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Discussion Starter #1
So i met this ENFP girl online (in a game), and as INFP (me),it's a bit common to have feelings easily online..anyway at first i had nothing towards her other than she's really funny , outgoing so was fun to play with ..but when she started like a bit flirting or something and showed some signs like ,i made some exceptions talking to you,i started to have feelings , , especially she kinda initiate the conversation most the times ..we kinda were talking late till its time to sleep ,she started to tell me about some problems..,anyway some issues happened to me and told her im gonna take a break ..and maybe i'll delete everyone i knew from this game (inc her) , anyway i came back one month later , she texted that she missed me and told me i'm the best she ever met ( but meant in the game or online) , and asked if im gonna leave again ...any way few days later ,bigger issues happened and couldn't stand anylonger and as infp i wanted to push away every recent friendship (till now i dunno why :/ ) , so i sent these looong messages to her saying goodbye this time im gonna delete everyone and stuff and talked alittle about issues and how im not gonna put my own shits on your head ..then she replied told me its okay then she started to talk more about her problems as if she wanted to tell me all people have problems ..anyway she told me do whatever you want ...few days later i felt a bit good so i initiated the conversation asking her how is she doing and stuff ..and got surprised when we actually now are talking ..and she still talk about her personal stuff and ask me for help .she sometimes ask for help them stay quit and didnt complete the chat ..so now what should i do ,should i leave ? I know i was terrible , but i want to know how she could still be talking with me after all the shits i put on her mind ?!..but still now don't know she wants me as a good friend or what ..and actually we're not in the same religion..so kinda trying to remove all the romantic stuff ...please guys help me ??!
 

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I think you’re going to just have to say to her “Hey I like talking to you. I don’t want to give you up.” That’s romantic enough.
So ENFPs and INfPs, we understand each other‘a emotions. To open up about shits isn’t going to kill the relationship... but cutting her off might ruin the relationship, right? But I think she’s maybe worth hanging on to?
Just go with it. Keep talking to her. Whenyou can’t stand not telling her howyou feel anymore start slipping into conversation how you feel about her. You know “if you were here I’d hug you.” That kind of stuff. She probably does like you. If you’re spending time together then she likes you. She would go be with someone else if she liked someone else. Just keep talking, it will all work out, I would think. There is never going to be an INFP /ENFP relationship that any of us regret. Ever that I know of... we learn and grow from each other and we always usually have sweet memories of each other.

Oh yeah..I forgot to say, I’m married to an INFP.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
I think you’re going to just have to say to her “Hey I like talking to you. I don’t want to give you up.” That’s romantic enough.
So ENFPs and INfPs, we understand each other‘a emotions. To open up about shits isn’t going to kill the relationship... but cutting her off might ruin the relationship, right? But I think she’s maybe worth hanging on to?
Just go with it. Keep talking to her. Whenyou can’t stand not telling her howyou feel anymore start slipping into conversation how you feel about her. You know “if you were here I’d hug you.” That kind of stuff. She probably does like you. If you’re spending time together then she likes you. She would go be with someone else if she liked someone else. Just keep talking, it will all work out, I would think. There is never going to be an INFP /ENFP relationship that any of us regret. Ever that I know of... we learn and grow from each other and we always usually have sweet memories of each other.

Oh yeah..I forgot to say, I’m married to an INFP.
Many thanks for the advice , but my i have to fight my feelings cause we both are arabians with different religions , it's not allowed :/ ..anyway she told me these days she's having rough times ..but she says nothing when i ask her what's wrong ..another thing , i really want to explain every for her ..but im waiting till she's not down anymore ..still now she initiate the conversation ..but sometimes ,may reply after 1 day ..and i don't know what to do ..does this bother her cause i don't text first much ..or she's just not in the mood to talk to me ..
Thanks , and wish you all the happiness with your partner 😄
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Many thanks for the advice , but my i have to fight my feelings cause we both are arabians with different religions , it's not allowed :/ ..anyway she told me these days she's having rough times ..but she says nothing when i ask her what's wrong ..another thing , i really want to explain every for her ..but im waiting till she's not down anymore ..still now she initiate the conversation ..but sometimes ,may reply after 1 day ..and i don't know what to do ..does this bother her cause i don't text first much ..or she's just not in the mood to talk to me ..
Thanks , and wish you all the happiness with your partner 😄
I want to tell her about the shits i mentioned before ...but i get signs she doesn't wanna talk about , and when i got her to talk to me again , was only because i asked her how she is ..some regular questions i mean ..im trully confused 😐
 

