[illicit iridescence]

I've tried looking for threads and articles on this specific topic, but yeah, this thread is proof I failed finding one. Sorry ^^;

Do you think there's such a thing as "the mature INFP" (and thus, "the childish INFP")?

If no, why not?

If yes, what are the differences between mature and immature INFP's? Is it just a matter of having a 'developed' Fi/Ne/Si function(s), or can one tell it from the big picture? Or is it just a matter of personality traits?

Theories, thoughts, opinions, experiences, articles, links, all very much appreciated. :3

 

[Loveternity]

For some reason, I don't feel mature and immature can be measured, hence they cannot be "reached". It's similar to mental health; no one is 100% healthy or unhealthy, we're all somewhere in-between.

That said, I believe all my Fi-Ne-Si functions are quite well-developed considering my 25 years of age, but I really cannot imagine myself using Te efficiently... ever. I hope I prove myself wrong as time goes by.

 

[amanda32]

What is your definition of mature and how do INFPs fall short?

 

[illicit iridescence]

What is your definition of mature and how do INFPs fall short?

I don't mean maturity in the socially accepted sense. But I do wonder if INFP's can be distinguished from one another in terms of 'mature' and 'childish', what the criteria would be, and in such, consequentially, what the definition is or would or should be.

Do they fall short? Eh. Perhaps? But that's not my question, no.

 

[illicit iridescence]

For some reason, I don't feel mature and immature can be measured, hence they cannot be "reached". It's similar to mental health; no one is 100% healthy or unhealthy, we're all somewhere in-between.

That said, I believe all my Fi-Ne-Si functions are quite well-developed considering my 25 years of age, but I really cannot imagine myself using Te efficiently... ever. I hope I prove myself wrong as time goes by.

Maybe they cannot be measured, but can maturity and immaturity be 'diagnosed'? Seeing that you answered with telling about your functions, does that mean you think that their development says something about maturity and immaturity?

And what is it that refrains you from thinking/imagining you could ever use Te efficiently?

PS: sorry for the doublepost :S And I can't find a delete button, or is that just me?

 

[amanda32]

I don't mean maturity in the socially accepted sense. But I do wonder if INFP's can be distinguished from one another in terms of 'mature' and 'childish', what the criteria would be, and in such, consequentially, what the definition is or would or should be.

Do they fall short? Eh. Perhaps? But that's not my question, no.

Ah, I see.

I guess an immature INFP would blame others for their problems and lash out disproportionately or at the wrong person. They'd bottle up their emotions and let them explode instead of telling the person who offends them in a reasonable and timely manner in a way that resolves it. I think this is learned and comes with age and experience. I'm not sure it's ever conquered, simply because of the amount of emotion that's felt in the moment of offense.

I suppose an immature INFP would often be late and have an excuse as to why it wasn't their fault, a mature one would take responsibility for it and not make an excuse.

And immature INFP would make promises and then back out, a mature one would say, "maybe".

Not sure what else right now.

 

[Loveternity]

And what is it that refrains you from thinking/imagining you could ever use Te efficiently?

Simply put, I find it very hard to reach an objective consensus with people. I cannot use Te without my Fi interfering after a while. xD

As for your question on maturity/immaturity, I'll quote Amanda's insightful post.

I guess an immature INFP would blame others for their problems and lash out disproportionately or at the wrong person. They'd bottle up their emotions and let them explode instead of telling the person who offends them in a reasonable and timely manner in a way that resolves it. I think this is learned and comes with age and experience. I'm not sure it's ever conquered, simply because of the amount of emotion that's felt in the moment of offense.

I'd say I'm still quite "immature" based on that, but I certainly don't bottle up as much as I used to.

I suppose an immature INFP would often be late and have an excuse as to why it wasn't their fault, a mature one would take responsibility for it and not make an excuse.

On that regard, I'm "mature".

And immature INFP would make promises and then back out, a mature one would say, "maybe".

Again, I'm "mature" in that case.

I use quotation marks on the words because I feel they're simply labels, and I don't really like those.

 

[illicit iridescence]

Mhm, interesting. @amanda32, I see what you're saying and it makes me wonder, is the mark of a mature INFP her/his capability of behaving in a socially desirable/acceptable manner?

@Overflow, I cannot help but think "Why not?" about using Te. Maybe it's because of a personal experience of mine with my previous job - sometimes I can't act according to how I wish things were, but have to act according what was decided (in meetings). Then again, the base of those decisions is "that which is good for the company and/or client", so... Hm.

 

[Loveternity]

the base of those decisions is "that which is good for the company and/or client", so... Hm.

Isn't that your Fi trying to justify your actions based on your own moral values? =)

Using my imagination, that's how I picture my functions working:

Scenario: The topic is euthanasia.

Te: Experts on the matter say that if allowed, it would be abused. Therefore, it should not be allowed.

Fi: Oh please, every human being has the right to die with dignity. You disgust me, Te.

