[Febriarini Roseals]

I'm wanting to share this to see if might we have something in common regarding our stability.

I would usually laugh over negativity. So I can say I'm positive all the way. When somebody tells about their problem, some suggestions come out from my head before they ask me to give. And in general, with positivity of the mind, and happiness of the heart, my fluid imagination works properly to generate ideas.
But it happened to me freaking series of problems, one came, not yet solved, another, another, and many others came, and they remained unsolved. The positive thoughts gone somewhere, my imagination produced negativeness, I became depressed, somehow irritated, withdrew myself from others, and lost my friendly side.
I became so lazy, I overslept, I gained weight, I received complains, unable to express myslf, etc.
It took a while until I was completely recovered, and uh, I can really remember how I felt like I was eaten by the worst monster ever... my devil side.
I used so many ways to kill the devil myself, once I thought it had succeeded but didn't last, until I realized, what I needed was a new, most interesting, and most leveraging thing to explore compared to the others I had had as far as I lived. And that's the turning point, to begin to live right again. Now I feel fresh always by the morning, I maintain perfect weight, I received compliments and the hugs of my friends back, being positively more active, and sure happiness.
I can see here how I find it difficult to be upset, but once I'm down, it's hard to get up again. And as I make it to shine, I could shine better than before.

What about you, people? Do you or have you ever experienced similar event?

 

[Febriarini Roseals]

Sorry if I made some mistakes on the grammar. I just realized I did :blushed:

 

[SlowPoke68]

I know what you mean. I've been through things (and am still going through things) that I think would kill someone without the coping abilities I've developed over the years. I think my sense of humor is probably the strongest weapon I have against the "devil" as you describe it. I can laugh off things that look like utter disaster to other people and do so deliberately because after all, what else are you going to do? The problem (a very real problem for me) is when I project this quality onto other people and expect them to find the funny side of unemployment, divorce, bankruptcy, dying relatives, and so on. I've gone through all these things and laughed them off, but when I suggest other people do the same it makes me look shallow at best and psychopathic at worst--and I think I'm neither.

This must be a fairly common ENTP thing.

 

[yesiknowbut]

Yup. I remember telling someone after his wife left him that there was value to be found in the situation, that even the pain had a richness to it, and it didn't go down terribly well.

I think the ENTP mind has a tendency to reframe things. "Positive reframing" is what we do with bad situations. It's interesting to see how other people deal with stuff: my ENFJ husband and son go absolutely the other way, and a small setback is like an eternal disaster and they can be really hard to console/reason with. Difference for them is that it doesn't last long.

 

[ENTPreneur]

Yes. Life has been harsh to me too. But then I compare to how things are in other parts of the world, or for other people I know of, and suddenly my problems seem small. That is a form of "reframing" I think.... I believe that our strength lies in seeing the "big picture"... But when problems amass, we can become that "Shadow type" and lose that ability.... for a while.

I am going through such a period now, and it helps just knowing this: suddenly you are able to see again... That is what makes us optimists...

But as you said, trying to make others see the situation in our "way", does not go well with the normal populace... Good intentions dont help.... We have to learn to just listen at times, and being a shoulder to cry on. I am normally action-oriented so it does feel funny..... But it is easy, and very strange that that is the need. We conjure up options and ideas to fix the situation, but they only need soemeone to hold and listen to... And sometimes we need it too... But we are hard prerssed to see the need in ourselves.

 

[YourMom]

Material possessions can be replaced. Money can be replaced/restored. Most people can be replaced (except for family). I am generally detached from the world, and I also refuse to think negatively, since thinking negatively and sorry for myself doesn't solve anything.

 

[amajakgar]

But as you said, trying to make others see the situation in our "way", does not go well with the normal populace... Good intentions dont help.... We have to learn to just listen at times, and being a shoulder to cry on. I am normally action-oriented so it does feel funny..... But it is easy, and very strange that that is the need. We conjure up options and ideas to fix the situation, but they only need soemeone to hold and listen to... And sometimes we need it too... But we are hard prerssed to see the need in ourselves.