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Just say it “I like you. I have feelings for you. And you KNOW we can’t.” And she will say “I KNOW.... but it was good to hear you’re feeling the same.” And it will make it worse or it will make it better. But then probably so that neither one of you get in trouble with your families and who knows if her family could kill her or what... I know sometimes that’s the case. So then you have to tell her “I’m going to give you up and cut this relationship to keep you safe. Know that I love you and want you to always take care of yourself. I will pray for you and for me”. And you’re done. Because she isn’t safe and neither are you. Sorry I didn’t understand before.

anyway doesn’t this sound right?
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Just say it “I like you. I have feelings for you. And you KNOw we can’t.” And she will say “I KNOW.... but it was good to hear you’re feeling the same.” And it will make it worse or it will make it better. But then Probably so that neither one of you get in trouble with your families and who knows if her family could kill her or what... I know sometimes that’s the case. So then you have to tell her “I’m going to give you up and cut this relationship to keep you safe. Know that I love you and want you to always take care of yourself. I will pray for you and for me”. And you’re done. Because she isn’t safe and neither are you. Sorry I didn’t understand before.

anyway doesn’t this sound right?
Yeah that's what i should do , but a bit coward to do it ..i mean i had feelings yeah , and now just tryin to slow it down ...but i'm afraid she hadn't also these feelings as well ..dunno exactly ..was i really good friend or what ?
 

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Yeah that's what i should do , but a bit coward to do it ..i mean i had feelings yeah , and now just tryin to slow it down ...but i'm afraid she hadn't also these feelings as well ..dunno exactly ..was i really good friend or what ?
Just assume she likes you, but you don’t even need to hear it or know. The same actions will be taken. So you say “I don’t know how you feel, but I have feelings for you and I know we can’t get involved and it isn’t safe and I want you to always take care you yourself. I will pray for you and me and you won’t hear from me again.”
And then you have to delete. You might not ever know if she loved you too or she might tell you then, but that’s what you’ve got to do to protect her and you.
Good luck and I’m so sorry!
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Just assume she likes you, but you don’t even need to hear it or know. The same actions will be taken. So you say “I don’t know how you feel, but I have feelings for you and I know we can’t get involved and it isn’t safe and I want you to always take care you yourself. I will pray for you and me and you won’t hear from me again.”
And then you have to delete. You might not ever know if she loved you too or she might tell you then, but that’s what you’ve got to do to protect her and you.
Good luck and I’m so sorry!
Well actually really thanks , that helped alot ♥
 

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You’re welcome and I sympathize!
I'm sorry to open up again ..but it's just abit hard for me ..and i hope that till later we stay good friends ..is there any possibility that my feelings can go away ?...its just i'm 22 and never been in a situation like this ..so it's like part of me will gone if it's over forever .. actually ..im sorry im acting like a kid ..but i don't know what exactly i want i'm really confused ...i will be really relieved later if it's over ..but i will never forget or pass it easily ..as it's my first experience ...and i'm afraid it would be only me who had feelings i'd be sooo dumb infront of my dignity (as INFP) ..I'm really confused !! It's really hard times for me ...even in Real life i already have my own shits with suicidal thoughts ...any advice would be great !!!
 

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I'm sorry to open up again ..but it's just abit hard for me ..and i hope that till later we stay good friends ..is there any possibility that my feelings can go away ?...its just i'm 22 and never been in a situation like this ..so it's like part of me will gone if it's over forever .. actually ..im sorry im acting like a kid ..but i don't know what exactly i want i'm really confused ...i will be really relieved later if it's over ..but i will never forget or pass it easily ..as it's my first experience ...and i'm afraid it would be only me who had feelings i'd be sooo dumb infront of my dignity (as INFP) ..I'm really confused !! It's really hard times for me ...even in Real life i already have my own shits with suicidal thoughts ...any advice would be great !!!
Yes, the feelings are very difficult at first. I have felt before like half of me was cut off or like I lost my family. Just horrible. It’s horrible breaking up with someone you love. It’s horrible not to see them or not know how they are and not know how they feel about you is awful too. Especially when everything is going well then sometimes the relationship can almost becomes like a perfect Relationship in your mind. It can almost feel like there is this person out there who loved me who will always love me. That’s actually hard when you move forward to other relationships where more reality means that there are things you are not good at and things she is not good at and problems that you would have never had with the “perfect” relationship that you had to give up.
So it is hard. It’s sad!