Ne: Can you two stop arguing and focus on the big picture here? What if there was a way to allow it without it being abused? Think of all the good that can come from that!

Fi: Why does that even matter? As long as it feels right, it is right, end of story.

Ne: Si, help me out here.

Si: *conjures a random memory*

!

Ne: ... How does that help?

Fi: Bahahaha! That's funny and it cheers me up, thanks Si!

Te: I find laughing at the idea of a naked grandma completely irrational and most people would agree.

Fi: DIE! DIE! DIE! *grabs a machine gun and shoots Te*

... Yeah.

 

[rbgj]

I'm just curious: are you talking about "maturity" as it is depicted in type descriptions?

 

[illicit iridescence]

I'm just curious: are you talking about "maturity" as it is described in type descriptions?

More precisely, I'm talking about whether maturity is distinguishable between INFP's, and as of such, I guess I am talking about maturity as described in type descriptions? Eh. ^^;

 

[WannieTheSane]

I'm probably still not getting this even after what you just wrote, but when I first read the title I just thought you meant the basic mature vs immature type situation... for example:

I had a get together with two really close families, the parents are in their forties and their kids in their teens (from 11 to 21). My wife and I have a baby and we are both 29. Anyway, the point is the family who threw the shindig had an Xbox Kinect and put Just Dance 2 in. I was cutting up a frickin' rug! I rolled up my one pant leg to be all gangster after awhile and was just cutting loose. Everyone thought it was hilarious and was cracking right up (some literal knee slapping and rolling around on the floor).

Afterward I sort of wondered what people think of me, because although the other dads are both really fun and easygoing, neither one of them got up to dance and I was so over the top. I was assured after by their wives that they loved me, but it just made me consider how immature I was/am. Not in a bad way, but in a child like way in which I don't care how stupid I look as long as someone is laughing (preferably with as opposed to at me).

On the other hand people come to me with emotional problems and since I was a child people have been telling me how wise I am (not that I think I am, I've just heard that or similar titles).

So, I may have missed the point of your question, but I am a pretty good mixture of immature and mature, depending on what the situation calls for. If I totally messed up your thread, my apologies.

 

[illicit iridescence]

Isn't that your Fi trying to justify your actions based on your own moral values? =)

That is exactly my point by saying "Hm." xD The thing is though, maybe this *yet to be identified* value enables my Fi to be cool with Te in that situation? When it comes down to brainstorms, I do try to keep up an Te-ish attitude, I have yet to discover if my Fi-ness comes messing around. Thus far, not yet. Hence, "why not?".

I'm probably still not getting this even after what you just wrote, but when I first read the title I just thought you meant the basic mature vs immature type situation...
[...] If I totally messed up your thread, my apologies.

No no, no messing up done at all ^^ Your example of being very playful is an example of the (im)maturity I see as "socially desirable." I mean, when people just talk about maturity in general, they mean a sort of mature in which you are responsible, capable of managing emotions, wizened (wisened?) up, all that jazz.

For the record, I think one should be both childish and mature when it comes down to the social definition. You sound like a pretty cool dad to me.

Back to the topic: the maturity I mean is something I'm trying to discover with this thread (by having ya'll reply). I suspect INFP-maturity is about how 'well-developed' your functions are, but also, in a sense, how good you are in 'controlling' the functions. Which is why I asked this in a previous post: "is the mark of a mature INFP her/his capability of behaving in a socially desirable/acceptable manner?"

Though, I guess, more precisely, it should be: "is the mark of a mature INFP her/his capability of controlling her/his functions, so to behave in a socially desirable/acceptable manner?"

Kinda? ^^;

 

[rbgj]

Back to the topic: the maturity I mean is something I'm trying to discover with this thread (by having ya'll reply). I suspect INFP-maturity is about how 'well-developed' your functions are, but also, in a sense, how good you are in 'controlling' the functions. Which is why I asked this in a previous post: "is the mark of a mature INFP her/his capability of behaving in a socially desirable/acceptable manner?"

Though, I guess, more precisely, it should be: "is the mark of a mature INFP her/his capability of controlling her/his functions, so to behave in a socially desirable/acceptable manner?"

Kinda? ^^;

This is why I was asking about the INFP-descriptions. Because in that case I do agree with you, it's about being balanced as well as including the perspectives of other functions into your conscious range. In that case, I'd say that they do in fact exist.

I don't think immaturity/maturity is a dichotomy, which seems to be the prevailing opinion. It's rather a range of qualities that people display more or less of, depending on circumstance. In essence, people aren't either mature or immature but both at the same time. It's essentially unstable.

..As for what people commonly refer to as maturity, I'd say it's very much governed by ST-values. But in my mind, that's not actually what maturity is about. Maturity is about being balanced and, well.. functional. About knowing your strengths and weakness and finding your place amidst the chaos of the world.

 

[Colyo]

"is the mark of a mature INFP her/his capability of controlling her/his functions, so to behave in a socially desirable/acceptable manner?"

