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As INTJ's we know very well our limitations with emotional expression. In fact, it takes alot of introspection to even know how to understand our feelings. But one thing I haven't been able to relate to is the rumored INTJ coldness. I definitely feel as though I have the capacity for it, but I have a natural inclination to be warm.

I have a couple theories about why. I've been in a band for about 7 years now and I feel as though listening, writing, playing and performing all tap into aspects of my F that I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have had to deal with otherwise. If I'm listening to the right type of song I can feel and understand my emotions very clearly. This spills over into other aspects of my life. I mean I even won most friendly in High School before i knew of MBTI (friendly INTJ's? Who knew?)

I also have an ENFJ mother so maybe her influence showed me the ropes of politeness and popper manners. She also had me doing things like acting and performing little songs at an early age.

Have any of you other INTJ's experienced anything similar? Have any of you had what feels like good F development? Perhaps through Music or some other artform?
 

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If I'm listening to the right type of song I can feel and understand my emotions very clearly. This spills over into other aspects of my life.

I also have an ENFJ mother so maybe her influence showed me the ropes of politeness and popper manners. She also had me doing things like acting and performing little songs at an early age.
I have similar experiences in that certain music "brings F to the surface." However, I don't think music helps me develop F or emphasizes F. I've seen people cry because of the beauty of music, but that has never happened to me (not even close). My musical experience is entirely internal (big shock there), and I doubt anyone notices my F moment.

Politeness/proper manners were forcefully taught to me in childhood, and not by an F. It was very much "...here are the rules. Follow them or suffer the consequences..." kind of deal.
 

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If you drop a healthy INTJ in a room of people, you'll be surprised how charming he could be. I know I've had to step out of my element and put on an extroverted persona, and it's genuine too. We're not the socially diseased people we're stereotypically made out to be. We just need to understand why it would be logical to socialize with people. If we don't see the value in it, we won't waste our energy on it.

To you, music is your thing, so is your band and its success. To thrive in that world requires supporters, connections, and a lot of friends. It's really not that unusual for INTJs to come out and be cordial. Arnold Schwarzenegger, INTJ to the core, is probably one of the best sales people around. He married a Kennedy and got one of the more liberal states to elect him to maximum term. Even people who don't think much of Republicans love him.

As per music, it tickles all my functions. I went to highschool all the way across town as part of a regional arts program - basically had a college education in music while in highschool. My first round of college was actually derailed a bit as I was busy travelling with an orchestra and in a few jazz bands. They requested me. Anyway, to stop stroking my own ego, I agree. There are certain things that happen to me when listening to music that don't really happen with anything else... it really isn't just limited to Fi.
 

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One of my favorite things to do is to play piano in some quiet back room of a school or church. It definitely taps me into my Fi.

I'm always listening to music while interneting, which is another private activity.
 

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I have no musical ability what so ever, I do not know how to play a piece of instrument or can read music.
I can though listen to a varieties of music, so I do not have a preferred taste. It's easier, when I need to strike up a conversation that way, if I need to talk.
I do feel that music relaxes me and sometimes sets my mood when I'm not awake or thinking, which is is rare.
So in rare occasions my feeling would be used.
 

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I play and/or listen to music practically 24/7 (or at least, used to, as I’ve stopped listening to it when I sleep due to being told that’s terrible for my already insomniac tendencies), and I definitely think it helps me access my feelings and be more aware of them. I think that’s actually true for any form of art. BUT, I don’t really think it helps with more social-oriented expression (and recognition) of feeling, I think that takes a LOT of practice and conditioning. My mother has helped me a lot more than music in that arena (she’s a severely bipolar-disordered ISFP).
 

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I think this could be true. Whenever I'm over-stressed with life, I go into my room and put on music and just lay down listening to the music until I feel better. This is especially true of songs with lyrics that refer to what I'm going through. It's my way of talking about my feelings with myself without really saying anything. I just let the songs speak for me.
As darkewe said though, this is more for dealing with my own feelings. I've found that to improve understanding other people's emotions, it's best to spend a lot of time with one close friend to understand what life is like for them. Once you take the first step, the subsequent ones are so much easier.
 

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I agree with Tooboku, the "INTJs are robots" stereotype is mostly false. One of the adjectives I hear the most often when my friends describe me is "funny", I can act really E-ish when I see a reason to - and "having fun" or "flirting" are good enough reasons for me. Now when I'm bored or around a bunch of people I don't know it's another thing, but alcohol tends to solve the issue pretty effectively.

As for music developping Fi, I don't really know what to think about it. Maybe the thing that really helped you was having to deal with people when it comes to writing and performing?
I've been a music junkie since I was a child (my parents were musicians and still are music fans) and while it does evoke feelings to me sometimes, I don't feel like it helped me understand my feelings in general any better. Most of my music-induced feelings tend to be either being depressed when it's a song with really sad lyrics, or excitement when it's punk rock.