You got that right!

Sometimes I want to tell the people around me to just "stop" crying, feeling sorry for themselves, worrying what other people think, etc. because that's what I would do in their particular situation, but I don't for fear of making people think I don't care or like SlowPoke said..."shallow."

 

[Febriarini Roseals]

Thank you for all your shares and advices, pals. I truly appreciate them all. I used to do question people's mental ability also when they complained about life, and until then I realized our capabilities are varied, and so are the level of things considered as stressors to us.

I think no matter what happens, things in life can only get better.

Thanks a lot again. roud:

 

[WildWinds]

Material possessions can be replaced. Money can be replaced/restored. Most people can be replaced (except for family). I am generally detached from the world, and I also refuse to think negatively, since thinking negatively and sorry for myself doesn't solve anything.

I maintain a similar attitude.

It seems people get very attached to things and very emotionally involved and their subjective, emotional side sometimes refuses to let rational thinking through, paralyzes it almost.

Its probably a big reason ENTP's can come across as "cold" and "insensitive" if we are using rational thinking to conquer emotional attachments that cause pain when separation occurs.

If I have a boyfriend and we break up, the emotional side is there initially just as it is for anybody else, telling me to freak out and be upset because "I can't live without him" and "I'm never going to find somebody as compatible with me as he is". But dwelling in that only causes further pain, it doesn't fix the problem. Instead, I use rational thinking that says "I can get another boyfriend" and "there are other guys that I will be compatible with". And its true.

Might seem a bit harsh saying that somebody I love/d is so replaceable. But it lets me love fully while in a relationship and not hold back, be over a long term relationship in a matter of a month, and not be bitter or distrustful when getting involved with someone new. There's absolutely no sense in dwelling on it and drawing out the pain for months, and then making MY problems and suffering somebody else's when a new guy tries to get to know me.

 

[ENTPreneur]

Might seem a bit harsh saying that somebody I love/d is so replaceable. But it lets me love fully while in a relationship and not hold back, be over a long term relationship in a matter of a month, and not be bitter or distrustful when getting involved with someone new. There's absolutely no sense in dwelling on it and drawing out the pain for months, and then making MY problems and suffering somebody else's when a new guy tries to get to know me.

To cross-thread: I envy that. I dont get interested easily, dont let in easily, and dont take rejection easily. And I am wary of inflicting pain upon others.

It seems to be very different being a female ENTP, perhaps due to gender roles.... You seem to have an easier time. If you are considered a "weirdo" and must hunt, it doesn´t help...

EDIT: I also have VERY special background history, with critical illnesses and other stuff so I have never had a carefree "college-movie adolescence". So I am probably very atypical... But the NT women I meet have their problems, but they are very ...... relaxed when it comes to jump between relationships and sex. I can not relate to that....

 

[WildWinds]

I don't get interested easy either. It takes a lot to impress me....The dude has to have a brain, not be some typical sports maniac that can recite all the football players stats. I fall for the mind first, so if the guy has nothing going for him in that department, he's just shit outta luck. And yeah, I have my share of problems as well. I just try not to let them bother me even though in the back of my mind, I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop and the permanent damage to show up.

 

[YourMom]

No "problems" do not affect my positivity. I put problems in quotations because all problem is is a negative perception of a circumstance. I just don't consider any situation negative. It's either neutral or positive. Everywhere lies an opportunity. It helps being rather detached from other peoples' emotions. In short, no matter what I always try to take the positives out of a situation and find a way around the obstacles.

 

[Febriarini Roseals]

I maintain a similar attitude.

It seems people get very attached to things and very emotionally involved and their subjective, emotional side sometimes refuses to let rational thinking through, paralyzes it almost.

Its probably a big reason ENTP's can come across as "cold" and "insensitive" if we are using rational thinking to conquer emotional attachments that cause pain when separation occurs.

