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Here's the thing. I've had this happen before and I know that if someone really likes you there will be more confirmation in terms of talking frequently about each other's interests. We do that in some ways actually... from previous experience, it will turn into dating whether you asked her out or not.

We live closeby and she visits all the time, and works for a relative, and I have a connection with that relative and that relative hates when people date their co-workers.

I havent asked her because I don't want it to put me in a bad situation with that coworker because he's like a co-supervisor.

So over time I've noticed and liked her back because of the chemistry, but initially there was a distance and no view or attitude toward liking her on that level
Seems like you have a few options:

Ignore her attentions because you cherish the relationship with your relative/co-supervisor more // the power dynamic is a bit complex.
Entertain her attentions and date her even though your co-supervisor might not like it.
One of you quits, and you date.

Only you would be able to know if you're ready for the consequences of these decisions (good and bad)!
 

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She likes you. Also- look at you, 6 months ago you were struggling with all this stuff and now you have a neighbor who's into you and a supervisor job- go you. :D
 

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She definitely likes you as a crush but there's no info whether she likes you as a romantic life partner or anything is what I see in my perspective and as for her she's waiting and maybe dreaming for you to ask her out by giving hints like many other said but since this is a workplace and you haven't figured yourself for a sure future with her or a way to work it out with the relative so maybe focus on that first to see yourself in a safe position before asking her out on a date
 

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So she is 22 and I’m 26,
This is not a school setting.
Here are some things she's been showing me :
  • She looks at me and looks away and smiles at the ceiling and she has done this more than once
  • She's comfortable sitting right in front of me, just three feet away and never adjusts away. Like in my personal square.
  • I remember when someone I knew talked about whether i had a girlfriend or not, she looked at me and flashed her eyes and started talking about how I will find a girl someday
  • She stared at me this and looked with squinting eyes quickly shifting her head from left to right with a smirk , and she did this on three different occasions, and someone caught her doing it and said you’re gonna drive him crazy if you keep looking at him like that”
  • She watches movies with me excitedly, but then again she lives next door and visits a lot
  • She talks with me a lot , even though we see each other every day ,she doesn’t seem to get bored with me. She laughs at my every joke, even when others around don't laugh.

  • She tells me that some other guy told her she liked me (okay this is not a sign but what does this mean? Is she trying to make me jealous?)
  • She tells me her friends want to see her and I walk downstairs and her friends are super silent just smiling weirdly at me and then slowly initiate conversation.
  • We went somewhere far away and she pat my stomach and it was weird lol
  • She tried to set me up with a girl, and showed me her picture but then she said that girl already had a boyfriend. Why tell me in the first place?
  • Her voice becomes more high pitched when she talks to me, compared to others
  • She has asked me whether I find this girl or that girl attractive
  • She referenced some word I said in a caption on an instagram post, the day after she heard me make a point of it
  • She told me that I have a very beautiful smile and she was amazed by it and says that I am much more attractive than some other guy other people were comparing me to
  • whenever we're out somewhere she has no problem sitting next to me but then she had great difficulty sitting next to my dad in the passenger seat because it makes her look like my dad's girlfriend lol
  • people keep asking and confusing her for my girlfriend or wife when we go out somewhere lmao wtf, then again that also happens with my sister lmao wth
Yeah, bro. She's into you. Do something about it. Ask her out.
 

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The signs are there. Maybe she likes you. Maybe she finds you attractive and would like to give liking you a shot. Maybe she's just really comfortable around you and nothing more. At the end of the day, if you wanna get to know her like that, you just gotta be direct and go from there. Many women will never make the first move no matter how interested they are in a guy.
 

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Discussion Starter #26
She likes you. Also- look at you, 6 months ago you were struggling with all this stuff and now you have a neighbor who's into you and a supervisor job- go you. :D
Thing is, I am still struggling with the same issues I just have a different view of it which is better than before, like being a "work in progress" , rather than isolated or alone.
 

