. You'd be lucky to get an emotional response out of me unless you were my significant other and knew how to do so or were physically violent with me. I've been told I'm the most logical and rational person many people know. I don't smile often resulting in people thinking I'm mean or angry all the time. It's just how my face is, how I am. I've also been called a robot, an android, unfeeling, cold, hard, Data from Star Trek, et cetera. I make puns on occasion, though, and I like to laugh. Being unable to identify my emotions adds to this, as well. Unless I'm happy, sad, or angry, it's very difficult for me to tell you what I'm feeling. My past significant others have had to ask me what I'm feeling because I am near unreadable, apparently.

I probably am projecting somewhat after my experience with that Feeler (INFP), but I did date another Feeler (ISFP) after that one. We were together for over a year. I'm just cautious of those who want an intimate or business relationship with me because I've been taken advantage of. I've had few intimate relationships, but the two feelers I've been with have been emotionally unstable. And that's not just my opinion; the medical establishment seemed to think so as well. I also know that not all Feelers are like that, but I still am cautious. For what happened to me, I think caution about the future with another is well founded. I don't think I could survive a repeat. I shouldn't be wary of Feelers so much as unstable people in general, but my ability to recognize social cues and people's intentions is poor at best and I have been much too trusting and naive in the past.

The spectrum of thinking and feeling is an interesting theory. One of my exes could be logical if absolutely necessary, but it wasn't something that could be held for any length of time. The other could not at all that I ever experienced. Another was an ISTJ who was very logical but also new all the ins and outs of social custom and whatnot, which was really nice because I'm not very good at it.

Even when I try to feel and express empathy, it still comes out logically. That doesn't mean I don't feel at all or I'm not capable of love, as some seem to think of aspies, which I think is degrading and demeaning. I'm perfectly capable of love and other emotions, they just don't come out in the standard format. I show love by being with someone and doing things with and for them and other things. I'm not all that good at what would be considered Hollywood-style sappy love, but I have my own particular brand of it. I think it fits me quite well, but that's my opinion.

As for your other questions, there is no emotion for me explaining this too you. It's like I'm teaching math. It is as it is and there is very little room for interpretation, or at least on my side. It is a statement of fact for me. I'm not frustrated about being wary of Feelers. I think that having a relationship with a healthy, stable Feeler would probably do me a lot of good. I'd probably really enjoy it.

Being an aspie in a world of non-aspies presents various challenges for both parties, unfortunately. Sometimes it really sucks and sometimes is heavenly.
 

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I don't think MBTI made me like people better, it helped me understand people and conflict. Whereas before we would attribute the source of the conflict to the person, the gender, or the race, now we see personality types is a large factor.
 

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I don't know if it helps me like people better per say, but I do feel it helps me understand them better and, as a result, communicate better than I otherwise would have been able to. On my own I can be pretty damn socially inept, and a weakness in understanding where other people are coming from means I tend to fail magnificently where there are emotions involved. But if I know someone's MBTI, or can at least narrow it down a bit, I can understand more about how they function vs. how I function and come up with some potential problems that may arise or issues we may have, and think of solutions or how to go about facing each one.
 

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I knew this ENFP who I thought was an ESFP at first who I found myself liking a lot more once I figured out their type. It can also do the opposite, like when I thought this ESTP was initially an ENFJ, and then I just lost interest when I discovered their real type. I don't mean to have preferences over certain types, I just naturally start to change my perception of them.

The only thing that sucks is it makes me view people so mechanically, like if I lose an INFJ friend I'll just think I can replace them with another INFJ rather than viewing them as an individual person. And I start to analyze their actions based on their functions, so much that they're not even people with souls anymore...... yeah I need to stop doing that.
 
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