This relationship is like a baby being killed before it has learned to walk. Its hard to experience a pre-mature death of a relationship like that. (I hope you know I’m talking in metaphors).

Anyway, you have to do this for her safety. What would happen if her family found out about you? What if you two were in love? It’s actually better to kill the relationship now in the beginning than later. If the feelings grow stronger it gets even harder.

I am curious... what would her family likely do to her if they knew about you?

The most important thing is her safety.

Do the feelings go away? They actually do. Time fixes it. You move on. You don’t forget that person or the joy that they brought you but you learn to enjoy who is with you. Yes, the hurt goes away. You don’t feel like your arm is cut off or like you’re lost your family for very long. It is intense at first.

Her safety. That’s what you’re figuring out here. If you felt like your families would accept you both then I’d be talking to you in a different way.
 

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Yes, the feelings are very difficult at first. I have felt before like half of me was cut off or like I lost my family. Just horrible. It’s horrible breaking up with someone you love. It’s horrible not to see them or not know how they are and not know how they feel about you is awful too. Especially when everything is going well then sometimes the relationship can almost becomes like a perfect Relationship in your mind. It can almost feel like there is this person out there who loved me who will always love me. That’s actually hard when you move forward to other relationships where more reality means that there are things you are not good at and things she is not good at and problems that you would have never had with the “perfect” relationship that you had to give up.
So it is hard. It’s sad!

This relationship is like a baby being killed before it has learned to walk. Its hard to experience a pre-mature death of a relationship like that. (I hope you know I’m talking in metaphors).

Anyway, you have to do this for her safety. What would happen if her family found out about you? What if you two were in love? It’s actually better to kill the relationship now in the beginning than later. If the feelings grow stronger it gets even harder.

I am curious... what would her family likely do to her if they knew about you?

The most important thing is her safety.

Do the feelings go away? They actually do. Time fixes it. You move on. You don’t forget that person or the joy that they brought you but you learn to enjoy who is with you. Yes, the hurt goes away. You don’t feel like your arm is cut off or like you’re lost your family for very long. It is intense at first.

Her safety. That’s what you’re figuring out here. If you felt like your families would accept you both then I’d be talking to you in a different way.
Well i'm christian and she's muslim..but i don't think it will get into death..her family is a bit open minded ..and as i said i'm not so sure .if it was a real close friendship or she wanted something more ...also she talked about she pushed away some of close friends ..she probably had a toxic relationship before ..and i was like a back-up .., but we INFP don't get wrong signals easily ..it was mixed signals ..you as enfp how would react to someone told you twice about cutting off ?..first time it was a probability and second time it was like a final long message ..but one thing led to another and we kinda talk again ..again as i told before when i got her to talk again she acted like nothing happened ..when i talked about normal stuff ...and why she kept talking about her own stuff ( like her period , family issues , mental thoughts) ..but she never said details ..just initiated that she had problems ....im so sorrryyyy im bothering you with this ..
 

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Well i'm christian and she's muslim..but i don't think it will get into death..her family is a bit open minded ..and as i said i'm not so sure .if it was a real close friendship or she wanted something more ...also she talked about she pushed away some of close friends ..she probably had a toxic relationship before ..and i was like a back-up .., but we INFP don't get wrong signals easily ..it was mixed signals ..you as enfp how would react to someone told you twice about cutting off ?..first time it was a probability and second time it was like a final long message ..but one thing led to another and we kinda talk again ..again as i told before when i got her to talk again she acted like nothing happened ..when i talked about normal stuff ...and why she kept talking about her own stuff ( like her period , family issues , mental thoughts) ..but she never said details ..just initiated that she had problems ....im so sorrryyyy im bothering you with this ..
I really know and respect that whether she had same feeling as me or not , i have to end it! , but im being actually a kid thinking i can figure it out or at least to stay her good friend ...i know its too lame for my dignity ..but oh god im so confused :/ and i really like REALLY want how is she thinking about me. Was she just playful with me? ..cause if so would hurt me alot.as you see all these questions are killing me literally ,couldn't eat for a week only few stuff to survive hehe, . And frankly now she's having some big issues in her life ..so till now i don't think it's a good time to talk like real honest with each other ...im sorry im soo talkactive ! But as infp i don't talk to anybody about my issues , once i opened up , i just can't stop :/
 