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Discussion Starter #27
She definitely likes you as a crush but there's no info whether she likes you as a romantic life partner or anything is what I see in my perspective and as for her she's waiting and maybe dreaming for you to ask her out by giving hints like many other said but since this is a workplace and you haven't figured yourself for a sure future with her or a way to work it out with the relative so maybe focus on that first to see yourself in a safe position before asking her out on a date
This is a good point , and something I wanted to talk about, because most of the points I've seen are theoretical and make sense, and I agree with them. Though there is a realistic implication of all the decisions I could make where a number of things could go wrong..
We live in a remote area, and live closeby and other people would slowly find out we're leaving together and something is up, people who dont want us to be a couple at all and that might create family and thence, work conflicts.
Since it's a remote place, we dont have many places to go together anyway, its pretty limited.
We move to another part of the country that is more metropolitan, I find another job there and we're stuck with each other's company but no family or work drama that kept us tightly together.
My mum has a love and hate relationship with her, because she has been the centre of family drama before .
If I do ask her myself or a friend to ask her is she likes me, she might just lie, or deny it, creating serious embarrassment for me. Then again maybe I need to do that through another person, at least, to see if it's worth pursuing but then realistically that person may say that I told him to say it to her and make matters worse.
 

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Discussion Starter #28
Seems like you have a few options:

Ignore her attentions because you cherish the relationship with your relative/co-supervisor more // the power dynamic is a bit complex.
Entertain her attentions and date her even though your co-supervisor might not like it.
One of you quits, and you date.

Only you would be able to know if you're ready for the consequences of these decisions (good and bad)!
There is also the view, that I don't care what my co-supervisor thinks, because he gets into arguments and disputes with everyone else he's worked with anyway. His anger for anything is expected.
 

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This is a good point , and something I wanted to talk about, because most of the points I've seen are theoretical and make sense, and I agree with them. Though there is a realistic implication of all the decisions I could make where a number of things could go wrong..
We live in a remote area, and live closeby and other people would slowly find out we're leaving together and something is up, people who dont want us to be a couple at all and that might create family and thence, work conflicts.
Since it's a remote place, we dont have many places to go together anyway, its pretty limited.
We move to another part of the country that is more metropolitan, I find another job there and we're stuck with each other's company but no family or work drama that kept us tightly together.
My mum has a love and hate relationship with her, because she has been the centre of family drama before .
If I do ask her myself or a friend to ask her is she likes me, she might just lie, or deny it, creating serious embarrassment for me. Then again maybe I need to do that through another person, at least, to see if it's worth pursuing but then realistically that person may say that I told him to say it to her and make matters worse.
How about you wait a little more , feel there's a rush ? and tell your mother about this issue and clear this love-hate relationship and any misunderstandings that may have been made ,everything happens for a reason after all every mother just wants the best for their sons so make them understand your feelings that is if you plan a future with her
 

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Discussion Starter #30
Okay guys, so I took an alternative path close to what @Vexus said and told her in a general way the question of whether she liked me or not.

My friend asked her as he advised me that telling her upfront would be a massive problem because it creates drama, he asked her and the conversation went something like this (this is a friend who has met her twice and messaged her once before, he already has a girlfriend):

Him: do you like my friend?
Her: hehe why?
Him: you two have chemistry from when we met
Her: we are friends
Him: you're fat
Her: you're short

Basically she didn't really deny or say no but deflected and we both knew if she liked me, she would deflect to him because her opinion of him is quite low as you can see

Anyway, any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated because now I'm confused as to what to do again
 

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"Are you romantically interested in a supervisor, which could be a problem and have a direct impact on your remote job that must be important to you?"
"We are friends."

I don't think that got you much information.

At this point, being direct is a reasonable option, but, it has to be you. Not someone else. There's already drama surrounding the situation, so getting a direct answer through that method, not possible. Not to mention, she might not want to show unavailability to any of the few men in your remote situation, just in case, regardless of how her opinion of someone is.

When hanging out next, I think you need to bring it up directly. "Hey, the other day when <friend> asked you if you liked me... do you think we are friends?" (of course/yes will be the answer)

Go from there. Rely on the fact that for millions of years, all your ancestors have been successful in attracting a partner ;) You have a lineage of success here if you grasp it. It's built into you, just stop holding it back. You don't need to say a line or specifically those words. You'll naturally do the right thing.

If she does say "just friends" though, you'll have to do the difficult task of returning to normal and trying to get it out of your head. So prepare yourself for that.

Waiting is also a good option. If you're not seriously drawn in so far, there's no harm in continuing to enjoy her company, and you can slowly show interest over time.
 

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Discussion Starter #32
"Are you romantically interested in a supervisor, which could be a problem and have a direct impact on your remote job that must be important to you?"
"We are friends."

I don't think that got you much information.