I have both sound->color and sound->sensation synesthesia so most of the times when I'm not analyzing the music in a technical way, I'm too much focused/carried away by the sensorial experience to pay attention to the possible feelings. Though lyric-less music can make me go into the same state of aweness/trance I feel when looking at art.
 

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I have both sound->color and sound->sensation synesthesia so most of the times when I'm not analyzing the music in a technical way, I'm too much focused/carried away by the sensorial experience to pay attention to the possible feelings. Though lyric-less music can make me go into the same state of aweness/trance I feel when looking at art.
I have that, too. Sorry if this seems rude, but are you an Aspie?
 

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I've never done any psychological test, but no, not as far as I know. Are you asking because you think/know synesthesia and Asperger's are related? Now I'm curious.
(And I'm off to read what wikipedia has to say about it, you just awoke the hypocondriac in me!)
It’s often listed as a symptom of autistic spectrum disorders (and wikipedia butchered the description of an aspie last time I checked, so I’d recommend going beyond there :laughing:). Of course, I’m supposing that you weren’t leaving out the detail about this synesthesia happening while you were dancing with Lucy in the sky. :wink:
 

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It’s often listed as a symptom of autistic spectrum disorders (and wikipedia butchered the description of an aspie last time I checked, so I’d recommend going beyond there :laughing:). Of course, I’m supposing that you weren’t leaving out the detail about this synesthesia happening while you were dancing with Lucy in the sky. :wink:
That last sentence reminded me that I wanted to make a joke about the "poppers manners" typo in the OP, thanks (even though it's too late and I just blew it now). I had no idea that it was considered to be a symptom regarding autism! And no indeed it's a permanent thing for me, not a drug-induced trip.
If you'd mind sending me a PM with a few links for resources more reliable than wikipedia, I'd check it tomorrow and get back to you - right now I'll stop derailing the thread and go to bed :happy:
 

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Music has too much bad under its classification to me to encompass opinions over the concept.
Specific styles have appeal in auditory sense as I enjoy the harmonious use of instruments crafted by human race to manipulate soundwaves as a sort of trophy of the craftiness of my species.

And some rare pieces actually do give me inspiration and motivation.
 

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That last sentence reminded me that I wanted to make a joke about the "poppers manners" typo in the OP, thanks (even though it's too late and I just blew it now). I had no idea that it was considered to be a symptom regarding autism! And no indeed it's a permanent thing for me, not a drug-induced trip.
If you'd mind sending me a PM with a few links for resources more reliable than wikipedia, I'd check it tomorrow and get back to you - right now I'll stop derailing the thread and go to bed :happy:
If the Wiki article has citations and links to other sources that is also a good way to check your data.
Other is Google, usually the reliable sources of information have more than one well known facility of research in association.
 

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Discussion Starter #16
If you drop a healthy INTJ in a room of people, you'll be surprised how charming he could be. I know I've had to step out of my element and put on an extroverted persona, and it's genuine too. We're not the socially diseased people we're stereotypically made out to be. We just need to understand why it would be logical to socialize with people. If we don't see the value in it, we won't waste our energy on it.

To you, music is your thing, so is your band and its success. To thrive in that world requires supporters, connections, and a lot of friends. It's really not that unusual for INTJs to come out and be cordial. Arnold Schwarzenegger, INTJ to the core, is probably one of the best sales people around. He married a Kennedy and got one of the more liberal states to elect him to maximum term. Even people who don't think much of Republicans love him.
I can relate to this a lot. I felt that I've always had a natural charm streak that I can pull out every now and then. It definitely something that I try to work on though since the music field (and the girlies) require me to be a little more social.

As far as creating music and its relation to my Fi , I find myself caring more about how the music makes me or the listen feel rather than how much sense it might make. That natural Fi introspection during musical situations also seems to carry over into other areas. Though I may not decide with Fi, I find myself paying attention to it alot more in myself and in others. And sometimes through it, I can synthesize a little Fe
 

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As INTJ's we know very well our limitations with emotional expression.
What is our limitations with emotional expression? I'd love to hear this one.

In fact, it takes alot a lot of introspection to even know how to understand our feelings.
What do you mean by this exactly?


But one thing I haven't been able to relate to is the rumored INTJ coldness.
Key word: rumored. It's a stereotype.


I definitely feel as though I have the capacity for it, but I have a natural inclination to be warm.
...and your point is? You are human, therefore you have the capacity for it, unless of course you are mentally imbalanced, etc.

I have a couple theories about why. I've been in a band for about 7 years now and I feel as though listening, writing, playing and performing all tap into aspects of my F that I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have had to deal with otherwise. If I'm listening to the right type of song I can feel and understand my emotions very clearly. This spills over into other aspects of my life.
Introverted Intuition and the Meaning of Music

Have any of you other INTJ's experienced anything similar? Have any of you had what feels like good F development? Perhaps through Music or some other artform art form?
What is "good" F development exactly?
 

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I don't believe it's helped me to develop my feelings. I do utilize certain music to set myself into a specific mood, however.
 
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