If I have a boyfriend and we break up, the emotional side is there initially just as it is for anybody else, telling me to freak out and be upset because "I can't live without him" and "I'm never going to find somebody as compatible with me as he is". But dwelling in that only causes further pain, it doesn't fix the problem. Instead, I use rational thinking that says "I can get another boyfriend" and "there are other guys that I will be compatible with". And its true.

Might seem a bit harsh saying that somebody I love/d is so replaceable. But it lets me love fully while in a relationship and not hold back, be over a long term relationship in a matter of a month, and not be bitter or distrustful when getting involved with someone new. There's absolutely no sense in dwelling on it and drawing out the pain for months, and then making MY problems and suffering somebody else's when a new guy tries to get to know me.

that's true, I would always go in similar direction too

 

[Turelie]

What about you, people? Do you or have you ever experienced similar event?

Yes, many times, some lasting longer than others. Sometimes it is a major event that overshadows everything else, and then there are many small events at the same time...it becomes crushing to not be able to enact a solution to the problems or to find a logical reason for their occurance. It's like a dark cloud always hovering, but eventually it will disappear.

I know that everything I go through will help me to grow as a person, so even if it is extremely difficult, I still have optimism. I am still optimistic even when in despair.

 

[TMcGraw]

I'm wanting to share this to see if might we have something in common regarding our stability.

I would usually laugh over negativity. So I can say I'm positive all the way. When somebody tells about their problem, some suggestions come out from my head before they ask me to give. And in general, with positivity of the mind, and happiness of the heart, my fluid imagination works properly to generate ideas.
But it happened to me freaking series of problems, one came, not yet solved, another, another, and many others came, and they remained unsolved. The positive thoughts gone somewhere, my imagination produced negativeness, I became depressed, somehow irritated, withdrew myself from others, and lost my friendly side.
I became so lazy, I overslept, I gained weight, I received complains, unable to express myslf, etc.
It took a while until I was completely recovered, and uh, I can really remember how I felt like I was eaten by the worst monster ever... my devil side.
I used so many ways to kill the devil myself, once I thought it had succeeded but didn't last, until I realized, what I needed was a new, most interesting, and most leveraging thing to explore compared to the others I had had as far as I lived. And that's the turning point, to begin to live right again. Now I feel fresh always by the morning, I maintain perfect weight, I received compliments and the hugs of my friends back, being positively more active, and sure happiness.
I can see here how I find it difficult to be upset, but once I'm down, it's hard to get up again. And as I make it to shine, I could shine better than before.

What about you, people? Do you or have you ever experienced similar event?

Weird. New to this forum primarily because of this. I'm an investment real estate broker. By definition an up and down business but it appeals to me because there is always a new deal to explore and figure out. Recently four opportunities presented themselves and I missed all of them. Three were due to conditions outside of my control and one was a strategy mistake on my part. Also, three existing opportunities have gone on longer than expected and have become very difficult. All of this is to say "I'm bored" and I tend to get down when I am bored. Very similar to how you described.

Fortunately, through years of this torment, I've found this out about myself and will revert to seeking out a new idea, concept, business strategy, business opportunity to reinvigorate myself when I get down.

Best of luck

 

[Ray Mabry]

Negative situations generally throw me off for a very short period of time but then I pick myself up and move forward. Bitching and crying and moaning for days on end is only going to leave you in the same spot that your in and don't want to be in. Ultimately, unless one decides that something is so bad that they have to off themselves, then you have no choice but to work at fixing your problems as opposed to dwelling on them so why not start fixing them sooner than later? Otherwise your just wasting your time and time is a precious thing.

 

[Filigeedreamer]

Not an ENTP, but in general I am a fairly positive person. Deeply cynical and distrusting of most people, but I just accept that as a natural part of life. I also really believe that even though something is bad or not working out, people can make a difference, they can overcome terrible things.