At this point, being direct is a reasonable option, but, it has to be you. Not someone else. There's already drama surrounding the situation, so getting a direct answer through that method, not possible. Not to mention, she might not want to show unavailability to any of the few men in your remote situation, just in case, regardless of how her opinion of someone is.

When hanging out next, I think you need to bring it up directly. "Hey, the other day when <friend> asked you if you liked me... do you think we are friends?" (of course/yes will be the answer)

Go from there. Rely on the fact that for millions of years, all your ancestors have been successful in attracting a partner ;) You have a lineage of success here if you grasp it. It's built into you, just stop holding it back. You don't need to say a line or specifically those words. You'll naturally do the right thing.

If she does say "just friends" though, you'll have to do the difficult task of returning to normal and trying to get it out of your head. So prepare yourself for that.

Waiting is also a good option. If you're not seriously drawn in so far, there's no harm in continuing to enjoy her company, and you can slowly show interest over time.
I like the way you think and actually judging from all the people I’ve contacted, you were the most helpful even like people IRL or over the phone .

I ended up telling that friend and he ended up using some alpha strategies on her and started disrespecting her almost like he was flirting with her in a passive way, by playfully teasing her calling her fat, like dude keep it in your pants you have a girlfriend, and this is the girl I’m trying to pursue and.. and kept on telling ‘most girls date assholes’, anyway, I need to have a word with him. He specifically stated the two didn’t like each other. I think he was unconsciously doing this though, not intentionally. It kinda bewildered me but I needed to have him on my team, to communicate my message, but he kept on adding stupid shit to the equation that made things emotionally worse for me and her,

Anyway, he told her that he thinks I like her, especially judging from a photo of us sitting on a hill which we shared on Facebook, and I tagged her in.

She took 2 hours to reply to “seriously do you like him?” with “please, are you crazy”. She still hasn’t replied to this and most likely will do so tomorrow, when me her and my dad are going on a trip around 177km away for three days.

This is something I wanted because seriously even hanging around her and talking to her a second ago, I couldn’t find a single atom in me that could muster up the willpower to ask her that question, because it’s so damaging to our friendship if it goes wrong and she finds that I’m coming on to her and that she can’t live with us anymore. Anyway, she lives with us * not next door to us, I kinda didn’t want to reveal everything completely but I see her everyday because of it.

Oddly I’m drawn in some ways intensely, but in other ways I see that feelings are almost always irrational and can be destructive.

I think evaluation and waiting it out would be the best response so then I can smoothly ask her what she thinks of me. I think I should just tell her upfront that I’m 50/50 interested in her and to ask her if she is interested in me for any bizarre reason, and I should tell her my friend put me up to it and that my friend that may actually be right and that he is asking me to ask whether she’s interested.
 

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Well you can ask all of us on a forum And sit on it and contemplate. Weighing out the interpretation and feedback from people who can’t physically read any of this situation.

Or ya can just say. YOLO. You only live once. And just ask her out. What’s the worst that happens? She rips a bandage off?

You guys are old enough, that I’m sure if worst case scenario even if she weren’t interested she’d likely be polite or civil. Best case scenario, I guess seems obvious.
 

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Discussion Starter #34
Well you can ask all of us on a forum And sit on it and contemplate. Weighing out the interpretation and feedback from people who can’t physically read any of this situation.

Or ya can just say. YOLO. You only live once. And just ask her out. What’s the worst that happens? She rips a bandage off?

You guys are old enough, that I’m sure if worst case scenario even if she weren’t interested she’d likely be polite or civil. Best case scenario, I guess seems obvious.
If you can read the above discussion, there are many barriers, we live together, and it's my place of work (she has a professional relationship with my family) and my family would be affected by it etc

Also I already told her indirectly that I liked her through a friend but there is yet to be a reply and when she was asked she was like "we are friends" or "are you crazy"
 

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If she finds you attractive, she is quickly losing attraction for you. You're being too indirect. Women don't like assholes. They like assertive men, and they would rather date an asshole who is assertive over a nice guy who beats around the bush. But here's the thing. You can be a nice guy and assertive at the same time. Just stop overthinking this.

"Hey, I like you. Let me take you out for dinner tonight." If she rejects you, you can stop wasting your time and energy thinking about this. If she takes your offer, you can get to know each other and move past this confusion. All this beating around the bush will only have one guaranteed outcome. A more assertive man is going to set his eyes on her, get with her, and you will end up stuck in the friendzone for life. You've been warned.