When you live in a world of varying personalities, there are going to be plenty of people who appreciate the personality that you put forward in a social situation. Maturity as an INFP I believe comes a bit deeper in; perhaps its the ability to compensate for the flaws of our typing so we can more easily achieve equilibrium with a wider variety of types in slightly closer settings. Self control in friendships and relationships. IE, I have an INFP friend who is so hopelessly in love with his INTJ ex (who I'm actually with right now... long story behind that), to the point where it's become central to his values to wait for her until she can love him back. He's so drowned in solo romantics that she is literally all he talks about. Despite having a steady social life otherwise, a good job and being generally likeable so as to be considered mature in the usual sense, he's emotionally very much like a child due to a complete lack of self control.

There are plenty of examples this concept can be applied to if you get a bit creative; the usual relationship problem with INFP's garbling it up with moral confusion and the inability or lack of wanting to talk about critical issues.

 

[MikeTheKnife]

Back to the topic: the maturity I mean is something I'm trying to discover with this thread (by having ya'll reply). I suspect INFP-maturity is about how 'well-developed' your functions are, but also, in a sense, how good you are in 'controlling' the functions. Which is why I asked this in a previous post: "is the mark of a mature INFP her/his capability of behaving in a socially desirable/acceptable manner?"

Though, I guess, more precisely, it should be: "is the mark of a mature INFP her/his capability of controlling her/his functions, so to behave in a socially desirable/acceptable manner?"

Kinda? ^^;

I think the type of maturity you speak of exists in the INFP type... I've read more than a few posts here on PerC that would indicate that sort of attitude. I'd like to think of myself as one of these people. I've always been surrounded by so called objective thinker types, and I'm constantly giving myself mental reality checks. I'm not sure how healthy it is in the end, though. I mean, I've learned to take it easy on people, I accept those I don't agree with and try to see things from their point of view. I also try to give myself mental kicks in the ass when I'm in a downward spiral of negativity. Would things like that be considered mature? If so, would it still be considered mature if I admitted that using these tactics stress the hell out of me? I mean, I try to see things from everybody's point of view, but it seems like making the effort to be patient and understanding erodes my principles. It feels like I have give everybody a chance, even if my core is saying "Are you kidding me?" Is being mature about your tendencies supposed to be accompanied by turmoil? Because it is for me... I can't let myself feel morally superior or holier-than-thou. It just feels wrong, despite the fact that a lot of the time this is exactly how I feel. Is it more mature to expect less from people, empathize and at the same time beat yourself up for placing too much importance on your ideals? I may be missing the point... Being mature hurts, and I can't imagine myself striving for that and not feeling pain at the same time. Is maturity keeping your dominant functions in-check and not being all torn up about it?

Sorry, rambling. Lost all sense. Starting to feel as if I've missed the point altogether... my fingers are shaking right now. Thanks for the post, provoked me HARD.

 

[redhotchips]

When you live in a world of varying personalities, there are going to be plenty of people who appreciate the personality that you put forward in a social situation. Maturity as an INFP I believe comes a bit deeper in; perhaps its the ability to compensate for the flaws of our typing so we can more easily achieve equilibrium with a wider variety of types in slightly closer settings. Self control in friendships and relationships. IE, I have an INFP friend who is so hopelessly in love with his INTJ ex (who I'm actually with right now... long story behind that), to the point where it's become central to his values to wait for her until she can love him back. He's so drowned in solo romantics that she is literally all he talks about. Despite having a steady social life otherwise, a good job and being generally likeable so as to be considered mature in the usual sense, he's emotionally very much like a child due to a complete lack of self control.

There are plenty of examples this concept can be applied to if you get a bit creative; the usual relationship problem with INFP's garbling it up with moral confusion and the inability or lack of wanting to talk about critical issues.

Damn, I'm in the same situation as your friend, just that the girl isn't with someone exactly yet, but single and showing interest in someone else.

How does an INFP mature in this aspect??

 

[slytherin360]

But sometimes maturity is knowing when to loosen up and play with abandon .

I view maturity as an acceptance of self and others. And most INFPs are pretty good at that.
I don't think we ever truly lose our vivacity for life or avidity for adventure.

 

[Aqualung]

When I was young, the sign a person had matured was when they lost their sense of humor. If an old curmudgeon was gruff & critical he was thought to be "mature". And wise. I remember a lot of old people who had "matured" in that regard. Not me. I laugh at stupid things or act stupid to laugh or make others laugh. Having fun is still not beneath me, which continues to disgust my dad. But on the inside I've learned, survived, adapted & changed when life forced me to & I'm a very different person than I was even in my 30's. So I consider myself mature but like most things, my definition is at odds with the non-INFP world.

 

[Lackjester]

This website/article is pretty neat. Look for the "Ego-driven", "Pathological" and "Self-actualized" sections of each Enneagram types.

http://www.netplaces.com/enneagram/enneagram-type-one-evangelical-idealist/