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I really know and respect that whether she had same feeling as me or not , i have to end it! , but im being actually a kid thinking i can figure it out or at least to stay her good friend ...i know its too lame for my dignity ..but oh god im so confused :/ and i really like REALLY want how is she thinking about me. Was she just playful with me? ..cause if so would hurt me alot.as you see all these questions are killing me literally ,couldn't eat for a week only few stuff to survive hehe, . And frankly now she's having some big issues in her life ..so till now i don't think it's a good time to talk like real honest with each other ...im sorry im soo talkactive ! But as infp i don't talk to anybody about my issues , once i opened up , i just can't stop :/
Well... to tell you the truth there’s only a little bit of difference with how ENFPs and INFPs deal with things in my opinion. Mostly the emotions and the insights are the same. She’s not going to be toykng with you. Opening up means you care about that person a lot. She opens up to you, you open up to her. There is not much that is misunderstood. Both want more time with each other. As I say, as an ENFP if she didn’t like you she would not be spending time with you.
Just expect that you are on the same page. It really can’t be too different. She will feel like she understands you too. We do the same types of things so the signals really can’t be mistaken too much. I think it’s a fine time to talk about all of it. Except that I now get the idea that you two are already very close.

I truly sympathize with you. I think this will just get harder. There’s no way her family would let you two be together? Or you think there is a chance? I dont know the exact culture you two are in.

I think if you two both tell your feelings and then try to be friends... I don’t think you can do it... maybe YOU and HER can. I mean... I don’t think my husband and I could have. We became way too close and wanted to be with each other way too much. But we also were in-person instead of through a game. We knew our physical attraction was also strong. Maybe you can just be friends? She tells you a lot of stuff And you two are obviously close.
I think you’ve got to be careful. if You two are in love, can you make it work out? If not then This is going to just be horrible for you both. The ties between you get stronger I would think, not less with time.

I see that you two are very close. I know I wouldn’t be able to give the relationship up either. I just couldn’t. I think I could only give the relationship up if they were in danger. Maybe if they were so depressed that the relationship wasn’t functioning. At that point you could slip away if you had never talked about your romantic feelings.

I mean are you going to be okay with an emotional affair your whole life? Can you guys figure out a way to be together? Ask her what would happen if a Christian (or some other religion) proposed to her family? What do you think? I think this is all so dangerous. But I know how strong my relationship is with my husband. We have been through a LOt including family disapproval and financial problems and it is still worth it. Every day I come home and get excited to see my husband and to spend time with him.
 
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Well... to tell you the truth there’s only a little bit of difference with how ENFPs and INFPs deal with things in my opinion. Mostly the emotions and the insights are the same. She’s not going to be toykng with you. Opening up means you care about that person a lot. She opens up to you, you open up to her. There is not much that is misunderstood. Both want more time with each other. As I say, as an ENFP if she didn’t like you she would not be spending time with you.
Just expect that you are on the same page. It really can’t be too different. She will feel like she understands you too. We do the same types of things so the signals really can’t be mistaken too much. I think it’s a fine time to talk about all of it. Except that I now get the idea that you two are already very close.

I truly sympathize with you. I think this will just get harder. There’s no way her family would let you two be together? Or you think there is a chance? I dont know the exact culture you two are in.

I think if you two both tell your feelings and then try to be friends... I don’t think you can do it... maybe YOU and HER can. I mean... I don’t think my husband and I could have. We became way too close and wanted to be with each other way too much. But we also were in-person instead of through a game. We knew our physical attraction was also strong. Maybe you can just be friends? She tells you a lot of stuff And you two are obviously close.
I think you’ve got to be careful. if You two are in love, can you make it work out? If not then This is going to just be horrible for you both. The ties between you get stronger I would think, not less with time.