Edit: Yeah I get that there are barriers. But you have to trust that at 22 years old, she has the character to be honest with you.
 

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Discussion Starter #36
If she finds you attractive, she is quickly losing attraction for you. You're being too indirect. Women don't like assholes. They like assertive men, and they would rather date an asshole who is assertive over a nice guy who beats around the bush. But here's the thing. You can be a nice guy and assertive at the same time. Just stop overthinking this.

"Hey, I like you. Let me take you out for dinner tonight." If she rejects you, you can stop wasting your time and energy thinking about this. If she takes your offer, you can get to know each other and move past this confusion. All this beating around the bush will only have one guaranteed outcome. A more assertive man is going to set his eyes on her, get with her, and you will end up stuck in the friendzone for life. You've been warned.

Edit: Yeah I get that there are barriers. But you have to trust that at 22 years old, she has the character to be honest with you.
I asked her if she liked me , because a friend said these things that you were showing signs and she said she had nothing like that and that we work together and she called him crazy.

I'm not sure if its okay to pursue it after this and just leave it at that guys, like it's just too difficult contextually. If something changes, she will let me know but nothing is going to happen immediately.
 

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Discussion Starter #37
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If she finds you attractive, she is quickly losing attraction for you. You're being too indirect. Women don't like assholes. They like assertive men, and they would rather date an asshole who is assertive over a nice guy who beats around the bush. But here's the thing. You can be a nice guy and assertive at the same time. Just stop overthinking this.

"Hey, I like you. Let me take you out for dinner tonight." If she rejects you, you can stop wasting your time and energy thinking about this. If she takes your offer, you can get to know each other and move past this confusion. All this beating around the bush will only have one guaranteed outcome. A more assertive man is going to set his eyes on her, get with her, and you will end up stuck in the friendzone for life. You've been warned.

Edit: Yeah I get that there are barriers. But you have to trust that at 22 years old, she has the character to be honest with you.
We've already visited restaurants together as friends and just us two but we didnt have anything there

I told her I "kinda like her" and she just said "okay". And told me not to worry about my friends who make jokes.

Anyway I think she is being dishonest with me because she also added "we are friends because we live together", wait does that mean, that if we weren't living together, we would be something other than friends? Like these statements are like not conclusive enough.

I'm not necessarily beating around the bush, and the other guy from the bank who liked her who she told to message him, just up front told him he liked her and that's why she asked him to do that but there's no overt signs she likes him and she tries to keep a distance around him lol anyway that's guy's an asshole and assertive in some way but yeah I just did the exact same thing and got a weird response back.
 

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“please, are you crazy”
Not the best reply! Close to the worst, actually. The only problem is the dynamics of the situation; forced in a way to be around each other, working together and so on.

I think I should just tell her upfront that I’m 50/50 interested in her and to ask her if she is interested in me
This 50/50 stuff doesn't really work with women. And she's an ISTP, which is like... a loner in a way, someone who could do without contact with society for 6 months and it not even be a thing. A mechanic, a tomboy, a bro. So, you really could just be a bro. ISTP would be found in remote places doing difficult work, and want to do the work, not sit at a desk. Sounds like you guys work in a logging company or something. Remote and work together.

I wrote all that before your new replies. Let's see...

I asked her if she liked me , because a friend said these things that you were showing signs and she said she had nothing like that and that we work together and she called him crazy.
Probably not interested.

I told her I "kinda like her" and she just said "okay". And told me not to worry about my friends who make jokes.
"If I don't like you, maybe I lose my job, so okay, thanks for letting me know, this is awkward."

Anyway I think she is being dishonest with me because she also added "we are friends because we live together", wait does that mean, that if we weren't living together, we would be something other than friends?
Yes, if you weren't living so close, she probably wouldn't be that close a friend. She's a bro. She likes poking fun and getting her buttons pushed. She's not emotional, ISTP is one of the least emotional types. So lovey-dovey stuff is cringe for her. You're giving off sensitive vibes when she probably just wants to be manhandled.

that's guy's an asshole and assertive in some way but yeah I just did the exact same thing and got a weird response back.
As someone else said, assertive and asshole is what some women respond to - until they're a single parent with two children. But, in the interim, primal mating dominates the urges of high-Se users. You're likely giving her emotion, and with Fe being her inferior function, she dislikes receiving emotion. She dislikes receiving emotion - and actively avoids it. She's in her happy spot when there's no emotion being dished out. Which is why things like "I like you" don't fly. She's probably the kind of girl who would respond better to "wanna smash?"