I don't believe in wallowing in self pity or giving up. I feel I can overcome almost anything in the end, and if I really can't do anything about a problem...well, I just try to accept it. What's the point in getting upset over things I can't change?

I have had a lot of problems growing up, so I've had practice, and I am determined and imaginative. I feel I have gotten very good at dealing with things. My life is all about beating the odds, and doing what can't be done. I sort of define who I am by that.

Life kicks me, and I kick back harder. That is who I am.

But of course I have my limits, and I can get over whelmed. I start to focus on how unfair it all is, and I get depressed...sleeping in, lazy, negativity...I sort of let myself fall apart, I hit a low point and my fail safe kicks in. I get angry at myself for being weak and self pitying, and I remind myself of all the things I've already over come. I over come stuff, I fix things for myself and others. What am I if not that? Well, I guess I don’t like the answer.

Beaten up my thugs? Sad times, sob sob, up I get...and I deal with it, because that is what I do.

I wouldn't ever hold others to the same standards though. I treat myself mean and push myself hard, but I know others usually need understanding and soft encoragement.

Similar result, but a slightly different process internally.

 

[Cantarella]

Similar result, but a slightly different process internally.

The Ne makes it hard, sometimes. I feel like a lot of life has been learning to to run far, far away from people with a strong Si/Fi and a mean look in their eye. There are the odd times when I spend far too long in isolation engaged in something I can't stand but have to get done, e.g. busy work, and I can feel my "shadow type" take hold. The two things that fix this quickly are absolute private time spent on things I'm good at and enjoy doing and time spent with people with whom I share mutual fondness and respect. Gotta give a sound kick to either the Ne or the Ti+Fe to make my soul stop crying.

Interestingly, my INFJ friend's "let's get happy" activities of choice are things that trigger her Ni+Fe, such as fantasy-based online role-playing and watching "happy" TV/films. ;p I don't need the boost for Ni, but this totally does it for me:

 

[Febriarini Roseals]

Negative situations generally throw me off for a very short period of time but then I pick myself up and move forward. Bitching and crying and moaning for days on end is only going to leave you in the same spot that your in and don't want to be in. Ultimately, unless one decides that something is so bad that they have to off themselves, then you have no choice but to work at fixing your problems as opposed to dwelling on them so why not start fixing them sooner than later? Otherwise your just wasting your time and time is a precious thing.

We'll never know when major problem keeps followed by other minor ones, and like Pika said, inability to make solutions or finding logical reasons of their occurrence. ENTP's would usually getting extremely bored, like TMcGraw said, followed by being down, sometimes even worse impacts to our attitude, like what ever happened to me, I drew myself from others, I became petulant, the words came out from my mouth were sharper and hurt others even deeper, and even though I still believed, I still kept the grasp of hope and optimism, it was still hard however, seeing at the super large dark clouds everywhere, felt like there's no way out.

And agree with Pika again, things can only get better, after all the bright world can be seen again after the end of the deeply dark tunnel. As I succeed going through it, the outcome was unbelievably amazing.

 

[Filigeedreamer]

Interestingly, my INFJ friend's "let's get happy" activities of choice are things that trigger her Ni+Fe, such as fantasy-based online role-playing and watching "happy" TV/films. ;p I don't need the boost for Ni, but this totally does it for me

Puppy!

Oh-my-gosh-that's-so-cute-and-funny-look-at-it's-ear-twitch!

*uhem*

I mean, yes...one must do things to bring themselves out of dark moods and relieve stress when possible. Puppy...

For me that tends to be reading. I can just lose myself that way, and forget everything. When I emerge I feel refreshed, and ready to take the world on again.

But there are times when things get so stressful or hard that isn't enough, and I just need to let everything out until my inner drill sergeant takes over.

Writing can help too. I tend to put my emotions into journals, as then once I am done I can close the book and move on. However I hate re-reading them, I have habit of putting insults to myself in the margins later, to make me feel less whinny.