I see that you two are very close. I know I wouldn’t be able to give the relationship up either. I just couldn’t. I think I could only give the relationship up if they were in danger. Maybe if they were so depressed that the relationship wasn’t functioning. At that point you could slip away if you had never talked about your romantic feelings.

I mean are you going to be okay with an emotional affair your whole life? Can you guys figure out a way to be together? Ask her what would happen if a Christian (or some other religion) proposed to her family? What do you think? I think this is all so dangerous. But I know how strong my relationship is with my husband. We have been through a LOt including family disapproval and financial problems and it is still worth it. Every day I come home and get excited to see my husband and to spend time with him.
No, to be honest there's no way we can get closer ..or be in a relationship ..what made me so depressed that i thought i maybe misunderstood her ..i mean why she didn't blame me for the dramatic shitty messages i said in the past ..why i'm the only one who's really hurt ..her problems now she told me are like personal other stuff she only said , im okay with whatever you decide and repsect your choice and don't wanna bother you ,and give you some time..((that's when i asked her why she didn't seem to care about this)) .......
.and i have to end it i know ..but how ..i mean ..do i have to have to leave without saying anything ...or I have to tell her even a little of what's going on .. whenever i try to clear things up in the long messages of cutting her off in the past ..she just seems not to be interested or i don't if she's not in the mood ...but what i know if i really meant something to her she's be open no matter what she's going through ..so now..really what should i do..leaving without saying anything ? Cause now i think she wouldn't ever care about me :(
 

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No, to be honest there's no way we can get closer ..or be in a relationship ..what made me so depressed that i thought i maybe misunderstood her ..i mean why she didn't blame me for the dramatic shitty messages i said in the past ..why i'm the only one who's really hurt ..her problems now she told me are like personal other stuff she only said , im okay with whatever you decide and repsect your choice and don't wanna bother you ,and give you some time..((that's when i asked her why she didn't seem to care about this)) .......
.and i have to end it i know ..but how ..i mean ..do i have to have to leave without saying anything ...or I have to tell her even a little of what's going on .. whenever i try to clear things up in the long messages of cutting her off in the past ..she just seems not to be interested or i don't if she's not in the mood ...but what i know if i really meant something to her she's be open no matter what she's going through ..so now..really what should i do..leaving without saying anything ? Cause now i think she wouldn't ever care about me :(
I wanted at first to tell her at least some feelings and emotions, but suddenly these last two or 3 days , she just text 1 text for the day, so i thought it would be better if i leave without saying anything , don't wanna force her to be interested and hear me up ..so what do you think?
 

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I wanted at first to tell her at least some feelings and emotions, but suddenly these last two or 3 days , she just text 1 text for the day, so i thought it would be better if i leave without saying anything , don't wanna force her to be interested and hear me up ..so what do you think?
It’s up to you. What Id imagine is 10 years from now will you wish you had at least told her and heard what she felt from her? Or in 10 years you will wish you hadn’t said anything. This is a trick to help you put things into perspective that is sometimes helpful to me, except that sometimes the feelings are so strong that it’s hard to know.

I personally like the advice I gave before. Bravely tell her you have feelings for her. You can also ask what she has felt. Then tell her you know it won’t work because of religious/cultural circumstances and that you know it will be easier for you (and who knows what she has been feeling?) to end the friendship now more than later which might hurt you both more. Say goodbye and delete.

But that’s just what I think. I think it would be more important to let someone know how important they are rather than for them to think that they don’t matter to you.... but that is my preference and it has some consequences to it that I told you before. I really wonder what other people would prefer because it might be easier for them to not believe they ever mattered. For me though I think even unvoiced most INFPs and ENFPs are going to know about the closeness and feelings on a subconscious level and it’s better to have them declare themselves outright. That’s just my preference, though. Maybe I haven’t been wise in matters like this myself. I don’t know!

stay in this friendship, though, and it will get more confusing and intense, but it’s also hard not to want that. Very hard.

Whatever you end up doing, I support you and I’m sure it makes sense. Let me know what you do.
 
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I wanted at first to tell her at least some feelings and emotions, but suddenly these last two or 3 days , she just text 1 text for the day, so i thought it would be better if i leave without saying anything , i don't wanna force her to be interested and hear me up, ..so what do you think?
It’s up to you. What Id imagine is 10 years from now will you wish you had at least told her and heard what she felt from her? Or in 10 years you will wish you hadn’t said anything. This is a trick to help you put things into perspective that is sometimes helpful to me, except that sometimes the feelings are so strong that it’s hard to know.