With all this in mind, it seems like you're looking for a more emotional relationship. You don't say you're really pulled towards her, so you could just be responding to limited options and hormones from being in such close proximity. If you really cannot help dish out emotion, she's just going to keep pulling away, because inferior Fe actively moves away from emotional energy. If you cry, she's gone kind of thing.

If you wanted to be with her, you'd probably have to break down all your nice guy barriers, and do something out of your comfort zone. I could give you ideas, but they might be crude. Instead, just think of how to be laser-direct in what you want. Generally it's a pattern of behavior though, not a one-off thing. You'd have to be an assertive dick for a long period of time, one who doesn't show any emotion, to regain interest. You would need to joke around and make fun of her and play that kind of game. The friend who called her fat is higher up in her mind, because he doesn't give off emotion to her.

Which again, I don't think is your personality, and you'd really have to adapt yourself in this situation to get anywhere. You'd have to change.

The pains of too little information... people can only advise you on the information they have. So even though I thought all these signs were "Yes" in the initial post, the close proximity, position of power, and her type, all change the picture.

For your own sake, I think you again need to be laser-direct here. Otherwise it is going to eat at you. You're at the point of no return here. If you don't do anything, you've failed regardless. If you push forward through your shyness and directly state what you want (what do you want, anyway? holding hands walking down the road? what does she want? Probably mudwrestling :) ), at least you will know. Like the guy at the bank who just says hey I think you're hot what's your number? What does he want? Just to hook up. And she's responsive to that. If you want a friend with benefits, she's probably more responsive to that.

The only thing I can really say for certain, is that as ISTP, emotion is like an opposing magnet, and they will run from it. Everything else I'm saying is based on a world created in my mind with all these variables and attempting to see where they play out under different situations. You can't hurt her feelings, and she dislikes people who get their feelings hurt, so she's around a lot of guys, who generally have thick skin. Sensory experiences fuel her. Punch her in the arm playfully is her love language. Skydiving. Driving fast. Any sensory thing. I'm not sure your type...

Ok I did some looking at your post history, and you may have said you are ENTJ in a post. This makes sense why you guys get along well, because you dislike giving emotion actually, it makes you cringe, and she dislikes receiving emotion which makes her cringe. You guys connect really well on the idea-level - you guys both have and enjoy the same ideas and things to do and you like her ideas a lot. You both enjoy a sensory experience, experiencing the sights and sounds of the world, though she enjoys it more. I'm surprised you're in this situation actually, but it could be due to the fact that, since Fe inferior users like ISTP still need emotional energy (they just don't need a lot) and since you give off a tiny bit of emotional energy that she needs, she feels comfortable around you. She's just hanging out absorbing the little emotion she needs from you and that makes her fulfilled, where too much emotion makes her uneasy and absolute-zero emotion makes her depressed, and having to be emotional makes you uncomfortable. You probably both enjoy action/anime/scifi movies more than dramas. You guys fit well in that regard. There's no Si between you two, to fill your Se, so she's always on the look out for some sensory experience, and you are too but to a lesser degree; the thing here is, you don't provide it. You don't fill that void for her and she needs a lot of it, Se is her main way of interacting with the world. Punch her in the arm!

Your Te is going to use this information to make a winning-idea call on how to resolve this situation. Trust your Ni intuition from this point on. You really never needed help here. You just needed to be more assertive.And again, her Se is how she interacts with the world and how she feels fulfilled. Any sensory experience is good for her. Anything that makes her physically "feel", is her love language. You can do a lot with that information.

You're trying to connect to her on an emotional level with your inferior Fi, when you really need to be connecting with her on your Te/Se level. You need to ask her, "Hey, what do you think would be really fun to go do?" She's going to come up with some idea using her dominant Ti that facilitates her getting something sensory to fill her secondary Se. And you will use your Te/Ni to know what is a great place to go do that great idea she came up with. And when she sees you just want to have fun with her and don't care, all while you guys are getting this excited, sensory experience, you will grow closer. If you two have never been sky diving, that would be a first that would associate you with fun sensory experiences. But, her idea will be way better, so defer to whatever she comes up with, and apply your Te to implement that idea the best way you know how. It's what you're good at.
 

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Discussion Starter #39 (Edited)
Not the best reply! Close to the worst, actually. The only problem is the dynamics of the situation; forced in a way to be around each other, working together and so on.

This 50/50 stuff doesn't really work with women. And she's an ISTP, which is like... a loner in a way, someone who could do without contact with society for 6 months and it not even be a thing. A mechanic, a tomboy, a bro. So, you really could just be a bro. ISTP would be found in remote places doing difficult work, and want to do the work, not sit at a desk. Sounds like you guys work in a logging company or something. Remote and work together.

I wrote all that before your new replies. Let's see...

Probably not interested.

"If I don't like you, maybe I lose my job, so okay, thanks for letting me know, this is awkward."

Yes, if you weren't living so close, she probably wouldn't be that close a friend. She's a bro. She likes poking fun and getting her buttons pushed. She's not emotional, ISTP is one of the least emotional types. So lovey-dovey stuff is cringe for her. You're giving off sensitive vibes when she probably just wants to be manhandled.
Well I dont know if she likes to be "man handled"

I dont agree with your analysis at all here, before I would have when it was just the IOIs but now after asking it seems that she genuinely likes me but has found a way to deny it.

Like the "we are friends because we live together" pretty much is the same thing as "if we didnt live together we would be more than friends"

Just letting you know THAT'S how Ti works. It's not about emotions at all. She and every ISTP I've met have been socially extroverted and overly emotional and cry a lot. But they're all analytical and logical at least in what they say.

She's practical but shes not a tomboy that is an assumption. Not all ISTP girls are like tomboys. I've had plenty of overly emotional XSTP friends.

She goes for "responsible" assholes, like the guy at the bank is a responsible asshole who is an istj 1w9. And the guy she freindzoned is similar but not an asshole, like an istj 1w2.

As someone else said, assertive and asshole is what a lot of women want - until they're a single parent with two children. But, in the interim, primal mating dominates the urges of high-Se users. You're likely giving her emotion, and with Fe being her inferior function, she dislikes receiving emotion. She dislikes receiving emotion - and actively avoids it. She's in her happy spot when there's no emotion being dished out. Which is why things like "I like you" don't fly. She's probably the kind of girl who would respond better to "wanna smash?"

With all this in mind, it seems like you're looking for a more emotional relationship. You don't say you're really pulled towards her, so you could just be responding to limited options and hormones from being in such close proximity. If you really cannot help dish out emotion, she's just going to keep pulling away, because inferior Fe actively moves away from emotional energy. If you cry, she's gone kind of thing.
She hates when guys talk like that and tells me about that as well, that's like cat calling lmao yeah something she dislikes. She tells me all of it.

Hell nah man, I'm not looking for an emotional relationship, I hate overly emotional displays. Anyway, someone who actually saw us said we looked like girlfriend and boyfriend, so whatever it is, we both are just complementary in regard to personality. We both are like that. It makes me think either I have the characteristics of an ISFJ 5w4 or she has certain characteristics of an INFJ 9w8.


If you wanted to be with her, you'd probably have to break down all your nice guy barriers, and do something out of your comfort zone. I could give you ideas, but they might be crude. Instead, just think of how to be laser-direct in what you want. Generally it's a pattern of behavior though, not a one-off thing. You'd have to be an assertive dick for a long period of time, one who doesn't show any emotion, to regain interest. You would need to joke around and make fun of her and play that kind of game. The friend who called her fat is higher up in her mind, because he doesn't give off emotion to her.

Which again, I don't think is your personality, and you'd really have to adapt yourself in this situation to get anywhere. You'd have to change.

The pains of too little information... people can only advise you on the information they have. So even though I thought all these signs were "Yes" in the initial post, the close proximity, position of power, and her type, all change the picture.
I'm not the nice guy, she already had a friend like that. I'm much more assertive hence why I asked her if she liked me and told her I liked her. That's confidence.

I've already made critical comments about her and teased her in the past and maybe that led to this whole interest thing she has anyway. Shit I didnt even know but I do that to everyone, literally all my XSTP friends, no matter how popular they were in high school.