I personally like the advice I gave before. Bravely tell her you have feelings for her. You can also ask what she has felt. Then tell her you know it won’t work because of religious/cultural circumstances and that you know it will be easier for you (and who knows what she has been feeling?) to end the friendship now more than later which might hurt you both more. Say goodbye and delete.

But that’s just what I think. I think it would be more important to let someone know how important they are rather than for them to think that they don’t matter to you.... but that is my preference and it has some consequences to it that I told you before. I really wonder what other people would prefer because it might be easier for them to not believe they ever mattered. For me though I think even unvoiced most INFPs and ENFPs are going to know about the closeness and feelings on a subconscious level and it’s better to have them declare themselves outright. That’s just my preference, though. Maybe I haven’t been wise in matters like this myself. I don’t know!

stay in this friendship, though, and it will get more confusing and intense, but it’s also hard not to want that. Very hard.

Whatever you end up doing, I support you and I’m sure it makes sense. Let me know what you do.
Im so confused what to do , it's just i never thought i'd like someone that much ..
i mean,.. in real life ,im not into these stuff (having gf),because ..i thought when the right time comes i'll release my emotional energy, and here i am acting like a kid , for my first time i felt something had to be with someone online! , never thought that , Ever !! , But how im gonna deal with someone i knew 1 year ago , and i may misunderstood her , and it turned out it was only me who had feeling ..its gonna be soooo hard ! , Will hurt my dignity as i told you soooo much ..anyway now i decided to delete every social app we can contact in , (but i haven't delete her yet ), because i don't wanna interrupt my life waiting for her interest back ..i want to know is it my ego who really want to know her feelings towards me :/
 

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Im so confused what to do , it's just i never thought i'd like someone that much ..
i mean,.. in real life ,im not into these stuff (having gf),because ..i thought when the right time comes i'll release my emotional energy, and here i am acting like a kid , for my first time i felt something had to be with someone online! , never thought that , Ever !! , But how im gonna deal with someone i knew 1 year ago , and i may misunderstood her , and it turned out it was only me who had feeling ..its gonna be soooo hard ! , Will hurt my dignity as i told you soooo much ..anyway now i decided to delete every social app we can contact in , (but i haven't delete her yet ), because i don't wanna interrupt my life waiting for her interest back ..i want to know is it my ego who really want to know her feelings towards me :/
I don’t know if it’s ego. I think it’s natural to want to know, but what you do with the information could involve ego, pride dignity. Basically just because you have feelings doesn’t obligate her to have feelings and you should battle with this inside yourself before you even talk to her If you do talk to her. If she does not have feelings it does not mean anything wrong happened and there should be no anger from you towards her. She has no obligation. No one is obligated to feel any certain way.

The important thing is to be kind to both her and you. You never knew you would develop feelings. Maybe she is dealing with the same feelings, maybe not but you two are friends and friends deserve to know that they matter and that you care about them even if you have to part ways.
 
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I don’t know if it’s ego. I think it’s natural to want to know, but what you do with the information could involve ego, pride dignity. Basically just because you have feelings doesn’t obligate her to have feelings and you should battle with this inside yourself before you even talk to her If you do talk to her. If she does not have feelings it does not mean anything wrong happened and there should be no anger from you towards her. She has no obligation. No one is obligated to feel any certain way.

The important thing is to be kind to both her and you. You never knew you would develop feelings. Maybe she is dealing with the same feelings, maybe not but you two are friends and friends deserve to know that they matter and that you care about them even if you have to part ways.
Yeah i understand , but i really just want to figure something out to stay just friends .. without being hard for me or her ..i mean i repsect her feelings alot actually no matter what ..i never gone mad when i thought it could be only me ..yesterday she said "i miss you for some reason euh" then i asked her what's wrong , and as usual she haven't replied yet (respect her privacy alot though) ..what i want to say we both have our own problems, but me i have this one besides my Real life ones ..,i don't have now feelings as i used to , but is there any possibility we could stay good friends ? (Without being so honest about what i felt) I mean she's so special to me ..im acting like a kid , right? 😅

Im sorry won't bother you again ..and really thanks for your time , appreciate that alot !
 
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