Oh, she told me that she thinks he's way too much and she doesnt seem to like him at all and the guy who called her fat has a girlfriend and says this girl I like is not his type either. If they could ever make it work it would be short term and I would be somewhere nearby shaking my head saying "I told you so"

For your own sake, I think you again need to be laser-direct here. Otherwise it is going to eat at you. You're at the point of no return here. If you don't do anything, you've failed regardless. If you push forward through your shyness and directly state what you want (what do you want, anyway? holding hands walking down the road? what does she want? Probably mudwrestling :) ), at least you will know. Like the guy at the bank who just says hey I think you're hot what's your number? What does he want? Just to hook up. And she's responsive to that. If you want a friend with benefits, she's probably more responsive to that.

The only thing I can really say for certain, is that as ISTP, emotion is like an opposing magnet, and they will run from it. Everything else I'm saying is based on a world created in my mind with all these variables and attempting to see where they play out under different situations. You can't hurt her feelings, and she dislikes people who get their feelings hurt, so she's around a lot of guys, who generally have thick skin. Sensory experiences fuel her. Punch her in the arm playfully is her love language. Skydiving. Driving fast. Any sensory thing. I'm not sure your type...
I think I wanted to know whether she liked me or not and found out that she actually does, which is something I initially thought was maybe an internal obsession but now I know that it's true. So I'm satisfied but

I have thick skin compared to all the guys she is friends with. Lol you havent met her guy friends, you may even think they're flamboyant or mistake them for being gay.

I've already done all the punching in the arm playfully, I'm like that anyway actually . I grew up with close XSTP friends, which is why the INTP with ISFJ characteristics definition makes sense.

My feelings are rarely hurt, I'm a Ti user so I'm detached from most of that. People remind me about that stuff, like "hey that will hurt her feelings" etc

Ok I did some looking at your post history, and you may have said you are ENTJ in a post. This makes sense why you guys get along well, because you dislike giving emotion actually, it makes you cringe, and she dislikes receiving emotion which makes her cringe. You guys connect really well on the idea-level - you guys both have and enjoy the same ideas and things to do and you like her ideas a lot. You both enjoy a sensory experience, experiencing the sights and sounds of the world, though she enjoys it more. I'm surprised you're in this situation actually, but it could be due to the fact that, since Fe inferior users like ISTP still need emotional energy (they just don't need a lot) and since you give off a tiny bit of emotional energy that she needs, she feels comfortable around you. She's just hanging out absorbing the little emotion she needs from you and that makes her fulfilled, where too much emotion makes her uneasy and absolute-zero emotion makes her depressed, and having to be emotional makes you uncomfortable. You probably both enjoy action/anime/scifi movies more than dramas. You guys fit well in that regard. There's no Si between you two, to fill your Se, so she's always on the look out for some sensory experience, and you are too but to a lesser degree; the thing here is, you don't provide it. You don't fill that void for her and she needs a lot of it, Se is her main way of interacting with the world. Punch her in the arm!

Your Te is going to use this information to make a winning-idea call on how to resolve this situation. Trust your Ni intuition from this point on. You really never needed help here. You just needed to be more assertive.And again, her Se is how she interacts with the world and how she feels fulfilled. Any sensory experience is good for her. Anything that makes her physically "feel", is her love language. You can do a lot with that information.
That description is right, she definitely absorbs my energy when she's around but its my presence in general and she becomes more excited and shes generally standoffish and critical with other people. Like I was saying even with the guy friend from the bank, she seems standoffish at the beginning anyway, like literally keeping a personal distance between her and him

I'm INTP 4w5 with ISFJ 5w4 characteristics. I'm not ENTJ and never thought I was actually.

"Absolute zero emotion makes her depressed" that's how she was after my friend talked to her and after I talked to her she became better and less depressed and excited. Actually that is weird. Even today she gave me this look like she was a deer caught in the headlights, when I was slightly yelling about someone at the electronics shop

You're trying to connect to her on an emotional level with your inferior Fi, when you really need to be connecting with her on your Te/Se level. You need to ask her, "Hey, what do you think would be really fun to go do?" She's going to come up with some idea using her dominant Ti that facilitates her getting something sensory to fill her secondary Se. And you will use your Te/Ni to know what is a great place to go do that great idea she came up with. And when she sees you just want to have fun with her and don't care, all while you guys are getting this excited, sensory experience, you will grow closer. If you two have never been sky diving, that would be a first that would associate you with fun sensory experiences. But, her idea will be way better, so defer to whatever she comes up with, and apply your Te to implement that idea the best way you know how. It's what you're good at.

I was thinking that's the only thing that can be done from here but heres the thing, since we live together, we've already spent quality time together just us two. So I can add to that but we already did it in some way .
 

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I dont agree with your analysis at all here
Perfect :)

Like the "we are friends because we live together" pretty much is the same thing as "if we didnt live together we would be more than friends"
Hard to understand tone over text; the words themselves here look like a negative. "We're only friends because we live together." Good context then.

Yes all I have are assumptions.

Hell nah man, I'm not looking for an emotional relationship, I hate overly emotional displays.
Since I was wrong on your type, and you two both have inferior Fe, she feels the exact same way. This is good.

I've already made critical comments about her and teased her in the past and maybe that led to this whole interest thing she has anyway.
Then yes you're still in a good spot. And you've given her the playful punch in the arm stuff, naturally, as you would as an Si user (Se users wouldn't, which is I why I said do that thing when I thought you were an Se user, and you're actually an Si user, so you would and have done that kind of thing). All good here.

I'm INTP 4w5
After considering type (even if I was wrong in thinking ENTJ) I could get more specific. So in this case, you BOTH have inferior Fe and hate receiving emotion. Both of you get along there, though you need a small dose of it to feel your best. You actually do create sensory experience. I wonder what it is. You make some kind of sensory experience. You like her concepts and she likes the sensory experience she gets from you (and wants more I'm guessing).

This is cool. You both share Ti and Fe. So, consider those like neutral. Either of you come up with good ideas, and they're equally good. Neither has a problem with the others' ideas, but also, you don't need each others' ideas - you have your own. You both have inferior Fe, so you both dislike receiving emotion, but you both need a tiny drop of it every now and then from an outside source. Yelling at someone might be your way of getting this - hopefully you use it constructively. Some people devolve into filling their Fe by abusing people. But as inferior Fe, you probably don't need it too often.

Basically neither of you care about emotional displays, on the same level of really not enjoying it, though you both will need a drop of it from some outside source now and then. Usually obtained from just being around different people in general. And remember, absolute zero emotion gets you depressed too. You might lash out at someone to get an infrequent dose of emotion from them.

Her Ni sparks your Ne, and your Si sparks her Se. This is where you two "have chemistry" in my opinion. Because your other functions don't complement each other and instead are equals, this is where you guys have some dynamic. Think of what sensory experience you create, and do more of that, it's what she uses to work well. In fact, the "deer in the headlights" when you were yelling at someone, that loud noise is exactly what she's drawn to, and is fixated on it. For comparison, as a secondary Fe user myself, any time someone is emotional, I become fixated on them and soak it in. Anything loud you do, anything sensory, is how she prefers interacting with the world. Do more loud. Do more fast. Do more excite. You create these events, too. You're a source of sensory experience - Si. If you play a guitar, or have a loud truck, do more loud. More sensory.

I say more because, your Si is tertiary, so you use it, but not a lot, and her Se is secondary, so she needs a lot of it.

Likewise, her abstract concepts in how she sees things really fuels your Ne, which you need to feel your best. This is why you're drawn to her, at the same level she's drawn to you. "Okay I guess?" You both give a little bit of your tertiary function to fuel each others' secondary function... But not a huge dose which really pulls you in to someone.

Before I go on, please note I'm referencing a concept I've developed on how cognitive functions seem to connect naturally. I've explained it a lot in other posts, and I see a lot of good response to this information, so I keep presenting it as factual when it is theory. But it's a theory that can be applied, so you may enjoy that.

To contrast, as an INFJ, when I meet an INFP, it's like we can't get enough of each others' company. Doesn't matter of it's a man or woman, we just click on some strange level. Since each have opposite functions, it's like a feedback loop when interacting that is causing us to simply get along like long time friends for no apparent reason.

In your case, you only have one feedback loop, your Si to her Se, her Ni to your Ne. This is where you two connect - you want more of her depth and that fuzzy stuff going on inside her mind, and she wants more of that sensory experience that you create.

I side tracked a little, so I will condense it down to this: the more sensory experience you create, the more she will fixate. Play some music louder than normal. Turn up the output of the sensory experience you already create. Your volume is on a 4. Turn it up to 10. You also decide what and where to eat. Do more of that.

Everything else is irrelevant in my opinion. Focus on creating sensory experiences.
 
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